Chapter 5
What the hell am I doing? Nessa thought as Murphy all but dragged her up the driveway, his steps long and purposeful as he led her to his home. She had no idea why she was letting him take her anywhere, especially after he’d chased her down less than ten minutes ago like a crazed animal.
He was definitely unstable, and after he’d initially scared her, that should have been all the motivation she needed to get the hell out of Dodge.
Instead, her fingers tightened around his in response, the delicious heat from his hand warming hers, and she let him lead her further away from her SUV. From safety.
She looked down at their hands, still surprised that she was holding it and not freaking out.
He really does run hotter than a human.
The thought came unbidden, reminding her of their previous conversation, and her cheeks heated in embarrassment. He’d thought she was hitting on him and his first response had been to thank her. He’d sounded so nonchalant about it.
Did he have that many women hitting on him all the time? Glancing at his muscular back and broad shoulders, she could understand why that might be true. Murphy was one of the most attractive men she’d ever seen; of course, other women would think so, too.
A small, irrational flash of jealousy filled her, but she pushed the emotion back.
This whole encounter with the surly Alpha had been a catastrophe of epic proportions.
Even though Nessa had known she needed to see Murphy herself after Hunny’s visit to her teahouse that morning, it had taken her hours to work up the nerve to come here.
She’d dragged her heels, afraid of what she’d find.
What she’d experienced so far had been eye-opening, to say the least.
After months of dreaming of the big man, when he’d opened the door to his home, all but snarling in her face, Nessa realized just how poor her memory of him had been.
Even spitting mad and clearly exhausted, if the red-rimmed eyes were any indication, Murphy was far more handsome than she’d remembered.
Taller than she remembered, too. The black sweater he wore hugged his muscular shoulders, outlining his broad frame perfectly, and despite how scared she’d been as he’d chased her down his gravel driveway, that fear had melted away immediately after he’d buried his face in her hair, breathing her in.
Her trembling had stopped, the constricted feeling in her chest had eased, and she had relaxed into him.
Wasn’t that odd?
For years, she’d dreaded the thought of physical contact with a man. Not only that, but her anxiety these past few months after the incident had doubled, leaving her constantly on edge. Murphy touching her in any way should have been terrifying, given that he could shift into a freaking bear.
Apparently, her body hadn’t cared about that.
It hadn’t cared about his brown eyes flickering a glowing golden color either.
Or that his fingers had lengthened into thick claws, piercing the roof of her SUV while he’d kept her pinned between the hard planes of his body and the steel frame of her vehicle.
Nope.
All she had cared about was that he’d smelled magnificent, even more alluring than the cologne that had taunted her every waking moment. It instantly relaxed her. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt that unguarded. That peaceful. And it all made no sense.
Was that why she’d agreed to come inside his home?
Maybe.
Or maybe it was the look he’d given her when she’d mentioned rejecting him.
The pure panic in Murphy’s eyes had made her feel like the worst person in the world, and she couldn’t figure out why.
She thought rejecting him would make him better, but after his adamant refusal, she wasn’t so sure anymore.
She also didn’t understand why the thought of letting him go made her feel sick to her stomach. She didn’t think she could ever be in a functional relationship again, so parting ways was the only logical option.
Wasn’t it?
Besides, it seemed they were both on the same page about being in a relationship—mating, she reminded herself.
Murphy didn’t say anything as he led Nessa up the porch steps and into his massive cabin. It was two stories high and at least double the size of Tank’s own cabin—not that she remembered much about his and Hunny’s home. She’d only been inside it once, and her memories of the place weren’t the best.
Suddenly, she felt claws ripping into her—
Don’t think about Jason.
Nessa took a steadying breath, ignoring the slight chill that swept down her spine.
Murphy looked over his shoulder, his eyes still that glowing, molten pool of gold. He studied her speculatively. “Cold?”
Nessa shook her head, lips pursed. Murphy’s eyes narrowed dangerously and then he huffed, turning to face ahead once more. His fingers squeezed hers reassuringly, though, as he stepped through the front door, which was still slightly ajar.
Her jaw dropped as soon as she entered the spacious living room. Black leather couches faced one another, a dark wooden coffee table nestled in between them, and a large stone fireplace lingered just beyond that. Two black, sleek chandeliers hung from the high, vaulted ceiling.
The open floor plan made the front of the house look massive, but that wasn’t what filled her with awe.
It was the giant wall made of floor-to-ceiling windows, held together with oak trim.
A glass door led out to a large porch overlooking the woods.
The moon was clearly visible in the night sky, giving the giant trees surrounding Murphy’s property an ethereal glow.
It was beautiful. And it put the view from her kitchen to absolute shame.
She’d never seen anything like this in Chicago, that was for damn sure.
Instead of taking her to the couches, Murphy gently pulled her to the left, through an archway that separated the dining room from the living room.
The dining room was smaller than she’d expected, but as soon as she spotted the kitchen, just past another archway, giddiness took hold, pushing everything else away.
“Holy crap!” Nessa all but shoved Murphy aside, wriggling her hand from his as she rushed into the giant space. The bear growled lowly as soon as they lost physical contact, but she barely noticed.
To be honest, it didn’t bother her. It was actually kind of cute, which probably should have alarmed her. But who knew a man growling over something so ridiculous would have her lips twitching as she fought back a smile?
“You like it?” Murphy asked gruffly as he stopped beside her. His arm brushed hers as he surveyed his kitchen like he was seeing it for the first time.
“Like it? My kitchen is nice. But this?” Nessa made a sweeping motion toward the kitchen with her hand. “This is niiiice.”
Seriously. Black granite countertops, light oak cabinets with the stainless steel appliances built in … The refrigerator had to have cost him a fortune, given that it was huge with french doors, one of which was a solid wall of glass.
Murphy grunted, moving toward the long island in the center, complete with a double basin sink. A sink set into the island? Nessa almost drooled, right then and there. He pulled out a barstool, nodding for her to take a seat.
“What?” Nessa cocked a brow, doing as he silently instructed and sliding onto the stool. “You don’t think your kitchen is impressive?”
Turning away from her, Murphy wandered over to that magnificent fridge, opening the glass door and looking inside.
“I’d probably think more about it if I spent any of my time in here. I can’t cook anything worth a damn.” He rummaged through the contents and sighed. “I was hoping for some takeout to eat, but everything is old.”
Nessa looked at the clock hanging on the far wall. “Did you not eat dinner?” She hadn’t, either, but she’d been too nervous about coming here to stomach anything.
He turned, eyes narrowed into irritated slits as he watched her.
It was then that she really got a good look at his face under the lighting.
Dark circles under his eyes, frown lines more prominent than she remembered …
His stubble was longer than before, too, like he’d forgotten to shave over the last few days, and his short hair, which she’d only ever seen immaculately tidy, was a mess, like he’d run his hands through it several times.
“When was the last time you ate, Murphy?” Nessa asked, her voice softening. “Or slept? You look exhausted.”
Huffing, he turned back to the fridge, looking inside again like it had magically grown food.
Before she could think better of it, Nessa left her stool, moving over to the surly shifter. She stopped a foot away from him, waiting for her heartbeat to pick up or her breath to catch. Usually, being this close to another man always caused anxiety to prickle across her mind.
But just like when he’d touched her, all she felt was an odd sense of ease.
“Want me to make you something?”
“I don’t need you coddling me, Nessa,” Murphy grumbled, still glaring at the fridge.
She rolled her eyes. “That’s not what I asked, Grumpy.”
Was the huffing a family trait? Tank was always grunting about something. Or maybe it was a bear thing? Her lips twitched again, imagining a grizzly bear stubbing its toe on a tree stump and grumbling as its jowls flapped comically.
Murphy cast a sidelong look in her direction. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing,” Nessa answered quickly, moving a little bit closer so she could peek into the fridge too. It was as barren as it looked through the glass door. “Do you have a pantry?”
He pointed to a long cabinet beside the fridge. Not wasting a moment, she moved to the pantry, taking a look inside. It was almost as bad as the fridge. A few packages of instant ramen noodles, a bag of unopened potato chips … A ton of sugary snacks filled one entire shelf. Not much else.
How the hell was Murphy in such good shape with a diet like this?