Chapter 9
Murphy watched Nessa drive away, his heart in his throat and his bear roaring morosely in his ears, demanding he go after her. Fists clenched, he took a deep, shuddering breath, willing himself to calm down.
It was difficult, considering the sweet smell of Nessa’s arousal had his dick harder than steel, his own lust causing his balls to ache. He thought he’d gotten a hint of her desire moments earlier on her front step, but it had come and gone so quickly, he assumed he’d imagined it.
Then, when they’d been standing at her car, he’d caught it again—that tantalizing scent of berries and cream combined with the heady, ripe scent of her slick—and everything inside of him had reacted.
His heart sped up, his blood heated, his canines had ached to lengthen and sink into her flesh, and his gut had clenched with need right as his dick stiffened.
The consequences of his actions had been the furthest from his mind as he’d leaned into his little mate, nuzzling her smooth skin. He’d nearly rubbed his groin against her lower belly in invitation, determined to let her know how much he wanted her.
He’d even verbalized it, which is exactly where he’d gone wrong.
He knew Nessa didn’t want a relationship, or the assumptions that came with it, yet he’d told her he wanted her. He’d scared her away because he’d been an idiot. They were friends, both without an interest in mating.
Yet, all of that disappeared the moment he’d scented her desire.
Tank’s words from this morning echoed in his head, and he could practically hear his brother taunting him mercilessly, reminding him that a friendship would be impossible.
Grumbling under his breath, Murphy walked over to his SUV, climbing inside and slamming the door closed more harshly than necessary.
Starting the vehicle, he waited until his phone connected to the speakers before calling his youngest brother.
He could have reached out to him telepathically but he knew his brother would still be out like a light and the phone ringing incessantly would be more annoying. And Jasper deserved that much.
Jasper picked up on the third ring, his loud yawn reverberating through the SUV. Murphy gritted his teeth, fingers tightening on the steering wheel as he slowly backed out of Nessa’s driveway.
“You realize it’s barely past nine a.m., right?” Jasper asked, his voice thick with sleep. “I need another few hours, at least, before I’ve had my beauty sleep.”
“Maybe if you didn’t spend your nights hiding outside my window, you’d have it,” Murphy bit out, turning out onto the street leading to Nessa’s Teahouse. The town she lived in wasn’t very large and traffic was light, leaving him to count the seconds of silence that passed on the phone.
Jasper coughed awkwardly. “What can I say? The stars look better from your porch.”
“Ha, ha,” Murphy retorted dryly. “Luckily for you, I’ve got more pressing things to deal with than the fact you spied on me.”
“You do?” Murphy heard the mattress creak under Jasper’s weight as the bear’s voice rose in surprise. “What’s going on?”
“None of your business,” Murphy snapped. Running a hand through his hair, he sighed lowly. “I need you to do me a favor. Drive to Nessa’s work, pick up her car, and take it to the repair shop in our territory. See if Sabine and Michael can fix the mess I made of her driver’s side door.”
Sabine and Michael were an older bear couple who’d transferred from an Alabama bear clan to Murphy’s a few years ago, hoping to reconnect with their adopted human daughter, who’d moved nearby for medical school nearly a decade prior.
They were solid people, and as they’d owned their own repair shop before moving, it seemed only natural for them to own one here.
And luckily for Murphy, it was situated on Bear lands in the Montana wilderness.
Jasper was silent for a handful of seconds, and then he all but shouted, “What the hell did you do to your mate?!”
“Nessa is fine. Her SUV isn’t. My bear got a little excited to see her and kind of crushed some of the metal. Ensure it gets fixed by tonight, and I’ll consider your voyeurism over the last few weeks a non-issue.”
“Crazy bastard. Just wait until I tell Mom you’re out there harassing that poor human,” Jasper muttered before hanging up the phone, leaving Murphy to his thoughts.
Not that he wanted to think at all; he was still furious with himself for giving into his urges so totally, putting whatever relationship he had with Nessa at risk.
There was only one thing to do: apologize. And as he pulled into a parking spot in front of her teahouse, he intended to do just that.
She’d been right when she told him it likely wouldn’t be busy in the morning—there was only one other car in the lot, and it belonged to the beauty who’d fled his sight less than ten minutes ago.
Turning off his SUV and hopping out, Murphy reached the front door to the building in a handful of long strides, his steps deliberate and purposeful.
Despite his odd behavior over the past few months, he was normally a male of strength, determination, and integrity.
Essential traits in an Alpha. Traits that also included owning up to his mistakes and taking accountability for his actions.
Opening the glass door to Nessa’s shop, Murphy stepped inside, following the sounds of his mate’s movements. He found her behind the counter in the lobby, bent at the waist as she fiddled with something in a cabinet. He cleared his throat, not wanting to startle her.
Nessa’s head shot up as she tensed, wary eyes locking onto him. Then she relaxed, releasing a small breath. “Considering you’re a billion feet tall, you’re really quiet.”
“I’m not a billion feet tall,” he argued lightly. They needed to talk about the moment that had passed between them, but bantering with her was easy. Fun, too. He didn’t want to ruin it by making her uncomfortable again.
So much for being a male of strength, you coward, he chided himself.
Nessa’s brow rose before her focus drifted from him and back to her task. “So how tall are you then?”
“Just over six and a half feet.”
She snorted as she pulled out display racks holding different tea boxes, setting them onto the counter. “Yeah, you’re a billion feet tall. So is your brother.”
“Tank?” he asked, a bit of a rumble in his voice. He didn’t want to talk about his brother or his physical traits; he wanted all of her attention.
His bear chuffed in agreement.
“That’s the only brother I’ve met,” Nessa informed him absentmindedly, pulling out another display rack and placing it on the other end of the counter, the cash register nestled in between both.
She kept her gaze downcast. Avoiding his gaze.
His gut twisted into a thick knot of unease.
He’d ruined everything, and it hadn’t even been twenty-four hours. “Hunny mentioned you had a few more.”
Murphy furrowed his brow. “You’ve seen Jasper, though you might not remember him.” He hoped not, because the only time she’d seen his brother, he’d been naked as the day he was born. “Do you need help with anything?”
Nessa shook her head quickly, still not looking at him. “Nope.”
“Nes,” Murphy uttered quietly, unable to keep quiet about their situation for another second. It was clearly bothering her.
“Hm?” She fiddled with a pen and notepad by the register, feigning busyness.
“Will you look at me?”
Nessa bit the inside of her cheek and then she squared her shoulders, her gaze clashing with his and holding him hostage.
“I’m sorry for what happened in my driveway,” she answered resolutely. “I didn’t mean to lead you on or to cause more conflict with your … bear …” She trailed off.
She was apologizing to him? Murphy couldn’t believe it.
Unable to stay away a moment longer, he slowly approached, her scent strengthening as he closed the distance between them. He didn’t stop until his legs brushed against the counter separating them.
“I need to apologize to you. You’ve done nothing wrong,” Murphy grated out, miffed that she would ever think she was to blame for anything.
“I know how you feel about us, and I completely disrespected your boundaries. It won’t happen again.
” He grimaced as his bear growled in disagreement.
“I’ll try my best to not let it happen again. ”
“Because your bear might make it difficult?” she quipped, her nostrils flaring slightly, like that fact irritated her.
Did it?
“Yes,” Murphy admitted without preamble. He clenched his jaw as more words threatened to spill out, words that he was afraid might change her mind about their arrangement. The thought of her turning him away, of him never seeing her again … it was unbearable.
But was it fair to pile all the blame onto his bear?
Murphy unclenched his jaw. “And no,” he admitted.
She cocked her head, studying him with wide eyes. “And no? What does that mean?”
“It’s not just my bear making it difficult. I’m partially responsible for my behavior earlier.” He frowned, unsure of where to begin. “I know you’re new to the shifter world, so I’ll try to explain what I mean.”
“Oh!” Nessa exclaimed, her face lighting up like he’d just offered her ten million dollars.
She pressed her hips against the side of the counter, leaning over the surface and barely, just barely, moving closer to him.
“I have so many questions about shifters, but I can wait until you’re done. I’m all ears, Alpha Murphy.”
Hearing his title fall from her lips was like an aphrodisiac, and just like that, lust licked at his shaft, sending a shock straight to his balls. His cock jerked as it hardened, and he had to beat back the urge to yank her over the counter and into his arms.
His hands physically shook and he swallowed thickly, slamming his eyes closed as temptation nearly overwhelmed him. Even though he was a dominant shifter and an Alpha, he’d never thought about anyone using his title in a sexual manner. Apparently, with Nessa, he liked it.
He wanted her bent over this counter, her juicy ass bouncing on his cock as he slammed into her from behind—
“Murphy?” Nessa’s voice, filled with a sudden uncertainty, startled him from his thoughts.
Eyes snapping open, he shot her an irate look. Not that it was her fault he’d become a horny lecher in her presence. He shook his head to clear it as desire thrummed through his veins.
“I find you very attractive.” The words tumbled out before he could stop them.
Nessa’s mouth dropped open, and she gaped at him like he’d grown a second head. “I—”
“It’s only natural I’d find you so,” he interrupted quickly, feeling oddly flustered.
Ridiculous, considering he was a grown male and in his thirties.
“Fate designed you to be my perfect match,” he explained.
“I have to find you irresistible. When I smelled your desire, I let my own urges take over. My bear was eager to take advantage of that.”
She stood up straight, sending him an odd, wounded look.
“You’re saying that if it weren’t for fate”—she air quoted the last word, a small bite to her voice —“then you wouldn’t find me attractive at all?
But because of some kind of chemical response, you have to?
I could be a hideous ogre, and you’d still want me? ”
“What?” Murphy sent her a confused look. “No.”
“That’s just what you said!” Nessa argued hotly. “You have to find me irresistible, like it’s hard-wired into your DNA. Is it because of how I smell?”
“I mean, your scent is addictive.” And alluring. And sensual. And—
“So it’s a smell thing. Not a physical attractiveness thing.” She nodded thoughtfully, but he caught the way her shoulders slumped and the fire in her eyes faded. He had done that. He’d unintentionally hurt her. “That actually makes sense.”
“I don’t—I mean—” Murphy pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to backtrack to where he’d derailed this entire conversation. “I don’t find you attractive because you’re my mate,” he finally reiterated, the words tumbling out of him in a rush.
“Everything about you makes my heart pound, Nes. Your scent, your beauty … I enjoy the sound of your voice, even when you’re berating me.
I find your attitude and humor refreshing and irritating all at once.
All of those things together make you irresistible, and that’s why it makes sense that fate chose you for me. ”
“Because I’m your perfect match,” she finished softly, her deep brown gaze meeting his. She narrowed her eyes a second later. “Wait, did you just call me irritating?”
“Yes.” Murphy sent her a serious look. “But back to my point; while I want to tell you that I’ll be capable of keeping my distance in the future, if my bear takes advantage of my urges, it might be difficult. I’ll understand if you don’t want me around anymore because of this, though.”
“What?” Nessa shook her head in denial. “I already told you, I’m not going to abandon you.
We’re friends, and friends help each other.
Besides”—she sniffled, her face turning a shade of red—“I might not have hated what happened between us. I-I didn’t think I’d ever enjoy feeling another man pressed so close to me like that again, but I did.
It kind of opens up a whole new world of possibilities for me, so I feel like I should be thanking you. ”
A whole new world of possibilities?
With other males?
Murphy’s vision went red and a deep, guttural growl began to form in his throat, red-hot jealousy threatening to burn him alive. Before it could emerge, though, he heard the door to the teahouse open, and a set of familiar footsteps approached.