Chapter 20
“I’m dying to know what’s going on with you two,” Hunny said nonchalantly, reaching across the table and plucking up a small puzzle piece. She kept her eyes focused on the half-completed jigsaw, fitting the piece into a tiny available slot. “You won’t leave me hanging in suspense forever, right?”
Nessa blushed, her cheeks burning as she placed her own piece into the puzzle before picking up another. “Um. No, of course not.”
She looked over her shoulder to the closed front door, wondering if Murphy could hear them from the other side.
Of course, he can. Super hearing, remember?
Son of a bitch.
All she wanted to do was yap with Hunny about the last week, but the thought of the men overhearing everything made her feel antsy.
When Nessa and Murphy had arrived at Tank’s cabin a little over an hour ago, she’d been worried that things between her and Hunny would be awkward.
She had wanted nothing more than to fall back into the easy conversations they’d had before the attack.
But anxiety clawed at her gut as she had approached her friend.
Luckily, it had been like riding a bike, and conversation between the two women had been effortless, although they’d kept it light so far.
But Nessa was dying to really talk to Hunny. After being away from each other for the last few months with essentially no contact, she was practically chomping at the bit to gossip with her friend. To tell her anything and everything involving Murphy.
Involving how they were a couple. However, she felt silly knowing the object of her obsession could hear her gushing about him just on the other side of the door.
“If you talk at this level, they won’t be able to hear you,” Hunny murmured softly, reading Nessa’s thoughts easily enough as her gaze also shifted to the front door. “Now spill, before I lose my mind.”
Nessa let out a long breath, wondering where to even begin. “We hooked up last night.”
“What?!” Hunny exclaimed, dropping her puzzle piece like it was on fire. She gaped at Nessa. “Shut the hell up! How was it?”
“Whisper!” Nessa hissed in exasperation, her ears pricking as if she could practically hear Murphy stomping back into the cabin to find out what they were talking about. He wasn’t, of course—that didn’t mean he wasn’t listening in, even unintentionally.
“Details, now,” Hunny demanded quietly, scooting her chair closer to Nessa. She leaned toward her, completely immersed.
“Uh—” Nessa floundered for a moment, her mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. How was it that now, when she finally had the opportunity to talk about everything, she had no idea what to say? “I guess we’ve been kind of dancing around each other for the better part of a week.”
“Dancing around each other? As in, you two both realized you like each other but did nothing about it right away?” Hunny waggled her brows teasingly.
A small smile formed on Nessa’s face. “Yes. I thought it was just his bear that liked me, given the whole ‘mating sickness’ thing.” Her smile fell. “Well, that and Murphy basically told me his bear wanted me and he didn’t.”
Hunny gasped. “He said what?!”
Nessa waved a dismissive hand. “I know. But we talked last night, and he admitted it wasn’t just his bear that wanted me; it was him, too. After that, I ended up staying the night at his place.”
“You dirty little minx,” Hunny praised, her eyes shining with mirth. “And you two had sex after that?”
“No, not exactly,” Nessa answered, her face flushing. “We did make each other orgasm, though.”
Hunny’s eyes widened, and then a slow, sly smile spread across her face. “And then what? Something else happened, didn’t it? You’ve got this dreamy look on your face, and I don’t think it’s from cumming.”
“Oh, my god, Hunny! What happened to whispering?” Nessa hissed, her face so warm she was certain someone could fry an egg on it. “For your information, we’re now officially in a relationship.”
Hunny lips parted in surprise. “Is that different from mating?”
“I—” Nessa cleared her throat, unsure of how to answer. “Yes. No. I don’t know, actually.” She grimaced. “Murphy said he wanted to ‘woo’ me first. He definitely mentioned mating, though.”
She just had no idea when that would happen, if ever. Maybe they’d realize how incompatible they were sexually and call it quits before a mating could even happen. Maybe Murphy would realize that, although she was his perfect match, she was too damaged emotionally to be the kind of woman he needed.
Then he’d wash his hands of her and move on to the next chick who caught his interest. Her heart clenched at the mere notion, even though she knew Murphy wouldn’t just abandon her.
You’re his mate. He wants you. He told you he was fine with your situation, so stop overthinking this! Besides, you didn’t freak out at all last night. Maybe you won’t when you actually have sex either.
The thought caused a shiver to race down her spine, a knot of tension forming in her lower belly that was equal parts anticipation of the future and fear of the unknown.
It was the fear that concerned her more than anything else.
Nessa sighed.
Even though Murphy was just outside chatting with Tank, she wished he was with her. He’d calm the storm clouds threatening to overwhelm her without even trying.
He could hold her hand, like he’d done on the car ride over here, and all she’d think about was how wonderfully it fit with hers. He’d be close enough that she could feel the heat of his body. She could lean into him, could breathe in his cologne.
That all sounded amazing, so what the hell was she doing, sitting here worrying over nothing? Murphy was less than fifteen feet away from her. Theoretically, it would be so easy to go to him. Instead, Nessa felt rooted to the spot, unable to move.
She bit back a frustrated groan.
She wished she felt confident enough in herself to march out the front door, go out there and get her man. She felt anxious without him, and if she was just going to be thinking about him the whole time anyway, he might as well be right next to her.
But say she gave in to temptation, walked right outside, and … and then what?
What did she actually plan to do? Drop onto his lap and tell him she wanted to cuddle? Kiss him, like she wasn’t terrified she’d freeze up and panic? Beg him to make her feel better like some silly teen?
Ugh! She had no idea what to do with her conflicting emotions.
Spontaneity wasn’t really her thing anymore, and while the thought of going out there, pulling Murphy’s head down, and kissing him until the world faded away was extremely appealing, she didn’t know if she could be that ballsy.
You kissed him last night, she reminded herself, some of her uncertainty disappearing as she recalled just how bold she’d been then. And you invited him to shower with you.
Even if Murphy hadn’t taken her up on the offer—and the small rejection had kind of stung—she’d still done it. She’d still taken those leaps. She’d gone after what she wanted.
Maybe she was far more ballsy than she was giving herself credit for.
“Wooing you sounds super romantic,” Hunny replied softly, drawing Nessa from her thoughts. “What do you think he means by that?”
“Hm? Oh. I don’t know. I assumed he meant going on dates.” She cocked her head to the side. “Does it mean something else in the shifter world?”
Hunny wrinkled her nose. “Dating isn’t really a thing in our world, I guess. I mean, it happens, obviously. We go out together and such. But we can scent if someone is interested in us, so that kind of eliminates the need for dating and wooing.”
“Wait, so you all just smell that someone is interested in you sexually, and then …” Nessa trailed off, unsure of how to finish her sentence. She almost clapped her hands together, as if that was in any way some kind of sexual indication.
“And then we have sex with them.” Hunny nodded, confirming her suspicion.
“When we all know there is a true mate out there somewhere, starting a relationship with someone else isn’t typically done unless there are extenuating circumstances.
But everyone still has urges, so casual sex is a lot more common in our society. ”
“Oh, wow. That’s … good to know,” Nessa finished, a thought intruding unbidden. Before she could resist the urge, she asked, “So what does it smell like when someone’s interested in you? I mean, is it just like”—she pointed toward her crotch—“more potent down there? Or is it something else?”
Hunny’s lips twitched. “More potent?”
Nessa balked. “You know what I mean.”
“I guess ‘potent’ is a good word for it. Desire carries a scent, just like every emotion. It smells like sex, yes, but it’s deeper than that. It’s sweeter. More intense.”
“Isn’t that weird for you? I mean, knowing two people want to bone each other with just a whiff of your nose?”
Nessa couldn’t imagine having that ability and knowing when a loved one was about to get it on with someone else.
The rabbit shifter laughed before shaking her head.
“Not really. Having such a strong sense of smell is so natural to me, I think my brain just processes the scents as more of an afterthought than anything else. It’s kind of like when you’re driving.
You see different cars every day, but you’re so used to it, they don’t really register unless you’re looking for a specific make and model. ”
Oh. “That makes a lot of sense, actually.”
“Yeah—” Hunny’s head whipped toward the front door as she stilled.
The movement was unexpected, and immediately Nessa was vigilant, the past rushing back toward her at breakneck speed.
A second later, Hunny relaxed, and Nessa felt like she could breathe again.
“Sounds like we’re about to have company. Some bears are here to see Murphy.”
She followed Hunny’s gaze to the front door. “Friends, I hope?”
“Oh, yeah.” Hunny smiled, picking up another puzzle piece. “You’re okay with guests, right? I know after everything, you’ve kept your distance, but these are good people. I think you’ve met one, if not all, of them before at your teahouse.”
Vaguely, Nessa recalled the men Murphy and Tank had brought with them for that meeting with Jason, but their faces were blurry, and aside from Marcus, she didn’t remember any names.
“If you don’t want them in here, I’ll tell Tank I don’t want any visitors,” Hunny offered lowly. “Though, from what I’m hearing, Murphy’s mom Tabitha is here, too, and I don’t know if turning her away is a good call. She was your doctor after the attack.”
“Right. I …” Nessa trailed off, anxiety clawing up her throat.
She swallowed thickly, but it did little to help the tension coursing through her.
The last time she’d met Murphy’s mom, she’d essentially given her the silent treatment, too lost in her own head and pain to do much else than feel sorry for herself. Would his mom hold that against her?
She hoped not. But what if she made another bad impression and Tabitha thought she was a terrible choice of partner for Murphy? What if they all did?
Nessa opened her mouth to answer but barely managed to utter a small squeak of discomfort before the front door burst open, several people stepping into the entryway of Hunny’s cabin.
She caught sight of Murphy, standing out among the rest. As his eyes met hers, a small smile playing on his lips, some of her tension eased, and the tight grip on her throat loosened, allowing her to take a steadying breath.
A small woman pushed him aside a second later, stepping into the house and moving toward the table Ness and Hunny occupied at a quick pace. Nessa recognized her immediately, and her anxiety spiked right back up.
Tabitha pushed into her space, standing so close it was impossible to miss the slight wrinkles on her face or the flecks of brown in her green eyes. The older woman stared down at Nessa intently, as if she were judging every nuance of her features.
Did she find her lacking? Did she know about her and Murphy dating and disapprove?
“Oh, it’s so wonderful to see you again, dear!” Tabitha exclaimed, throwing her arms around Nessa in a … well, a bear hug. She tugged her up from her seat, swaying aggressively back and forth.
Shocked, Nessa didn’t know what else to do, so she awkwardly hugged her back, staring at Murphy in bewilderment over his mother’s shoulder.