Chapter One #2
“Aww, but Jace isn’t going to bed,” Kaylee whined and gestured at me.
Olivia’s eyes roamed over my body, and I felt my temperature rise several degrees.
It was clear I hadn’t planned to sit around the house tonight.
She knew my at-home attire consisted of gray sweatpants and white T-shirts, not ripped jeans and tight shirts.
After a long day at the office in a suit and tie, I usually wanted to wear the most comfortable clothing possible at home.
Putting effort into my look meant I was likely going out with an intention to hook up. Which is precisely what I was doing tonight.
“Do you have a date?” Olivia asked, looking disappointed.
I never hid that I went out and hooked up from her.
In fact, I usually told her about my hookups because they were always meaningless and talking to her was the easiest thing in the world.
Information poured out of me way too easily when we were together and she seemed to enjoy hearing about her single friend’s adventures since she hadn’t dated since Kaylee was born.
There was a small part of me that hoped that when she did decide to start dating, my openness would prompt her to give me a heads up so I wasn’t blindsided when she fell in love with someone else.
I got the sense that she wished she could go out too.
She was usually home with Kaylee in the mornings and then her mom took Kaylee during her shifts at the bar.
Occasionally, I’d pick up Kaylee from Olivia’s mom when I got out of work and bring her here to hang out.
Either way, Olivia usually left the bar and went straight home to put Kaylee to bed before doing it all again the next day.
She was a devoted, single mom, making it all work, and leaving herself no time to enjoy her own life in the process.
“No date,” I said. “I’m just going to Fusion.”
She nodded with a small smile. “Well, have fun.”
“One of these nights, you’re going to have to come with me,” I said, shooting her a carefree grin—as if the mere suggestion of going out with her didn’t send my pulse raising.
I usually went out a few nights a week. The alternative was coming home to my empty apartment where the isolated feeling of being fifteen and alone in the world curled around me in the dark.
I was more than thirty and still alone every night.
For years, I’d wanted it that way, but since working through my abandonment fears in therapy, I was ready for something real.
Yet I still went to Fusion—my favorite queer bar in Boston—and hooked up with people I never intended to see again because the person I wanted something real with was standing right in front of me and I clearly hadn’t gotten over my fear of abandonment quite enough to tell her how often I thought about her.
Olivia sighed. “Honestly, I might take you up on that pretty soon.”
Yes, please. Did I mention it could be a date?
“I talked to Jackson and Adrian today about switching to a day shift,” she continued.
“They still don’t have anything available, and with Kaylee starting preschool in a couple weeks, I really don’t think I can work these hours anymore.
I’ll never see her if she’s at school during the day and I’m here in the evenings. ”
I stepped closer to her, out of the way of a waitress walking to the kitchen.
“I’m sorry, Liv,” I said, running a hand through my hair. “I know you were hoping it would work out.”
“They tried,” she said, adjusting Kaylee on her hip.
Kaylee played with Olivia’s long brown locks.
“There isn’t any option that won’t mess up someone else’s schedule, and I don’t want to do that.
Adrian even told me he’d offer me a manager position if he had one open, which would be perfect because I’d love that, but everyone loves working for him, so that’s never going to happen. ”
I put my hand on her upper arm. “Are you really going to leave Harrison’s then? I can’t imagine this place without you.”
Her throat bobbed as she swallowed. “I don’t want to. But you’re moving out and it was never going to be the same for me without you here. It just seems like the right time. Maybe I’ll finally use my business degree.”
If you stop working here and I move out, what the hell is going to happen to us? Isn’t this how friends drift apart? When their lives no longer overlap as conveniently as ours do right now?
Olivia absentmindedly stroked Kaylee’s hair while I came up with the world’s best, or worst, idea. “What kind of job are you looking for?” I asked.
She pursed her lips. “Since my goal is simply to get a daytime job as fast as possible I’m not expecting to find my dream job right away.
Something that could lead to a better opportunity eventually would be nice, but I’ve never really known how I wanted to use my degree.
It’s why staying in bartending was so easy for me.
Plus, I really do love it here. I genuinely like waitressing. ”