Chapter Two #2
“I have two bi moms. They never once assumed I was straight, so I had no reason to tell them I was bi. They figured it out when they saw who I was dating.”
“Wow. That sounds like the dream.” I chuckled.
He smiled fondly, his eyes conveying deep affection for them. “Being adopted by them was the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Well, let’s just say my parents are absolutely not the best thing to ever happen to me,” I said, looking down at the bar.
Jace put a hand on my knee and electricity surged through me. “I’m sorry to hear that, Kayden. I can relate. My bio parents were pretty terrible too.”
I looked down at my knee and then back at his face. I might have more in common with this gorgeous man than I’d thought, but I wasn’t going to unpack my trauma or his over our first drink. I may be awkward at talking to strangers, but I’m not socially inept.
“How’d you know I was either experimenting or in the closet?” I asked.
Jace let go of my knee and I tried to mask my disappointment as he returned his hand to his beer bottle, spinning it on the bar as he met my eyes again. “You seemed surprised to be hit on. You’re too attractive to be that surprised unless it’s something new for you.”
“I’ve certainly never been hit on by someone as out of my league as you,” I said. “I’m more of an app-based dater. It allows me to hide my inability to make small talk much better.”
Jace chuckled and smirked at me again. “I think you’re doing just fine. I’m certainly not going anywhere unless you ask me to.”
I smiled flirtatiously, all on my own, without having to tell me body what to do. Yes, Kayden, you can do this.
“I don’t want you to go anywhere.”
“Good.” He took another sip of beer. “And if I invited you back to my place for another drink, would you be willing to take your awkward-small-talk skills somewhere more private?”
A grin spread across my face. “I’m way better in private. Especially because we don’t have to talk at all.”
Not talking is a whole lot better for me.
“I have a place four blocks away. But it’s cool if you want to grab a room or go back to your place. Whatever your normal bar-hookup situation is works for me,” Jace said.
I never even considered that. Do people have a standard for this? I didn’t like bringing people into my space. It was full of books and things that screamed nerdom for all to hear. Plus, heading back to my place felt way too intimate for what was clearly a one-night stand.
“Do I seem like the kind of guy who has a normal bar-hookup situation?” I asked with a chuckle. “You’re my first bar pickup. And I’m pretty sure you’re picking me up. Your place is fine with me.”
“I’m definitely picking you up.” Jace moved his hand closer to mine on the bar and his pinky finger grazed mine lightly. “I’m glad I’m your first. I hope it hasn’t been too awful for you so far.”
I licked my bottom lip and looked at his mouth. I really want to kiss him. He was so sexy and confident, it made my dick twitch again. “I was about to leave before you sat down.”
“I noticed,” he said, leaning close and speaking into my ear. “You’re sexy as hell, Kayden. I’m glad I got to you before you took off or someone else snatched you up for the night.”
I shook my head, heat rising to my cheeks as I fought a smile. “You’re a little ridiculous, you know.”
“Maybe you just underestimate your appeal.” Jace covered my hand with his. “Let’s go before you start to doubt that my interest is legitimate.”
How does he read me like that?
He whispered in my ear, “You spend a lot of time in your head, don’t you?”
I nodded, too consumed by the warmth of his breath on my neck to form words.
“What are you thinking right now?” he asked.
I hesitated. My brain swirled with thoughts and noise almost all the time.
Most of the things I thought were too much to share out loud.
Most people didn’t understand why I was worried about whether the bar glasses had been cleaned properly, where the emergency exit was, or if I’d already said the wrong thing and the person I was talking to was about to walk away.
It was just one of the many curses my father’s abuse had bestowed upon me.
It’s hard not to develop generalized anxiety and believe the world is a dangerous place when the people who are supposed to protect you the most when you’re a kid decide to hurt you instead.
“You can tell me,” Jace said quietly, patiently. “I won’t judge you.”
I turned to meet his eyes. “I want to kiss you because I’m very attracted to you. But that’s probably too forward even for what this clearly is, and if I kiss you and you change your mind about leaving, it will validate my fear that I’m not capable of picking someone up in a bar.”
Jace looked at my lips and leaned closer. “You’re very capable, and I’m going to kiss you now because I don’t want you to worry about it anymore.”
I opened my mouth to respond, to tell him that he didn’t have to take away the fear, that I could handle it.
I’d had a decade of therapy to manage my own anxiety—not that I was going to draw attention to that detail tonight.
Before I could say anything, Jace’s lips grazed mine in a whisper of a kiss, and the tingling down my spine had nothing to do with my anxiety and everything to do with arousal.
I lifted a hand to his cheek, his facial hair rough in my hand, and pulled his mouth harder against mine, wanting to feel more of him.
He deepened the kiss for just a moment before pulling back and smiling at me.
“Thank you,” I said.
He pressed one more gentle kiss to my lips. “You still want to take this somewhere more private?”
“Yes, please,” I said, standing up before I could find something else to worry about.
Jace dropped cash on the bar and turned toward me, offering me his hand.
I slid my fingers into his and tried to convince myself that the accelerated heart rate I was experiencing had nothing to do with my desire to impress this guy tonight and everything to do with excitement.
Who am I kidding? I want to impress the hell out of him, and I’m excited to do it.