Chapter Fifty-Three
Jace
I looked up at the sound of feet hitting the pavement close to where I sat and saw Kayden and Olivia headed straight for me.
I hadn’t gone far; I’d needed air more than a walk.
I knew Olivia was afraid, and for some reason, instead of being able to support her, my own fear flared up and I’d felt like I was suffocating in that room.
I hadn’t loved someone enough to trigger my fear of abandonment in a long time.
As if I didn’t already know how much I loved these two, that was a crystal-clear sign.
“I’m sorry,” I said, looking down at the ground and taking a deep breath as they each sat on either side of me.
“I shouldn’t have reacted that way. You have a right to question things.
I just got so afraid of the look in your eyes, Liv.
I really will break my own heart to see you both happy, but that’s not even remotely what I want for us.
I’m terrified that I’ll lose you because I know if I lose one of you, I’ll lose you all.
And I really don’t want to be alone again, not after feeling what I feel when I’m with you. ”
Kayden wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “You’re never going to be alone again, Jace. I promise.”
“Me too,” Liv said. “You’re allowed to need something from us too, and right now you need reassurance that when we get scared, we’re going to get through it together, right?”
I nodded and looked between them.
Kayden kissed my cheek and rested his forehead against the side of my head.
“Jace, I love you. We both love you. There isn’t an us without you.
Do you think we’d even be here right now if it weren’t for you?
You’re the anchor that keeps us all together, babe.
We don’t just love you; we need you. We’d be incomplete without you. ”
Olivia nodded. “He’s right. I’d never be happy if you left us because you thought it was what’s best for us.
You’re what’s best for us. The three of us together.
Maybe it’ll never make sense to everyone else but it makes sense to us and that’s all that matters.
Even though I am scared about how to make this work for Kaylee, I’m not interested in any scenario where the three of us don’t figure out how to make this work. Always.”
She wrapped her arms around my neck, and I felt the tension slowly release from my body. She lifted her head and Kayden reached into his pocket and handed me the drawing I’d made inside with Kaylee. “Is this a tattoo design?” he asked.
“Yeah, but I doodle hundreds that I never actually ink on my body, so if you’re opposed to your names on my skin, it can just be a doodle,” I said.
“The opposite, actually,” Kayden said as he handed me a pencil. “Can you sketch two more just like it? With your name paired with each of ours?”
I looked between them and Olivia nodded. I smiled and took a blank piece of paper from him, using Liv’s back as a surface to do what he’d requested. It only took a few minutes, and I handed the paper back to Kayden when I finished. He grinned and showed it to Olivia.
“Kayden said you have a specific tattoo artist you’re friends with,” Olivia said.
“I do. Matt’s used to me showing up with my own designs. Doesn’t even get offended. In fact, I think it pleases him that I trust him with them,” I said.
“Think he could squeeze us all in tonight?” Kayden asked.
I laughed. “I’m sorry, did you swap bodies with other people tonight? Because that might be more plausible than the two of you sitting in front of me telling me that you want to get matching tattoos.”
“Think of this as our marriage proposal to you,” Kayden said. “I want to spend my life with both of you. Always. By getting this tattooed on my body, I promise to never let either of you question that commitment.”
I smirked at him, joy filling my heart at the gesture and the promise. “Kayd, you can’t ask fifty questions about his sterilization process without offending him.”
“I know,” he said, clearly fighting his natural instinct to do just that. “I really think a ring would be a lot easier, but that can be taken off. This can’t. I belong to the two of you forever, and if that means I die of an infection in three weeks, at least you’ll know I was serious.”
I laughed and turned to Olivia. “And what about you, sweetheart?”
“I will probably pass out,” she said confidently.
“But I also never want you to think I’m not committed to the three of us.
The two of you are the best things that have ever happened to me.
Kayden gave me Kaylee, you gave me everything for years, and you’ve both made me feel more loved than I ever thought possible.
I’m in this forever and nothing will prove that more than being stuck with a thousand needles for you. ”
I tossed my arm around her and pulled her to my side as I kissed her head.
“It’s one needle, a thousand pricks,” I said.
“I think the less we talk about it between here and when it starts, the better,” she said, cringing.
“I love you both,” I said, kissing each of them. “Should I call Matt and ask him to marry us in our own special way? Because if you put my name on your skin, you’re never getting rid of me. I’m yours forever.”
They both laughed.
“We never want to get rid of you,” Kayden said.
Olivia smiled. “None of us will ever be alone again. Just like you wrote.” She pointed to the text in the sketch.
“Okay, let’s do this. What about Kaylee?” I said as we all stood up.
“My cousin is going to keep her in the bridal suite upstairs for the night. We’ll pick her up at breakfast,” Olivia said. “Now, can we go? I already feel like I’m in a cold sweat.”
I laughed and they led the way to my car as I called Matt and warned him about the very nervous people I’d be bringing in for their first tattoos.
I lay down in the tattoo chair and handed Matt the drawings.
He ran a hand through his dark hair, his own ink covering both of his arms and showing through his white tank top.
“I love how simple and sick your drawings are, man,” he said, looking it over.
“Where are we putting this one? Are you all getting them in the same place?”
“Yeah, we are,” I said. We’d decided that in the car, though a location had not been selected.
I pulled off my shirt and looked at the ink expanding from one side of my chest to the other and down one side of my ribs.
I’d never had a desire to ink my arms; I liked that my chest was my own personal canvas and people only saw it if I wanted them to.
It made the personal drawings feel like they stayed personal, like the world didn’t get to see the images I’d chosen and ask me about them.
I looked at Kayden and Olivia who were both sitting in chairs looking tense as hell as they gripped each other’s hands. “Maybe you two shouldn’t watch.”
“No, it’ll help me to see the process,” Kayden said. “If I know what’s going to happen, I’m less likely to become anxious.”
Olivia swallowed thickly. “I might throw up. Do people usually throw up in here?”
Matt turned away from his setup and narrowed his eyes at me. “How nervous is your girl?”
“She cried when she got her flu shot,” Kayden said calmly.
Matt tilted his head, giving me a look of disbelief. “Jace,” he warned, shaking his head.
“What?” Olivia asked, voice tight with fear. “Can I still get one? I really want it! Please. You can keep going if I cry.”
Matt chuckled. “Listen, I keep whiskey back here for people like you. I’d suggest you get started while I work on Jace.” He pulled a bottle out of a cabinet and tossed it to her before pointing to a row of shot glasses on the shelf above her.
Olivia poured herself a shot and downed it before pouring another and sitting down to sip it.
“Did you decide?” Matt asked, looking ready to start.
“Yeah,” I said, locking eyes with Kayden. I pointed to the divot on my left hip, thinking of Kayden’s scar. “Right here. Does that work for you, Liv?”
“Yes, I love that,” she said, squeezing Kayden’s hand again as she finished her second shot.
“Thank you, babe,” Kayden said with an appreciative smile.
Olivia poured herself a third shot as Matt started drawing the tattoo on my hip.
“Uh, Matt, how much of that are we letting her have?” I asked.
“How long till she’s tipsy?” he asked.
“Usually two glasses of wine.”
“Yeah, then we better slow her down.” He took the bottle from her, and she smiled proudly at him as she sipped the third shot.
Matt showed me his sketch, and I nodded in approval.
It was perfect. He fired up the tattoo gun and the warm, tingly sensations of pain and pleasure washed over me.
It wasn’t long before my dick stirred like it always did during tattoos.
I never failed to get aroused at the pain-and-pleasure combo of the process.
It was another reason why I kept the same tattoo artist. Less judgment.
Matt shook his head as my dick grew, noticeably lengthening in my suit pants. “You two know your man gets off on pain, right?”
Kayden raised an eyebrow with wide eyes. “This is an interesting development.”
Matt laughed. “Happens every fucking time I tat him. He’s not the only one, but he is the most consistent.”
I ran a hand through my hair and watched the needle doing its thing as I shrugged.
“Arousal will not be happening to me,” Olivia said, eyes locked on my erection like she couldn’t even begin to understand it as she tossed back the rest of her shot. “Though it is quite fascinating how different our reactions to needles are.”
Kayden took the empty shot glass from her and set it aside, both of them watching raptly as Matt finished my tattoo, letting them get a good look before he covered it with white gauze.