Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
BLAKE
Nerves wrack my entire body, being in a room full of people I don’t know.
The only reason I’m here is because of the case, and for the first time, I’m now regretting being on it.
Standing here nursing my glass of wine with no one to talk to feels awkward and uncomfortable.
I should be networking, talking to prospective clients, but I don’t have it in me tonight.
Things with Theo have been terse, to say the least. We’ve been at each other’s throats and not in a good way. I’m exhausted both mentally and physically, and I’d rather be anywhere than here right now.
The doors open, and my gaze drifts over, hopefully to see someone I know, but when they walk through, I wish it had been more strangers because Theo strolls in, his hair down and a grin on his face.
If I’d allow them to, my knees would have buckled under how good he looks in his suit.
James follows closely next to him, and my god, has that man aged well.
He always intimidated me—he was freaking hot—but I liked the guy.
Two other men I don’t recognize stand with him, their auras sucking all the air out of the room.
There isn’t a single woman here who doesn’t eye them with lust.
Shuffling on my feet, I lower my gaze. The submissive move is unlike me, but as I said, I’m exhausted, and the minute he sees me, he’ll use it as an excuse to torture me more than he already has.
So I step back out of the way, watching people interact and listening in on conversations they don’t realize I’m hearing.
So far, Jenni from accounting is having an affair with her co-worker, and he wants her to leave her husband, but she’s refusing. I mean, if you don’t love the guy… why don’t you just leave? I roll my eyes at the pair of them before moving onto the next person.
“The sheriff is ready to pick her up. I want it dealt with as quickly as possible. No one is to know. Get her when she goes to the bathroom or something.”
My back straightens as I listen to an older woman on the phone.
I’ve never seen her before, but her conversation doesn’t fill me with much confidence.
I don’t want to ignore it, but I also don’t have anything else to go on.
The inner lawyer in me screams to keep listening, but she walks off, taking her conversation with her.
An hour passes by, but it feels like an eternity. My back is protesting, and my feet ache from standing in one position for too long, but I see Frank and Michael headed my way, so I straighten my spine and plaster a smile on my face.
“Blake, why are you standing over here?” Frank asks. “The senator wants an update.”
Michael frowns, which doesn’t do him any favors.
He’s a man who is definitely looking his sixty-six years.
His suit pulls tightly around his portly frame, and I wonder if he’s ever heard of a tailor.
His short hair is white, not a hint of any color, and I watch as his beady eyes take me in.
If the ground could swallow me up, that would be great.
“Oh, I was, um, getting a drink. I was just on my way to find Theo,” I reply, feeling like an idiot. This evening is going from bad to worse.
Frank and Michael turn on their expensive heels, weaving through the crowd. I follow behind them, knowing I’m about to walk into the lion's den. They stop in front of Theo, disrupting his conversation with James and his tall, dark-haired, blue-eyed friend.
Good lord, are all of his friends this good-looking?
Theo doesn’t bother to glance in my direction, giving pleasantries to everyone but me. After Frank tells Theo that the senator wants an update, I fall into step with him, crossing the vast room to find him.
“Couldn’t have covered up a bit more?” Theo sneers, his tone low enough for only me to hear.
“Don’t look then,” I snap, suddenly feeling self-conscious. When it comes to other men, or any person for that matter, I’ve never cared. I am who I am, and I won’t apologize for it, but with Theo? I’ve always cared what he thought.
“Can’t help but look when you’re practically falling out of your dress.”
“Wow, I wondered when the sexist remarks would come out. It’s not enough that you’ve tried to sabotage me, now we’re using the sex card?
I have a vagina and tits, Theo, big deal.
Doesn’t mean I’m not as good as you are,” I hiss, quickening my pace and wondering why the hell the room seems a mile long.
“You’ll never be as good as me,” he grits out. “I have a heart, you don’t.”
I can’t help it, I laugh. “You? Have a heart? You up and leave people without so much as a goodbye. There’s nothing good about you. You’re just like every man out there—useless and a waste of time and effort.”
“Sounds like you’re bitter and twisted, firefly. Surprising any man would go near you,” he drawls, matching my pace.
Thankfully, we reach the senator who’s standing with his wife, Meghan. I keep quiet while the men talk, watching everyone’s body language and what they’re not saying.
You can always tell a lot about how a person reacts to news—how their body instantly stiffens if you say something they don’t like or something you shouldn’t know about, how their tone of voice changes when they’re trying to lie, how they pass it off as a joke when in reality they’re terrified on the inside.
None of that happens though. Theo, however, is wound up tighter than a car toy about to whizz across the room. Is it because of the conversation we’ve just had? Because I shouldn’t care. I don’t care.
We stand with the senator for a few minutes before he’s ushered off to meet other attendees. The walls feel like they’re clawing at me, so I make my excuses and head to the women’s bathroom, needing some space.
I find it easily enough, doing what I need to do before heading back out into the gala. A hand clamps down on my arm just as I’m about to cross the threshold into the ballroom, and I bite back a scream when I’m pushed back against a wall, the breath knocked out of me.
“You’re really starting to piss me off,” Theo growls, his tone low and his breath hot on my face.
“And this is getting to be harassment,” I retort, my heart pounding from the near fright I experienced. “For someone who hates me, you seem to like seeking me out an awful lot. What does that say about you? Hmm?”
His hand comes up to cup my jaw, gentle yet firm, and I hate how my body reacts to him. I’m soaked, my clit throbbing and needy for him.
“I’m only seeking you out to tell you to leave Sampson and Lowell. You’re not wanted here,” he hisses.
“I’m not wanted by you, Theo. There’s a difference. You can catch me in hallways, shove me up against walls, and threaten me as much as you like… I’m. Not. Leaving.”
Theo’s pupils dilate, the iris almost completely black as he stands there, chest to my chest, both of us breathing heavily. Then an idea hits me.
“Makes me wonder if you don’t actually hate me at all, but in fact want me,” I purr, rubbing my nose across his bearded chin.
“You want me in ways you know you can’t have, and it's driving you insane.” His body stiffens, the hand on my face gripping just that bit tighter. “Admit it, big guy, you still want me.”
Ripping his hand away, he moves back. “In no world will I ever want you,” he snaps, but I can see the uncertainty in his eyes, like he doesn’t believe his own lie either.
“Good. I’m glad we understand each other,” I reply, brushing my hands down my dress to hide my sweaty palms. “Don’t ever put your hands on me again.”
“You think I care about what you think?” he snaps, the mask slamming down on his face and removing all emotion.
“Yeah, actually, I do,” I retort angrily. “And it kills you that little bit more each time I don’t fawn all over you the way I used to.”
He scoffs. “I’d have to care about you for that to happen.”
“That’s the problem, though, isn’t it, Theo? You still care. You just won’t admit it. But I’m not some toy in a twisted game. I’m a human being with thoughts and feelings.” My voice cracks on the last few words.
How can I get him to understand I don’t want any of this?
I don’t want him hating me, but I also don’t want him around me.
What’s done is done. I can’t change it any more than he can.
My brain is awash with so many different scenarios, none of them ending up in my favor, not to mention the fantasy I’ve secretly replayed in my head every night before going to sleep.
“I want you to leave,” he says, his tone laced with venom.
“And I said no, I’m not going to be pushed out. I deserve to be here,” I snap, my patience hanging on by a thread. “You stick to your side of the office, and I’ll stick to mine. I’ve done the majority of the work as it is, so it’s not like I need your help.”
He swipes a hand through his hair, glancing away. If he thinks I’m going to back down, he’s sorely mistaken. I will never back down when it comes to him. I’ve earned my place.
Without another word, he walks off. I know I’ve won this battle for now, but I honestly don’t know how much more of him I can take. And it’s not like I can complain about his behavior, even if we are acting like children half the time.
I watch as he stalks down the hallway, his back ramrod straight and his feet hitting the floor like he’s taking his frustration out on it. I exhale deeply and wait a few minutes before following.
Passing a server as I walk back into the hall, I grab a glass of champagne, trying to calm my racing heart. I practically swallow back half the glass in one go, my hands shaking as I scan the room.
Everyone is either drunk or completely bored at this point, the alcohol well and truly in everyone’s system as they enjoy their night. I only wish I could enjoy it too. It’s not very often I go out, and this seems like a complete waste of time.
Feeling defeated, I know I need to leave.
Putting the glass on a side table, I make my way to the entrance to hail a taxi.
As I stand waiting, a young girl rushes past, her red hair and dress catching my eye.
I don’t pay much attention until James, Theo, and the other gentleman they were with run past.
“Raven,” James calls.
I step into the corridor, watching as they chase after this Raven girl. Was she the redhead who ran past?
My taxi arrives, preventing me from thinking about what happened or why Theo was chasing another woman. Sliding into the cab, I shake it off, knowing for tonight, it’s not my problem.