Chapter 5
Chapter
Five
Dhara
Acold sweat broke out on my skin the moment I left work today. Standing at the bus stop waiting for Gavin nearly had me ready to fall over.
Something had shifted. All those months of missed heats and omega reactions were going to take a toll. The last time I went in for heat suppressants my doctor told me I’d need to take a break soon, and, apparently, finding two scent-matches was enough to do that.
I knew my scent was likely affected. Muted was the word the doctor used. Yet both Lachlan and Conrad seemed to recognize it the moment we met.
Seeing them went beyond scents. Lachlan smelled incredible, like blackberry, pine and rain, fresh and sweet and a hint of sharp tartness. Then Conrad with his toasted coconut, rich vanilla, and ocean air. Two contrasting, but equally incredible scents.
I wanted to lean in and run my nose along their skin, breathing it in, even with my brain telling me to run far away, that getting close could ruin everything.
My inner voice was even more conflicted. They felt safe. Like I could let everything go, tell them my worries, and they’d solve them.
Yet, giving up that control was too big of a risk to take.
Gavin bounded down the stairs, jumping off the last step of the bus and hitting the ground with a thud. His backpack was slung over one shoulder and eyes locked onto me as if he had been waiting all day for this.
“Hey, Gav,” I said when he walked up. He started to talk then snapped his mouth shut, those icy blue eyes roaming over me.
“What’s wrong?”
I swear I could never get away with anything anymore. He was far too observant for his own good. Definitely more than any other preteen I knew.
“I’m fine,” I lied quickly. “Just tired.”
He pressed his lips together like he wanted to argue but he knew I was far more stubborn than he was.
“What’s for dinner? I’m starving,” he grumbled instead.
“Didn’t you eat lunch?” He looked away but shrugged. “It wasn’t enough.”
There was something more going on than that. I stopped walking and crossed my arms.
“What happened? Why didn’t you eat?”
“No, it’s fine,” he said stubbornly.
“Gavin,” I argued. “Do I need to start packing you lunch?”
“No,” he growled, more forceful this time. It wasn’t often we butted heads but the older he got, the more it happened. He was still my sweet brother but he wasn’t afraid to push back now. “They just won’t give me the lunch anymore because Mom hasn’t paid.”
I let my eyes fall closed and took a deep breath. This was one of the last few things that our mother was supposed to handle and yet here she was, dropping the ball again.
It was me that filled our fridge, kept our lights on, gave her spending money, paid every fucking bill but this one.
She didn’t even have the care or decency to let me handle it.
“Come on, we’ll stop at the food trucks,” I said as I pasted a smile on my face. “I’ll handle the school tomorrow morning and pack you a lunch tomorrow while we straighten it out.”
“I don’t want you to have to handle it,” he argued. “She should be doing this. She’s my fucking mom.”
“Language,” I said half-heartedly. If anyone deserved to curse right now it was my brother who was let down yet again.
He didn’t say anything to that as we walked down the road to the food truck park. It wasn’t far from the arena, and thankfully everything we did was nearby. It made not having a car of my own a whole lot easier.
My mind was going over the mental math, wondering if this would set us back too far. Mom was always demanding the extras. I managed to squirrel enough away to get us out of here as soon as I could, but I hated dipping into it.
If she found it… there would be hell to pay.
“I made extra, don’t worry about money, just eat,” I promised Gavin as he eyed the options around us. It didn’t matter. He went for the burger and fries truck, I had to order him cheese for his fries and a drink.
I doubled what Gavin got, knowing if I didn’t he’d see right through the worries that never stopped haunting me.
When we sat at one of the picnic tables he popped a fry in his mouth and watched me as he chewed. His blue eyes were full of questions and I knew where this was going.
“Did Conrad come to see you today?” was the question he landed on. I finished my bite and took a sip of my soda before answering.
“No. It was a coincidence.”
He ate another few bites before hitting me again.
“So, why were he and his friend being weird after you helped them?” he demanded. “Don’t lie to me, Dhara.”
“Their behavior isn’t anything to do with me,” I said, lying anyway. Or at the very least, skating around the truth.
“You have scent-matches, don’t you?”
Fuck, he was way too observant.
“They are, but that doesn’t mean we’re in a relationship,” I said quickly.
“Why not? They’re successful and Conrad seems nice,” he argued. Of course, he’s not going to let this go. His sister is scent-matched with his hockey idol.
“Because I’m not exactly a catch, Gavin,” I said on a sigh. “Our life is complicated and I won’t leave you. So, don’t interfere.”
“You can leave, Dhara,” he said quietly. “I’m older now. She can’t do anything.”
“You’re a minor for six more years,” I said. My stomach churned. This wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have when I felt like garbage. “She could take you away from here. I know you don’t want me to have to do this, but I need to. I want to. I won’t let her put you through anything else.”
“She hits you,” he said as he glared down at his plate, blinking his eyes a few times.
“I can handle it.” So she doesn’t hit you was left unsaid.
Maybe I wasn’t handling our situation the best that I could, but what choice did I have? Every wrong move was a risk that she’d rip this all away. The authorities didn’t give a fuck.
It was us against the world. Same as it had always been.
The one time I let someone in he made sure to fuck it up. My neighbor during high school was a delta that always made sure I felt seen. I’d spent years making myself invisible and day one of living next to me he saw me and pulled me right into his orbit.
He was rough around the edges, the kind of boy most parents warned against, but he was my best friend.
While it lasted.
He and his dad made it as our neighbor for six months before we became inseparable, and then they moved away. Mom had literally locked me inside while they moved and I found out years later he tried to see me.
She threw it in my face and laughed when I was hurt. Told me she used one of her sketchy connections to land him a job states away.
Just like that I was invisible again.
It hurt too much and for too long to ever let anyone like that in again.
We were friends, until we crossed that line. He was my one and only love, even if it never had a chance to get very deep. I had found my peace with that.
Conrad and Lachlan were amazing, but if I gave her a chance, they’d be gone, too.
It was safest this way. Alone and focused on what mattered.
The mood was ruined after that conversation so we finished in silence before heading for the arena. He had practice and I had a job to do after.
Gavin shoved into the doors and disappeared inside, his entire demeanor angry at the world. I hoped he managed to get out of his head before practice.
Knowing I was in for a wait I settled into the bleachers with the parents, tucking myself in the back behind some tall dads that I hoped blocked me from view. Conrad and Lachlan were supposed to be here tonight and I didn’t think I could handle another encounter.
My suppressors were wearing off or clearly not working, my scent a mess, my head even messier, and my emotions were haywire.
The boys skated out onto the ice. The coach and assistant coaches, aka the real AHA Renegades he recruited to help, were there to greet them.
They always huddled together and I couldn’t help but study the two men who were already by Gavin’s side.
Conrad glanced over the crowd with a frown, his handsome face more stoic tonight than it’d been the last two encounters. Guilt bubbled up at that. I’d been the one to cause that.
Lachlan refused to look over. His body was tense and he seemed to hang back while the others interacted with the kids more.
My lip was practically raw where I was chewing on it. This whole thing had my insides twisting and I wished this was a different world.
A different life.
What I said to Gavin was true. They didn’t want me. I was an omega who’d been on suppressors since she presented, had a preteen to take care of, a witch of a mother to keep happy, and worked too many jobs.
A shrill whistle echoed out, startling me. Coach was waving over a new player and the kids who had been running drills on the ice.
The man was lithe and graceful on his skates. I couldn’t make out his features but the kids were already freaking out so he must have been another well-known player.
For the first time tonight Gavin looked my way, his eyes wide and excited. The guy turned and followed his gaze and the world stopped.
It was him. August Steele was here.
I was moving before I realized what I was doing. My brain was strangely silent as I navigated down the bleachers and right up to the glass.
August was moving, too, ignoring the coach and kids and heading for the boards. We moved through the arena until we were finally, face to face.
“It really is you.” His voice was so deep now, his delta presence strong enough to steal my breath. Lime, cedar, and basil tempted me as it swirled between us.
For the first time in years, my own scent answered in kind, perfuming between us. His eyes widened as it hit him. My brown sugar, cinnamon, and warm spices scent mixed with his fresh and tart scent, mixing into something mouth watering and all consuming.
“August.” The pain in my voice had him moving, pulling me closer until he was holding me off the ground, arms squeezing me tight.
“I should have known you were mine,” he said. His own voice was choked with emotion. “You have been for years.”
“I’m so sorry. Mom locked me inside when you left and I found out later she orchestrated the entire promotion.”
“I know, firecracker,” he said gently. The old nickname hit me right in the chest. The man from my past wasn’t just a friend.
He was my delta, a scent-match.
Fuck.
He set me back on my feet and I swiped at the tears I didn’t realize were rolling down my cheeks.
“Wait,” he said, glancing at the ice then back at me. “Why are you here? Do you have a kid? A pack?”
Now the pain in his voice mirrored mine.
“Gavin,” I said simply. My brother was young back then, only about five.
“Then where’s your mom?” he asked carefully. I looked away from him, afraid of what he’d find on my face.
“She’s still around. I live there so I can keep an eye on him.” Such an understatement for the level of shit I went through daily.
“I should have come back sooner,” he said, pulling me in again. “I left you with her.”
“I’m fine,” I lied, glancing up at his face. He looked so different now. His eyebrows were darker, he’d gauged his ears, the black circles making his dark hair and green eyes stand out. Tattoos decorated his skin and his jawline was as sharp as ever.
He was gorgeous. Put together and successful, everything I’d never had a chance to be.
“You’re not fine, but you’re going to be, firecracker.”