Chapter 13 #2
I didn’t do enough to make sure that he felt secure in our relationship. He needed me not to hide him and I wasn’t ready. I was still too afraid to let my family go.
We had the illusion that if we wanted something badly enough, then it would just happen for us. That we shouldn’t have to work hard to make things work out.
How wrong we were.
We walked through the halls toward the lobby. The silence between us was downright painful. It was loaded, like a ticking time bomb, each second bringing us closer to an explosion.
A soft bark had Greer picking up his pace, some of the tension in his shoulders easing as he moved closer to the sound.
He knocked on a door just outside the lobby. The barks grew louder, and then a big ball of black-and-brown fluff launched itself at him.
He caught the puppy, nuzzling into its neck and giving it attention before turning to the woman waiting on the other side of the door.
“How did he do?”
“Oh, you know Chorizo. Full of energy, but he’s been great,” she promised with a small laugh. “And he’s already had dinner, so it’s about time to get him on a walk.”
She turned around and grabbed something, then handed over the leash.
The ringing in my ears was even louder now.
Chorizo. That name was mine.
Somehow, I managed to hold it together until we were outside. Then I found myself stepping in front of him without a conscious decision, stopping his walk before it could start.
“Chorizo?” I demanded. The dog barked and hopped toward me as if I called him but I couldn’t look away.
Not for the first time tonight, Greer had the decency to look ashamed.
“I know I should’ve done things differently,” he said, rushing out the words. “I’ve regretted walking away every day since I left that house, and I know that doesn’t mean anything to you now.”
“You’re damn fucking right it doesn’t.” Anger came easier than the hurt. “I got disowned from my family for you. I have been on my own every day for years because you walked away the day that I told them about us.”
He froze, jaw dropping. “Rylan. I had no idea.”
He looked even more sick than he had the first time.
“Of course, you didn’t, because you didn’t stick around long enough for me to fix things. You just assumed that I wouldn’t. You didn’t give me a chance.”
“No.” His head snapped up, anger and hurt flaring in his face. “You don’t get to say that to me.”
Some of the fight came back to him now, his cheeks darkening with frustration.
“I begged you to stop hiding our relationship. I told you what it did to me.”
“Which is why I told them!” I shot back.
“You always said you needed more time. If you told me you planned to talk to them, I would have known, but you didn’t say a word.”
Greer’s voice was shaking now with so much emotion that it made my chest ache. The bite mark was starting to flare to life again, burning under my skin as if it had been buried there all this time, dormant and waiting for this moment.
“My career is important to me, but it was never as important as you were. But I never felt like you cared enough to stay with me. To fight for what we had.”
His hands tightened around the leash as Chorizo put up a fight. Roxie gently took the leash and led Chorizo away to do his business while we had this chat. Close enough to offer comfort but giving us space.
“You were more afraid of your family than anything. You didn’t want to leave your home.”
“I loved you,” he said, voice cracking. “But I loved hockey, too. It felt like you wanted me to be something I could never be. Impossible standards that I couldn’t possibly reach.”
Greer looked away and my stomach twisted painfully. When he started talking again his voice was hollow.
“I heard you that day on the phone. I assumed it was with your mother, but she said she wanted to have a dinner that night. She asked if you were finally bringing her home for family dinner the next day, and you said yes. Her, Rylan.”
Shame flooded through me. He was right. I did say yes to my mother. He must have seen the look on my face.
“That’s why I left after work that night. If you’d been home I would have told you everything, but you didn’t come until after midnight. I was asleep.”
I closed my eyes as the memories flashed through me in vivid detail.
“I cried myself to sleep that night. It didn’t go well, just like I knew it wouldn’t.”
“You missed an event that night,” Greer croaked. “One you’d promised to go to. It was important.”
Ice ran through my veins as I looked back up at him. “What?”
“I reminded you about it the day before, and you barely listened to me.” The hurt in his expression was unbearable. How many events had I missed like that? All because I was terrified to lose them when I should have been more afraid of losing him.
“I was just so tired of showing up to things without you. Of pretending like it was fine that my omega didn’t want to be seen in public with me.”
My heart dropped straight into my stomach.
“I’d gotten an award from the AHA for rising star and one for being a team captain.” He swallowed. “There was a big banquet and I had a reserved seat for you. It was the one that you promised me you would go to as my omega.”
There was so much hurt between us. So much pain. Far too many reminders of what we both had wanted and how the other had failed us.
It hurt knowing that I had done this to us, just as much as he did. When he wasn’t around, it was easy to pretend that it was all his fault.
Reality was a fucking bitch.