Chapter 35
April 14, 2024
When I wake up, I’m alone. The discomfort that washes over me is immediate. Like a side stitch when you’re jogging or the feeling of a rock in your shoe.
I sit up, struggling to see in the darkness. Milo’s not next to me, and I hate it.
There’s movement at the foot of the bed. When I look down and see Coco lifting her head and aiming a sleepy stare at me, I feel the slightest bit comforted. At least she’s with me.
She kneads her front paws against the bedsheets before yawning and falling back to sleep. I rest a hand on my chest, and for a second I just sit there and breathe.
I knew this was going to happen. In the two weeks that preceded the solicitor meeting, I saw Milo almost every day. He stayed with me almost every night. But there was a starting point before all that—the moment when he and I went from hardly ever speaking to friends to something more.
I swipe my phone from the nightstand and check the date. It’s the middle of April, which means I’m two months away from Valentine’s Day—the day before I find out that Tristan’s been cheating on me.
The day before my entire life turns upside down.
I sit up in bed as a strange dip hits my stomach. Not excitement, more like anticipation. I know something big is about to happen, but there’s a lot more left to see unfold.
I take a slow, deep breath and crawl out of bed, use the bathroom, then pad out into the living room. When I flip the lights on, I still. The decor in the living room and kitchen are completely different. No more tacky H ELLO , B ABES sign, no more chevron rug in the living room, no more K EEP C ALM AND D RINK T EA sign, no more fuzzy throw pillows, no more sectional. The fireplace is stark white instead of the Mediterranean-style tile.
Most of the decor is gone completely. The only piece I can see is a trio of black-and-white framed landscape photos.
Tristan’s artwork.
It takes several seconds for me to process the sudden change. I haven’t redecorated the flat yet.
Even just standing there looking at the minimalist decor feels wrong. My skin pricks. All the muscles in my body stiffen. Even the air in the room feels off.
This isn’t my flat. It wasn’t even when I lived in it with Tristan. I just moved my stuff in. Everything else stayed the same. I added a couple of framed photos from our wedding, but that was it. Tristan never invited me to add my own pieces or try my hand at redecorating. It was his place, always. I just lived here.
I need to make it mine again, now.
I force myself to walk to the sink and chug a glass of water. Then I call Milo.
The sound of his groggy voice when he picks up snaps me out of my tunnel vision.
“Riley? Everything okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just ...”
I hear the sound of fabric rustling. He’s getting out of bed.
“I’m sorry, Milo. I woke you up, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, but it’s no big deal. Really. It’s nice to hear from you first thing in the morning.”
I can hear the smile in his voice. It softens me instantly. I start to smile too.
“I’m relieved to hear you say that.”
“What’s going on? Need me to run you over some tea since I’ve finally converted you?” He chuckles, which makes me chuckle.
I flip open the cabinet where I normally keep the tea and coffee, but all I see is coffee.
I close the cabinet. “I could definitely use some tea.”
“Say no more.” Milo lets out a soft groan, like he’s stretching. I blink and in the darkness behind my eyelids picture how he looks. His wavy black-brown hair is messy, he’s got a healthy sheet of stubble on his cheeks, and he’s shirtless, wearing nothing but boxers.
My heartbeat kicks up. I miss Milo. I want him here.
“Hey, Riley. Listen.” My stomach drops at the sudden seriousness in his tone.
“What is it?”
He sighs. “I’m not trying to pull one over on you, I swear.”
“I don’t think that at all. What would make you worry about that?”
He doesn’t say anything at first. And then he starts to speak but stops himself.
“I guess I’m still worried about how everything unfolded with Tristan, the things that he said ...”
I wait for him to say more, but he doesn’t.
“Okay,” I finally say.
I’m not sure what Milo is talking about. Does he mean me finding out about Tristan’s affair with Carly? Did he and Tristan fight about something else too?
Before I even have to ask, he speaks. “I just don’t want you to think less of me, Riley. I know I’m not perfect. I’ve messed up a lot, especially when it comes to you.”
I think back to the night we met, when I overheard him on the phone, making that hurtful comment about me. But it doesn’t hurt anymore. Milo explained himself and apologized. He doesn’t know all that yet, not in this timeline, at least. But I know it. And I need to reassure him since he’s clearly still upset with himself over it.
“I think the world of you, Milo. Here you are going out of your way to help me, the ex of your own cousin.”
He exhales sharply. “Just because he’s family doesn’t mean I automatically side with him. I’ve never been like that.”
“I know. And that’s why I admire you. Other people wouldn’t have the strength to go against their own blood, no matter how bad they are. You do. And you’re a gem because of it.”
“Damn,” he says. “Hearing you say that ...” He laughs lightly, like he can’t believe what I just said and is struggling to process it. “That means everything.”
“Just being honest.”
A quiet moment passes. “I’m going to jump in the shower, grab some tea, and be over to your place,” Milo says. “Give me an hour, tops.”
I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. I’m too overwhelmed, too happy, too relieved. Milo is such a sweet guy, so doting and caring and thoughtful. Willing to sacrifice a morning lie-in to keep his cousin’s ex company.
“Thank you,” I finally say.
“You don’t have to thank me, Riley,” he says. “I meant what I said. I’m here for you in whatever way you want me.”
My heart skids at the firmness in his tone, how he sounds so certain about me.
“I need to redecorate the flat,” I tell him. “I want to change it all. Today. I don’t want to keep being reminded of ...” I bite my tongue, not wanting to even say Tristan’s name.
“I get it,” Milo says. “Operation Redecorate will commence after teatime.”
I chuckle, then exhale.
In that single breath my entire body starts to loosen. “I’m ready.”