Chapter 41
I wake to the smell of something dank and wet. And citrusy. And floral.
Eyes still closed, I breathe in. It smells like freshly brewed tea.
When I try to open my eyes, I can keep them open for only a moment. My eyelids feel so, so heavy.
A strange feeling hits me out of the blue. It feels like I’ve done this before.
After a few seconds, I finally manage to open my eyes.
When I do, I still.
I should be waking up in bed next to Tristan on the morning of our one-year anniversary. But I’m not. Instead, I’m in the passenger seat of my car.
I take in the dark finish of the door as it materializes in my sleep-blurred vision.
I shift slightly and gaze at the road ahead, swathed in early-morning sunlight.
When I twist toward the driver’s seat, I see Milo. He turns to look at me and flashes that handsome smile I love so much.
“Morning, Sleeping Beauty.”
He gestures to the cup holder next to the center console before focusing back on the road, just like I knew he would. There sits a tall disposable cup of tea, steam wafting from the opening in the plastic lid.
“Stopped by the tea shop down the street from the flat while you were snoozing and got your favorite,” he says. “Half–Earl Grey, half–hazelnut black tea. The tea smith working there actually scowled at me when I ordered it. Again. Does he do that to you, too, whenever you order from him?”
He chuckles.
I don’t say anything. I can’t. I’m too stunned.
Because somehow, someway, after living an entire year backward, I’ve been launched forward in time.
I clear my throat, unable to speak for a long stretch.
“Damn. You’re usually chattier than this in the morning Must have been an extra-hard sleep.”
I try to smile as I dig my phone out of my purse. “Something like that.”
My screen illuminates, and I still once again when I see the date.
February 14, 2025.
I’m back where I started.
My head spins as I try to make sense of what just happened. How did this happen? How am I all of a sudden moving forward in time after almost a year of moving backward?
It feels like my head is in a cloud as I try to make sense of what has happened—what is still happening.
I don’t know how long I stare at my phone in utter shock, but it must be a while, because I hear Milo repeating my name.
“Riley?”
I whip my head up and look at him. “Yeah?”
“Are you okay?” Concern is etched in the lines of his frown.
That skidding feeling intensifies. It feels like my chest is swollen with emotion.
I think about living the past year in reverse with him ...
The year where I ended one relationship and started another.
The year where I learned the truth about two men I thought I knew.
The year where I left behind the man I thought I’d be with forever.
The year where I forged a bond with a man I couldn’t stand.
The year I fell in love with Milo.
Love.
He glances back at the road. I stare at him, that tidal wave of emotion consuming me from the inside out.
I think back to the last thing I remember before falling asleep and waking up in my car. How Milo and I stayed on the phone the whole day while watching Daria . How we chatted and laughed and joked late into the night. How I fell asleep on the phone.
And then I remember how this day unfolded the first time I lived it ... how terrified and confused I was when I woke up and saw him driving my car. I remember the affection in his eyes when he looked at me. I remember the concern etched in his expression when he saw me at my flat. I remember the warmth of his body when he hugged me tight. I remember the texts he sent me when I ran off to search for Tristan, asking if I was okay.
My chest goes tight. I swallow back the wave of emotion pummeling me.
“I’m okay,” I finally say. “Sorry, I just had some weird dreams when I was asleep.”
He smiles at me. “Yup. Definitely napped too hard.”
I laugh with him, relishing the ease and comfort coursing through me as I relive this day.
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“It’s a surprise, remember?” he says, smiling at the road ahead.
“Right.”