11. Emma
“Well hello sunshine, nice of you to join the land of living,” Caroline sang out to me as I strolled to her table in The Lounge. “I hope you don’t mind, but I already got us plates. I expected you’d be famished after all your extracurricular activities,” she said before taking another bite of her brunch.
I sat down in the chair across from her, busying myself with arranging my napkin on my lap. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I answered coyly before grabbing my fork because she was right—I was famished.
“Please, don’t act like you haven’t been having Olympic-style coitus with the hunky bartender of boyfriend’s past for the past couple of days. How you’re balancing that with your meetings and deadlines, I don’t know, but I have to admit I am feeling a tad neglected,” she sniffed before shoving a smoothie bowl my way. “By the way, have you tried this? The server said they just added to the menu… and you could use the protein,” she said, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.
I swallowed the bite of food I’d just taken, clearing my throat. “Really? You feel neglected?” I asked, disbelieving.
Caroline stuck out her bottom lip in a pout. “Of course,” she said before taking a sip of her orange juice.
I huffed out a laugh. “I call bullshit. What’s really bugging you?”
She chewed on her lip for a moment before relenting and said, “Okay fine, so I may not feel neglected… that’s not really my style and I am more than capable of entertaining myself buuuut,” she said drawing out the word, “I am a little hurt you’re not sharing with your best friend. I’ll have you know some of us are still in the midst of a sexual Sahara and it’s a little selfish of you to be bogarting all of your juicy details.”
I rolled my eyes at her, laughing. “What, you want me to draw you a picture?” I asked teasing.
Her eyes widened, “Only if you’ve invented some new position… then absolutely, yes,” she laughed. “But c’mon, this is the guy you have been pining over for a decade—the one who got away. Now you’ve finally gotten to realize some of those fantasies, and that’s no small thing. I mean, unless it is a small thing and if so, then that’s a bummer… or maybe that doesn’t bother you, I don’t know. Talk to meeee,” she whined.
I burst out laughing. “Okay, okay. Without getting into too many details, I can tell you it’s been… amazing. I mean, I know that sounds corny, but everything I imagined pales compared to what the last couple of days have been like.”
Caroline let out a small squeal of excitement, thumping her hand on the table. “Ooh, I’m so excited for you. God, how awful would it have been to long for and wonder about someone for that long and he turns out to be a dud in the sack?” she asked, shuddering in mock horror.
I shook my head. “You know it’s not just about the sex. That connection is still there. I don’t have to be anyone other than myself with him. I hate to say it but as much as I am enjoying myself, I’m a little scared. Oh hell, who am I kidding? I’m a lot scared,” I admitted.
Caroline nodded. “Afraid Daddy Moneybags will step in again?”
I nodded miserably.
Caroline sighed. “Look, I get how unpleasant he could make things for you, but what your father was threatening before isn’t really a threat anymore, so what’s stopping you other than the fear of family strife?”
“Strangely enough, it’s still my mom. I know he can’t take her away from me anymore, but he’s been threatening to make changes to the company that would steer us away from her vision, not to mention the impact it would have on the employees that have become family to me. The only reason he’s kept a lot of the more tenured employees is because I keep reminding him how important loyalty was to Mom. But he keeps complaining that they’re expensive to keep around. And now this new merger…” I trailed off, knowing I was probably sharing way more details than the company would like, but this was Caroline. If there was anyone I could trust to be discrete, it was Caroline and Abby.
“You still suspicious?” she pushed.
I nodded. “I’m still in talks with the son of Get Outdoors’ CEO and he keeps dropping hints that insinuate he’s hoping for an additional “merger” if you know what I mean.”
Caroline made a face. “Unfortunately, I know exactly what you mean. Have you told your father this guy is being a sleaze? I mean, your father is a lot of things, but I have a hard time believing he would be okay with that kind of behavior.”
I sighed. “That’s why I’m confused. I update my father every day on our progress, and I’ve mentioned more than once that this guy has other ideas that are less than professional and he just tells me to keep an open mind, reminding me what a good family this guy comes from.”
Caroline made another disgusted face. “Gross… and disappointing, my opinion of Daddy Moneybags is plummeting even further,” she said before downing the last of her orange juice. “This conversation calls for something stronger. Excuse me, sir!” she called before ordering two mimosas.
I wouldn’t normally day drink on a weekday, especially since I was supposed to meet with Andrew later in the day, but after the last couple of days I figured my status quo lifestyle could benefit from a shakeup.
The server came back with our drinks and Caroline savored a sip before she sucked in a deep breath and said, “Okay, now that I have some liquid courage in me, I’m just going to say it, Emma. I know how much this place means to you and I know how much it meant to Mama Carter, but when is enough, enough?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, a knot of dread forming in my chest.
Caroline eyed me warily. ”You know exactly what I mean, Emma. Look, I know your father loves you in his own way, but he”s been taking advantage of you for a really long time. Frankly, Abby and I were concerned that once your mom passed away, he would take even more advantage of you. I think it’s safe to say I don’t think very highly of a man who uses his wife, his daughter’s mother, against her to keep her in line. He’s up to something and I’m worried about where that leaves you. Not to mention, this Andrew guy sounds sketchy as hell. I know how much you love this company and how much it meant to your mom, but is it really worth it?”
I could feel myself blanch at the question.
”You can”t seriously be suggesting I just walk away from the company my family worked so hard to build? That I have been a part of since I was a child?” Even though I knew Caroline”s heart was in my corner, her words still hurt.
She sighed. ”I know it sounds insane to walk away, and it is, I get it. But you have so much to offer and I don”t think you’re appreciated. Look, if it”s a hell no, then the three of us will put our heads together, and we’ll figure out a way to make this thing with your father work for you. But Emma, we want you to be happy, and you”ve been unhappy for a really long time… even before your mom died.”
I didn”t respond for a moment, letting her words sink in. My knee-jerk reaction was to be furious at her suggestion, but this was my best friend who has only ever had my best interest at heart. Then Caroline said the words that would make the splinter in my heart dig in even deeper. ”She would want you to do whatever it takes to be happy.”
I couldn”t look at Caroline then, not because I was mad at her, but because she was speaking the truth.
My mom had been proud of what our family built, but she was even prouder to be my mom. I knew if I told her I wanted to join the circus and she believed it’s what would make happy, I would’ve had her full support.
What hurt more was that I often wondered what my mom would have thought of everything that’s happened since she died. I wondered if she was still proud, if she’d approve of how I’ve chosen to live my life without her.
But what made it hurt even worse was the fact that I often wondered what my mom was thinking when she saw me from up there. I wondered if she was still proud and I had to face the fact that she probably wouldn”t like how I was handling things.
Caroline broke into my spiraling thoughts. ”Hey, before you get lost in thinking you’re somehow disappointing her, just stop. She adored you and there’s nothing you can do to change that fact. Abby and I were always envious of your relationship with your mom. We would have killed to have that kind of support from our parents growing up. And I bet she’d have some choice words for your father regarding this whole merger fiasco.”
That made me laugh because, as usual, she was right on the money. Caroline was an expert on reading people. ”I just think she wouldn”t want you to get so wrapped up in everything your dad wants or fighting him at every turn. There’s more to life than world domination. She’d want you to enjoy your life—and that includes life outside of work. That”s why I”m so glad that you reconnected with Jaime. I admit I was a little worried at first, but it seems like things are going well?”
I couldn”t help the smile that spread across my face. ”Yeah, I’m not really sure where it’s headed, but I’m trying to just be in the moment with him.”
Caroline nodded her head in approval. ”Well then, let”s raise a glass,” she said, raising her champagne flute, ”To staying in the moment… and not allowing any jackasses ruin them.”
We laughed as we clinked our glasses together, and I was so grateful she was here. Otherwise, I would”ve spun out over what’s going to happen next and for once in my life, I wanted go with the flow and have fun.
And I had a hell of a lot of fun with Jaime, not to mention how comforting it was to just be in his presence. I felt at peace around him, and despite my best efforts, I couldn’t help but wonder what the future held for us. If he even wanted a future with me.
***
Yet another meeting with Andrew and more stalling. We got as far as agreeing on the location of the boutique on-site where we would offer their services, but then Andrew got distracted and seemed determined to take me out for a tour… of my own hometown. He swore he had run into a local who showed him some spots that even I wouldn’t know about.
I gritted my teeth and gave a tight smile. I seriously doubted that claim and I couldn”t help but bristle at the presumption, when he slid his hand around my waist, trying to pull me in closer as he tried to sweet talk me into spending the afternoon with him.
”Look, Andrew, I appreciate you taking the time to experience the grandeur that is Silverpine. Believe me, you will find no bigger fan of this town than me. But we have business to tend to,” I reminded him, gently pushing him away, so he understood I was done playing games.
He gave me an oily smile that had my posture stiffening defensively. ”Come on, you can”t be like this all the time. All work and no play makes Jane a dull girl,” he sang out, and I resisted the urge to throat punch him.
I gave him a smile that more closely resembled a grimace as I told him, ”Indeed it does, Mr. Travers,” I bit off. ”But work comes before play, and I know our fathers are quite eager for us to settle this deal.”
”You don”t know the half of it,” he said, and alarm bells went off in my head.
”I don’t? Then please, do tell.”
Andrew looked like he”d been caught sharing too much, then just laughed it off. ”I just mean those two have gotten their heads together and seem to have some specific ideas about what needs to happen here. I can”t say they”re bad ideas… we just have to get everyone on board,” he said.
”You don”t know the half of it,” I muttered, parroting him, not wanting to continue this cat-and-mouse game any longer.
I looked at him for a long moment, trying to decide what my next move was. I’d never had this much trouble with a potential client—and I’d never disliked one so intensely.
At his core, Andrew was an overgrown child, but he had a greasiness about him that set me on edge. It didn”t help that there were a million other things that I would rather do with my time than babysit him.
”Listen, I think we made good progress today settling on the location for the boutique. Why don”t we call it a day and you can continue exploring Silverpine? I have a friend visiting, and I would like to show her around town.”
”Oh, well, there you go. Why don”t you and her join my little tour—we can make it a threesome,” he said, grinning, and I cringed at the way he emphasized that last word.
My smile was turning into a baring of teeth and I could feel it. I sucked in a deep breath, trying to compose myself. ”Actually, it”s a girls” day out, sorry.”
He nodded, still leering at me, but I was already moving towards the exit.
”I”ll be in touch to arrange another meeting. Hopefully, we”ll be a little more productive next time, and Andrew,” I said before turning away, ”Please be prepared with those figures. It would be really helpful in determining staffing needs so we can begin recruiting.” With that, I waved to him and headed towards the elevator.
The lobby of Pine Crest was turning into a heaven and hell situation for me. The meetings I had to endure with Andrew in The Lounge were exhausting, while the dimly lit bar featured Jaime, which instantly put me at ease… and excited me.
I”d been pondering whether I was just trying to recapture my younger days, but there was nothing childish about what was happening between me and Jaime. Any sense of decorum I had went out the window when he was around, and I couldn’t keep my hands to myself. Thankfully, he was more than receptive.
Even if we didn”t have sex, getting to touch him had become vital to my ability to get through the day now. It hadn”t even been a week, and yet so much had changed. I had changed. I couldn’t help but worry about how this was going to hurt like hell when I returned to California.
Damn it, Emma, remember what you told Caroline.
I sucked in a deep breath as the elevator rose to the top floor.
Stay in the moment. Take it one day at a time. You don’t know what the future holds.
I don’t know why I was torturing myself. There was nothing that could keep me away from Jaime at this point, so why was I fighting it?
I walked down the hall to my suite, remembering the last time I was with Jaime. How I had woken up to him trailing kisses down my jaw and neck, tickling the sensitive skin of my neck with his scruffy beard. I could get used to that wake-up call every day.
With that memory fresh in my head, I pulled out my phone to call Jaime to see what he was doing. Maybe I could sneak in a quick visit with him before he had to go to work. I didn”t care where or how—I just needed to feel his touch, like an addict.
His voice was deep and sexy when he answered the phone. ”Hello?”
A shiver ran through me, landing squarely between my thighs. ”Well hello to you, too,” I said a little breathlessly.
He chuckled softly. ”Sorry, I just woke up.”
”I hope I didn”t wake you?” I was still wrapping my head around his schedule since he worked late and slept in the morning.
”No, I was awake. Just laying here, thinking about a certain redhead.”
I took the bait. ”Who is she? Do I need to hunt her down?”
He laughed a little louder this time. ”Bella, you must know by now. There’s only one redhead for me.”
His words made warmth spread through my chest, even as they scared the hell out of me.
It made me think of a future, a time when I never left his side again. But I didn”t know if that was plausible in the real world. Right now we were living in a fairytale, and I didn”t want it to end.
”I better be,” I teased him. ”I did have a reason for calling… I wanted to see if you had a little time before work. Maybe we could go for a walk? Or grab a quick bite to eat? Doesn”t have to be anything big.”
”Actually, I have the night off.”
I was thirty years old, and I felt like a kid who’d just been told I was going to Disneyland. ”Oh, then you must have plans already,” I baited him.
”I certainly do. Remember that redhead I told you about? I was thinking of taking her to a lavish dinner, followed by a decadent dessert… if you know what I mean.”
Excitement ran through me at the suggestion.
”That is, if you”re not too busy with important business meetings with successful, rich suitors,” he said jovially enough, but there was an edge to it.
”No, thank God. I am free… and all yours. Just let me know when to be ready.”
”I”ll pick you up at six. Dress comfortably—and not fancy Carter comfortably. Emma, the girl I grew up with comfortably, okay?”
I smiled, knowing exactly what he meant, and it thrilled me he knew what that meant.
He remembered young Emma”s t-shirts and shorts with hiking boots. He had no expectation for the woman in the high-end sporting apparel that was expected of her with clients.
I let out a satisfied sigh. ”Got it. I”ll see you soon.”
”Bye Emma,” he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice and the promise of what was to come later.
I was going to spend the evening with Jaime Acosta, and I was positively giddy about it.
But my excitement was immediately extinguished by the shrill ring of my phone which was still in my hand.
It was my father.
He was probably just checking in for a report on how the negotiations were going, but I dreaded having to tell him Andrew Jr. was stalling and I was struggling to figure out what his angle was other than trying to cop a feel at every opportunity.
I sucked in a steadying breath and answered. ”Hey dad, how”s it going?”
”That”s exactly what I’d like to know from you, young lady.” He said harshly, and any relaxed feeling I”d enjoyed before rushed out of me.
I hesitated before I answering. ”Well, I”ll be honest… things are beyond frustrating on the business front.”
”But from what I hear, not on the personal front. Things seem to be going well for you, which is probably why you haven’t been able to close this deal,” he sniped.
”Dad? I don”t follow. What are you talking about?”
”You forget, Emma, Silverpine is a small town—much of which I own and people like to talk. Plus, I still have some faithful employees at the resort. Why am I hearing rumors you’re sneaking around with the help?”
A thousand shades of red appear before my eyes. ”I”m sorry, what? Did you say the help?” My father was old-fashioned, but that expression was so disrespectful, I was livid.
”You know,” he fumed, ”I had reservations about hiring that boy again, but he blew the other candidates away with glowing recommendations and a reputation as someone who could turn that bar around. I should”ve known he was just trying to get in my daughter”s pants again.”
Fury washed through me. ”Father,” I said forcefully, ”you are way out of line. I don”t know what you”ve heard or who”s reporting on me, but I might remind you I am a grown ass woman, and who I choose to spend my time with is none of your business.”
”The hell it isn”t. Your mother and I worked entirely too hard to set you up in such a sweet position for you to throw it all away on some penniless boy with an inferior upbringing.”
”Dad!”
”No, l wouldn”t let you waste your time with that bum back then, and I”m certainly not going to allow you to spend time with a man whose best quality is getting people drunk with fancy cocktails. You need to keep your eye on the prize. If you”re so hard up for male attention, why don”t you play ball with Andrew Jr.?”
I huffed out of a disbelieving laugh. ”Are you serious right now? You”re upset about my reputation being compromised by someone I”ve known and trusted most of my life, who has grown into a kind, mature man? And instead, you’d rather pawn me off on a sleazy, ill-mannered man child just because he has money?”
”That”s always been your problem, Emma. You”re close minded. You haven”t even bothered to get to know him. I can assure you he has more positive qualities than you’re giving him credit for.”
”I have gotten to know him as much as necessary in order to conduct business. What do you suggest? I shack up with him?”
”Please, Emma,” he hissed out, ”there”s no need to be crude. It wouldn”t be the worst thing in the world to consort with your own kind.”
Bile rose in my throat, and I wanted to throw my phone across the room as hard as I could and shatter it into a million pieces.
Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, my father continued. ”Emma, I need you to understand I just want what”s best for you, and a bartending Spaniard isn’t it.”
A thousand ugly words bubbled up on my tongue, and yet they were frozen in my throat. ”And I imagine your mother wouldn’t be enthralled with your behavior, either. In fact, I think she”d be downright embarrassed.”
How dare he?
By the time my response finally arranged itself in my brain and I was ready to speak, he had moved on, talking to his secretary. ”Emma, I have urgent business I need to tend to, but you need to get your act together. Otherwise, I”ll have to come down there and finish the deal myself, and if I have to come down there, that boy toy of yours can forget about having gainful employment—not just at the resort, but anywhere in town.”
And then silence. No goodbye, he just hung up.
I stared down at my darkened phone in shock, shaking all over.
All those suspicions I”d had about my dad, all the concerns Abby and Caroline had been cautiously laying out for me, were now undeniable. The father I knew was gone. Whatever tolerance or compassion he possessed died with my mother.
I wanted to scream out in frustration, but didn’t want to alarm the other guests. Instead, I gritted my teeth and dialed a familiar number. ”Hey, I need you,” I said, skipping a formal greeting.
The voice on the other end didn”t question. They just said they’d meet me in five. And less than five minutes later, Caroline was at my door, looking uneasy and ready to throw down my behalf.
As soon as she saw me, her eyes widened. ”Whoa, Daddy Moneybags really stepped in it, didn”t he? Or was it Jaime? Do I need to kill him? That would be so inconvenient, but I will do what needs to be done.”
I shook my head. ”It”s not Jaime, but your first guess was right on the money.”
Her lips pressed together in a grimace. ”Do I need to call Abby?”
I hesitated. I would love nothing more than to have a powwow with both of them right now, but I didn’t want to bother Abby when she was working.
”No, I don”t want to disturb her in the middle of the day. I just need to walk this off. Do you want to go on a little hike with me?”
Caroline blinked at me slowly. ”As in out in the woods?”
I gave her a hopeful smile. ”It”ll make me feel better.”
She let out a long sigh. ”Fine, I’ll go change my shoes. But for the record, I am the superior friend for hiking in the woods for you.”
I laughed as I shut the door behind me and followed her to her room so she could retrieve her running shoes. ”You know, you might actually like it if you give it a chance. Besides, when you hear about what my father just said to me, I don”t think you”ll even notice we’re outdoors, which is a pity.”
She looked at me expectantly. ”Well, don”t let me leave in suspense… I would say I don’t have all day, but we both know I do,” she said, giving me a teasing smile. Once again, I was so grateful she was here.
Thankfully, Caroline was equal parts appalled and supportive as I shared the latest despicable exchange with my father and I felt renewed by the time we came back from our hike… though Caroline looked a little worse for the wear after communing with the great outdoors.
***
”Where are we going, Jaime?” I asked late that night.
He smiled at me wickedly. ”Patience, Bella.”
I was tired from the emotionally and physically draining day, but I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else than with this man, even if he was taking us to a dark, secluded area.
We started the night with a lavish dinner, just as Jaime promised me—at Mabel’s. It was definitely a trip down memory lane to be seated in the booth across from Jaime again. It almost felt like the younger version of him was sitting across from me, and yet I was delighted with this new manlier version, too.
I did my best to push out the conversation I had with my father out of my head. When I told Caroline I planned to spend the evening with Jaime, she”d coach me to just enjoying the evening and not let my dad ruin anything else.
”Emma, it”s one thing when a father gets involved in his eighteen-year-old daughter”s life. Parents want to protect their kids from the mistakes they need to make and learn from. He may have had good intentions back then, but this latest stunt feels like a power play. He’s trying to control you,” Caroline said cautiously.
”You”re thirty years old. You negotiate multi-million-dollar mergers and manage a team of people who depend on you, and you do so with tenacity and grace. The fact that he still treats you like a child is more than worrisome. He has no right to tell you who you can and can”t spend time with. And that little dig about your mother being embarrassed by your behavior? I hope her ghost haunts his ass relentlessly. Karma’s a bitch.”
That made me laugh. ”I”m serious,” Carolina said, ”I realize Mama Carter is probably way too sweet for that, but if there was ever a time for her to roll over in her grave and start putting the fear of God in your father, it would be going after her baby girl like this.”
Maybe it was wrong that I found Caroline”s anger on my behalf so comforting, but it made me realize how much Caroline, Abby and I had acted like pseudo-mothers for one another. In times of need, we were more than just best friends and soul sisters. Very often we were the parents each other needed because our actual parents weren’t capable.
”Come on. You have to recognize some of this,” Jaime said, breaking into my thoughts.
I tried to decipher landmarks around me, but it wasn”t until we drove around a curve and I saw a cabin in the distance that it started clicking together. ”The lake?”
He smiled at me. ”I can”t believe you don”t remember.”
I laughed. ”Please, you think I forgot about the lake? It”s just so dark out here and I”m so used to the light pollution in LA—I’m having a hard time getting my eyes to adjust in the dark. If you brought me out here during the day, I would have known right away,” I said, throwing my gaze out through the windshield, taking in the landscape.
Silver Lake was where Jaime and I would meet up in secret when we were kids. I would sneak out of my bedroom window and walk a few blocks before he would pick me up so my parents wouldn”t hear the starting of his truck.
Ironically, Jaime still had that same truck, and I felt like a teenager again as he pulled through the clearing close to the edge of the lake.
I smiled when I saw the familiar dock and looked back at Jaime’s sexy profile. ”Yeah,” I whispered, ”I remember this all too well.” He had no idea I had visited this place in my mind countless times over the years. That it served as a refuge when things were hard and the sorrowful reminder of what might”ve been.
He looked at me then, his eyes shining with a small smile playing at his lips. ”Shall we?”
I resisted the urge to launch myself across the bench seat of the truck and kiss him. I could sense he was going for a moment here, and while I wanted to feel his lips on mine, I pushed it aside. ”Let’s do it.”
He got out of the driver”s side of the truck, grabbing something from the backseat before coming around to my side, opening the door and offering me his hand.
I took it, climbing down from the passenger seat and followed him to our spot next to the pier. It was chilly, but Jaime had grabbed a blanket and laid it out on the ground.
I”d followed his instructions from our call earlier today and wore an old, worn-out Stanford t-shirt and comfy jeans. No corporate Emma in sight.
I sat down on the blanket as he settled down next to me, stretching out his long legs next to my shorter ones, his shoulder bumping against mine, sending sparks of pleasure through me. Only he could make me so excited just from the bump of a shoulder.
”I know it”s not quite the same,” he said, ”but I couldn”t resist.”
”Say no more,” I reassured him. This had been a special spot for us growing up. It held all our secrets from years past: how I worried my father would send me far away after high school when I just wanted to stay here to be close to the place and people I loved. How Jaime wasn”t sure what he wanted to do, but he knew it wasn”t construction like his father. I didn’t know then that my worst fears would come true and I would lose Jaime.
I hadn’t noticed when he put his arm around me, but I felt Jaime stiffen in question as a fresh wave of anger at my father”s words from earlier washed over me. ”Emma? Are you okay? You got tense all of a sudden.”
I shook my head. ”Yeah, I”m fine. Just stupid stuff from work, but I don”t want that ruining our evening.”
He shook his head. ”But something is bothering you. Is it the guy you”ve been meeting with? Is he making you uncomfortable?” He questioned, and I look up at him, confused.
I”d mentioned Andrew could get a little handsy, but left it at that. ”Why would you think that?”
”My employees see things in The Lounge and they talk. One server said he”s a sleazeball, flirting with the female staff, and making them feel uneasy. He flirts with guests too. I’m just worried about you having to meet with him so frequently. You know, if he takes things too far, you just have to call. And if I’m not there, Charlie will gladly put him in his place.”
I laughed. ”Jaime, I appreciate the offer, but I”m a grown woman and I can handle Andrew. I don”t need to be rescued.” I reminded him.
”I know,” he said. ”That doesn”t mean I won’t want to.”
I smiled and leaned in to kiss him. It was nice to have somebody who wanted to rescue you, even if you didn”t need it.
After I kissed him softly, I pulled back and said, ”Thank you for wanting to take care of me, Jaime. It means a lot.”
He wasn’t ready to let go of the subject just yet. ”Emma? What”s the nature of this deal? I understand if you can”t tell me, but why does this guy think it”s okay to be so aggressive, and why on earth is your father allowing it?”
I barked out a laugh. ”I can”t begin to comprehend why my father does anything. Just when I think I’ve figured him out, he surprises me,” I said bitterly.
”Surprises you? Or disappoints you?” Jaime said, hitting the nail on the head because deep down his behavior really wasn”t surprising to me.
He threatened to take away the most important person in my life if I didn’t break off all communication with Jaime all those years ago. And my best friends have been warning me for years that my father was only out for himself and wouldn’t hesitate to throw me under if it suited him.
But I haven”t wanted to believe it. I’m his only child—the only family he has left. I couldn’t believe he would be so cold and calculating.
I pulled away from Jaime, and he was quick to come after me. ”Hey, I”m not trying to bring up old stuff. I’m just worried,” he clarified.
I shook my head. ”No, you have every right to feel the way you do about my father. I just haven”t decided how I feel about him yet,” I said wryly. ”Kind of pathetic, huh? I’m a master of getting to know people, finding out what makes them tick so I can close the deal and yet the person I’m supposed to know better than anyone, I couldn”t see. Considering your history with him, you must think I”m an idiot and I couldn”t blame you for it. ”
Jaime reached out his hand, cupping my cheek, running the pad of his thumb over my skin, and I lean into his touch. ”I”ve never thought you”re an idiot. You’re intensely loyal, and that”s something that I”ve always loved about you. But I would be lying if I said I didn’t wonder what life would”ve been like if…” He trailed off.
”If what?” I asked, knowing the answer would probably hurt, but needing to hear it anyway.
He averted his eyes. ”If your loyalty extended to those outside your immediate family,” he admitted, and it felt like a punch to the gut. ”I don’t blame you for having an intense loyalty to your family.”
”You sure about that?” I asked, desperate to know.
”No, Emma, I don”t. I just… it”s hard to see those closest to you for who they are, no matter how brilliant you are. Instinctively, we want to give our family members the benefit of the doubt. I watched how your father treated his family, only to have you forgive him for his misdeeds time and time again. And I resented the hell out of him. But never you. I knew you were in an impossible position.”
Sadly, Jaime didn”t know the half of it. He had no idea my father threatened to keep my mother away from me. She had just gotten sick, and he was going to send her away under the guise of getting her the best treatment money could buy. I couldn’t stand the thought of being separated from her, especially as she fought her first bout with cancer.
If I she hadn’t gotten sick, maybe I would have been with Jaime this whole time—I would have had the courage to choose him, but that wasn’t the choice I was given.
Jaime was an intelligent man, an old soul who innately understood life was full of challenges and heartache. I guess I hoped his understanding would keep him from feeling hurt. He was so angry with me back then and it occurs to me now that was his way of expressing his heartbreak.
”Emma?” He prodded gently.
I smiled at him sadly. ”I hate that his actions have affected you,” I admitted to him. It was hard to get the words out after all these years. ”I just figured it was better to make a clean break, that you were better off without all the drama,” I whispered, unable to say the words any louder.
Even in the dark, I could see Jaime shaking his head, a wry twist to his lips. ”Seriously? You thought I would be better off without you?”
I hesitated, before I said, ”Well, no, I guess I thought you would be better off without the mess that is… my family.”
”You mean your father,” he clarified, and I nodded, even though there was no point.
My mother embraced just about everybody she met and she always liked Jaime. But she also felt obligated to stand by her husband and his wishes. Still, I wonder what she would”ve thought if she”d known how her husband leveraged my love for her to get me away from Jaime.
”I would have taken you any way I could, mess and all,” he said with a grin. ”Besides, every family is a mess. You would”ve had to deal with my hotheaded Hispanic family.”
We watched each other for a long moment. ”Look,” he finally said, ”we can rehash the past, but it doesn”t change any of it. The only thing we have control over is what”s in front of us, and I’m pretty excited about what’s in front of me,” he said, closing his arms around me from behind and nuzzling my neck.
We stayed like that for a long time, my head leaning back against his strong shoulder, inhaling the scent of him while we looked up at the stars.
This was heaven. If someone told me a couple of weeks ago that soon I’d be in Jaime Acosta”s arms, feeling desired and cared for, I would have laughed my ass off. But now that I was here, it felt like the universe conspired to make sure the two of us were in this place at this exact moment.
I dared to shut my eyes, closing out the stars and just inhaling the scent of Jaime.
”I”ve been thinking,” Jaime said, ”would you like to come to dinner on Sunday with the family?”
My heart kicked into overdrive. I’d met his family before, but this felt like a big step. What would they think was going on between us if he brought me home? We haven’t even defined what this is yet. But as doubts swirled in my head, my heart was thrilled he asked.
”Are you sure that”s a good idea?”
He laughed. ”I know they can be a lot to handle…”
”No, Jaime, that”s not what I meant…” I trailed off, not knowing how to finish that statement.
I let the words hang there until Jaime answered me. ”I think it”s a great idea,” and I could hear the stubbornness in his voice.
”Besides, we”re kind of reinstating the ritual Sunday family dinner. Sofia hasn”t come around much lately, and Maria and I are hoping to reconcile her with my mother.”
I remembered Sofia. She had always been strong willed and very independent, and always butted heads with their mother, so I wasn’t surprised to hear they weren”t on great terms. Although I wondered how Sofia could stay away, knowing time with their mother was limited.
”It”s complicated,” Jaime continued, ”but I don”t want Sofia to regret…” He trailed off, but I knew what he was thinking—not making amends before his mom passed away.
”I understand. There”s nothing worse than all the things left unsaid.”
He paused for a moment before he asked, ”Did you leave a lot of things unsaid with your mom?”
I thought about it for a moment. At the time I hadn”t, so I answered honestly, ”No, my mom and I were at peace with one another before she died. Of course, we”d always been close. I can”t remember ever fighting with her.”
And that was the truth. We were unusually close for mother and daughter, even when I was a hormonal teenager. Most of that angst was directed towards my father.
Somehow, until I met Jaime, I”d always felt like it was me and my mom against the world.
”There”s a lot I’ve wanted to tell her since, though. It would be really nice to have her guidance.”
Jaime looked at me and then gazed up at the stars. ”Who says you can’t still get her guidance? It might just come in another form.”
I looked at him, smiling. ”You always were a wise old man in a young man’s body.”
He laughed. ”Shower me with compliments all you want, but you still haven”t answered my question.”
I didn”t let myself overthink it and answered from my heart, ”Yes, I”ll go to Sunday dinner with your family… as long as you promise I won”t be intruding.”
He laughed. ”Come on, Emma, you know it’s a revolving door over there,” he teased. ”And you’re welcome at my home anytime.”
I reached for him and brought his mouth to mine, sealing his declaration with a kiss.
There was so much about this that felt confusing and yet, everything finally made sense for the first time in a very long time. I didn”t want to overthink it. I just wanted to fill his lips on mine and the rest of me as he leaned me back against the ground, lowering my head and kissing me passionately.
We were finally going to do something I’d dreamed about for years. I would finally get to make love to Jaime beneath the stars in our favorite place—a place where a thousand promises and secrets still existed.