Chapter 25 - Sam #2
She picked up on the second ring. Rosie was on the phone a second later, out of breath, launching into a story about clouds before I'd gotten through saying hi.
I listened. I asked her what they'd looked like.
I told her I couldn't wait to hear the rest of it in person.
When Jamie came back on she was a little breathless too, in a different way.
I stood in the middle of my living room with the phone at my ear and didn't trust my voice to do what I wanted it to do.
"I'll pick you up tomorrow."
"Thank you."
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
I could hear her smile.
I hung up and stood there for a second longer than I needed to. Then I showered, dressed and drove to the bar.
Sean had claimed our booth before I got there.
Same bar. Same chalk tally on the board by the dartboard. Same crew from Engine 7 at the pool table. The beer was cold, the wings were hot and Tyler was across from me, quieter than usual.
Sean was telling one of his stories. A call from earlier in the week, told for the third time, each version a little more exaggerated than the last. I was half-listening when his eyes caught on something past my shoulder and went bright in a way I recognized.
A group of women at a table by the window. Scrubs under their jackets, which meant they'd come off a shift at the hospital. One of them—dark hair, sitting at the end of the bench—kept glancing over.
Not at Sean. At Tyler.
Tyler noticed. Looked away fast. Took a long drink of his beer.
Sean caught it. Grinned.
"She's looking at you, kid."
Tyler shook his head. "No, she's not."
"She's been looking at you for ten minutes." Sean leaned back. "Go talk to her."
"I'm not—" Tyler's ears went red. "I don't even know what I'd say."
"Say hello. Ask her name. It's not rocket science." Sean clapped him on the shoulder. "You're a firefighter. Women love that shit. Go."
Tyler didn't move.
Sean sighed. "Fine. I'll go introduce you."
"Don't you dare—"
Sean was already standing. He walked over to the women's table, said something I couldn't hear over the jukebox. The dark-haired one looked over at Tyler.
She smiled.
Sean gestured him over.
Tyler looked like he wanted to die.
I caught his eye and nodded toward the table. "Go."
He took a breath and went over.
I watched him introduce himself. The woman laughed at something he said. Tyler's shoulders dropped half an inch.
Sean came back to the booth smug.
"You're welcome," he said to nobody in particular.
I shook my head and couldn’t help but smile.
I stepped outside for air.
The bar was loud and I needed a minute. I leaned against the brick and pulled out my phone. No new messages from Jamie. She'd have been asleep by now, or packing the last of her belongings.
"Sam?"
I looked up.
Amber was ten feet away. Put-together, the way she always was, but there was something careful in the way she'd stopped. Like she'd seen me first and decided how to play it before she said my name.
"Hey."
"I thought that was you." She took a step closer. "How are you?"
"Good. Fine."
"You look good."
"Thanks."
She tilted her head and smiled a little. Familiar. Easy. The smile I'd seen a hundred times across a hundred dinner tables.
"I've been thinking about you."
I didn't answer.
"I heard Jack's sister travelled."
"Word travels."
"Bryce mentioned it. At Sunday dinner." She said it easy, like it was nothing. "Said you've been helping her. And the little girl."
I kept my face flat.
Of course he had. Bryce sitting at a family table, sliding Jamie's name across it between courses. Watching to see who picked it up. I wondered how long he'd been doing that and if Sunday dinner was the first time.
I didn't give Amber anything.
She watched me for a beat longer than she should have. Then she let it go.
"Are you two together?"
I didn't answer that either.
She took that in with a deep breath. Softened her face into something careful.
"I've missed you, Sam."
"Amber."
"Just let me say this." She stepped closer.
"I know things got hard after Jack. I know I pushed.
I shouldn't have. I should have given you space instead of asking you to show up at my mom's events.
I know that now." Her eyes held mine. "But we were good together.
We were. And I've been thinking a lot about what we had, and I think if we just—started over, if we took the pressure off, we could have that again. "
I looked at her.
There was a time she could have said half of that and I'd have been looking for a way to make the conversation easier for her. Finding an excuse. Letting her leave thinking there was a door left open.
I wasn't that man anymore.
"I'm sorry, Amber. But I don't want that."
Her face fell. "Because of her? Jamie?"
"Because of me." I pushed off the brick. "I spent a long time not knowing what I wanted. Going along with whatever was easiest. That's not who I want to be anymore."
"Sam—"
"I hope you find what you're looking for. I really do. But it's not me."
I walked back inside.
I didn't look back.