Chapter 31
31
Poppy
“What is it?”
I stand there like a fool, looking back and forth between the two of them. Tommy shoots a look at Laird. Not subtle. So I ask my boyfriend, “What’s going on?”
“Tommy has the results.”
“Results toooooo ?” I lead him to water, hoping he drinks and will fill me in, but the answer hits me first. “Oh.” I release the handle of my suitcase and go to him. I don’t know what else to say or what to do. I just feel the need to be close to him and support him however he needs.
He taps my ass, naturally , and says, “Let’s sit in the living room. Sitting seems like something I should do.” I follow, settling beside him on the couch.
When Tommy sits in a chair at the end of the coffee table, he says, “Her legal team received the results due to the court order.”
“So they already know the outcome?”
“Yes.” He says, “We can call Mike. He’ll fill you in. ”
Laird sets his phone on the table and is about to call his attorney, but I place my hand on his forearm. “Wait.” Terrible timing or last chance? I had to take the opportunity either way.
Since the questions are already in his eyes, I reply, “I’ll love you no matter the outcome. I love you even more for wanting to take care of your child and to be a part of their life. I want to be a part of that, too, which includes every child of yours.” My brain pauses, realizing what I just said, what I opened the door to. He is a musician. His lifestyle has been wild, but I can’t roll out the red carpet. I need to land this ending. Loving but firm with boundaries. “But if you cheat on me, we’re through.” Direct works .
Is making myself giggle wrong? Probably.
Tommy’s restraining his own smile but remains quiet. Smart man.
Laird takes my hand, and when our fingers fall together, he gives me the slightest smile among his other concerns. He then kisses our conjoined hands. “That’s fair.”
Reaching forward, he punches the button to call Mike. It rings once. Twice. My heart synchronizes by the third ring. “Hello?” And then my heart plummets when my nerves kick in.
“Hey, Poppy and Tommy are here with me.”
“What a way to start a weekend.”
“You’re telling me.” Laird chuckles through the small talk, but there’s still an edge to his tone, and the laughter never reaches his eyes. “So what do we know?”
Mike replies, “You’re . . .” My world is wrapped up in this moment. Good or bad, the entirety of our lives will be affected by the result. Laird’s hand tightens around mine while Mike continues, “Not the father.”
No celebratory fanfare .
No wind punched from his lungs in disappointment.
No tears of joy or distress.
There’s no reaction at all.
Tommy and I exchange glances as my concern for Laird grows with each passing second. Even Mike is quiet. Laird must be the one who reacts first and guides us through the results. As he stares at the phone in front of him, I wonder if he’s in shock.
I rest my hand on his arm, which stirs him to angle his head, but he doesn’t make eye contact. We’re all frozen, so much so that I don’t even know what to think. I’m only worried about him and what thoughts are spinning in his head and weighing on his heart to cause the delay. I whisper for only his ears, “Laird?”
His eyes swing my way, the connection immediate, the exchange of our hearts shared through only a look. And then his hand covers mine, providing me the comfort I needed.
Tommy slaps his palm down on Laird’s leg. “This is good news, buddy.” Sincere and genuine but firm. Then he picks up the phone and opens the back door. “Let us know how to wrap this up—” The door closes, ending the option to be a part of the call. Which is fine. Laird needs time.
I whisper, “Are you okay?”
“Fine,” he finally replies, and I feel my heart beating again. “It’s weird. I don’t feel as relieved as I thought I would.” His eyes find mine out of the corners of his. “I’m sorry if that hurts you. I don’t mean to.”
“That doesn’t hurt me, babe.” I move closer so my leg is against his, wanting our bodies as close as they can be without mounting him. “You know what I think is happening?” His attention is all mine, and I think he needs something else to focus on. “You were mentally preparing to be a dad. It’s one of the many reasons I fell in love with you. Your heart is as big as you are, and you’re ready to give that love to a family.”
“I don’t think I’m ready for a family. My current life isn’t conducive to having one.”
“You say that, but you have shining examples all around you of those who make it work. Your sister and her husband, Johnny Outlaw and Holliday Hughes, so many are married and enduring the years and the travel, the time apart.” I nudge him with my elbow. “And the time together. And you already opened your heart and made room for me in your life. The same was happening with this news. You were making room for a child as soon as you got the news.” I embrace his middle, resting my head on his arm. “It’s okay to grieve or take time to process what you imagined would happen versus what did. I’m not hurt that you opened your heart like you did. I’m so sorry things turned out differently, though.”
His arm comes around me, and he kisses the top of my head. “It’s weird to think about it in those terms, but you’re right. I was preparing for a different outcome. I’m not sorry, though.” He stands, bringing me to his feet, then lifts my chin, bending to kiss me. “Life is turning out exactly how it’s supposed to.”
Two weeks later . . .
“Life is turning out exactly how it’s supposed to.”
Laird’s words often replay in my head—when stuck in the galley cooking, lying alone in my cabin at night, or walking the ocean’s shores on my limited time off. I miss him so much.
Instead of it getting easier or me getting used to being away, I’m more drawn than ever to be part of his day.
“I still can’t believe you guys have been dating for more than a month,” Marina says, “and holy cow, I just remembered we saw Faris Wheel play live in Austin a couple of years back.”
I shift onto my side and talk into the speakerphone, “Wild, right?”
“You were smitten. It was love at first sight.”
“What do you mean?” Laughter rocks through me as I sit up. Staring at my packed bags, I’m so ready to dash as soon as we get to the dock. The long flight from Greece to LA will be torture in my anticipation of seeing Laird again. I’ll probably lose all patience during my two-hour layover.
She adds, “‘I’m in love.’ That’s what you told me the first time you saw Laird on stage. And now here you are, in love with the same man but for real.”
“Talk about foreshadowing,” I reply, trying hard to keep it light when I feel anything but casual about receiving this tidbit of importance to my lost weekend.
I close my eyes and can almost feel a memory returning to me. The large crowd. The race track. The smell of burnt popcorn and fuel hanging heavy in the air. My heart palpitates as I open my eyes, wanting to cry from experiencing my senses from that day. “Marina?”
“What?”
“I just had a memory.”
“You did? What was it?” The words rush from her mouth. She’s as desperate for me to regain my memories as I am, knowing how the pain of the unknown has kept me from fully moving on from the accident .
“The concert. I remember it being hot and crowded and the smells.”
“Oh my goodness.” Her laughter holds excitement. “Poppy, yes, I remember that, too. Anything else? Anything at all?”
The fuzziest of visuals phases in and out of my thoughts. The lights. The band. The music. But it’s not a clear picture or one I can hold. My elation fades, and my shoulders fall. “It’s gone. For now.” I always tack that on for both of us, trying to stay positive.
“If you get one,” she says, “you’ll get more. It’s like a locked door finally opening. One day, it’ll be wide open for you.”
“I hope so. I hate having this blank space where that weekend is supposed to be. It’s frustrating.” I glance out the porthole and see the shore getting closer by the minute. “I need to go. I have a flight to catch in a few hours.”
“Text me when you land back in LA.”
“I will.” I grab my stuff and head for the exit. I’ve already said my goodbyes to the family so I could make a quick getaway.
I’ve finally boarded, and with my headphones on, I settle in for a long flight home. I’ve had half a glass of wine before takeoff, hoping it will help me sleep some of the hours away. Doodling on the napkin the flight attendant gave me with my drink, I find myself drawing a replica of the star tattoo I share with Laird. Destiny has me smiling again while sketching the rose within the borders of the design. What are the chances we’d both have it?
This trip was a test of our relationship and a testament to how in love I am with Laird. Despite the miles that divided us, he was never far from my heart. I can’t wait to see him and love that man like he makes me feel.
I’m in no mood to strike up a conversation, so when someone occupies the seat next to me, I turn away. I’d rather watch the plane pull away from the gate while listening to my favorite band, Faris Wheel.
The new album was wrapped three days ago, and Laird spoiled me by sending a bootleg copy. It’s brilliant. He’s incredible, and yes, his fingers are quite talented in all ways, but he knows that already. I’m going to celebrate him so hard. The album and the fingering.
I close my eyes and get a little catnap before the turbulence wakes me. I look around to see my cup still in place, but the ice has melted, making the liquid slosh around the inside. My doodle and pen are still in front of me, so I’m quick to save them from harm and drop them into my bag at my feet.
Things seem to be calm, and although I can hear the muffled sound of the overhead announcements, I keep my headphones on. Flying doesn’t scare me, and it seems the worst is behind us.
Just as I rest my head against the wall surrounding the window, I’m tapped on the shoulder, startling me. I turn to my seatmate and find blue eyes rivaling the bluest sea we’re flying above and hair tugged in a million directions that I can’t wait to run my hands through. But it’s that mouth and the smile that resides across it that has me dreaming of kissing him again.
“Huh?” I ask, my mind playing tricks on me.
“You’re an expert at blocking out the world,” Laird says with a smirk. “I wanted to wait until you saw me, but at this rate, we’d land before you ever noticed. ”
Is he real? I boldly touch his face, praying I’m not hallucinating. “It’s really you.” I throw my arms around him, yanked at the waist by the secured seat belt. Pulling him closer, I kiss him all over his face, braving the sharp edges of scruff and risking bruises across my waist. Excitedly out of breath, I drop back into my seat, still in a daze. “You’ve been here the whole time?”
He chuckles. “Yep.”
“Why? How? What are you doing here?” I unlatch my seat belt this time to hug him properly, selfishly because I want him to wrap around me again, to tell me everything will be alright, and to know how much I missed him.
When he holds me, I close my eyes, absorbing the haven of being in his arms again. “I couldn’t stay away any longer.” He shrugs before kissing me again. “And figured you might want some company.”
“I want your company all day, every day. I missed you so much.”
“I missed you, too, baby.” He places another kiss on my head.
The flight attendant approaches, smiling like she was in on it the whole time. She says, “You two are the sweetest. I’m glad it all worked out.”
“Thanks for the assistance,” he replies to her.
“Happy to support a love story.” She gives me one more kind smile before moving on.
When he turns back to me, I ask, “What happened?”
“The guy in 3B had booked the seat. She helped me convince him to move to the other so I could sit here.”
“I thought the flight was sold out?”
Holding hands between us, he leans over. “It was. There’s a woman flying business on the next flight now, and the guy in 3B is flying for free. ”
I grin stupidly. “You paid thousands of dollars to make this happen? Just to be next to me for the next twelve hours?”
“I’d pay anything to spend time with you.” He kisses my temple, and then adds, “I love you, Poppy.” I’m glad I’m already sitting down for that swoony admission.
I caress his cheek and lift to kiss him because he’s worth the effort as well.
Bringing my hand to his lips, he kisses it, but his eyes look around like he’s up to something. Hiding his mouth behind our connection, he whispers, “You gave me some time to think on this flight while you were sleeping.”
“I’m not sure I like the sound of this.” I twist my lips to the side and wait for him to drop the bombshell.
“After scoping things out, the front left bathroom offers us the best opportunity.”
I blink. And then again, and then four times quickly. “For?”
“Joining the mile-high club.”
I start laughing, then roll my eyes. “I should have known you were up to no good.”
“I’m up to good, alright. So what are your thoughts?”
“Well, for one, I’m already a card-carrying member.”
His jaw hits the shared armrest, so I reach over and pick it up. Tapping him on the tip of his nose, I add, “I’m kidding.” But I can’t stop myself from laughing even harder. “First, I’m shocked you’re not in the club with all the opportunities and panties thrown in your direction. Second, unfortunately, there is no way the two of us could physically fit in a lavatory. Have you seen yourself?” Moving my hand like a game show host, I signal to him since he’s the culprit keeping us from becoming members. “If you think I’m a contortionist who can squeeze into the crevices of a bathroom . . .” I wobble my head. “I could always give it a try.”
I haven’t felt this light, this happy since I left LA, since I left Malibu. He’s the common denominator.
“Solid points.” He leans over conspiratorially and uses the back of his hand to block any lipreaders in the vicinity, making me giggle. “You up for the challenge, Stanfield?”