Excerpt of The Deeper I Fall
The taxi had leftPhinny in front of the massive wood and iron gate guarding Kurt’s property. She should ring the buzzer, ask to be let in, but she didn’t want to go into that house yet.
She didn’t want to be here at all.
How could he do this to her? What had she ever done to cause him to be so cruel? She’d been six years old when she’d thrown a fit about visiting him. Of course she hadn’t wanted to leave her mummy and fly across the world to spend time with a man she barely knew. Why would he punish her for that?
And, really, what effort had he ever made to get to know her?
The sun beat down on her head, and cars roared by on the four-lane highway connecting the Tetons to the town she’d just left behind. A cool breeze rustled the sagebrush bushes and carried the scent of wildflowers.
I want to go home.
Of course, she didn’t have a home anymore. She had a house she shared with four strangers. She felt very much alone in her little room, but it was nothing like this. She wanted to call her mum, but she couldn’t deal with the rant that would surely follow the news about the contest. If she still had friends, she’d call them. Only a few months ago, they would’ve rallied around her and showered her with advice.
They’d probably tell her to flirt with the hockey boy until he was so besotted, he’d walk away from the competition. Then, she could sell the ranch and get on with it.
Never eat ramen noodles again! Ha ha!
But of course, they didn’t know she ate ramen now. They didn’t know anything about her life anymore.
And they hadn’t met Declan Cadell. Seriously, they didn’t make men like that in her world. He was big, tattooed, and rough-looking. If she’d run into him at the Tube station on her way home after a night of clubbing, she’d have been scared.
His dirty blond hair brushed the collar of his white dress shirt, and he’d rolled up the sleeves to his elbows, exposing the tattoos that covered his muscular arms.
He looked mean. He looked hard. He looked…
Delicious.
A shiver tripped down her spine. And just when she’d thought she’d read him all wrong, when he’d been sweet enough to hand over the ranch because it was the right thing to do, she’d talked about selling it and…whoo boy, he’d turned into the kind of man you don’t mess with.
And now here I am, stuck in this Cowtown for a month.
A month.
Pressure built behind her eyes, and she blinked back tears. Battling with more emotions than she could sort through, she wished she hadn’t checked out of the motel. She wanted nothing more than to hide under the covers and eat a packet of biscuits. But she had to stay here because Kurt had given her no choice, and now, she had to see this through.
She had to win, sell the ranch, and gain the kind of financial security that meant she would never again face the terrifying threat of not having enough money to eat or pay for a roof over her head.
Right, so let’s get going.Splashing around in fear would lead nowhere. She pressed the intercom button. Hitching her purse higher on her shoulder, she faced the gate, ready to stride on through. But it didn’t open. She pushed again, looking up at the security camera. “Hello?”
Nothing. A hawk soared overhead, and a cow mooed somewhere in the distance. All alone in a massive valley filled with hay bales, bison, and sage-covered meadows, she felt like a tiny speck of nothing. She pressed the buzzer again while checking out the area. On one side of the driveway sat a sturdy mailbox. On the other was a farm stand that looked like it hadn’t been used in years. With all the traffic on this road, she bet it had once done well.
Above the gate arched a heavy-gauge steel sign. Gongshow Ranch. A row of tiny wrought iron cattle meandered across the top.
That’s a weird name.
A humming sound drew her attention, and she found the gate slowly swinging open. Well, here goes. Grabbing the handle of her carry-on, she started the long trek to the house.
Fear poked at her, little jolts of electricity that made her pulse quicken. In the taxi, she’d quit her job—she’d had no choice. And while she had free room and board here, she still needed income. She’d only brought enough clothing and toiletries for a long weekend.
And what about my house? Did she pay for July or give up her room? She had just enough money in her account to cover rent and her share of utilities.
The biggest issue, though, was the auction. The foundation had already scheduled its first planning meeting, and Mrs. Lumley would be calling any day now, inviting her to run it again. It would just be a formality, though. They assumed she’d take the job—and they’d be correct. Only this year, Phinny needed a salary. That’ll go over well. But her circumstances had changed, and she had no choice.
She just dreaded Mrs. Lumley’s response.
Let’s not think about this right now.Jet lag combined with emotional exhaustion was a formidable force. It took every ounce of strength she had to keep walking.
After a bend in the road, the house appeared. Made of stone, wood, and gleaming tinted glass, it was an architectural feat of hip and valley roof and butted windows. A driveway cut through a large patch of emerald-green grass.
Heading up the stone pavers, she didn’t remember Kurt’s place being so…lush. For some reason, she’d had this image in her head of cactus and dirt, but the ranch was resplendent with healthy landscaping, well-tended outbuildings, and freshly painted barns and stables.
Lowering the handle of her carry-on, she lifted it up the stairs and stood in the shade of the porch. She didn’t know why she dreaded knocking so much. It wasn’t like Kurt would answer the door.
Oh. Her hand flew to her heart. She hadn’t anticipated that pinch. Over the years, she’d learned to stuff her sorrow and hurt under bravado.
Emotions were messy in the Crutchley house. One didn’t revel in them, and so she’d done her best to suppress the hurt and anger. She’d tried very hard not to think about Kurt at all.
But it hadn’t worked. Nothing had. All these years, she’d still waited for his call.
It was the real reason she’d stayed with Cameron so long. It had taken her a few months of bawling her eyes out, alone in a strange bedroom in a smelly old house, to come to terms with the truth. She never wanted to yearn for anyone the way she had her biological father. So, she’d stuck with someone she’d liked an awful lot but would never fall so in love with that she’d experience the same sense of anxiety, the hopelessness. That leap of her heart every time her phone rang, the flurry of excitement when the mail was brought in.
Anything from Daddy?
If she were honest, she’d spent more than half her life waiting for Kurt to show up with tears in his eyes, confessing how much he’d missed her.
But he hadn’t missed her at all. And nothing drove it home better than making her compete against one of his hockey boys for a piece of land that had been in the Grevers’s family for generations—and had nothing whatsoever to do with Declan.
Chin up.She knocked on the door. It was time to put all that useless hope and yearning to rest along with his body. At least she had a roof over her head for the next month—and it’s free. Exhausted, defeated, she’d had enough. So, when no one answered, she grasped the doorknob, ready to breeze in.
But it was whisked right out of her hand. And Declan Cadell stood there, so tall and imposing he took up the doorway. “Yeah?” That gravelly voice was as thrilling as it was frightening.
She rocked back on her heels. Good lord, the man took her breath away. Blond hair that looked like he’d run his hands through it, deep hazel eyes—more green than brown—and a generous mouth that made a woman think of long, slow kisses. “What’re you doing in Kurt’s house?”
“I’m staying here.” Spoken with the confidence of a man whose size meant he didn’t take crap from anyone.
Hold my Dom Perignon. “Nice try, puck chaser. But this is my father’s house, and I’m staying here.”
“Oh, now he’s your father? Well, let’s see, you haven’t set foot in this house in twenty years, and I always stay here when I’m in town…so, I’d say that gives me priority over you. Besides, I got here first.”
Frazzled, dead on her feet, Phinny didn’t have the energy to argue with this brute. “According to the terms of the will, I’m supposed to stay here, too.” Besides, she had nine hundred pounds in her checking account. Hm, she really needed to give up her room. Even if she left the furniture behind—she’d bought it at a charity shop anyway—at least she’d have money to buy clothes, toiletries, and food whilst here. “You were so nice in the lawyer’s office. What crawled under your skirt and bit your ass?”
He cracked a grin. “The princess has teeth.” Leaning against the threshold, he folded his arms across his muscular chest. “You know, I didn’t get why Kurt involved me in this game. Why he’d put the land that meant everything to him into play. It represents family, roots…his legacy.”
“I hope that’s the first trivia question because I’ve got the answer. To hurt me, that’s why.”
He shook his head. “If you think that, then you don’t know him at all.”
Of course, I don’t know him. How could I?
“I’d have gladly walked away, knowing it’s with his daughter, where it belongs, but the minute I heard you ask about a realtor, I knew why he picked me. Kurt knew better than to give this place to a spoiled little rich girl who cut him off because she didn’t like to get dirty. And he knew I’d honor his legacy and do right by every single ancestor who gave his blood, sweat, and tears to turn this land into what it’s become today. So, you can bet your ass I’ll do everything in my power to keep it out of your hands. See you at the Music Box in one month.” He shut the door in her face.
Mortification swept through her body like a flash fire. She hadn’t been prepared when her parents cut her off. It had taken a long time—okay, she still hadn’t adjusted to being flat-out broke.
But people liked her. They always had. Sure, she’d lost her friends along with her credit card and fancy address, but that had to do with her financials not her personality. So, to have this man think so little of her when he didn’t even know her…it wasn’t fair.
How does it make sense for me to own a cattle ranch in Wyoming?
She knocked again.
He opened quickly, giving her an exasperated expression. “What?”
“The will says I have to live and work here, so step aside, puck chaser. You’ve got a new roommate.” This time, she was ready for him, and she shoved her two-thousand-dollar Valentino Rockstud handbag inside to prevent him from shutting the door. “This place is huge, and there are plenty of bedrooms. Our paths won’t even cross.”
“You’re right. Because we won’t be under the same roof. There are plenty of outbuildings. Find somewhere else.” He lifted his knee and bumped the purse out of the way.
When she heard the lock slam home, she let out a frustrated growl. “What is the matter with you? You’re not his son, you asshole.” Exhaustion buckled her knees. She could curl up on that porch swing and sleep for days.
From here, she could only see the freshly mowed lawn, the driveway, and the meadowland on either side of the house. Fine. Leaving her luggage on the porch, she set off to find guest quarters. On her family’s country estate, they had several lovely cottages. She didn’t need a house the size of a lodge.
Nor did the puck chaser, so she had no idea why he was hogging it to himself. As she crossed the driveway, she noticed a silver bullet on wheels. She didn’t know why it surprised her that Kurt had an RV. It would be perfect for a man who preferred his own company and liked to camp out for weeks all alone.
There it was again. That stab of pain.
She might not remember much, but she would never forget the last phone call her mum had made to him.
She doesn’t want to spend her summers on that ranch.
She doesn’t like fishing.
For God’s sake, Kurt, she’s a little girl.
She hates going to visit you.
True, she’d pitched a fit about going, but she hadn’t wanted to hurt him. Her mum shouldn’t have been so cruel. And as she’d gotten older, she’d always wondered why he hadn’t said, Okay, I’ll go there.
We’ll rent a house in the south of France.
I’ll take her on a cruise.
We’ll go to Disneyland.
He could’ve done any number of things other than give up on her. After that call, he’d stopped holding her mother to the custodial agreements.
Ugh. Why am I dredging all this up?Striding past the RV, she headed around to the back of the house where she found an impressive barn. Further out, she saw a bunkhouse where the hands lived. Sheds, a stable. A corral. But no guest house anywhere in sight.
Well, I’m not living in a barn. So, the only possibility was the bunkhouse, but surely no one expected her to sleep with a dozen cowboys.
All around her, the ranch was quietly bustling. A truck in the distance kicked up dust as it headed down a lane. Sounds came from the barn, and a couple of workers in jeans and cowboy hats led their horses into the corral, their expressions somber.
There might be plenty of outbuildings, but she couldn’t stay in any of them. She stormed back to the house and banged on the door.
This time, when the puck chaser answered, she didn’t give him a chance to speak. “You’re not the boss of anything. We’re on equal footing, so step aside. I’m staying here.”
He blocked her way with his big, hard body. “Wrong, Princess. I claimed the house.”
“And where do you expect me to live?”
He pointed toward the silver bullet. “Have a nice night. Oh, since you’re probably jet lagged, you don’t have to report to work until tomorrow morning. But be in the barn at five-thirty.”
“Are there even clean sheets in that thing?”
“Look, Princess, nobody’s holding my hand here, either, okay? We both got the news about the will at the same time. I got here quicker?—”
“Excuse me, but I had to check out of the motel.”
He shrugged like he couldn’t have cared less. “I got to the ranch manager first. The house is mine, and I found out what work needed to be done and chose what I wanted to do. I suggest you do the same thing.”
All the fight drained out of her. He’s right. She had been expecting everything to be laid out for her. Someone would show her to her room and serve her meals.
Just as she’d lived her life up until ten months ago. “That’s fine, but you might want to leave the door unlocked because I’ll probably be back for supplies.”
“Not gonna happen.”
Once again, he shut the door in her face.
What a dick. Grabbing her luggage, she headed back down the steps and over to her new home on wheels. It looked dusty and…sad. Did it even have air conditioning?
What is my life?
There’re hundreds of millions of dollars waiting for me on the other side of this nightmare, so buck up. She could do anything for a month.
Used to city living, she filled her lungs with the crisp, clean mountain air, and it calmed her. She’d come here figuring she’d inherit some money. With it, she’d planned on moving into a better flat and having a nest egg. But with this kind of money, she could start a philanthropy of her own. She didn’t have many talents or skills, but she had a way with people, of encouraging even the grumpiest old cuss to donate his island or his castle for a week. She put together such great auction items, the patrons fought each other over them.
It’s the one thing I’m good at.
Twisting the metal doorknob, she pulled it open and dragged her suitcase up the stairs. The place smelled of must and hot leather, but it wasn’t too bad. The kitchen area seemed clean enough. It was small, obviously, but she didn’t need much space. She wheeled her carry-on to the back where she found a horseshoe-shaped couch.
Looking around, she didn’t see anything more than a kitchen, a table and banquette, and a couch. No bedroom?
Okay, whatever.That’s fine.
Sunlight streamed through the windows. There are no curtains. That might be a problem. But whatever. She’d just have to make the best of it. Exhausted, she dropped her purse on the floor, set her suitcase against the wall, and collapsed on the couch.
Wait. She had to be up at five. She found the energy to plug her phone into the outlet and set the alarm.
Tomorrow was a new day, and she’d kick its ass.