Chapter 27
Leon
Iend up driving to Port Welling and back. No reason why. But the thought of going home kills me, and the thought of meeting up with one of my friends makes me jittery.
I have no idea what that was, but it doesn’t sit right with me.
I had to get out of there before I said something to Kieran I’d regret. He already has too much on me now, and while I don’t want to take anything that happened with Auggie back, I do wish we’d had time to talk properly this morning.
This whole situation is messed up.
But the thing weighing on me, more than anything, is the thought of Auggie leaving. Let’s face it, his dad made him an awesome offer, and he’d be an idiot not to take it. Sure, I’d be fucked without an apprentice, but that’s not what’s brought this unsettled, almost sickly feeling on.
If Auggie leaves, he’s gone.
No more hanging out, no more working together, no more cute rambling and gorgeous blushing. No more sex.
Well, with him anyway.
And it’s starting to hit me that he’s the only one I want to have sex with. Waking up next to him this morning was the most settled I’ve felt in a long time. I want more of it. And if Auggie’s cute-as-fuck word vomit from this morning means anything, he does too.
So what the hell do I do?
No way would I ever tell him to turn down his dad’s offer, because if I’m honest, it’s a good one. A really good one. There’s no way he could say no to that in favor of being an apprentice, especially since it’s something Auggie has been wanting for, well, pretty much ever.
I can’t let him stay for the job.
I can’t let him stay for me.
And if he turns it down and stays anyway, there’s every chance he’ll resent me when he’s only getting qualified a few years down the track.
No, the choices he currently has all suck. There’s one clear winner, and I’m uncomfortably aware it’s not me.
So.
I guess I need to work out another option to throw on the table.
I just … don’t know what that is yet.
It can’t be a relationship. I know that would work, and he’d stay if we could have something, because I’m not blind. Whatever feelings have been sneaking up on me definitely hit Auggie first. I promised him we’d keep all that separate from work though, and I intend to.
Could I commute maybe? From Portland to here every day? I want to immediately say yes, but my time is thin as it is. Adding travel time onto an already busy day makes my head ache.
Dammit, there has to be a solution.
I’m just arriving back in Sunbury when my phone starts to ring. At first I get excited, thinking it could be Auggie letting me know he’s done with his parents, but when I check the display, it’s Circus’s name there.
Truthfully, it’s a good thing. Because I don’t think I can see Auggie until I have some things worked out. He’s going to want to pick up our conversation from this morning, but it’s something that needs to be put on hold until he figures out what he wants.
“Hey, man,” I answer.
Circus’s naturally raspy laugh comes down the line. “I would have thought a long night of fucking would make you sound more chipper than that.”
“How the hell do you know what I was up to last night?”
“Do you take me for an idiot? You and Auggie were basically spooning at my place, and then you both disappeared. Early.”
“Maybe I drove him home?”
“Or maybe you two are a pair of horndogs who skipped out on my party to go have sex.”
“I don’t know how you got to that conclusion.”
“Bart may have overheard you.”
“Of course he did.”
Circus laughs again. “I know I tease you about it a lot, but I wasn’t sure it would happen.”
“Why?” I grunt.
“Because as you’ve pointed out to me a hundred and one times, ‘small bitches like you aren’t my type.’”
“I never said bitches.”
“But you don’t deny the rest.”
“Thing is … I think he’s sort of grown on me.”
“Okay …”
I huff at how dramatic I sound to myself. This isn’t a big deal. It’s not a hard thing to admit. All I need to do is pull up my big-boy pants and stop being such a chickenshit. “I think I’m falling for him. No, wait. Have. I think I have fallen for him.”
My words are met by silence.
“Circus …”
“Sorry, just … processing.”
“Processing?”
“I mean, holy shit.”
I sigh. “This isn’t a holy shit moment.”
“It is one hell of a holy shit moment. Leon … you. You’ve fallen for someone. And that someone is Auggie.”
I hum at his dramatics.
“Sorry, but holy fucking shit. Mister I’ll-Be-A-Bachelor-Until-I-Die-Because-I-Have-No-time-For-Anyone has fallen for a skinny little twink with terrible depth perception.”
“To be fair, I don’t think depth perception is his problem.”
“Holy. Fucking. Shit.”
I’m getting sick of those words. “Can we move on from the shock now?”
“I’m going to circle back to it when I tell Rowan, but damn, man. That’s … well, I’m happy for you. Obviously. You two are together, right?”
And here’s the hard part to explain. “No.”
“Sorry, bad line. It kinda sounded like you said no.”
“I did.”
Silence again. Fucking silence.
“Your thoughts are as loud as if you’d actually answered me,” I say.
“Sorry, but why? He’s clearly not in the closet.”
“He’s not, and I’m pretty confident he’s on the same page.”
“I think the kid’s been half in love with you since he met you.”
“Call him a kid again. I dare you.”
Circus snorts. “You’re precious.”
“It’s like you want me to hang up.”
“Sorry, continue.”
I turn into my street, not sure how much I want to give away. Then again, Circus is my oldest friend—he’s the one I go to about everything and vice versa. He’s been family to me when no one else was. If I can’t talk to him, who can I talk to?
So I run him through what happened at Auggie’s. From almost telling Auggie that I want an actual relationship, to his parents showing up, to the threats about my business and the offer his dad made him. It’s a lot to get out, but Circus listens the whole time.
Finally, I switch off my truck that’s been sitting idle in the driveway and climb out.
“So I don’t even want to talk relationships until I know what he’s doing.”
“He deserves to know though. Yeah, you don’t want to be part of the decision, but … you kind of are.”
“It has to be separate. I know you think I’m being difficult, but no matter what he chooses, I’m going to tell him.
It just needs to be after, because it isn’t much of a choice.
Taking over his dad’s business or slaving away as a bottom-rung employee for me.
” I rub my forehead as I step inside and head straight for the stairs.
“You know … while you were sick, Auggie really took control.”
It’s ironic he says that right as I reach my bedroom, because this whole second floor is evidence of Circus’s words. “He did good.”
“I know he’s clumsy, but maybe being on the tools isn’t where he belongs.”
“It’s what he loves though.”
“Does he? I mean, he was hands-on and everything while we were there helping, but you didn’t see it.
The way he directed us and talked us through what needed to happen.
How he checked over everything. It was impressive, if I’m honest, and from what I saw, it seemed like he was in his element with it. ”
I frown as I turn that over. “So maybe he’d enjoy a project management type role …”
It’s something I’ve always taken on myself.
Every job, every worksite, it’s all been on me.
My vision, my organization, my plan. My way.
Could I give up that control? If I’m honest, it’s the part I always enjoyed the least. I like working outside and feeling sore and tired at the end of the day.
Auggie said he was the same. It’s the reason I hired him to begin with.
I could sense it, the need we both felt to be useful, to make something out of nothing.
I have no idea if this is even something he’d be interested in, but … it’s the best I’ve got.
“I can’t make up a position for him,” I point out. “Then that could actually be seen as preferential treatment.”
“You said he’s got experience in a whole range of shit. Has he ever done something like that before?”
I can’t remember his resume now. “I’m not sure.”
“Well, look into it. You’ve said yourself he’s way too experienced to be where he is now. And you know … you do have a huge project coming up that you could use the extra hands on.”
I immediately shake my head. “That job is the biggest of my career. I can’t hand it over.”
“And I’m not saying to, but maybe you could use it as an opportunity. Let him run the project while you oversee everything. He’d do the grunt work, and you tick all the boxes to make sure he knows what he’s doing. If he does well and proves himself …”
“Then he’s earned it in his own right.”
“Bingo.”
I rub the scruff on my chin, trying to stop myself from getting excited. It would be amazing if it’s something he wanted to do, but again, it’s not on the level that his father is offering. It would also mean a lot more office time which I’m not sure Auggie wants.
I thank Circus as we hang up, because at least he’s given me a direction I can try and follow, and hopefully that direction will mean Auggie stays, and if I’m lucky, he’ll want to give us an actual shot.
I look around my house, at everything Auggie’s done, and for the first time since I bought the place, it doesn’t fill me with stress, even though downstairs still has a lot to do.
Instead, being here settles me. Comforts me.
It feels like a home.
And I have one man to thank for that.