Chapter 29
Leon
Isend Auggie back to work before I do something as unprofessional as kiss him. But God he’s beautiful. And pure, and innocent, and cheeky, and unsure. There’re also little flits of confidence that come through. And the want in his eyes when he looks at me.
I flex my fingers around the contract he quickly signed before he ran out of here, wide smile on his gorgeous face.
The last thing I should have said is that line about losing him, because I meant it way too much. And now that I know he’s staying, tonight I’m going to show him.
No more games.
I’m going to try … an actual relationship.
The thought is so wild considering everything I don’t have to offer a partner, but all I know is I need to try. Work has always been my priority, but when I think of shifting that focus to Auggie, it doesn’t seem like such a hardship.
That dreaded feeling is back, pulsing in my chest, reminding me that while I feel like this decision is a free fall for me, it’s the right one.
I’ve been single basically my whole life, and I have no idea how relationships work, but Auggie makes me want to try. To see if it’s something I can do.
To see if I can deserve the man who’s quickly taken over my every waking thought.
I finish up every last scrap of work I can manage before I clock off an hour early. Thanks to Auggie handling everything over the last week, I’m not as behind as I should be, and so tonight, I’m planning on paying him back for that.
The first sliver of nervousness hits me, and I pray I’m reading our relationship right. I know he asked for exclusivity and said he didn’t need us to actually be together, but I’m sure that’s what he was asking for.
I hope.
Because if not, yikes.
The thought makes me feel vaguely sick.
I shake it off, done with channeling Auggie’s nervousness. I’m not going to second-guess this, because if I put myself out there and it fails, too fucking bad.
Auggie puts himself out there all the time, and I’ve never seen him be defeated by a setback.
But this whole talking about feelings thing … super new for me.
It’s not until I get home and start sifting through my clothes that I realize I have nothing appropriate for an actual date. Work, clubbing, hookups, and everyday type of things, sure. But looking presentable?
I find a white button-up in the back of my closet that I think I bought for jury duty at some point.
It smells a bit musty, but there are no suspect stains.
I roll the shirtsleeves to my elbows and pair it with some chinos that hug my ass, and I thankfully don’t look like I’m trying to convert someone to religion.
There’s nothing to be done about how tired I look, so Auggie’s going to have to learn to love me as is.
Poor guy. He’s definitely got the short end of the stick.
It’s hard to wait until a time I’m sure Auggie is home from work and showered, and just when I’m considering heading to his place anyway, there’s a knock at my door.
Even without seeing him, I’m sure it’s Auggie.
My heart swells as I go to answer.
He’s standing there, all big eyes and bouncing, looking completely adorable and unsure.
“Hey, I—” His gaze sweeps over me. “Sorry, are you going out? Should I come back later?”
I grab his shirt—the exact pale pink of his blush—and pull him into the house before slamming the door behind him. “You’re ruining my surprise.”
He swallows audibly. “Surprise?”
“Yep.” I eye the picnic basket he’s holding. “But it looks like you have something planned already.”
He looks down at the basket like he’s forgotten he’s holding it, and his face quickly goes from pink to bright red. “Umm … well, yeah. Maybe. I mean, if you don’t have any other plans, I thought we could possibly go do something and talk about, you know, that thing that I mentioned—”
I take the basket from his grip. “Are you asking me on a date, Auggie?”
He completely freezes.
“You know, if you’d been a little patient, I would have asked you first.”
“What?”
“I was on my way to your place.”
“You were?”
“To ask you to have dinner with me.”
“Oh.”
“Yes, oh. But since you’re here, I guess that means you’ll have to ask me.” I stand back and eye him expectantly.
It takes him a moment to process my words and then, “Doyouwannagoonapicnic?”
“Was that English?”
He chuckles and shakes out his arms like he’s trying to shake off the nervousness. His green eyes meet mine, and determination flashes across his face. “Do you want to come on a picnic? With me? Now.”
I pinch his chin and smile down at him. “Yes. Where are we headed?”
Auggie’s teeth sink into his bottom lip as he starts to walk backward through the house. The confidence I’m starting to become familiar with is back, and I follow him to my back door.
“I wasn’t expecting you home yet,” he says. “And I sort of organized some things that I’m hoping you haven’t seen.”
I nod past him. “Outside?”
“Yep.”
“Lucky someone finished my master bathroom last week so I didn’t need to go out to shower.”
I swear he shakes as he slides the back door open.
Outside, set deeper into the garden, is what looks like a mini version of the spa place we went to.
As we approach, I make out more details. The tall leaves and tiki torches ringing the area. The bright, fancy cushions on a patterned blanket, the rustic crate full of ice and a bottle of champagne.
Auggie’s face looks red again. “This isn’t a date,” he hurries to say. “Circus just went a bit, umm, overboard and—”
“Sorta looks like a date to me.”
“It’s more a, ah, a celebration! Because of the job. I thought we could celebrate and talk and …”
I should probably put him out of his misery. Should but won’t, because I fucking love the way he stammers for me.
“And?”
“Oh, umm, no and. Just celebrate and talk. That’s it. Period.”
“Period, huh?”
“Emphatically period. The end.”
“Got it.”
I place the basket down beside the crate.
“So let me get this clear,” I say. “Celebrating and talking only, right?”
“Right.”
“Period?”
“Yes, period.” He shoots me an irritated look.
I shrug and pretend to sigh. “Pity.”
“Why pity?”
“Because I was really hoping to kiss you again.”
Clearly he’s not expecting that because he looks at me like he can’t figure out what to say. “I guess that could come under the, umm, celebrating?”
“Good enough for me.”
I don’t get anything else out before Auggie jumps me. Literally. The surprise makes me stagger back a step as his legs close around my waist, and then his lips are on mine, needy and confident all at the same time.
I open my mouth for him and turn off my brain, letting myself revel in the feel of his tongue against mine, his lithe body in my arms. When he starts to slow and pull back, I chase his mouth for a moment before I let him go.
“Nice celebration,” he says, voice all breathy.
“I’m sure we’ll celebrate more later.” I place him back on his feet. “Let’s do the talking part now.”
“After that kiss, I’m not so sure I want to.”
I quirk an eyebrow at him. “And after all this …” I settle back on a cushion. “Auggie, you can play cute and shy all you like—we both know what this was.”
“Oh, do we?” He settles across from me, slim legs tucked underneath him.
“You planned a date. An actual date. For me. With no idea if I’d go for it.”
And even though his cheeks are flaming right now, he looks me in the eyes. “You said you didn’t want to lose me.”
“Professionally.”
“Aw, Leon. You can play cute and shy all you like—we both know what that was.”
“Oh, do we?” I mock. I knew as soon as I said I didn’t want to lose him that I shouldn’t have. The last thing I wanted was to affect his decision, but there was no stopping the truth behind it.
“Why didn’t you want to lose me?” he asks, voice barely higher than a whisper.
I reach for him, and he comes willingly, letting me pull him over to straddle my lap. He feels so right here. And as I rest my hands across his back and enjoy his closeness, I realize I feel so right here as well.
“Because you’re incredible. You’re passionate and fun and adorable.
And you make my heart do weird things. And whenever we’re together, instead of getting sick of you, I crave more.
Always. I want us working together, and sleeping together, and doing everyday normal shit together.
Auggie, I …” I pause, letting my breath catch up with me.
“I think you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met.
And what you said yesterday: yes. I want the sex to continue. Only with you. But also … I want more.”
“More?” His voice shakes.
“I want you to be mine.”
His bottom lip curls over as he starts to nod, over and over, and I’m almost worried he’s going to hurt himself.
I cup his face and kiss him quickly. “Is that a yes? You want to be together?”
“Like … boyfriends?”
“Exactly like boyfriends.”
His smile is blinding. “I guess we have something else to celebrate.”
We kiss again. And again. Barely coming up for air. His mouth is addictive, his weight in my lap is perfection.
We somehow make our way through the food and the champagne without letting go of one another. And then when it’s dark, and the torches come alive, Auggie pulls out a packet of lube and a condom.
I take them from him. “As much as I love to ride you, I really need to be inside you right now.”
“Yes.”
I seal my mouth over his and slowly lower him back onto the blanket. My hands slide over his soft skin as I remove each item of clothing, taking my time to map out his every line and contour with my fingers and lips.
Auggie’s breathy little gasps, his hooded lids, the way his skin flushes red are all things I want to experience over and over again.
I can’t believe I thought once with him would be enough.
I can’t believe I thought closeness after hookups was true intimacy.
I kiss down his stomach, over his thighs, the skin pebbling in my wake. I want to go slow, to worship this man and show him everything he means to me. I need him like I’ve never needed anyone before.
I need his body.
His companionship.
His support.
And maybe one day his love.
All I know is when I sink inside him, our eyes lock and I can’t look away. I rock my hips into his, hold him close, swallow all the cute little noises he makes, and this flood of certainty hits me.
He’s it.
He’s mine.
And I’ll do whatever I need to make him happy.
Always.