Chapter 30
Chapter Thirty
JORDAN
Sabrina slurps the last of her Diet Coke through a straw, then leans back. “So, how’s the no-sex thing going with Matt?”
Leave it to Sabrina to go straight for the jugular.
We’re at our favorite sushi restaurant, just a few blocks from work. We’ve been going over ideas for Sherry’s butler pantry.
Guess we’re done talking about that.
“It’s going just fine,” I say. “Great, actually.” As if saying it makes it true.
“Liar.” She grins, then adds, “I give it three weeks. Four, tops.”
I gather my napkin and utensils and place them into my bowl, clearing a bit of space. “Going on five months now. You really don’t think I can go a few more?”
“Yeah, but that was before you were living with one of Manhattan’s most eligible bachelors.”
My grin spreads wide. “Sometimes I really hate you. You know that?”
She laughs. “Yeah, but that’s only because you know I’m right. You’ll cave… eventually.”
“He heard me…” I say, hesitant, “masturbating last night.”
Sabrina’s eyes go wide. “What?” She laughs, then adds, “How?”
“I was in his shower, and…” I trail off, rubbing my temples. “He heard me when he was changing after work… God, I was going for so long. Just one after another, too.”
She laughs again. “Oh my God. That’s amazing. Wait—did he tell you he heard you?”
I roll my eyes. “It was a whole thing. I came out, realized he’d changed, so I confronted him. And then the fucker admits to not only hearing but jerking off to it.”
Sabrina sucks in a gasp of air, her jaw dropping. “No.”
“Yes. So I thought, I’ll get him back. I put on my slutty pajamas and flirted with him. Drove him crazy.” I pause. “But then he almost kissed me. And…” I scrunch up my face, eyes squeezing shut. “Fuck, Sabrina. I really wanted him to.”
“I mean… am I supposed to be surprised here?”
“Shut up. I’m serious.”
She takes a breath, quietly assessing, and then I add in a whisper, “I don’t know what to do. I need to stay strong, but I need to have sex.”
“You need to have sex? Or you want to have sex?” she asks.
“Both,” I say.
“Hey, you know my opinion on this. I applaud your efforts to be all noble and not sleep with the guy, but…” She smiles, leaning back in her chair. “I am in full support of this union.”
“Thanks. You’re so much help,” I mutter.
She glances at her watch. “Ah, shit. We better get back to the office. I have a one o’clock appointment.”
“You go,” I say. “I’m going to grab something for Matt. His office is only half a block out of the way, and he hasn’t been able to step away for lunch.”
She looks at me for a beat before saying, “Look, I get that you're scared to have your heart broken, and there’s a lot of history there, but… why not just remove the rules for now? The game changed. You’re no longer friends who grab lunch on Tuesdays.
” She gathers her trash. “You live together. You’re married.
Can’t you be open to the idea of just seeing where this goes? Let yourself have some fun.”
I toss my napkin in my empty bowl. “But will it still be fun when I’m starting over again, only it’s harder because I slept with the guy I care about?”
She shrugs. “That’s life, isn’t it? We don’t really know how it’s going to turn out. But damn, I’d sure be kicking my ass if I didn’t try to make things work with the guy who loved me.”
“Sabrina, it’s not like that. He…” I trail off because I don’t know how to respond.
He what?
He loves me, but not like that?
He loves me, but doesn’t say it?
She stands. “I think that’s exactly what it’s like.” She pauses, then adds, “I have to get back. Enjoy your time with Matt.”
I stand, meeting her in a hug.
“Just fuck him already,” she whispers in my ear with a laugh.
“Shut up,” I laugh out.
“Bye,” she says in a sing-song voice.
“Bye.”
Twenty-five minutes later, I’m in the elevator of Matt’s building with three different sushi rolls in a bag.
We’ve been texting all day. It seems like he’s had an extra busy and stressful day with back-to-back meetings. Apparently, there was a problem with one of the Switzerland deal documents too. Which—and I quote—has made it an absolute clusterfuck of a day.
I know he won’t get away for lunch. Which is fine—Matt has a chef he orders premade meals from for some of his lunches and dinners. But sushi? It’s easy to eat at a desk, and doesn’t need to be heated.
I reach the seventeenth floor and walk down the hall to the glass double doors that have Matthew Grayson printed on them. I pull them open and walk inside, only to be greeted by the one and only twenty-something-year-old Harper.
She was such a joy the first time I met her. I can’t wait to see what fresh hell she has in store for me today.
“Hi,” she says with a smile, looking up from her computer. The smile falls the second she sees me. “How can I help you?”
“Hi, Harper,” I say, forcing a smile and some cheer into my voice. “I’m here to see Matt. I have some food to drop off for him.”
“Oh. You can just leave it here, and I’ll take it back to him in a few minutes.”
What the hell?
She turns back to her computer, clicking away.
Does she really think I’m just going to leave it here?
“No. I think I’d like to take it back to him, if that’s okay.”
“He’s in a meeting.” She doesn’t so much as glance at me.
“In person or on the phone?” I ask. Because if he’s with someone, fine. But if he’s on the phone, I know he’d be more than okay with me coming back there. He’d want me to.
She huffs out a breath of annoyance, finally looking up. “He’s on a call. But like I said the first time, I’ll take it back to him as soon as he’s available. He doesn’t like to be bothered when he’s in a meeting.”
I know what this is. And I’m not playing this game with her.
“That’s fine. I’ll just text him. Let him know I’m here.”
I pull out my phone. She rolls her eyes and presses a button on the intercom.
“Mr. Grayson?” she calls out.
Matt’s voice comes through the speaker. “What’s up, Harper? I’m on a call.” He sounds a little irritated that she bothered him, which makes me feel bad, sort of.
“There’s someone here to see you.” She glances at me. “I’m sorry, what’s your name again?”
“Jordan.” Then, with a smile, I add, “His wife.”
She flinches and scowls, completely thrown and flustered.
Matt chuckles on the other end. “You can send her back,” he says before hanging up.
I don’t wait for permission from Harper. I just grin, satisfaction seeping through every inch of me as I turn down the hall that leads to his office.
I knock softly before entering, even though I know he can’t respond.
I lift the bag of food, and his eyes light up when he sees it, holding up a hand and mouthing Give me five.
I walk over to his sitting area and pull out the sushi, setting up a little spread for him.
I cross my legs, leaning back on his couch. Might as well use this time to respond to some work emails. I don’t have a lot of time before I need to leave, so I hope his call doesn’t last long.
Sabrina texts me.
Sabrina
Picking up lunch for the hubby… four weeks max
I laugh softly, Matt’s gaze pulling to me. His brows furrow in question and I shake my head.
BET ME.
Sabrina
$300. Just enough to make it interesting.
You’re on.
I’m not even worried.
Because it’s not happening.
Matt knows it. I know it.
I scroll down to the unread message from my mamá. She sent it two days ago. I haven’t opened it because I didn’t need to. It’s short. To the point. And I read it when it came in as a notification. You owe your yiayiá and pappoús an apology.
Yeah… I guess I do.
But don’t they owe me one? Doesn’t everyone?
All I did was live. I made a choice that affected my life to help someone in need—two people in need. People who have always loved me no matter what and never judged. And somehow I’m still the one made to feel bad. I always end up apologizing.
This will be no different, I’m sure of it. It’s only a matter of time.
Matt finally ends his call, standing immediately to join me on the couch.
“Sorry to keep you waiting. Today’s been a shitshow.” He sits down beside me and leans forward, picking up his chopsticks. “Aren’t you eating?”
I shake my head. “No. I ate with Sabrina. I just worried you wouldn’t make time for lunch. I knew you were busy.”
“Shit, babe.” His gaze meets mine. “That was really nice of you. You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know,” I say, a smile playing on my lips. “I wanted to. You work hard. You deserve to eat.” I pat his thigh, letting my hand linger a beat.
I glance at my watch. “I should probably get going, actually.” I pull my hand back and stand. “What time will you be home tonight?” I’m genuinely curious because I like to know, but also, I want to hang out with him tonight.
He stands too, letting out a heavy breath. “Shit. I don’t know. Probably going to be a late one. But I’ll try to sneak out early and finish my work at home.”
“Alright.” I just stand there, lingering, like I’m waiting for him to do or say something to satisfy this urge I have to be near him.
“Did Harper give you a tough time again?” His mouth twitches. “His wife?” He chuckles low. “That was a jab. A power play.”
My cheeks heat. God, that was a bitchy thing to do. So she’s got a crush on Matt. Who wouldn’t? Am I really that threatened by her? She’s not even his type.
“I’m sorry. That was petty.”
He stops me. “Not petty. You stated facts. She was probably shocked to hell, but hey—someone had to tell her.” He grins, slipping his fingers through mine. “Come on. I’ll walk you out.”
I follow him down the hall to the reception area, and he stops right in front of Harper. He turns to me, hands sliding to my hips like he doesn’t want me going anywhere yet.
“Have a good rest of your day,” he says, his gaze directly on me.
I’m not sure what to do with my hands—mostly because I’m not sure what he’s doing.
They land somewhere between his stomach and chest, sliding toward his back.
Harper’s sitting at her desk, pretending to type, but I can feel her watching.
God, it’s hot in here.
Matt’s thumbs press lightly at my waist, and then his hands lift until he’s cupping my face.
My breath catches. My pulse grows louder.
Holy shit.
His lips press against mine—slow, deliberate. Like he has nothing to do and nowhere to go.
I soften into him without thinking, kissing him back like it’s all too familiar, remembering this. The way he feels. The way he tastes. The way my body reacts.
It’s not quick. Not polite.
And it’s not for show, either.
It’s Matt.
Claiming me.
His way of telling Harper to fuck off without saying a word, because he doesn’t have to. He’s just kissing his wife.
And it’s hot as hell.
He starts to pull back, but my hand is already sliding up his chest and around his neck as I crush my mouth into his again, harder this time.
My brain tells me to stop.
My mouth doesn’t listen.
I open for him, tongue sliding in, and the sound that leaves his throat makes my knees go soft.
I pull back first, barely. Matt’s teeth scrape my lower lip, and I swear I feel it everywhere.
I brace myself against him, trying to remember how to breathe. To ground myself because—what the hell was that? And how do I play it off as normal?
Matt’s eyes lock on mine, his chest rising and falling, nostrils flaring, almost like he’s mad.
“Fuck, babe,” he murmurs. He kisses my forehead. “I’ll see you at home. Thanks for lunch.”
He’s gone before I can form a coherent sentence.
My limbs tremble as I turn for the door, Harper’s glare burning into my back. I look down at the text that comes through while walking down the hall.
Sabrina
Done!
Shit.