Chapter 50
Chapter Fifty
JORDAN
Three Months Later
The spinner ticks, the clicks slowing as it comes to a stop on the Game of Life board.
“Five,” I say, picking up my yellow van and moving it five spaces. “Trade salary card with any player.” I laugh, clap my hands together, and shout, “Yes!”
I throw my hand up to Cole for a high-five. He smacks it with a grin, and I swipe Matt’s salary card from in front of him, replacing it with my shitty twenty-thousand dollar one.
“This is bullshit,” Matt says.
I just laugh while Cole makes an L with his thumb and index finger, slowly drags it across his forehead, and says, “Sucks to suck,” before bursting into laughter.
I glance between Matt and Cole, and we both lose it even harder.
Matt’s arms are crossed, one eyebrow lifted high, completely unamused.
Game nights have quickly become one of my favorite parts of the week. Matt always wins. Every. Single. Time. But Cole and I love teaming up and giving him shit. It’s too much fun, and most nights we end up laughing until our sides hurt.
“How does it feel to no longer be the breadwinner?” I ask, smug as hell. I have absolutely no reason to be. I’m losing by a long shot.
“So far I’m not loving it,” he says flatly. “You must be one hell of an artist if you just stole my doctor salary.”
“I’m obviously very good.”
He scoffs. “Fuck this,” he mutters under his breath.
I suck in a dramatic gasp, whipping my head toward Cole with wide eyes.
“You owe me another ice-cream,” Cole says coolly.
“Seriously?” I say to Matt. “You’re going to give him diabetes.”
Matt’s never been great at filtering, so he made a deal with Cole: every time Matt says the f-word around him, he owes Cole ice-cream.
It’s not going great. Matt owes him more ice-cream than he can keep track of. It’s mostly for fun anyway. It’s not like Cole doesn’t hear worse at school or in the music he listens to. Hell, he probably says it behind our backs. I know I did at that age.
“Well, Christ. I’ve been sitting pretty this whole game,” Matt grumbles. “Doctor. Highest salary card. Best house.”
“Oh, relax,” I say. “We’re more than halfway through the game. You’re clearly going to win. Besides, you get the highest salary card in real life.” I flash a grin his way. “But I’m still going to enjoy every single payday from here on out.”
I turn to Cole. “Your turn, bud.”
He spins. “Six.” He moves his blue van and reads the space aloud.
We’re in New York for the weekend for Megan’s birthday. We all went out last night, and Cole slept over at Jensen’s parents’ house. Tomorrow we’re going to my grandparents’ house for dinner, then we head to Hawaii on Monday morning for Cole’s spring break.
We’ve been living mostly in Chicago, letting Cole finish out the school year before we make any final decisions about where we want to be permanently.
Sherry’s kitchen remodel wrapped up in January, so I was traveling quite a bit right after we got guardianship of Cole. Things have settled now. Sherry wanted me for another big project, but I gave it to Sabrina. For the moment, I’ve stepped away from work.
It wasn’t an easy decision, but Cole needs us, and I wanted to be more present for him.
I’m still playing around with the idea of starting my own company someday, but until we know where we’re going to live, it’s on the back burner.
Matt immediately offered to fund it, of course he did.
Technically it’s my money now too, but it’s not the same.
If I do move forward, it’s something I really want to do on my own. For me.
He suggested he and Leo invest as silent partners instead. I told him I’d think about it.
Matt takes his turn, spins, and moves his van seven spaces.
He’s never loved board games, but Cole does, and so do I. Matt’s the one who’s made it a weekly thing. Every Thursday he leaves work early, picks up dinner, and brings it home. After we eat, we head to the game room for a night of laughter, trash talk, and getting our asses handed to us by him.
He does it just for us. Because he’d rather be doing something he doesn’t like with the people he loves than doing something he loves without us.
That’s just the kind of man he is.
And God, I love him.
I never thought something this simple could make me feel whole.
But it does.
“Babe,” Matt’s voice cuts through my thoughts. “Your turn.”
I spin again and move my van four spaces. “I’ve got another baby girl,” I say, glancing at Matt with a smile.
“Jesus. You’ve got like four fucking kids.”
“Matt!” I scold.
“That’s another ice-cream,” Cole says casually.
I check my watch. “Cole, buddy, it’s getting late. You’ll have to get to bed as soon as we finish, alright?”
“Oh, come onnnn, Jordan. Don’t be that kind of mom,” he teases.
I flinch, caught off guard.
Don’t be that kind of mom.
My eyes sting, and I blink quickly, looking away.
“Shit,” I say, as coolly as I can. “I’ve got something in my eye.”
I rub at it, trying to convince even myself that it’s true.
It’s no use. I’m three seconds from tears. “Excuse me,” I say softly. “I’ll be right back.”
I push up from the table and head for our bedroom, passing two different bathrooms along the way.
I grab a tissue from my nightstand and sit on the edge of the bed, dabbing at my eyes and blowing my nose.
I’m not even sure what this is. I just feel… overwhelmed. Grateful. Happy.
Matt steps quietly into the room.
I glance over at him, rolling my eyes at myself. “God. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize, babe. We’re fine.”
He comes to the bed and takes my hands, pulling me up before wrapping his arms around me. “You okay?” he murmurs into my hair.
I tuck my arms beneath his, sliding them around his back as another wave of emotion hits.
“Yeah,” I cry, shaking my head against his chest. “This is so dumb. It’s not like he called me mom. I don’t even want that. I just—the way he said it, like it was so natural. And then I looked at you, and then him…” I trail off.
He doesn’t say anything, just rubs my back, patient as ever.
“I was just thinking how great everything is. How happy I am. And then he said this simple thing and it just hit me, right in this place I didn’t even know existed.
” My eyes fill again, blurring everything, and I sniff hard.
“I know I’m not a mom, but—” I squeeze my eyes shut, tears slipping free.
“He just made me feel like one. And it was really beautiful.”
“You don’t have to have your own kid to be a mom, babe. What you do every day for Cole makes you a mom.”
I wrap my arms tighter around him.
He really is the best.
“Sometimes I just get scared,” I whisper.
“Scared?”
“Yeah,” I admit. “I’m just… so close to having everything I’ve ever wanted that sometimes I’m afraid I’m going to wake up and it’ll all be gone. Like this is too good to be true.”
He pulls back, slides his hands around my jaw, and tilts my chin up. His thumb sweeps across my cheek, wiping away the moisture. “Babe, none of this is going anywhere. I’m not going anywhere. And I’ve got thirty years to back that shit up. I hate to break it to you, but you’re stuck with me.”
My lips curve. “I could think of worse people to be stuck with.”
He makes a face. “Christopher and Andrea?”
A laugh forces its way out of me. “Oh my God. Yes. That would actually be torture. I don’t even know how I’m going to handle seeing them every day for a week in Greece.”
“Guys?” Cole shouts from the kitchen. “Are we finishing the game or what?”
“We’re coming!” Matt hollers back.
Then his gaze settles on mine. “You’re not losing us. Not me. Not him.” He presses a kiss to my lips, then grins. “But I’m still going to kick your ass tonight. You know I don’t lose.”
I lift a brow. “I see your ego is still perfectly fine after losing your salary card.”
He chuckles. “It’s all a part of the plan. I’ve got you right where I want you.”
“Right,” I say as I turn for the bathroom. “I’m going to clean up my face real quick. I’ll be right there.”
“Take your time,” he says, backing toward the door. “We’ll wait for you.”
I click between tabs, saving another pair of Stefana into my wedding folder. I’ve managed to cut down a few options tonight. That is, until I inevitably change my mind again.
Matt flips the bathroom light off on his way out and makes his way to the bed. He plugs his phone into the charger, then slips under the covers beside me, sneaking a glance at my laptop.
“You still looking at crowns?” he asks.
“Mhm,” I hum. “I’ve narrowed it to down to my top three. You wanna help me pick?”
“Sure.” He slides closer, draping his arm around my shoulders and the throne of pillows I have stacked behind me.
I shift my computer so it’s angled toward him, showing him the three Stefana side by side.
“Hmm. And you’re still set on these flowery ones?” he asks.
I give him a side glance. “They’re not flowers. They’re olive branches. I love the simplicity of them. They’re beautiful and timeless.”
He grunts.
I turn my head. “You hate all of them?”
“Hate’s a strong word,” he says. “I just—I mean, if I have to wear a crown, I picture something a little more masculine. Big. Gold. Something that says, I’ve got BDE and I’m the king. Not this dainty flower thing.” He gestures at the screen. “This says, My wife has me by the balls.”
“I do have you by the balls,” I say evenly.
He grins. “I know that. But I don’t want everyone else to know.”
“A man who’s confident with his masculinity could wear a floral crown with no problem.”
He cocks a brow, his voice deepening. “Do you need me to prove to you how comfortable I am with my masculinity?”
His hand slides to the back of my neck and he pulls me closer, nipping at my bottom lip.
“You don’t need to prove anything,” I say softly, pressing my mouth to his all the way. “You’re Matthew Grayson. It’s a Greek wedding. It’s normal. And only our closest friends will be there anyway.”
“You know I’ll wear whatever you pick, babe. But if I have a say, out of the three of these, I’d choose this one.”
He points to the one I secretly wanted him to, and my lips curve into a smile.
“That one’s perfect,” I say, closing my laptop. I set it on the nightstand while Matt slumps down the bed until he’s lying flat, extending his arm so I can curl into him. I rest my ear in the crook of his shoulder, drape a leg over his, and smooth my hand over the rigid plane of his chest.
It’s quiet for a minute as we acclimate, softening into each other until the warmth of his body blends with mine.
My fingers dance across his skin, over his firm sculpted pec to the silver cross resting at the base of his throat.
I toy with it, picking it up and smoothing it between my fingers.
Matt was nineteen when his grandpa died.
I hated that I wasn’t there—I was in France, but I flew in for the funeral.
I remember thinking how weird it was that Matt didn’t cry.
Not once. He stood there like stone. Eerily calm.
Numb. Hollow. Like something essential had been carved out of him for good.
His mom told him his grandfather’s last wish was that he keep his cross and wear it, so he’d remember he wasn’t alone, that he’d be watching over him.
Matt says he doesn’t believe in angels. He calls it his good-luck charm. But I’ve seen him touch it more than once when he’s thinking. When he’s worried. When he’s making a tough decision… like maybe he’s still talking to him.
A pang of sadness grips my chest as I think of everything he’s lost. His dad. His grandpa. Nate… and now his mother.
“Have you changed your mind about inviting your mom?” I ask, breaking the silence.
“No,” he replies simply, his voice rough with gravel.
I hesitate. “Are you sure you won’t regret it?”
He answers with an exhale first, his warm breath ghosting across my forehead. “I’m sure.”
I tilt my head, searching for his eyes. “You know I’ll support whatever you decide,” I say quietly. “I just don’t want you choosing this because of me.”
“I’m not. But of course you influence my decision.
I just don’t see that as a bad thing.” His palm moves to my back, rubbing small circles between my shoulder blades.
“Making you happy makes me happy. I’d never want someone at our wedding who would steal even the tiniest bit of joy from your day.
And I don’t care enough to put that burden on either of us. ”
I nod against his chest, my hand flattening over the necklace.
“Sometimes you don’t realize what you had until it’s gone,” he says, his voice soft and low. “And sometimes… you realize there was nothing there to lose.”
I wrap my arm around him, tightening my grip as I press a kiss to his chest.
A deep understanding settles over me.
Matt only lets go when something is broken beyond repair—his dad, business deals, his mom.
But he clings to the cross at his neck.
He stepped up for Cole.
And he waited. For twenty years, he waited for me.
Because when Matt loves someone, he holds on.
And damn, I’m lucky to be one of them.