Chapter 23
23
Half an hour later, I’m slumped against the red sofa on the far end of the room, nursing a beer and wondering how much longer I need to hang around before it’s socially acceptable to leave. I’m cycling through my mental Rolodex of exit strategies when I hear a familiar voice.
“Is it me or is that the saddest cowgirl you’ve ever seen?”
“Truly pathetic. I haven’t seen her look this depressed since James Corden nixed the idea of a One Direction reunion special.”
I lift my head slowly, not sure I can trust my ears. But there they are, the pair of them standing right in front of me like some kind of magical apparition.
“Shut up,” I breathe. “What are you doing here?”
My two best friends in the world exchange a grin.
“You honestly thought we wouldn’t come down here after you told us your sad-ass plans for the evening? What kind of friends would we be if we didn’t show up at the bachelor party of the man you share a secret tattoo with, are currently sleeping with, and happens to be the groom of a wedding you’re planning?” Chloe deadpans.
I bite down on my bottom lip as tears fill my eyes.
“That’s the stupidest sentence any person has ever said, and I don’t even care because I’m just so happy to see you guys,” I say, throwing my arms around them. Lexi squeezes my waist and whispers in my ear, “We would never let you go through this alone. One for all, and all for one, remember?”
The threatening tears spill over, soaking the scratchy fabric of Lexi’s dress. I pull away to study her outfit. She’s wearing a belted denim dress with a red kerchief knotted around her neck. And Chloe looks flawless per usual, in a fringed, black leather miniskirt paired with studded cowboy boots.
“Damn,” I sniffle. “You even dressed to the theme. That’s true friendship.”
Claire and Graham materialize behind them.
“You must be Ali’s friends!” Claire says. “So glad you could make it!” She throws her arms around Chloe, either not noticing or not caring that my friend, who is generally not a fan of hugging, has gone ramrod straight, her own arms tightly at her sides, before moving onto Lexi, who graciously hugs her back.
“I’m Claire, the bride!” Claire announces as she straightens, a huge smile on her face. “Oh, and this is the groom, of course.” Graham cringes almost imperceptibly at the title, and I can tell by the way my friends’ heads snap to him that they don’t miss it. Lexi and Chloe exchange a knowing glance.
“You’re just in time,” Claire continues. “The bunnies are about to go on.”
I raise my eyebrows. “The bunnies?”
Just then, a country song I don’t recognize pours through the overhead speakers, and a trio of women in cropped tees and assless chaps mount the bar top in front of us. In perfect synchronicity, they start line dancing. Claire dashes toward them and one reaches forward to help her up onto the table so she can join in.
“What in the Coyote Ugly…?” Lexi asks.
Chloe’s eyes go wide. “I think I like Baltimore,” she murmurs.
Graham turns back to my friends. “Let me buy you both a drink,” he says. “What’s your poison?”
“A whiskey sour for me,” Lexi says. “Chloe typically drinks the tears of reality stars after crushing their dreams of launching a namesake vodka brand. But if they don’t have that, a Jack and Coke will do.”
“I’ll see what I can rustle up,” Graham says. “I’d hate for you to have to lower your standards on our behalf.”
Chloe grins at him. “Thanks for being an ally.”
When he departs, Chloe turns to look at me with a pleased twinkle in her eye.
“Don’t even think about it,” I warn her. “You are not allowed to like him.”
“Too late,” she replies as she reaches for my beer. “I’m completely charmed. Which means everything because I am an excellent judge of character.” She grimaces as she lowers the bottle.
“Ugh, what is this shit?” she asks, scowling at the foamy liquid.
“Natty Boh. It’s locally brewed. Not exactly Baltimore’s finest accomplishment, unfortunately.”
“It tastes like urine and unfulfilled dreams.”
“Remind me not to offer you a shot of Old Bay vodka.”
Chloe shudders.
Graham returns a moment later, clutching two drinks. He hands one to each of my friends.
“So,” Lexi says, lowering her voice as she leans toward him. “What are your intentions with our friend? Be aware that if you hurt her, I have mafia connections.” She puts on her best “I could kill you” face as she says it, which makes her look as ferocious as a Pixar kitten. I raise an eyebrow, because as far as I know, her closest connection to the mafia is that she and Jake once ate at a Little Italy restaurant where a scene from The Godfather took place. For a week afterward, Jake walked around the apartment saying, “Leave the gun, take the cannoli.”
“Way to cut to the chase, Lex,” Chloe murmurs.
Graham’s face softens. “I know the situation is less than ideal. But I promise you, I care about Ali. And I would never hurt her.”
His words curl through my chest, warming me. But the cold grip of reality quickly replaces it. Because no matter how hard we try, there is no way either of us is going to emerge from this unscathed. It’s just too complicated.
“Let’s not do this here,” I say, my eyes darting around the room in search of potential eavesdroppers. Thankfully, we seem to be in the clear; between the music pouring through the overhead speakers, the clanging of glass bottles, and the dozens of overlapping voices surrounding us, it doesn’t seem likely that our conversation will be overheard. Still, I can’t risk having this discussion right now, in a space filled with guests who think Graham and Claire are madly in love.
And speaking of which, Claire sidles up to us. She’s ditched her stick horse, and her cowboy hat is now sitting slightly askew.
“Heyyyyy,” she crows, and I can tell by the slight slur to her words that she’s already tipsy. “What do you guys say to a game of shuffleboard? I’m dying to get to know Ali’s friends better.”
And that’s how we end up stationed at the shuffleboard table in the opposite corner of the room. Graham and Chloe are on one team and Lexi and I are on the other, with Claire playing referee. But since teammates face each other, Graham and I are standing next to each other. Naturally. The smell of his cologne is intoxicating, his signature scent filling my pores. Attempting to get my head on straight, I narrow my eyes at him and put on my best game face.
“You’re going down,” I tell him.
Graham smirks at me. “I’ve heard that one before. But you’ve yet to deliver.”
“You guys have played shuffleboard together?” Claire asks. We both whip our heads around to look at her. Her forehead is crinkled in confusion. I really need to do a better job of regulating my conversation. Those two drinks I had have gone straight to my head.
“Oh… I just meant…,” I stammer. Luckily, Chloe jumps in. Bless her heart.
“Claire, are you sure you don’t want to play?” she asks. “You can take my spot.”
Claire grins, then shakes her head. “I’ve actually got a better idea,” she says. “I thought we’d spice this game up with a round of Never Have I Ever. I’ll list the deeds, and if you’re guilty, you drink. The best way to get to know each other!”
“Those aren’t exactly the rules,” Lexi hedges, and Chloe rolls her eyes.
“The only person who’s going to be sober at the end of this is Lexi,” she deadpans.
“Um, rude,” Lexi replies.
“Come on, it’ll be fun,” Claire protests. My insides churn. I’ve never thrived during a game of Never Have I Ever, and I’m not keen on having personal secrets revealed to a client. Especially not one engaged to my… whatever he is. At the same time, I’m not trying to rock the boat, and I’m certain that too much protestation on my end will look suspicious.
“You got it, Claire,” I say gamely. “But you’re playing too.”
She grins. “I knew you’d be down!” she says triumphantly. She begins scrolling through her phone in search of a question list.
“Okay,” she says. “Let’s start off easy. Never have I ever… played hooky from school.” Chloe and I exchange a smirk as we raise our drinks to our lips.
“Oooh, spill, ” Claire says excitedly.
“It’s not that scandalous,” I say. “During Senior Ditch Day in high school, a few of my friends and I went to the movie theater to see Neighbors. I was going through a major Zac Efron phase in 2014.”
Claire nods sagely. “Pretty sure everyone was going through a Zac Efron phase in 2014.” She clears her throat, then scrolls down.
“I didn’t participate in Senior Ditch Day,” Lexi sniffs.
“Shocking,” Chloe and I reply simultaneously.
Claire giggles. “You guys are fun.” She returns her attention to her phone. Her eyes light up when she finds one she likes and she grins devilishly at Graham.
“Here’s a good one for you. Never have I ever gotten a tattoo.”
Graham chokes on his beer.
Lexi sighs. “You guys were right. This is a boring game for me.” Chloe shakes her head as she takes a sip of beer. She has a tiny heart tattoo on the inside of her wrist. It’s subtle and adorable. I’m kind of obsessed with it.
Claire’s face lights up when I also raise my glass. “Oh, fun!” she says. “What sort of tattoo is it? Or do you have multiple?”
“Just the one. And it’s hideous,” I say. “I’ll skip the details to spare you the trauma.”
Claire snorts. “It can’t be any worse than this tattoo Graham got in college.”
“You might be surprised,” Chloe deadpans. I shoot her daggers with my eyes from across the shuffleboard table.
I glance over at Graham, whose cheeks have turned a violent shade of crimson.
“You’re up,” I say.
He swings his gaze toward me. “What?” he asks hoarsely.
“It’s your turn. At shuffleboard,” I say.
“Oh. Right.” He rolls his shoulders backward, then swings a puck across the board. Claire lets out a hoot before it crosses the “2” line.
“Foul! You crossed the foul line.” She smirks at Graham. “Better luck next time, Teddy Bear.”
She clears her throat as she glances down at the list of prompts on her phone. “Okay, let’s see. Never have I ever performed karaoke in public.”
“Yes!” Lexi thrusts a triumphant fist into the air as she takes a long sip of beer. “Making a comeback.”
Claire grins. “Okay, this one is meh. Never have I ever lost a bet.”
This time, it’s Lexi who chokes, and Chloe claps her on the back.
“Careful there, cowgirl.”
At first, no one dares to take a drink. But then, with a resigned slump of his shoulders, Graham reaches for his glass, and I follow suit.
Claire’s eyes are gleeful. “Ali, I’m sure you ultimately served justice. But Teddy? You’re too straitlaced to make a bet you can’t win. Tell us the story.”
Graham’s eyes drop to the ground, and he bites his bottom lip.
“Graham!” Claire says, a bit harder. An uncharacteristic edge has creeped into her voice now and I can tell she’s bothered that he’s kept this from her. “This evasiveness has now fully sparked my curiosity. Spill, dude!”
I fully expect Graham to make up a story, but when he lifts his eyes to reveal the tortured look etched across his face, my stomach bottoms out. He wouldn’t dare.
Would he?
“I never told you the full story about the tattoo,” he says quietly. From across the table, I can hear my friends’ sharp intake of breath.
“I got it after losing a bet to a woman I met in a bar.”
Claire leans forward, propping her chin. “Shut up. I can’t imagine you doing something like that. She must have been wild. And beautiful.”
Graham turns to look at me. “She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.”
My heart thunders against my chest as my body turns cold. This is it. It’s really happening. I wanted Claire to know the truth, but now that the moment is upon us, I’m horrified by the prospect. The timing, the setting. Everything about this is wrong.
“Graham,” I say hoarsely. But before I can say another word, a man with a dark head of curls bounces over and throws his arm around Claire’s shoulders.
“It’s almost midnight!” he announces a bit too loudly. He grins at Claire. “Everyone’s looking forward to seeing the almost newlyweds ring in the new year with a kiss.”
Graham blanches. Despite their decision to hold their engagement party on New Year’s Eve, I don’t think it has occurred to him until this moment that everyone would expect the holiday’s requisite PDA.
“Oh! Jake’s calling,” Lexi says, offering a blessed interruption as she stares at the vibrating phone in her hand. She taps on her phone to accept the FaceTime call and Jake’s dimpled face fills the screen.
“Jake!” Lexi says happily. “How are you calling me right now? Aren’t you in the middle of a concert?”
“I’m backstage before my encore,” he says breathlessly. “But I had to see you at midnight. It’s kind of our anniversary.”
Lexi’s eyes fill with tears as she nods. “I guess you could say that.”
“Holy shit. Is that Jake Taylor? Wait… oh my God. You’re that Lexi?” Claire leans over Lexi’s shoulder, staring slack-jawed at the phone screen in Lexi’s hand. Not that Lexi seems to notice. She and Jake are grinning at each other like a pair of lovesick teens in a John Green novel.
My heart twists as I watch my best friend and the man she loves. As much as I’ve tried to deny it, this is what I truly want: a man who loves me wholly and unequivocally. No sneaking around or subterfuge; just two people who only have eyes for each other and aren’t afraid to let the world know it. And my heart twists a little when I realize Graham and I can never look at each other like that. Not in public at least. The thought turns my stomach to lead.
There’s a deafening roar of fans chanting Jake’s name.
“I’ve got to go,” he tells Lexi. “But I love you, Lex. Always.”
“I love you too,” she whispers, pressing her lips to the screen before disconnecting the call.
“One minute until midnight!” someone calls.
A crowd gathers around me, jostling Graham and Claire together. The air around me starts to feel too hot, the bodies around me too close.
“Ready to smooch, lovebirds?” someone teases.
Graham and Claire are standing next to each other now, Claire playfully throwing her arm around his neck in preparation. Even though I know it’s not real, that there’s nothing romantic between them, I can’t help but feel jealous. And hurt.
Despite my best intentions, I have fallen head over heels for this man. And the truth is, I want what Lexi and Jake have. To be the rising sun on someone’s horizon. To be loved boldly and openly. To not have to hide the way I feel.
Graham turns to me, and I know he can read it all on my face. The helpless look in his eyes threatens to crack my heart in half.
“Ten, nine, eight…”
I turn on my heel, heading toward the door. I’m on the street before they ever reach one.