8. Beau
8
BEAU
T o be honest, I always thought Andrew would be the last of us siblings to settle down and get married. Though, when he met Josie, I had a feeling almost immediately she was the one for him. She matches his chaotic energy, all while being her bubbly self.
I watch Marley from across the small room we’re all huddled in before the ceremony starts. Voices carry through the closed doors, signaling the arrival of guests and nearing ceremony. Marley sits at a small table with Jason and my niece Lennie. Lennie has always had a special bond with Marley, probably because she’s the only young girl she’s been around until Josie came around.
Marley fixes a hair that has come loose out of Lennie’s curled hair, tucking the pinned flower back in place. I watch her closely, dreaming of how good of a mother she will be someday.
The lingering thought is cut off by Gramps sitting down next to me, huffing a little as he adjusts in the chair. He sets his cane so it rests against the table next to me.
“Give me a few crackers, would you?” he says, skipping over the pleasantries of a greeting.
I chuckle under my breath, reaching over to grab a handful of crackers for him from the snack platter. “Hungry?” I ask.
“Your mom keeps stealing the snacks from me. She’s worried I’ll get crumbs all over my suit. But like I told her, I’m not a toddler.”
“No, you’re not,” I reply. Gramps had a head injury over a year ago now, and he hasn’t gotten back to where he used to be. He has to walk with a cane now, and the shaking in his hands hasn’t quite resolved. He goes to physical therapy and takes good care of himself, but it’s been hard to see the man my brothers and I look up to so much decline. It’s been even harder on our dad to watch his own father deteriorate like this.
I glance over at Marley again, telling myself it’s just to make sure she’s okay, but I know it’s because she looks like a literal angel from heaven today. Her dress hugs those thick curves I love so much. The sleeves are short on her shoulders, giving me a full view of all her tattoos. She reaches into the center of the table to grab another crayon for Lennie, and I spot the familiar tattoo on her inner arm which matches the one on mine—two hands clasped together, pulling one out of the water. No matter what happens, that tattoo will always tie us together, and I’m proud of it. A melancholy feeling washes over me, and I’m almost wary to dive deeper into it.
“If you keep lookin’ at her like that, Thomas might have to arrest you for stalking,” Gramps says, bringing my attention back to him.
I narrow my eyes. “I’m not looking at her like anything,” I mutter. “I wasn’t even looking at her.”
“Sure,” he chuckles. “And I was just doing jumping jacks. I don’t think I’ll ever understand you two.” He pats my knee. “You deserve to be happy, Beau. She’s your happiness.”
I nod, my throat tightening as a wave of insecurity drops on me like a bucket of cold water. “I don’t think I can be her happiness.”
“Why not?” he asks, more sincere than sarcastic.
“Because… I’m not the right person for her. I’ve been told it before, and I never want to hear it again.”
“Who told you that?” his voice is irritated, dancing on the verge of anger.
“Doesn’t matter. They told the truth, and I need to keep that boundary up.”
Gramps shakes his head, muttering something under his breath. I think I catch “damn fool” though, I’m not sure. He sits for another minute, thankfully dropping the conversation, then saying he’s going to check in with the bride and groom.
He grunts as he tries to stand. I help him out of the chair, watching him walk toward where Andrew and Josie sit together at another table. Probably off to impart some wisdom, or something like that.
It’s actually pretty cute, Gramps has called Josie Cindy since the day he met her. Andrew considered her his missing Cinderella until Marley set them up on their blind date, which in turn gave Gramps the idea for the nickname.
To be honest, if Jason and Thomas ever get married, the women they marry have a lot to live up to between Marley and Josie. Even though Marley isn’t technically family, all my brothers consider her their sister.
She’s never been like a sister to me.
Fallon claps her hands together as she enters the room, her blonde hair still perfectly curled, despite her running around all day, doing all the last-minute tasks. “Showtime, ladies and gentleman!” she calls. We all rise, making our way out of the room and into the spots we were designated last night.
I make my way over to where Marley stands, fidgeting with the large bouquet of orange flowers in her hand. It’s like the world quiets when it’s just me and her. The background noise fades, leaving me staring into those chocolate brown eyes, the ones that hold so many secrets and so many truths about us.
“Ready?” I ask. My throat tightens when I realize that this might be the only time I get to walk down an aisle with her on my arm. The sadness from earlier returns, this time with a vengeance.
I offer out my arm to her, and Marley nods. Slowly sliding her arm into mine, I relish this feeling of closeness to her, wondering if this is as close as we'll ever be to something more.