16. Beau
16
BEAU
I push Marley’s hair back behind her ear, and stare into those gold-brown eyes which are so captivating, so torn between emotions.
“Come on,” I say, pulling her out of the bathroom, leaving the positive pregnancy tests on the counter. I bring her back to the couch, opening the blanket for her to sit. “Stay,” I order, pointing my finger at her. If she wasn’t feeling so crummy, I’m sure she would fight me, but thankfully, she’s content to lean back, and wrap herself in the fluffy navy blanket.
I head into the kitchen, monitoring her at all times, satisfying an inherent need to make sure she’s okay. I take a glass out of the cupboard, fill it with ice, and grab the ginger ale from the bag. I pop the tab open and pour it into the glass, listening to it fizz.
I grab the other things I purchased at the store, a pack of ginger candy and saltine crackers. Heading back to the couch, I take in Marley. The direction of our lives has changed so drastically in the last hour, but yet… I don’t feel panicked. I don’t feel out of sorts or a mess. I feel… steady, like I have a purpose. To take care of Marley and our baby. To care for them and keep them safe.
“Here, try this,” I say, offering her the glass. “It might feel good on your stomach.”
She takes the glass, and sips it cautiously. ‘‘Thanks.”
I sit down beside her, resting my hand on her thigh. “How do you feel?” I ask.
“Mentally? Or physically?” she asks in return.
“Both,” I suggest, offering her the lead.
She tilts her head down, her hair covering her pale face. “Physically, I feel like I got hit by a truck. It makes sense. I’ve been exhausted, and well… you saw the vomit.” A hint of color makes its way back to her cheeks at the last comment. “Mentally, I have no idea. I think I’m numb. Or maybe dreaming.”
I reach over, squeezing her thigh. “You aren’t dreaming. Waking up to find you gone… I thought maybe I’d dreamt the whole thing. Marley… this isn’t a one-night thing for me.” I put all my emotions into my words. “I’m here for the long haul. For us.”
Tears stream down her cheeks again, and she swipes them away with irritation. “I don’t know what to say,” she murmurs, voice breaking.
“Say we can give this a try.” I wipe her tears with my thumb, tilting her head up to look at me. “I’ve wanted this since we were kids. I was too scared to lose you, scared of other people’s reactions, but I realize now that never having you is worse.”
Marley is silent for a long moment. “I don’t think I can give you an answer right now,” she says. “My mind is so all over the place, thinking of all the things we have to do, and the fact that I’m pregnant. I can’t focus on anything else right now. I don’t know whether to be happy or terrified.”
I nod. “I can understand that. I just need you to know that I’m here. That I’m not letting you go.”
I pull her in for a hug, swearing to myself that I will do anything for this woman, anything for her future, for the future of our unborn child, and for our future together.
“What are we going to tell our parents?” Marley cries. “My parents always talked to me about the importance of safe sex, how teen pregnancy could be an uphill road.”
“Marley…” I chuckle. “We aren’t teens. We’re thirty-two.”
She stiffens. “It feels so scandalous, pregnant, from a one-night stand? What will people say?”
“First off,” I say, squeezing her gently. “We aren’t a one-night stand.” I don’t let her interject, even when she tries to, putting a finger over her lips. “I doubt people are going to be surprised. Everyone assumes we are together, anyway.”
Marley thoughtfully nods. “Yeah. They do.”
“As for telling people, we can tell them whatever you want. We can tell them nothing at all. It’s all up to us.”
“Can we wait to tell people? At least for a bit?” Marley bites her lip, a hint of uncertainty in her eyes.
“Of course. However long you need.”
“Thank you,” she says, leaning her head on my shoulder. “I guess I need to find a doctor.”
“Yeah,” I say. “I want to come with to appointments, if that’s okay.”
“Absolutely. I don’t think I would want to go without you, anyway.” My heart thumps proudly at her confession. “Promise to stay at my head, though,” she says with a laugh.
“You got it,” I say, kissing the top of her head. I may not have all of her yet, but I’m one step closer. That we are having a baby together makes it that much sweeter. I hold her close as she slips deeply into a sleep that she needs.