48. Beau
48
BEAU
J ust over two hours after arriving, Marley and I are back in my car, heading toward home. The babies are both active with strong heartbeats and the contractions have ceased. They gave her some fluids and that seemed to help overall with how Marley was feeling.
Dr. Ness put Marley on bedrest, which I am secretly grateful for. She needs to rest, especially in the last few weeks of her pregnancy. Which means no sex, no extraneous activities, nothing.
We are meeting with Jake, a realtor I work with, tomorrow, to go over all the things about the house. We’re also going back to the house, so Marley can get a good look at it, and really make an informed decision, rather than the decision I made for both of us. I’m definitely going to be keeping an extra watchful eye on her tomorrow, and until the twins arrive. I don’t want anything to go wrong, and I want her to be as comfortable as possible.
I’ve been reflecting a lot in the last week since Marley and I had our argument. We’ve both been treading carefully, but I think things are better. Marley seems to be a bit more sure in where we stand, and I get that she’s not totally ready to go full- steam ahead with a relationship, but fuck, am I ever. I laid all my emotions and words out for her, told her where I am at. The ball is in her court now. I need her to be the one to take this next step, to tell me she’s all in, too.
I pull into her driveway, looking over at her sleeping form. She’s been exhausted lately, and I’m sure all the contractions from today didn’t help. I reach across the car, using the back of my knuckles to brush softly across her cheek. “Mar, we’re home.”
She wakes slowly, eyelashes fluttering open.
“Want to get into the cool air?” I suggest. The heat is nearing unbearable levels today, so I’m eager to get into the house too.
“Hmm,” she murmurs in agreement.
I get out and head to her side. She’s still sitting in the same position when I open her door. “Ready?” I offer her my open palm. She takes it, letting me guide her out of the car. She’s moving slow, like her entire body is aching, and I’m sure it is. Between the pregnancy, the wedding, and the minor scare today, she has to be exhausted.
I keep her hand in mine, leading her into the house. She breathes a long sigh when the air conditioned air hits her. “That feels so good,” she murmurs. I watch as her shoulders droop, no longer tense and tight.
“Want to shower?”
She nods. “That sounds amazing.”
Twenty-five minutes later, she’s walking into the bedroom in only her robe, her hair piled up in a towel on her head. I’m not ashamed to admit that I stood outside the bathroom door the entire time, making sure she didn’t need anything, only leaving when I heard her brushing her teeth.
There are dark circles under Marley’s eyes, showing me just how bone-deep her exhaustion runs.
“Sit down,” I tell her. She does so without complaint, and I grab a pair of underwear, cotton sleep shorts, and a t-shirt of mine from her drawer. I kneel before her, gazing up into her eyes.
She turns her face away, a red flush creeping up her chest and neck. Lifting her feet, I slide her underwear up her legs, then do the same with her shorts. The moment feels intimate, almost sensual, but in a comforting way. I rise from my knees, taking her hands to help her stand. I pull the underwear and shorts up underneath her robe, settling them on her hips. She lowers herself back to the bed, untying her robe. Her breasts fall from the fabric, her dark pink nipples hard and peaked under the cool air. It kills me, knowing that I can’t touch her, can’t make her feel as good as I know she deserves.
I help her into the baggy shirt, forever loving seeing her in my clothes. My cock grows achingly hard underneath my sweats, but I can’t do anything about it. I help her lay down, silently getting her comfortable with her pillow.
“Are you still wanting to go by the house tomorrow?” I ask, climbing into the bed behind her.
Marley reaches out, searching for my hand. “Yeah, I am. I want to see it again, and really start to plan things out.” I clasp our hands together, and she squeezes back gently. “Today scared me. I feel really unprepared.”
“Hey…” I murmur, scooting in closer. “What can I do to help? Do we need to push this off?”
She shakes her head. “No, surprisingly it’s not that. I mean like… a hospital bag. A plan. Who’s going to be at the birth center with us? My mom has been pressing me to come, but…”
I shudder softly. “I love your mom, and it’s totally up to you,” I tell her. “But… I wouldn’t mind it being just us two.”
“Oh thank god,” Marley sighs. “I don’t want her in the room. She can be in the waiting room. I figured you were going to be surprised, and be on her side, saying I need my mom there.”
I chuckle. “Butterfly, that is up to you. If you want her there, then she can be, but, if you don’t, I will help you tell her that.”
“She’s going to be so upset,” Marley whispers.
“Well, it’s a good thing she isn’t the one who’s pregnant,” I say, kissing the side of her neck. “So, we need to pack a hospital bag. We can do that tomorrow, after the meeting?”
“Yes, please,” Marley hums. “I know it sounds stupid, being that I could go into labor tomorrow, but if all goes well, can we make a plan for the next few weeks? What, with moving, and everything?”
“Absolutely,” I reply. “I’m happy to do whatever you need to make you comfortable.”
The meeting with Jake goes well, with Marley getting excited at the prospect of the nursery, and what will be our room. The possibilities are endless with the house, and I could see the wheels turning in her brain, this time for a good reason, rather than the anger that was welling up last time.
We’re back home now, sitting in the living room as we pack the hospital bag. Apparently there are all sorts of posts on the internet about what is totally necessary, and what isn’t, so Marley is treating the information like it’s a bible. The bag sits nearly empty in front of us, while we talk.
“If we decide to keep moving forward,” I say, swallowing a lump down my throat, “Closing would be in three weeks. You’d be about thirty-five weeks. We can either stay here until you’re comfortable and healed enough to move, or we can try to get as much done before the babies come.”
Marley folds a soft pastel-green onesie, and lays it in the bag as she thinks. “Right now, I feel okay with packing. I feel good about the house. I want to move forward. I almost want to try and get in and settled before they come.”
I nod, the feeling of everything coming together grounding me. I fold a baby blanket and put it to the side so Marley can put it in herself. I don’t think she’s realized it, but her nesting instincts have started to kick in. Just the other day, she had to rearrange the kitchen storage, and when I asked her why, she couldn’t give me a solid reason, only that it didn’t feel right the way it was.
“We can do that,” I say. “But if at any time, you change your mind, you have to tell me.” I raise my eyes, staring down at her intently. “You are going to be going through a lot of changes in the next few weeks, and I want to make sure you’re most comfortable throughout this.”
Marley looks up from the second onesie. “Thank you. I will. I promise. We’re working on communication, right?”
“Right,” I say.
She pauses for a moment. “I’m still working on it, I promise. But… I’m in this, Beau. I want us to be together, not just as co-parents. I want to be your partner. I want this.”
I reach out, taking her hand. “I want that too.”