54. Beau
54
BEAU
W e’ve been at this for hours, and don’t seem to be any closer to delivery. Marley’s exhausted, and I’m exhausted watching her. She’s been sitting at seven centimeters pretty much since we arrived, but her contractions are getting closer and stronger each time. Her water broke shortly after we got here, which I guess means things are way more painful now.
There’s a quick rapping knock on the door, and Dr. Ness and Peyton come in. Both are wearing bright smiles, a contrast to the frown marring Marley’s beautiful face.
Marley is standing in front of me, her body bent, elbows and arms resting on the bed, with her head on her hands. I’ve been massaging her back between and during contractions as she sways her body back and forth to try and ease the pain.
When they enter, Marley slowly straightens, giving them the fakest smile I’ve ever seen on her face. If I weren’t so anxious, I might laugh at her attempt to be kind while she’s this uncomfortable.
Peyton chuckles. “Dr. Ness wants to see how you’re doing. It’s been a while since your last check.”
Marley nods, sighing softly. “Beau?” she asks, gesturing to the bed.
I help her get in and attempt to get her in some semblance of comfort. Dr. Ness gets a set of gloves on, and sits down on the rolling stool.
They adjust the lights, and Peyton throws a blanket over Marley’s lap to cover her as Dr. Ness adjusts her hospital gown. She starts her examination, something Marley seems to have gotten used to, since she barely reacts.
“You’re ready,” Dr. Ness practically exclaims. “You’re at a nine, so by the time we get everything ready, you’ll be ready to push. One of the heads is sitting right there, just waiting. Peyton is going to coach you through a few practice pushes, while we get the rest of the crew. It’s about to get real crowded here.”
I look down at Marley who is mirroring my reaction. Both of our eyes are wide, mouths agape in shock. “You’re serious?” Marley asks.
“Honey, if I lied about that, I would get into a lot of trouble,” she replies with a chuckle. She snaps off her gloves, and pats Marley’s bare leg. “I’ll be back in about ten minutes, then we are going to have some babies!”
I think my brain is in a state of shock. Marley gazes up at me, brown eyes filling with tears. “I’m so scared,” she whispers.
Her fear knocks some of mine out. I need to be strong for her right now, I can’t show her how scared I am, afraid that something will go wrong. “You can do this,” I tell her, wiping her sweaty bangs off her face. “You’ve made it this far, and you’re going to run to the finish line.”
She nods, the tears falling down her cheeks. “We should probably send a text update, our moms are probably losing their minds. Oh, and can you text Marissa to come in?”
I’d completely forgotten that Marissa is in the waiting room, ready to come in to take pictures of the delivery. She offered to do it as a gift to Marley, and I’m glad, because now I can be present, and not have to worry about taking my own photos, and then we don’t need any of our family in the room. Don’t get me wrong, it would be amazing to have them here, but also, I want to have this moment for just Marley and I.
I nod, pulling my phone from my pocket and texting Marissa first. Once the message is sent, I pull up the group thread with everyone in it. Ignoring the previous messages asking for updates and how things are going, I send off a message.
Me
Almost time. Nine cm dilated, doing practice pushes. Will update later.
I put my phone away before any additional messages come through. I’m not going to worry about them right now. Focusing back on Marley, I notice that Peyton has her legs up in stirrups now, a bright light beaming down on her. I shudder. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to be so… displayed.
I look down at her, and help her adjust her pillow. “Feeling okay, love?” I ask.
“As good as I can be,” she replies. I kiss her swiftly, cupping her cheeks in my palms. When I pull away, she glances between her legs to Peyton, who smiles sweetly.
“Ready to practice?” Peyton asks.
Marley nods, and Peyton gives her some instructions on what to do. Right before she’s about to push with the next contraction, Marley looks up at me. “This is really happening.”
“It is,” I say. The contraction hits her, and Peyton starts to count to ten. Marley squeezes her eyes shut, her brows furrowing, face growing red with each passing second.
“Actually,” Peyton stops counting after five, her brows furrowing. “Stop pushing.”
Marley does with a heavy breath. “Why?”
“You’re a really good pusher, and I’m not about to catch my first baby. So, you’re going to hold them in while I go get Dr. Ness. Got it?” Peyton holds up her gloved hand, pointing at Marley.
Marley nods, eyes growing wide in shock. “Okay.”
Holy shit.
The room is suddenly full of people. All Peyton had to do was open the door and wave, and what feels like twenty five people are now crammed into the small space.
Marissa is ushered in, camera in hand. She comes to the head of the bed, and Marley reaches out. Marissa squeezes her hand, offering her a smile. She has a few kids of her own if I remember correctly, so she’s been on this end of things before. I wave at her, and watch as she steps back, allowing us to focus back on the nurses in the room. I notice that Mallory has entered the room now too, and is helping Dr. Ness get gowned and gloved up.
“There’s a lot of pressure happening down there,” Marley squeaks, her brows arched in confusion.
Peyton glances down, and Dr. Ness hops into action. “You would be right, Marley,” she says. “Baby is coming, so once you have another contraction, you’re going to start pushing, just like you practiced.”
My heart is thumping hard, because holy crap this is really happening. Marley nods, taking a deep breath. I kiss her forehead, taking her hand in both of mine, and I watch the monitor behind us spike, something I know now signifies a contraction. She bears down, tucking her chin to her chest and starts to push.
I’m completely in awe at this beautiful woman, the one who owns me, heart, body, and soul. She squeezes my hand at the same time, and I feel my knuckles crack, the muscles tightening, but I ignore the discomfort, because it’s nothing compared to her pain right now.
Marley lets out a low guttural moan as Peyton reaches ten, taking a deep breath before pushing again. Dr. Ness praises her, marveling at how well she’s doing.
This isn’t like the movies or shows I’ve seen. Marley isn’t screaming bloody murder, or crying out for drugs. She’s focused, bearing the pain with an insane amount of grit and tenacity. The only noise coming from her is the low groans that almost seem to be aiding in her ability to push.
“Good, the first baby’s head is out, Marley. Shoulders are next, then the baby will be out. You’ve got this,” Dr. Ness says with awe.
“I can’t believe I have to do this twice,” Marley groans. The contraction ceases, giving her a moment to catch her breath.
Peyton softly laughs. “You’re doing so good. Most people take a long time to get to this point.”
“I don’t know whether to smack you or thank you,” Marley says.
“You can do both, I don’t mind,” Peyton says.
I run my thumb over her hand, leaning down to rest my head on her shoulder. “You’re incredible, I can’t believe you’re doing this,” I tell her. “I love you so much, butterfly.”
Marley’s eyes soften, and she turns her head so our eyes meet. “I can’t believe this is real life. Are you sure this isn’t a dream?”
“Positive,” I say. She tilts her chin, searching for a kiss. When I press our lips together, her body relaxes. As we pull apart, Dr. Ness grabs my attention.
“Dad, do you want to see?” she asks from between Marley’s legs. I’m about to say yes, when Marley pinches my hand.
“Don’t. Even. Think. About. It,” she mutters, her voice murderous.
“Please?” I ask. “I won’t look at anything else, I just want to see the baby.”
She sighs. “Fine, but you can’t tell me anything about how it looks.”
I chuckle, kissing her again. I decide to look quickly so she doesn’t think I’m staring at her bits.
I glance quickly, seeing blood and goop covering the head of dark, thick hair. “It’s got our hair,” I tell her.
“Dark and thick?” Marley asks with a chuckle.
“Yep,” I reply. Another contraction starts as settle back in at the head of the bed, and she starts to push. This one is accompanied by another low moan, and my hand being squeezed into oblivion.
“Good, good,” Dr. Ness says. “Shoulders are out.”
And then our first baby is being placed on Marley’s chest, bright red and covered in white gunk, but screaming like no other.
“Baby boy!” Peyton says with glee, wiping him down and suctioning out his mouth. He screams, lungs clearly working. His hair is so dark, sticking down to his head, and his eyes are squeezed tightly shut, mouth open wide as he adjusts to life on the outside. “Congratulations, Mom and Dad!”
My eyes lift to Marley’s, tears streaming down my cheeks, as her hands fret over our son. “Oh my god,” she murmurs over and over again. “I made you. Hi, baby, oh hi. It’s okay, I know, baby. It’s so hard, you’re okay. You’re okay.” Both of us are crying.
“You look just like your daddy,” she cries. “Beau, he looks like you.” I nod, looking between our son, and this beautiful woman.
“He looks like us,” I say. “You’re so amazing.”
I kiss her quickly, almost unwilling to take my eyes off either of them for more than a second. “Want to cut the cord?” Mallory asks.
I nod, taking the scissors from her. I follow her instructions, cutting the soft cord between the two clamps, a burst of pride carrying though my body.
They clean him up a bit more for another moment on her chest, and then Mallory lifts him up off her, telling us she’s bringing him over to weigh him and get him wrapped up.
“I hate to be the one to tell you this, Marley, but we have one more baby to get out,” Dr. Ness’ voice is almost apologetic. “Baby Boy is doing great, so I want you to give me a really good push here.”
Marley obliges, pushing hard and long again. I can see how tired she’s getting, but she’s doing her best not to show it.
“Good. Again,” Dr. Ness says. Our son is crying over on the warmer, and it’s hard not to go to him, but I know he’s in the best hands right now.