Chapter 27 Astrid
ASTRID
Nerves fire at me when I hear the familiar rap at my window just after midnight.
We were late getting back from dinner, and then I had to wait until everyone was asleep before I messaged Callan to say the coast was clear.
For a moment, I entertained the idea of wearing the red lace underwear Gwen bought me under my PJs like she suggested, but it’s not me.
I tried it on, and it made me feel uncomfortable, so it’s back in its hiding place, possibly to never see the light of day.
Butterflies swoop into my chest as I climb off my bed, watching Callan swing through the window. It never fails to make my heart swoon. He’s like a real-life Romeo, and I desperately wish I were his Juliet.
“Come here, you,” he whispers as he removes his gloves, unzips his jacket, and toes off his sneakers.
My heart is careening around my chest as I pad toward him.
Callan reaches out, reeling me into his strong arms. A shiver whips through me when he buries his face in my neck.
“You’re so warm and soft and perfect,” he whispers, moving my silky pajama top to one side so he can press a kiss to my shoulder.
My legs almost buckle at the feel of his velvety lips on my skin.
“I missed you,” I softly say, closing my eyes and savoring the sensations he’s coaxing from my pliable body.
“Ditto, beautiful.” He peppers kisses along my shoulder and up my neck. “That was one hell of a surprise to come home to.”
“You’re sure you like it?”
He straightens up, peering deep into my eyes. “I love it, Astrid. No one has ever done anything like that for me before.” Emotion pours from his face, and he’s not shielding anything now. He’s looking at me like I’m his everything, and excitement replaces the blood flowing through my veins.
“You deserve the best, and I wanted to make your space comfortable and relaxing.”
“I don’t deserve you.” He presses a firm kiss to my lips before moving us back toward my bed.
“You’re incredible.” He dots kisses across my brow, my cheeks, and my jaw while he keeps walking.
I fall back on the bed with Callan hovering over me, propped up by his hands on either side of me.
“And you deserve a reward.” His eyes darken with liquid need, and my core throbs with a similar ache.
“What kind of reward?” My voice is unintentionally breathy.
“Do you trust me?”
“Completely.”
His lips press to my neck, and I bet he feels how fast my pulse is racing.
Moisture seeps between my thighs as he kisses a path from my neck to my shoulder and across my collarbone, eliciting a rake of shivers.
Callan lifts me gently, depositing me in the center of the bed with my head resting on my pillows.
His gaze doesn’t leave mine as he climbs onto the bed, stretching my legs and settling in between my thighs.
Leaning down, he lightly clasps my chin as he stares at me.
“I want to touch you all over and make you come with my mouth and my tongue. Can I?”
Everything south of my waist liquefies, and I can’t form a single word, so I nod, because hell yeah, I’m totally down with that plan. I’m glad Callan is claiming this first. I can’t imagine doing this with anyone else.
“You’re so beautiful,” he purrs, kissing my neck as he slowly unbuttons my top.
My chest is heaving, my nipples so hard they’re almost painful.
Cool air washes over my tits when he parts my top, exposing me to his hungry gaze.
“Fuck, you are exquisite.” His eyes linger on my boobs as he licks his lips and enjoys the view.
“You’re a work of art,” he adds, palming one.
“These are perfect.” He cups my other breast, fondling both before he rolls one taut nipple between his thumb and finger.
A strangled sound steals from my lips unbidden.
“Shush, beautiful.” He leans down to claim my mouth in a searing hot kiss. “If you wake the house up, you won’t get your reward.”
“I’ll be quiet,” I promise, hoping I’m not lying. No one has ever made me feel the things I feel with Callan, and I wish I wasn’t still living with my parents so I could moan and scream to my heart’s content.
“Kiss me,” he says, stretching out on his side alongside me.
I turn my head and meet his mouth, drowning in sheer bliss as he takes control, kissing me like he wants to eat me alive.
He toys with my tits as he makes love to my mouth, and I’m squirming on the bed, my lower belly coiled into delicious knots as pure want pulses between my slick thighs.
I’ve never been this turned on in my life.
No wonder my bestie is addicted to sex if it feels even better than this. I totally get it now.
My lips feel swollen when Callan finally releases them to move down my body.
I close my eyes and arch my back, stuffing my hand in my mouth to smother a moan when his hot lips close around one nipple and then the other.
He lavishes my boobs with attention, and I think I could come just from this.
I suck in a gasp when Callan’s fingers slip under my pajama bottoms, almost coming out of my skin.
Sweat beads at the back of my neck, and my entire body is warm from head to toe as he glides his fingers back and forth along my lower stomach.
Callan slides down my body, brushing his lips across my skin as he lowers. The sweep of his mouth underneath my belly button has me trembling and begging because I need more. “Please,” I whisper, writhing and shifting on the bed.
“Please what?” he teases, running the tip of his finger under the waistband of my pajama pants again.
“Please make me come with your mouth and your tongue.” My cheeks are on fire, but I’m happy I managed to say that without stuttering.
“Anything for you, beautiful.” He presses a tender kiss to one hip bone and then the other before gently dragging the pants down my legs. When he tosses them aside, he kneels at my feet and rakes his gaze all over me.
I’m naked, and he’s still wearing all his clothes.
I have never been this exposed with any guy before, and maybe I should be uncomfortable, but I’m not.
Because it’s Callan, and my body is a live wire that needs taming by him.
With more bravery than I realized I had, I open my legs, stretching them wide, letting him drink his fill.
The bulge in his jeans is obvious before he groans and adjusts himself. I love that he’s turned on from touching and looking at me. It makes me feel powerful and seductive.
“What are you waiting for?” I pant, almost ready to combust. I need his mouth on me stat.
Callan chuckles as one hand begins trailing a path from my ankle up my leg. “Impatient much?” He arches a brow as his fingers dip behind my knee.
“I’m scared I’ll come before your mouth gets near my pussy,” I truthfully admit.
The look he gives me melts me. He’s looking at me like I’m the center of his world, and I think maybe I am. Hope comingles with anticipation and arousal, and I think we’re on the verge of revealing the great truth, but I want my orgasm before I open that conversation.
“You are stunning, Astrid,” Callan says when his fingers reach the crease at the top of my leg.
His fingers brush against my core, and a whimper escapes my mouth before I can trap it.
One finger slides up and down my folds. “You are so wet for me.” He tastes his finger and moans quietly, and I almost come watching him.
Then he drops down onto his stomach, positioning his face between my thighs.
The urge to close my legs is riding me hard, my vulnerability finally making an appearance.
“You have the prettiest pussy,” he proclaims, burying his nose in my crotch.
“And I’m going to eat it all up.” A wicked glint flares in his eyes before his mouth suctions over my pussy lips, and he begins devouring me.
Burying my face in the pillow, I stifle the little whimpers and cries that spill from my lips as Callan licks and sucks me.
I’m already so turned on, and this is cranking my lust to the max.
I never knew it could feel like this, and I’m awash in a host of new feelings I could easily get addicted to.
I stuff my fist in my mouth to stop from screaming when he nibbles on my clit.
Large hands keep my thighs parted while he ravishes me, and it feels like I’m floating above my body.
Pressure builds in my core, tingling and radiating, as he works me over good.
When his tongue plunges inside me, I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.
My hands are fisting the comforter, and I’m practically smothering my face in an attempt to suffocate the sounds coming from my mouth.
My legs jerk and my thighs strain as the buildup reaches a crescendo.
Callan sucks hard on my clit, and I fall apart, my entire body bucking and shaking as the most intense climax cascades over me and through me.
I’m panting into my pillow as waves of pleasure lay siege to my body.
Callan continues lapping at me until my body stops thrashing and I sink into the bed.
I’m feeling so much as he crawls up the bed and lies on his side.
His lips are glistening with my juices as he leans in to kiss me, and my heart feels like it’s going to burst.
“How was that?” he whispers, smiling as he surveys my face.
“Incredible. The most amazing feeling in the world.” I wrap my arms around his neck, no longer self-conscious that I’m naked and he’s fully clothed. “I didn’t know it could be like that.”
His face glows as a self-satisfied grin crests over his mouth. “I was hoping I was the first. That makes me happy.” He kisses me tenderly. “You make me happy.”
I can’t contain it any longer—I need to free my truths.
“I’m crazy about you, Callan. You are all I think about, and I want to spend every second of every day with you.
” He’s staring at me in a bit of a daze, but I keep going, needing to get it all out.
“I have never felt this way about anyone before. Tell me you feel this too.” Taking his hand, I press it against my chest. “It isn’t fake.
It never has been. It’s as real as it gets, and I want to shout about us from the rooftops. ”
The transformation is almost instant. Callan yanks his hand back and stumbles off the bed.
“No, Astrid. No.” A mix of emotions replaces the glazed look in his eyes as he grabs fistfuls of his hair while pacing.
“We had a deal. You agreed.” He stands at the end of the bed, scrubbing his hands down his face.
“Why did you have to do this? Everything was perfect, and now you’ve gone and ruined it! ”
Pain splinters in my chest, and I grab the comforter, covering myself. “I don’t understand,” I whisper, my voice cracking. “I know you feel it too. I see it in your eyes, Callan. Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not the one lying,” he whisper-hisses, jabbing his finger in my direction. “You can’t have feelings for me.”
The instinct is there—to deny it all, to take back the words and save myself from humiliation and heartbreak—but I can’t do it.
I can’t pretend my feelings don’t exist. It’s bad enough we’ve been lying to most of our friends and our families.
I refuse to add lying to myself to the list. “I meant what I said. I have feelings for you. Strong feelings.”
A horror-struck expression washes over his face, and he might as well have just stabbed me through the heart.
Pain spears me on the inside, and tears build in my eyes, but I force myself to go on.
“You’re the one lying to yourself, Callan.
I know you feel it too.” I get up, keeping the comforter wrapped around me. “Like I know you’re scared, but—”
“No.” He holds up his hand as he starts backing away. “I’m not lying, and I don’t feel it. I don’t have those feelings for you.” He shoves his feet into his sneakers while hastily pulling on his jacket. “This was a mistake.”
Another crack appears in my heart as I stand rooted to the spot.
“I was faking it, like we agreed, but if I’d known you were buying into it, I’d have pulled the plug weeks ago.”
I’m horrified when a single tear sneaks out of my eye, and I hug the covers to my chest, wishing the ground would swallow me.
Either he’s delusional, or I’ve been seeing what I wanted to see.
Either way, the result is the same. Bile swims up my throat as I shake all over, but I don’t say anything because what’s left to say?
“We agreed we’d end this if one of us wanted to, and I do,” he says, yanking his gloves on. He moves to the window before stopping and looking back at me. Something sparks in his eyes momentarily, but it’s gone again as fast. “I’m sorry.”
“Get out,” I whisper, wanting to fall apart alone.
His Adam’s apple jumps in his throat as his mouth opens and then closes again, whatever he was going to say dying on his tongue as he climbs out through my window for the last time.