Chapter 55 Astrid – Age 28
EIGHT YEARS LATER
“Seán, what are you doing?” I ask as my fiancé lifts me onto my desk and settles between my thighs.
“What does it look like, darling?” He smirks, piercing me with sultry blue eyes as his hands start slowly pushing my skirt up.
“It’s the middle of the day, and we’re at work!” I protest even as I spread my legs wider, granting him easier access.
“I’m the boss.” He leans in and nips my lower lip with his teeth. “I can do whatever the fuck I want.”
“The door isn’t locked.” I trap a moan as he cups me over my silk panties. “Anyone could walk in.”
“No one would dare.” Gliding my panties to one side, he drives two fingers into me, and I instantly melt. Hunger wars with possession on his face as he fucks me hard and fast with his fingers. “So fucking beautiful and all mine.”
Those words, spoken in Seán’s lilting Irish accent, rouse the memory from the lockbox it’s stored in, and my plush office at The Devlin Hotel Group HQ disappears, and I’m back in that Manhattan hotel room with him the night I lost my virginity. Ironically, it’s only a few blocks from here.
Familiar stabbing pains spread across my chest, and I shrivel inside, all hint of my desire fleeing as the memory lingers.
Seán’s astute gaze bores holes in my face. “What is it? What did I do?” He removes his fingers from inside me.
“You didn’t do anything.” I rub at my chest as Seán fixes my skirt back into place.
“This is about him. The guy who broke your heart.”
Slowly, I nod, hating how Callan Hunt is still finding ways to derail my life.
It’s a miracle Seán Devlin has any interest in me, given my issues.
His ruthless reputation would suggest he’s not a patient guy, and I’ve seen him in action enough times during meetings to know he’s earned it.
Yet he’s been infinitely patient with me, and I love him for it. “I’m sorry.”
Protective arms wind around me as Seán pulls me against his warm body. “Nothing to be sorry about. I just wish you’d tell me what happened.”
I rest my head sideways on his chest, careful not to get makeup on his expensive designer suit. My legs wrap around him as I hold him close. “I don’t want to talk about it. I spent years in therapy trying to forget him.”
I have no clue where Callan is now or what he’s doing.
Whether he’s still with that backstabbing bitch or not.
For my sanity, I steer clear of celebrity hotspots and celebrity news channels and shows, and I mostly avoid social media unless it’s business-related.
My only online presence is an Instagram page that focuses solely on interior design tips and suggestions.
I’ve built quite a loyal following, but I stay out of the frame, letting my work speak for itself.
Seán repeatedly smooths his hands down my long blonde hair, and it’s incredibly soothing. “If he’s still haunting you, even now, I can take care of that problem.”
I jerk my head up as all the fine hairs lift on the back of my neck. “That sounds remarkably like…something illegal.” Surely, he doesn’t mean what he’s insinuating?
Seán shrugs before tilting my face up, drilling me with a dark look. “There is nothing I won’t do for the woman I love. If wiping that piece of shit from the face of the earth would give you the closure you so desperately need, just say the word, and it’s done.”
Holy shit. I think he really means it. As much as I hate him for what he did to me, there’s no way I want him to die for it.
Right now, I’m glad I never told Seán his name or how I met Callan in high school and he was my neighbor.
My fiancé assumed I’d met him in college, and I never corrected him.
He has scant knowledge of my past relationships.
All he knows is my first love betrayed me with my best friend, and it broke me, destroying my faith in men and my trust in relationships.
“You owe him nothing, darling.” Seán studies my face carefully as his fingers sweep along my jawline.
“Humans shouldn’t play God, Seán, and suggesting you unalive someone because he’s a cheater is more than a little extreme.”
“I don’t give a fuck. He hurt you, and I’m more than willing to return the favor.”
“That is not what I want. He’s a…he’s a father.
” My voice cracks. The pain is ever-present when I imagine them out there as a family.
Do they have more kids? Is Gwen enjoying the life she stole from me?
I try to shake those thoughts away because nothing good comes from thinking them.
I have clawed my way out of the black hole I was suffocating in, and I have zero desire to sink back into it.
“Trust me when I say that little girl needs him because her mother is the vilest human I’ve ever known. ”
Seán’s brows climb to his hairline. “They cheated on you and had a kid together?”
I gulp over the sudden lump in my throat before nodding. How is it, after all this time, it still hurts so damn much? “It was the worst betrayal.”
“It’s no wonder you have trust issues.” His thumb rubs across my mouth. “But you never have to worry about that with me. After what my father did to my mother, I am the last person who would ever cheat.”
“I know, Seán. I wouldn’t have accepted your proposal if I thought otherwise.” The large diamond on my ring finger glistens, and I blink as I stare at it, still finding it all a little surreal.
I met Seán nine months ago when my boss promoted me to senior design consultant and assigned me to The Devlin Hotel Group account.
A team of five from the office already works on the account, with most of them working directly from the hotel group HQ.
The Devlin family business is one of the most successful in New York, and it incorporates various divisions, including technology, logistics, pharmaceuticals, hotels, and some other retail interests.
Ronnie Devlin oversees the entire corporation as president, and his four sons all work in different parts of the business. Seán is his eldest son, born to Ronnie and his first ex-wife in County Cork, Ireland, and CEO of the hotel division.
The spark was obvious between me and the handsome thirty-two-year-old from that first meeting.
You’d think I’d run a mile from another Irish guy, but his Irishness was definitely a big part of the appeal.
Seán was persistent, repeatedly asking me out, taking my constant rejections as a challenge.
No matter how often I cited professional ethics and conflict of interest, he refused to give up.
Expensive gifts started arriving at the office and my home.
My desk was covered in so many flowers I barely had the space to work on it.
Every evening, he’d appear and ask me to dinner.
I continuously turned him down, figuring he’d eventually get the message, but I didn’t realize how tenacious he was.
He went so far as to speak to my boss and gain her approval, and gradually, he wore me down.
On our first date, he took me by private jet to Quebec, where we enjoyed a horse-drawn carriage ride through the cobblestone streets of Old Quebec, followed by dinner and champagne at a Michelin-starred restaurant.
Knowing I was skittish, he waited until he dropped me home to make a move, decimating every single objection I’d had with one passionate kiss.
After that, I was no longer immune to his charm, and I willingly succumbed despite my fear.
Seán is so different from my previous boyfriends.
The strength of his feelings for me scared me almost as much as his excessive wealth and his arrogance.
He can be a lot, and I thought for sure he’d grow tired of me, but he hasn’t.
Three months after we first started dating, I found myself agreeing to move in with him, and two months later, he astounded me with an incredibly romantic proposal in Paris.
I am living a fairy tale, and it’s beyond my wildest dreams. However, some nights, I wake up in a cold sweat, fighting a panic attack, wondering when it’s all going to come crashing down around me like before.
“If you change your mind—”
“I won’t.” I cut across him on purpose, desperately wanting to change the subject.
“He’s in the past.” My fingers trail up his toned upper torso, grazing the fine layer of stubble on his exquisite jawline.
My husband-to-be is hot, and there are thousands of women in The Big Apple who would literally kill to be in my shoes.
“You’re my future.” I lean in, pressing my lips to his mouth, wondering if it’s not too late to get things back on track.
“I don’t want to look back. Only look forward. ”
“I want you.” Eyes layered with lust pin me in place as he pushes me down on my back on the desk. “Let me have you.”
I part my thighs and lick my lips. “When have I ever denied you?”
Laughter rumbles from his chest as his hands run up the insides of my thighs. “How about the first three months I knew you?”
“Getting everything you want instantly is boring,” I say in a breathy tone as his fingers skim the edge of my panties. “I’m glad I made you work for it.”
He barks out a laugh. “You certainly did. I swear I had repetitive strain injury from wanking so much.” His fingers curl around the edges of my panties, ready to peel them down my legs, when the door to my office flies open, and a shriek tears from my lips.
Seán swings into action, whipping around and using his body to block the sight of me, sprawled across my desk, with my skirt shoved up to my waist, from the gatecrasher. “Ever heard of knocking, brother?”
“Ever heard of the company employee handbook?” Liam retorts as I sit up and quickly fix my clothes. “Or the no-sex-in-the-workplace policy?” As head of the legal division for the hotel group and a qualified lawyer to boot, it’s no surprise Liam is fully apprised of all the company policies.
“That’s actually a thing?” Incredulity threads through Seán’s tone.
“Don’t pretend like you’re not aware.”
I slide off the desk, moving out from behind my fiancé in time to catch Liam rolling his eyes at his big brother. There is a strong resemblance between Seán and Liam, as the only full-blooded brothers, and, with only two years between them, they are the closest of the siblings.
“Astrid isn’t an employee, and she’s my future wife. The rules don’t apply to us.”
“Spoken like a true megalomaniac. You’re not God, Seán, no matter how much you try to convince yourself you are.”
“Funny, I was just telling him the same thing,” I say.
“Looking as beautiful as ever, Astrid.” Liam flashes me a dazzling smile. “Now my divorce is final, you should ditch the grump and shack up with me.” Liam loves flirting shamelessly with me because he knows how it riles his big brother up.
“Sorry, Liam. You’re too late.” I thrust my ring in his face. “My heart is already promised.”
He waggles his brows. “You’re not married yet. Still time to change your mind.”
I can’t help laughing. “You’re incorrigible.”
“How was Vienna?”
“Amazing,” I confirm. “We saw the opera and this amazing light show in a church, and we visited a few museums. It’s a beautiful city, and I definitely want to return when we’re not so pressed for time.”
We were there last weekend for Seán’s thirty-third birthday.
I bought the opera tickets as a gift, and we stayed at the five-star Devlin hotel in the center of the city.
It was supposed to be a week-long trip, but Seán is too busy managing the takeover and absorption of a smaller hotel chain and a few critical renovation projects across the US, so we had to cut the vacation short.
I’m a workaholic and very dedicated to my career, but I at least take vacation time when I need it.
My fiancé doesn’t know the meaning of the word.
He’s always working, always on call, and he rarely sleeps more than five hours a night.
I don’t know how he does it, but he seems to have an insatiable appetite for work, an unflappable work ethic, and little need for rest and recuperation like most humans.
“Was there a reason for your visit, brother?” Seán slides his arm around my waist, pulling me into his side.
“Unfortunately, yes.” He drags a hand through his dark hair. “I was looking for you. Jean suggested I check here.”
“Father or Connor?” Seán asks.
“It’s Connor.”
Seán groans, and I don’t blame him. Their younger brother is constantly getting into trouble. “What’s he done this time?”
“Surprised you haven’t seen it online. Glenn’s bachelor party in Vegas was one for the record books apparently.” Glenn is one of Connor’s best friends, and he’s getting married next month.
“Aw, fuck. How bad is it?”
“Not as bad as some of the shite he’s pulled before, but we can expect blowback from MGM.”
“Oh my fucking god.” Seán’s body tenses beside me. “Please tell me he did not cause trouble at the Bellagio?”
“If by trouble you mean he jumped into the fountains and was arrested, then no, brother, can’t tell you that, I’m afraid.”
“That fucking idiot.” Seán sighs. “I’m sick of bailing him out.”
Running a hand up and down his back, I do my best to comfort him because dealing with Connor’s antics always stresses him out.
“I’m just grateful he didn’t drown, considering the amount of alcohol and drugs in his system.”
“Guess it’s back to rehab again, though I don’t know why we bother,” Seán says. “It never makes any difference.”
“Father is seething. He said you’re to handle it.”
“Of course, he did. He’s too busy screwing whichever gold digger is the flavor this month to bother himself with his own flesh and blood.”
“I’m coming too,” Liam says. “Figure we can bail his arse out and meet with MGM to smooth things over in person. The jet’s on standby.”
Seán turns to face me. “You’ll have to go solo tonight.” We’re due to attend a charity gala in aid of Parkinson’s disease later.
“It’s fine. I’ll bring Paige. She loves poking fun at all the society airheads who attend these things.”
“Patrick can drive you both there and back.”
“It’s fine, Seán. I’ll work out the details with Paige. Go deal with the situation.”
“I’ll be back as soon as I can, though it’ll probably be tomorrow.”
“I can handle one night by myself.”
“Behave tonight.” His lips descend, and he kisses me thoroughly, uncaring we have an audience. There is not much that fazes my fiancé. “I’ll message you later,” he says after we break apart. “Oh, and check your email. I believe Noémie has some good news for you.” He smirks, and I know that look.
I narrow my eyes at his retreating form. “No interference means no interference, Seán!” I call after him.
He pins me with a smug smile. “We’ll talk later. Bye, darling.”
I’m still cussing him out as I sit behind my desk and open my inbox. Sure enough, there’s an email from my boss waiting for me. As I click into it and begin reading, all the blood drains from my face.
Is this some kind of cosmic joke? Because someone up there is surely fucking with me.