Chapter Seven #6
“I tell everyone I’m fine, and for the most part, I am.
But sometimes I have horrible nightmares, and it’s like I’m there again.
” Another deep breath. “I had just completed a two-year deployment, and my unit had orders to return to California. We were in a convoy heading back to base when we were ambushed. Two Humvees exploded when they hit an IED. Then, when we got out, there was gunfire all around us.” He had to stop for a minute, trying to keep a tight rein on his composure.
He felt the same cold chill up his spine that he always did when he thought about that day.
Henry’s arm, which had been around his waist, was suddenly across his chest, holding him as tightly as he could.
But he didn’t say a word; he just held him as he waited for him to continue.
“I lost a lot of friends that day. I made my men get out first, I didn’t want to risk the Humvee we were in exploding.
But outside, we were in the middle of a trap.
There were bullets flying in every direction.
Men, ours and theirs, were dropping all around us.
It was pure chaos.” Emotion overcame him, and he knew there was no way he’d be able to control the tremble in his voice.
“The first thing I did was locate my team. None of them were in a good way. I hesitated a second too long and…” A sob escaped his throat.
He wasn’t quite crying, but he could feel the tears ready to fall.
“I was in charge. I was supposed to take care of them. I should have been the one to—”
“No,” Henry said firmly, speaking for the first time.
He tried to turn Jackson’s face to his, but Jackson wouldn’t let him.
He couldn’t control the tears that were spilling over.
No way did he want Henry to see that. But Henry wasn’t taking no for an answer.
He again turned Jackson’s chin, using a little more pressure.
Jackson finally looked at him. Henry gently kissed his lips.
“There was this kid, twenty-two years old. It was his first deployment. He loved jokes, he collected them. He carried around an old leather journal so he could write down every one he heard. He’d been doing it since he was ten.
” Jackson closed his eyes and shook his head.
“And a nineteen-year-old who was so in love with his boyfriend that he was all he ever talked about. Or the married father of four. I was supposed to keep them all safe. I was supposed to make sure they got home to their families safely. But I didn’t. ” Tears ran down his cheeks.
Henry hugged him tightly, just letting him cry while whispering words of comfort. “I’ve got you. It’s all okay now.”
“I didn’t save them,” Jackson choked out.
Henry pulled back and took Jackson’s face in his hand. He placed a gentle kiss on his lips then used his thumbs to wipe away the tears. He didn’t let go. “You couldn’t save them. Not didn’t. Didn’t implies you had a choice. You couldn’t, Jackson. You got hurt.”
“I was trying to get my bearings and sort through all the chaos. All the sudden, my shoulder hurt so fucking bad that it brought me to my knees. I saw James running over to Harlow. I tried to yell at him to stay where he was, but the noise around us was deafening. But even if he had heard me, Harlow was his best friend, he wouldn’t have listened.
Then he went down. Something exploded behind me, knocking me flat to the ground, and it felt like hot lava running down my back.
” Henry hugged him tightly. Jackson could feel the slight tremble in Henry’s body.
“I’m a little hazy on what happened after that.
It was so bright, and so loud. I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open, then someone pulled me away.
I woke up in the hospital. It was touch and go whether I was going to keep my arm.
I can’t even remember how many stitches they put in.
I had shrapnel lodged all down my back. Thankfully, they were able to get it all out.
I found out that James and Harlow didn’t make it.
” Jackson closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.
Henry pulled him down onto the bed, pressing their bodies together.
Jackson wrapped his arms around Henry then buried his face in the man’s neck, trying to regain even a tiny bit of composure.
Henry just held him. Eventually, his breathing returned to normal.
He moved his forehead to Henry’s shoulder.
But he couldn’t look at the man; he’d probably said way too much.
“If you’re embarrassed, I’m going to think that you don’t trust me,” Henry said softly.
Jackson raised his head to meet his eyes. There was no way he wanted him to think that. Henry gently stroked his face. “I didn’t mean to break down like that.”
“It’s all okay.” Henry’s voice was soothing. He kissed him softly. “I should be the one apologizing to you. This is probably all because of meeting Sam. I am so sorry, Jackson.”
“In no way is this your fault, Henry. Actually, I want to thank you. I really appreciate the way you handled this.” Warmth and affection shown in Henry’s eyes.
Henry pressed their lips together. He kissed him over and over, deep drugging kisses that made it impossible to even think.
But why should he think about anything other than Henry in his arms. Jackson pushed Henry onto his back then positioned himself on his knees between Henry’s spread thighs.
He pressed their lips together, resuming the earth-shattering kiss that was quickly ramping up his desire.
“I want to make love to you.” Jackson was surprised by his words.
He had fucked, and he’d had sex, but he had never wanted the act to be anything more than that.
It was different with Henry, though. It had never been just sex between them; he’d known that from the very first time.
And that scared the shit out of him. He cared for Henry way more than he should, and he knew the man had feelings for him as well.
This situation wasn’t good for either of them because, even though he wasn’t sure when, he was leaving.
While he knew this was selfish, he couldn’t stop himself.
He needed this so badly. He leaned down to kiss him again.
Henry pulled him closer, and Jackson moaned softly.
He loved the feeling of Henry’s skin against his.
After several minutes, Henry’s hips bucked against him.
Jackson broke the kiss to look down at the man.
“You know,” he said, stroking Henry’s cheek, “I’ve been to a lot of places and seen a lot of things, but you are easily the most beautiful thing I have ever encountered. ”
Henry blushed, looking up at him. Jackson could see the emotion in his eyes, and it caused his heart to throb.
They were so screwed. Leaving was going to be so much harder than he ever imagined.
Just the thought of not being with Henry caused a dull ache in his chest, so he pushed it away to refocus on the present.
He pressed his lips back to Henry’s while slowly rocking against him.
Henry moaned. Jackson held him as tightly as he could, and Henry copied.
It was as if neither of them could get close enough.
Over and over, he surged against Henry. When he could feel the man’s chest heaving, Jackson moved his mouth to his neck.
He needed to hear the sighs, whimpers, moans, and curses he could make fall from Henry’s lips.
He needed to hear the man’s strung-out voice begging for release.
And Henry didn’t disappoint. But instead of screaming it out, like he usually did, he put his lips to Jackson’s ear. “I’m so close,” he panted. “Please make me come.” Henry’s breathy whisper caused a shiver to roll through him.
Part of him wanted to speed up to something hard and fast, giving them both what they so desperately needed.
But the other part wanted this perfect moment to last as long as possible.
He’d never felt this close to anyone. He pulled back slightly so that he could look at Henry’s face.
The man was absolutely gorgeous. Their eyes locked, and it took Jackson’s breath away.
The emotions he saw swirling in the depths of those big blue eyes were completely overwhelming, and he was totally unprepared for the needy way it made him feel.
“Jackson.” He’d never heard his name whispered in such a tender and intimate way.
Jackson returned his mouth to Henry’s, kissing him deeply while speeding up the motion of his hips slightly.
He could tell that Henry was close by the way he writhed beneath him, and he was just as on edge.
A few more thrusts caused Henry to moan into his mouth and warmth to splash his stomach.
Jackson couldn’t resist looking up at the man again.
The look of incredible pleasure on his face was all it took to trigger Jackson’s intense orgasm.
“Fuck, Henry.” He could hear the shake in his voice.
Henry stroked his face with a gentle touch and a sweet smile. “Let’s take care of Angel and get some dinner. And then”—Henry lightly kissed his lips—“I think you should spend the night with me.”
Jackson kissed him back. “I can’t think of anything I’d rather do.”
Henry picked up the phone. “Hi, Mama.”
“Henry Blake Andrews.” Damn, she used my full name. I am in deep shit. “Why did I have to find out from Aunt Grace that you have a boyfriend?” She sounded jealous, and a little pissed.
“It’s not like that,” he told her. “Jackson went with me to see Sam. Aunt Grace wasn’t even home.” He glanced over at Jackson. The man was staring at him with a smile on his face.
“That still doesn’t explain why you didn’t tell me,” his mother said. “Dinner Friday. No excuses. I’ll let your brothers know.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Goodbye, Son.”
“Bye, Mama.” Henry hung up then turned to Jackson.