Chapter 22
Twenty-Two
“ S o it was good? Are we talking leg-trembling good or speaking-in-tongues good? A nice, gentle afterglow or a raging blaze in your loins?” Keira was sitting cross legged on the floor next to me as she painted the edges of the wall with a thin brush.
I stood next to her with a roller, applying magnolia emulsion to her living room wall.
“My loins?”
“Yeah, your lady area.” She gestured at my crotch with her paint brush.
“Wow. Are you twelve?”
“Are you avoiding the subject?”
“Okay, fine. He was great. Like mind-blowing, eyes-rolling-back-in-my-head, my-toes-have-gone-numb amazing.”
“And you could have spent the rest of the day with him but instead you came here to paint walls?” I nodded, knowing exactly where she was going with this.
“You’re an idiot, Lo. If I had a guy willing to spend the day getting me off, I wouldn’t give it up to bail you out of jail, nevermind paint walls!
Go and get lost in the dick sand while you have the chance!
It’s not like he’s going to hang around in this tiny town forever. ”
That was a painful fact I didn’t want to think about right now.
“I know, I’m just trying to maintain some distance between us.” I stuck my roller back in the paint tray before slapping it back to the wall and rolling it with vigour.
There were other reasons I needed to maintain a distance.
His controlling behaviours, the tracking devices, and now hacking my medical records were major red flags.
They hadn’t been enough to stop me going to bed with him, but I couldn’t forget them.
I hadn’t told Keira about them and it didn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out why.
If she knew, she would make me stop seeing him and I didn’t want to.
Yet. I guess Alfie wasn’t the only one making irrational decisions.
What I didn’t understand was why I was making them at all.
“I just don’t want to get in too deep.”
I could feel Keira’s eyes on me, her paint splattered face creased in thought.
“I think it might be too late for that.” She gave me a knowing look, like she knew, just like I knew, that I was already in way too deep.
As usual, Monday morning found me pulling into the car park with a minute to spare. I hopped out of the van in a deep green sundress and matching sunglasses, ready to face the day.
My first port of call was Bradley. I needed to ensure his secrecy. Not that my leaving the opening with Alfie was a huge secret. I just didn’t want my business splashed all over the place before I even knew what my business was.
I found Bradley in one of the greenhouses, assessing the seedlings. I smiled when I heard him whispering to them.
“How are they doing?”
“They’re stubborn,” he answered without looking up.
“Can’t relate.” He snorted and dug his hand into the soil, brought out a handful and sniffed it, frowning still. “Bradley, I think I have some explaining to do?—”
“No need,” he cut me off, holding up one hand. “I heard nothing, I saw nothing.”
I winced. He sounded pissed and a little hurt. I crouched next to him, sticking my hand into the earth too. I sniffed it. It smelled perfect to me, but the seedlings were a little on the small side.
“Can you move them? This is a pretty stressful spot.” I looked around at the human traffic, the noise. Some plants were more sensitive than others.
“Yeah, maybe.”
I got the feeling he wanted me to leave him alone, but I forced myself to stay and make things right. “Look, I’m really sorry about Saturday. I didn’t mean to ditch you like that…” I trailed off, unsure how to continue.
“Then why did you?” he asked finally.
How can I explain this?
“Alfie Tell and I had some things to talk about. He asked me out a few weeks ago, I turned him down at first but he’s been a little persistent.”
“He’s harassing you?” His voice shot up an octave.
How have I managed to make this worse?
“No! He’s not harassing me.” Isn’t he? I thought, then quickly brushed it away. “He just wants to spend time with me I guess. I really am sorry about leaving you.”
He looked me over, but not with the cold clinical gaze I was used to with Alfie. He gave a short nod.
“Alright. And before you ask, no. I won’t say anything to Rosie about it, but just watch out for yourself, alright?
I’m sure you’re a good judge of character, but the way he looked at you at the opening…
” He ran a hand through his hair. “I wasn’t sure if he was going to hit you or fuck you, and that’s a dangerous thing to not be sure of. You understand what I’m saying?”
“Yeah, I get you.” I wished I could say I didn’t, but I knew the look he mentioned all too well.
“By the way, I’m heading over to Ryan’s school tomorrow after work to get everything set up, you’re welcome to come if you still want to help out?
You really don’t have to, especially after how I ditched you?—”
“Lola, chill. All is forgiven. My muscles and I will be there.”
We talked a little while longer, and eventually I left Bradley to his stubborn seedlings and headed for the office, ready to deal with the next person on my list.
“Hello trouble maker!” Riley answered on the fourth ring.
“Troublemaker?”
“Sure. I don’t know what you’ve been doing to the poor man but Alfie was hellish last week. So, what can I do for you?” I tried to shake away what that could mean and focus on the reason I had called.
“I just wanted to run through some of the order details now that I’ve had a chance to discuss it all with Rosie and Mark.
I have your soil ready, it should be delivered to Harrington in the next week so you can get started.
Your other materials we can supply as the work progresses and when you have the infrastructure finished, we can get your plants delivered.
Although, depending on how long it takes you to get to that point, it might be better to wait until next year for some of the planting.
I know you were hoping for a summer opening, if you’re quick enough you can make it happen but it might be tight. ”
“I figured it would be,” he said with a sigh.
“I’ll talk to Alfie about pushing back the opening.
I thought I could make it this year but the work on the building is taking longer than it was supposed to, which is delaying everything.
I want a full season for all the plants to bed in before we open to the public.
Alfie won’t like it but he’ll agree to it if I ask him nicely. Or you could ask him.”
“Why me?” I asked, not missing the tease in his voice.
“I heard he’s given you a plot to work on. I almost spat out my tea when he asked me to allocate a space for you. He doesn’t do favours for just anybody.”
“Um...about the plot, are you sure you didn’t mind giving it to me?” I didn’t want to be stepping on his toes.
“Not at all. Have something ready in the next few weeks, then you can present them to me at Harrington. Sound good?
“Sounds great. And really, thank you. I appreciate you doing this for me. I know you have more important things to do than hold my hand.”
“It’s fine. Someone put themselves out for me once, it does me good to pass it along. But if you want to do me a favour to even things up a little, go easy with the big man alright?”
“Riley, you’re way off if you think I’m the one that needs to go easy.” He laughed and I couldn’t resist asking him, “How do you know Mr Tell, by the way? I get the impression that you don’t just know each other through work.”
“We went to school together.” I was shocked. Riley didn’t seem like the private school type. “We went to boarding school in Switzerland but my Da went bankrupt and I had to leave.”
“So, how did you reconnect?”
“That’s a long story, Lola.” I felt the familiar sensation of a door slamming in my face.
“A long story that you can’t tell me?”
“Right.” His tone was a little shorter now, warning me to back off. Of course, I didn’t.
“Does it have anything to do with the Never Tell Club?”
I heard him sigh through the phone. “Lola, you’re a sweet girl, but if you want my advice that’s a subject you’ll leave alone. Especially with Alfie.”
I was desperate to know – what was the big deal? “Sorry, Riley.”
“That’s alright. I can’t tell you about the club but I can tell you he offered me this job shortly after he took over the company.
I was new and green but he gave me a chance anyway.
He’s a decent man, deep down, it’s just buried under societal pressure and bullshit privilege.
As someone who has lived on both sides of the coin, trust me, Lola, you and I are the lucky ones.
Look, I’ve gotta go. Give me a call when those plans are ready, alright? ”
I said I would and we hung up, leaving me with a lot to think about.
Before I could begin to unpick my thoughts, the phone rang again, and I delved into the deluge of back orders. I checked my email, refreshing the page and hoping yet dreading that there would be a response about my college application. Still nothing.
Around mid-afternoon there was a knock at the door. I looked up to see a delivery man standing there with an array of wild flowers in a decadent bouquet.
I signed for them and thanked him, taking the flowers back to my desk. I breathed in their gentle scent and sighed. Butterflies did little pirouettes in my stomach. I picked out the card and opened it.
Lola,
I hope you’re working hard on your garden.
If you’re struggling for inspiration, just imagine me fucking you in it.
A.
I burst out laughing. Alfie Tell had a sense of humour. I read the message over and over, securing the words to memory as well as his elegant script. Wild flowers. Not generic roses. Wild flowers. I danced my fingertips along the delicate petals and sighed.
Yeah. I was in way too deep.
That night found me back in Alfie’s bed, sweat glistening on my skin, my chest heaving as I tried to catch my breath.
I’d long since lost track of time. The man was an animal.
I looked up at him, revelling in his dishevelled state for a moment before he pulled me back into him and we began all over again.
The moon rose higher and we didn’t sleep.
We lay in our sex stained sheets and whispered in the moonlight.
The darkness seemed to ease the words out of him.
I had to ask easy questions at first, getting monosyllabic responses in return, but slowly, he started to relax and the man under the suit, the man in just his skin, started to talk.
He talked about art—pieces he owned, pieces he loved.
History fascinated him and it surprised me that he knew so much about Harrington House.
He was a keen cuisine connoisseur too, telling me where in the world I could find the best sushi, the best vineyards, the best chocolate.
He talked about travel, skiing in Whistler and yachting in Monaco.
“It sounds incredible. I’d love to go to any of those places one day.”
“Why don’t you? You should travel, O’Connell. Everyone should but especially you. This town seems too small for someone like you.”
I smiled at the compliment and snuggled into his chest, his fingers tracing patterns on my back. “I don’t know. I’d love to travel, but I worry about leaving my family behind. I—” I cut myself off. It had been on the tip of my tongue to tell him about college, but something stopped me.
“You what?” he pressed and I bit my lip. After listening to him talk about his incredible life, admitting that I couldn’t even get onto a garden design course was embarrassing. I puffed out a breath. Screw it.
“I’ve actually been trying to get into The London College for the last few years. They have an incredible design course but they’re very selective.”
“They rejected you?”
“Yeah, they rejected me a bunch. This year will make it the fourth year in a row.”
“That’s easily solved. I can make a call tomorrow and?—”
“No!” I shot up, peering down at him in the darkness. “Don’t you dare, Alfie. If you try to pay my way in I swear I’ll throw up.” I could just make out him blinking in surprise.
“I wouldn’t expect anything in return.”
“That’s not the point. I want to work for something, I don’t want to have it handed to me,” I told him, settling back into his arms. “Promise you won’t interfere. I mean it, no craziness.”
“I promise I won’t interfere.” We lapsed into silence for a few moments. “I’m glad you have enough pride and willpower to want to do it on your own. I seem to often find myself surrounded by people who want to gain much by doing little.”
“That doesn’t bother you?”
“It’s the way of the world. People have always been interchangeable and my wealth has always been limitless, so vapidity and materialism in a lover didn’t usually have a noticeable effect on me or my bank account. I was never trying to find love amongst my lovers, Lo.”
“It sounds lonely,” I said, pressing my cheek into his chest just above his heart.
“Maybe I’ll get into college and you can look me up when you’re in London.
” I looked up at him, finding him peering down at me, quizzical.
“I know you can’t stay with me in this tiny town forever.
You’ve got an empire to run and those yachts won’t yacht themselves,” I joked.
Why had I brought up the subject of him leaving?
“You’re right.” He paused and I knew what he was about to say.
“Don’t say it, Alfie. We’re here now. I don’t want to think about anything else.”
I knew we needed to talk about him leaving but I had been more focused on trying to keep a modicum of emotional distance so it wouldn’t hurt so much when he did. It was an inevitable conversation and maybe I was a coward for avoiding it but I only wanted to think about him tonight. Nothing else.