Chapter 58
Fifty-Eight
A s Alfie drove, I checked my phone which flashed with texts from Natalie and Keira. Natalie. I still hadn’t told her that I was leaving. I bit my lip, peeking sideways at the mogul beside me.
“Would you cause a fuss if I said I wanted to spend this evening with my sister?”
“No, of course not. I’ll work late and pick you up.
” My brows shot up, surprised by how easy that had been.
He really was endeavouring to do better.
Though it grated on me that I’d felt the need to ask his permission at all.
A few weeks ago I never would have done that.
I shook that dark thought away as I did with so many Alfie-related thoughts and sent a text to Natalie telling her I’d be home for dinner.
I sat back to enjoy the drive, the familiar streets of my little town flashing by through the lenses of my red sunglasses.
“Um, Alfie? You know that Rosie’s is back that way, right?” I pointed behind me. We were going completely the wrong way.
“I know. I want you at Harrington with me today,” he said, his jaw ticking with impatience as he pulled to a stop and waited for an old lady to cross the road.
“Is that right?”
He ignored my attitude and as soon as the old lady was out of the way, he sped off. “Yes, O’Connell. That’s right.”
“And you didn’t feel the need to consult me first?”
“No. I’ve been made aware that you are not exactly comfortable around Mark Tafferty.” My mouth dropped open as I stared at him. How did he…
“Dammit Elliot!” What a snitch! He must have told Alfie about my little duck and dive to avoid Mark yesterday.
“Don’t blame Elliot, part of his job is to care for your safety.” And to get me into trouble apparently. “Is there something you need to tell me about Mark?”
“No. I just didn’t want him to see me getting into your car.
” I hoped he’d leave it at that but his silence made it clear he wasn’t satisfied with my explanation.
“He’s just been making me nervous, that’s all.
He seems to be in a bad mood all the time lately, I’m not really sure why.
Probably just worried about his mother.” How could I explain Mark when even I didn’t get what the problem was?
“I don’t want you near him,” he warned and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.
“That’s a little hypocritical, don’t you think? You don’t have a problem telling me I need to lump it while you work with someone who is trying very hard to get between us. I told you you were setting a precedent, Alfie.”
“I said no, Lola.” He forced the words through gritted teeth. Patience, Lola.
“Alfie, we work together, and I have too much to do to take time away from the office. I can’t just disappear!
We’re just going to have to be professional about this, okay?
” I watched as the cogs turned in his head, as he reassessed and recalculated.
I waited for his clever argument that would blow mine out of the water and was surprised when, instead, he gave me a brisk nod.
He performed a very illegal U-turn and headed back in the direction of my office. I felt my chest loosen up a little, relieved that I’d successfully avoided another fight. We were getting better at this.
Twenty minutes later, I skipped into the office, faltering when I found Mark behind his desk.
I offered him a bright smile but he barely acknowledged me.
I faltered further when almost as soon as I sat down, he received a phone call saying he was required at Harrington House and would have to be there for the rest of the week.
He left me alone in the office and I scowled and slumped at my desk.
Well played, Mr Tell. Well played.
As pissed as I was about Alfie steam-rolling my life again, I couldn’t deny that it was nice having Mark’s gloomy presence out of the office. I might have to admit to myself that, just this once, I was grateful for his interference.
A fresh bouquet of pink bleeding hearts arrived at lunch and later I had a visit from Elliot who informed me that my van was now parked outside so I could drive home.
It was on the tip of my tongue to ask him how he’d managed to drive my van considering I had the keys, but then, like so many other things, I decided it was better if I didn’t know.
As soon as 5.30 rolled around I clocked out and hopped into my van to search for those stupid pills.
I’d already searched my desk and found nothing.
After twenty minutes digging around through old wrappers and coffee cups I eventually gave up and resigned to calling my GP for another appointment.
I sat in the back with the doors open to make the embarrassing phone call.
Once I had an appointment for the next afternoon I hung up, scowling at my phone.
“Well, that’s a hellish expression if ever I saw one.” I found Bradley standing in front of me with his hands hidden suspiciously behind his back. His cheeks were ruddy and bright from working in the sun and his hair was a wonderful kind of mess.
“Hey, Bradley.” I smiled, wishing my mood didn’t lighten so much whenever he was around. “Sorry, I was lost in my own thoughts. What’s up?”
“Nothing, I just wanted to give you this.” He pulled from behind his back the largest chocolate milkshake I’d ever seen.
“What’s that for?” I asked and he shrugged.
“I walked by earlier and you looked fed up. My sister always drinks chocolate shakes when she’s down so I figured what works for one woman might work for another. I got it from the cafe.”
I accepted the shake gratefully and took a long sip. It tasted incredible. “Thanks, Bradley.”
“Anytime. You okay?” he asked, coming to sit beside me. As he moved, I noticed the same dark blue car parked in the shade that had been there yesterday, but before I could comment on it, Bradley spoke again. “More drama?”
“You don’t want to hear it.”
“Yeah, that’s probably true.” I wished I could talk to Bradley, but letting him in that far was crossing a line that really shouldn’t be crossed. “It’s past closing time. Isn’t he picking you up?” I didn’t miss how he avoided saying Alfie’s name.
“No, Alfie’s working late tonight,” I took another sip, eyeing the blue car thoughtfully.
“Then can I take you somewhere?” I flicked my gaze to his and found his expression open and kind as always.
“‘Take me somewhere?’ You know that sounds like you’re planning to kill me, right?”
He laughed out loud and ran a hand through his hair, his t-shirt lifting slightly as he did and revealing a few inches of tanned torso. For a wicked moment I allowed myself to imagine him working outside with his shirt off, his jeans riding low enough for the V of his hips to show.
“Sorry, I just meant for an actual drink. A grown up drink.” He flicked my milkshake playfully.
His eyes were warm and full of everything that was familiar to me.
I was surprised by how much I wanted to say yes, how much I longed to spend time with a man who was just so…
easy. But guilt filled me at the thought of it and I had to look away.
“That’s sweet of you but I can’t, I need to get home.”
“You’re worried Alfie would find out, you mean.”
I paused, not really sure how to answer.
“There is that.” I stood, feeling as though I was betraying Alfie by even sitting near Bradley. It was impossible not to compare them.
Bradley smelt of the outdoors, Alfie smelt like the citrus fruits that played the top notes of his cologne.
Bradley wore muddy work boots, Alfie wore Armani Loafers.
Bradley’s eyes were friendly and open, Alfie’s were cold and calculating.
Bradley stood, mirroring my movement to lean against the other van door.
They kept us hidden from the world on either side of us.
He folded his arms, his muscles bunching and flexing with his movement.
He studied the ground and kicked at the gravel with the toe of his boot.
He was quiet for a long moment before he finally spoke.
“Lo, what if I was to make a play for you?”
“Make a play for me?”
“Yeah,” he shoved his hands in his pockets and gave me a small smile. “I’m not the ‘slam you up against a wall’ type. I’m not going to follow you around or get angry if you talk to someone else. But what if I was to, I don’t know, court you a little bit?”
Court me? I looked at the sweet man in front of me and wondered how I was going to turn him down. Did he have any idea how much his words pained me?
“Bradley…”
“I know you have this thing going with Alfie?—”
“No, it’s not that. Or rather, it’s not only that,” I stammered and sighed.
His gentle brow creased and I floundered.
I found myself wishing he could court me, wondering what it would be like, but I shook those thoughts out of my head, forcing them away.
“I’m leaving. I handed in my notice a few days ago.
” He was silent, his gaze steady as he looked me over.
It was strange to be looked at without feeling like I was being eviscerated.
“Why are you leaving?” He didn’t seem angry that I’d just shot him down like most men would be. I took another long sip of my shake, trying to buy myself time to find the right words.
“That isn’t exactly decided yet. I mean, I’ve had a few opportunities come up and I haven’t decided which one I’m taking yet, but either way I’m leaving next weekend.”
He tilted his head, looking me over again.
“You got into college, didn’t you?”
My jaw dropped. How the hell did he figure that out just from looking at me? “I can’t…How did you…Well, you don’t seem surprised!”
“I’m not.” He shrugged his shoulders as if it was a given that I would get in. “What’s the other option?”
“It’s complicated.” I took another sip of my shake and tried to make myself less readable. I really didn’t need another man inside my head.
“Does complicated translate into Alfie Tell by any chance? He doesn’t want you to go?”
“He doesn’t exactly know about it,” I admitted. Bradley gave me a meaningful look and I waved a hand at him. “I know, I know, you think I’m an idiot,” I grumbled, throwing my now empty milkshake into the back of my van along with the rest of my crap.
“No, I don’t think that. I think you know your own mind better than anyone else and you can decide for yourself what you should do. Just do me one favour? Don’t let anyone push you into anything.”
“I’ll try.” We were quiet for a moment, caught in a strange silence that I couldn’t figure out. Now that we were in this limbo between friendship and something else, where did we go from here?
“But you’re really leaving?” he asked and I nodded, giving him a small smile.
“Yeah, I really am.” I looked up and found his gaze unusually intense, his carefree ease gone.
He gave a small nod as if he’d made up his mind about something.
“Then…I have to do this.” He took a step towards me, then another.
I was frozen, my feet glued to the ground.
His hand cupped my cheek and slid into my hair, and my breath hitched at the heavenly feel of his skin against mine.
“Just once.” He leaned in, tilting my mouth up. I could count the freckles on his face…
I should say something, I should stop him, but before I could react, his lips pressed to mine in the softest of kisses.
I let out a small moan of happiness. It was a kiss I hadn’t known I needed and I could feel the desire emanating from him, so much want bleeding into just that one touch, that one small place where our bodies met.
It ended too quickly. He pulled away with difficulty and my chest, so full of desire and guilt, felt as though it was about to break open. Bradley stroked a gentle thumb over my cheek, his eyes full of longing and regret. My own eyes began to fill with tears and I had to look away.
“Don’t cry, Lo. You’re in love and you have the world at your feet.
And you won’t be the only girl for me. I’ll get over it.
” He leaned in again, pressing his lips to my cheek this time, and then drew away.
I braved a glance up at him and nodded, offering him my best brave smile.
His hand dropped to his side and I missed it already, missed its reliable comfort.
He took a few steps then turned around, walking backwards towards his car.
“By the way, I love your dress,” he called and walked away, unaware of how his words had sliced me. Alfie’s gift. I’d been wearing the dress he’d bought me as I kissed another man.
What the hell have I done?