Chapter 29
Twenty-Nine
W ithout a word, Alfie grabbed my arm and began dragging me down the corridor. I followed, fighting to keep up as Elliot walked behind us. Instead of exiting the way I’d come in, he led me to another door. It led us into a smaller hallway, out a side exit and up into the open air.
His grip unrelenting, Alfie pulled me around the side of the house in the direction of his car, my heart pounding the whole way.
“Alfie, stop! I?—”
“Quiet.” The venom in his tone stole my voice away. I was silent until we got to his car where he finally released me. I rubbed my arm where his fingers had dug in but he didn’t notice, he’d already turned his furious gaze on Elliot. “Get out of my sight.”
“Alfie, it’s not his?—”
“Now!” His shout echoed and I couldn’t help but flinch. I didn’t think I’d ever seen Alfie this angry. Elliot gave me a gentle smile.
“It’s alright, Miss.” It wasn’t alright, he hadn’t done anything wrong. I watched, guilt settling in my gut as he stepped into his car.
Alfie’s fierce gaze turned on me as Elliot sped away.
Without a word, Alfie opened the passenger door.
I did not want to get in that car but I slid into the seat anyway.
He slammed the door shut and got in beside me, his fury filling the car like toxic gas so thick I felt like it was suffocating me, burning my lungs.
He pulled away from the clubhouse, speeding us through the night and out of the black gates. Alfie was silent as he drove and that made me nervous. Street lights passed over us, casting shadows over the clench in his jaw, lighting up the fury in his eyes.
My hands twisted in my lap. I opened my mouth a dozen times to say something but each time, words failed me. We drove in the direction of my home and before I knew it, we were pulling up outside my apartment.
“Alfie, I—” I began but he climbed out of the car, cutting me off.
He came to my side, opening my door. I hesitated and he leaned inside and unclipped my seatbelt.
Taking my elbow, he pulled me out of the car, slamming my door shut behind us.
He began marching me to my front door and I pulled my arm out of his grasp.
“Alfie, stop! Can we just talk?”
His eyes fixed on me. Every wall he had was up high, it made me cold to the pit of my stomach. He looked like the old Alfie and that scared me more than I could say. He stepped towards me, his frame dwarfing mine. With a firm grip, he took my arm again and walked me up the steps to my door.
“Are you really just going to give me the silent treatment?” I snapped, the shake in my voice betraying how worried I was.
He released me at the top of the steps. “Open the door, Lola, and go inside. I’ll deal with you later.”
“No.” I folded my arms. “Deal with me now.”
“You don’t get to dictate this. Open the door, I won’t leave you in the street.”
“Alfie, we need to—” My words cut off as he slammed me up against the wall, pinning my wrists over my head with just one hand.
He looked down at me, icy fire in his cold gaze.
I gasped as his other hand roamed over the waistband of my jeans.
I was about to protest when his hand slipped into my pocket.
He pulled out my keys and stepped away, leaving me breathless as he unlocked my door and pushed it open.
Handing me back my keys he pushed me inside. I let him.
“Please say something.” I grabbed at his hand as he turned to leave. I couldn’t let him walk away. Not like this. “You can yell at me if you have to.” We stared at one another, the moment drawing out as we each waited for the other one to break.
“I’m not going to yell at you, Lola.” He pulled his hand out of mine, the rejection stinging me.
“Why? You’re clearly angry with me and?—”
“Yes, I’m angry with you but I don’t know how to deal with this in a healthy way, so I need to go. I just needed to make sure you were safe first.”
He could have just dumped me on the street but he hadn’t. He could have just told Elliot to take me home but he hadn’t done that either. He’d needed to do this himself and I still didn’t understand why. My hands twisted together into a nervous knot.
He turned to walk away and I grabbed him once again.
“Lola, let me go,” his voice shook, my grip only tightened.
“No, stay and fight with me.”
His fists clenched, his chest heaving. I could feel myself pushing us off a cliff, yet I couldn’t stop it. “That won’t end well and you know it.”
“Please, just?—”
“What?” He cut me off, yanking his arm away so hard I flinched. “What do you want? You want me to fuck the apology out of you?” He stepped towards me, making me back up into my own apartment. He followed, forcing me into the tiny kitchen. “You want me to do this just like old times?”
His hand slipped around my throat, pushing me up against the kitchen counter.
My hand slipped on the worktop, sending a glass crashing to the floor.
The sound of shattering glass echoed in my dead-of-night apartment, but it didn’t distract us for a moment.
He held my gaze as he pressed into me, bending me backwards over the counter top.
“Stop pushing me, Lola.”
I stared up at him, my entire body alight, alive. I tilted my chin, his mouth was so close to mine. I wanted it. His breathing came hard as he practically trembled with need for me.
What was I doing?
This was wrong, but I couldn’t stop myself and I didn’t understand why. My hands fisted in his jacket as old barbed wire cords wound themselves around us. We’d done this dance so many times before and yet somehow, it felt like the first time.
His grip tightened on my throat and just when I thought he was about to take me and fuck me mindless the way he used to, his fist collided with the cabinet by my head, the sound ringing out.
He shoved himself away from me, running his hands through his hair as I gulped in air, trying to regain my equilibrium. Carefully, I stepped over the broken glass. He stood by the door, his chest heaving.
“I’m trying so hard to be good, why are you making it so difficult?
” I stared at him, unable to answer his question.
He took a deep breath, sighing. “Sometimes, I wonder if maybe you’re the one who isn’t good for me.
” His words weighed heavy in the air, like rocks dropped in the river.
He didn’t mean that. He couldn’t. “You could bend me into any shape you want and as you know too well, that’s a very dangerous power to have over another person.
I won’t go back to that toxic bullshit, Lola. I refuse.”
We stared at each other in the dark. His jaw tense, his gaze resigned, he turned to leave.
I stood there, numb, unable to move. Lost in my own whirring mind.
My thoughts felt like crashing waves caught up in a storm stricken sea.
I watched him walk out the door, only to pause as headlights flashed outside.
I followed him to see Keira climbing out of a taxi, the slight stumble in her step told me she’d been drinking. She scowled when she locked eyes with Alfie.
“What did he do this time?” she slurred as she climbed the steps.
“Nothing.”
“Right,” she muttered, pushing past us both, “of course he didn’t.”
Alfie looked at me, a weary expression on his face. “Tell her what you did tonight, or I will.”
With that he turned and headed for his car. I watched him drive away, turmoil roiling inside me. Alfie was swarming every inch of my skin, my mind, and I took a breath, trying to force him down and focus on Keira.
She dumped her clutch purse on the kitchen counter and kicked off her heels, stumbling slightly. Her dark eyes fell on the smashed glass on the floor.
“Did he hurt you?”
“No, that was an accident.”
She turned to face me, her arms folded. “I heard what he said. What do you need to tell me? What did you do tonight?”
I opened my mouth and closed it again. How was I going to explain this? “He’s angry because I went to the club tonight.”
She arched a perfectly shaped brow at me. “You? Damn, Lola. You got your kink on?”
“No. I went to see Damien.” I forced the words out of my mouth before I could lose my nerve.
Her eyes narrowed, anger beginning to swim there. “Why would you do that?” Her voice was low, her words strained. I could practically feel her storm brewing, threatening to break out in thunder and lightning any moment.
“I was worried about you,” I stammered. “You haven’t been right since you met him and?—”
“So you think that gives you the right to stick your nose in my sex life?” She yelled and I winced.
“No! I just wanted to know if he’d hurt you.”
“He didn’t hurt me,” she scoffed. “Not all of us let ourselves be an emotional punching bag for some man’s bullshit just because we can’t get our Daddy Issues straight.
” She blinked, almost as if she couldn’t believe what had come out of her mouth.
I stared at her, shocked. My cheeks flushed hot with humiliation, yet I couldn’t tell her she was wrong.
I bit my lip, trying not to cry. She was drunk, she was angry and I deserved that anger, so I swallowed her words.
“I know I crossed a line, I was just scared. I’m sorry?—”
“Save it.” She turned to leave and I grabbed her arm.
“Keira, I?—”
She yanked her arm away, spinning to glare at me. “I don’t know how to deal with this right now, Lola. I need to get away from you before I say something else I regret.”
Alfie had said a similar thing only minutes ago and this time, I got it right and let her go. She stormed off, her bedroom door slamming shut a moment later.
I felt like everything was falling apart at my fingertips. I didn’t know what to do.
I stood in the middle of the darkened apartment. I shivered. Tonight had been a mistake. Why had I done it? Why hadn’t I tried to see Damien another time? Why had I gone down to the Onyx rooms at all?
Wiping away a stray tear, I grabbed the dustpan and brush from under the sink and cleared up the glass.