Chapter 62
Sixty-Two
H e stood, gazing up at flower me.
It had been five months since we’d parted and still I could barely breathe at the sight of him.
“I should have known you’d be here.” He turned, a rueful smile on his face. That perfect face that had my head spinning. “Forgive me, I’d thought you’d be out celebrating.”
Words. Find your words, Lola.
“Hi.”
Perfect. Great job.
“Hi.” He chuckled. He seemed lighter somehow. I stared, hardly able to recognise the man in front of me. “You look beautiful,” he said, that gaze sweeping over me.
I couldn’t take my eyes off him, I just stood there, unexpected pleasure rippling through me. “You look…blue.”
He laughed, looking down at his suit. “Yes, I thought it was time for a change.”
I didn’t think it was possible for Alfie Tell to be more gorgeous but he’d managed it. The colour elevated his eyes from cold grey to smouldering chrome.
I’d imagined thousands of times what it would be like if I ever saw him again, how I would feel, what I would say but now that he was here all I could feel was pleasure.
The cord that had bound us, once barbed, then broken, wound between us again but this time it shone bright with purity and strength.
I wondered if he felt it too.
He gestured at my work. “Congratulations, Lo. I knew you could do it.”
“Thank you.” I should say something else, ask about his life, but I didn’t know where to start. Were we supposed to talk about the weather?
“Alfie…”
“I know, small talk doesn’t make sense for us. I really didn’t plan this, I just wanted to see your work and I thought I’d cause a stir if I came during the day.”
“I appreciate that.” It meant a lot that he hadn’t steamrollered my big moment. “Why are you in London?”
“I came back to pack my time capsule.”
I frowned. I hadn’t expected that answer. “The room in your house with your journals in?”
“And all my other memories, yes. Some of it I’ve sold, some of it’s been moved into storage, some things I haven’t found a home for yet.”
Those steel grey eyes reached deep inside me and I shivered. I could see his thoughts beginning to spin in a way I couldn’t keep up with. “Why?”
“I’m selling the house.”
“That’s great! I mean…”
He laughed at my enthusiasm, there was no point denying that I’d hated that house. “Yes, it’s time. Ada’s pleased. She never liked that house either.”
“Where will she and Elliot go?”
“Wherever I go until Elliot is ready to retire, which I don’t think he’ll do until he’s dead or I’m settled down. Whichever one comes first.”
“Hopefully the latter.” I wanted Alfie to be settled and happy more than I wanted anything else.
“Hopefully.” He studied me with a dark look that pierced me to my core. My hands twisted in front of me, a motion that of course he noticed. I dropped them and clasped them behind my back instead, as if that would change anything. Alfie could always read me no matter what I did.
“Did you get my letter? The one I wrote in your journal?” I asked, trying to keep my voice from shaking.
“Yes, I got it.”
I wished that for once he would look away, break eye contact, give me a moment to collect myself so I could be calmer but that wasn’t Alfie’s way.
“Did it help? Are you happy?”
“Yeah, Lo, I am. I think my ghosts will always be there but I’ve made peace with them.” He tilted his head in that searching way. “And you? Are you happy?”
“Yes,” I answered honestly. “Even without you, I’m happy. It hurts sometimes but I don’t dream anymore.”
“Me either.” His nightmares were over and relief settled on my skin.
I hadn’t realised how worried about him I had been until this very moment.
Worried that leaving hadn’t helped him at all.
Worried that he would have gone backwards, further into his cold, grey state.
Seeing him like this, colourful and alive, it was everything.
The moment hung between us. It felt as if our history was playing out in front of us, how we’d met, fought, laughed and parted. How we’d tried and failed and tried again. Every single moment that brought us to right here, in my garden, as new people.
Finally, he sighed and I felt the moment begin to evaporate. “I should go. It was good to see you again.”
I opened my mouth to argue, then closed it again. It had been Alfie’s choice to leave, I couldn’t be the one to make him stay, no matter how different things felt now.
“You too.” I offered him a smile, hiding the pain in my chest that urged me to do anything, say anything to make him stop as he walked away. I was about to break when I felt him pause behind me.
“Lo, did you mean what you said in that letter?”
I turned to face him. “Yes, all of it.”
“That you’re proud of me?”
“Yes,” I breathed.
“That you would understand if I found happiness with someone new?”
My chest tightened. “Yes.” I had meant it, I still did. I didn’t want to imagine him with another woman, yet I was determined to offer my support if that’s what he needed.
“I don’t have someone new.”
I released a sigh of relief, a sigh I knew he’d seen. “Me either. I don’t either.”
He took a step towards me and just that one step had my heart racing. His demeanour changed, polite smile gone, eyes fierce with the razor sharp focus I knew so well.
“You said you’d tell me, if we met again by chance or design, if you were free and wanted me, you said you’d say it.”
I hadn’t forgotten my promise. Those three words that would plunge me back into Alfie Tell’s ocean, an ocean that could either drown me or deliver me to paradise.
“We’ve met by chance and we’re both free.” He took another step and I forced myself to stay still. “Your move, baby.”
Was this real? Was he truly ready? Was I?
I found myself catapulted back to when I first met him at Harrington House and I’d looked into his eyes for the very first time.
The arrogant man I’d seen there, manipulative and mean.
Here in front of me, the window dressing was almost the same, but the man was completely different and I…
I was still his. Utterly and completely.
The words were inevitable and they were right.
His jaw clenched, tense with uncertainty. I found my heart hurting for him. After all this time, how could he be uncertain? How couldn’t he know?
“Alfie, I love you.” The words sat in my chest, warm and true.
I was in love and I was loved and we were finally ready.
“Alfie, I—” My words stole away as his lips met mine in a kiss so crushing I couldn’t breathe. He swarmed my senses and I gasped as his body enveloped mine, holding me to him like two people caught up in a storm, afraid to ever let go.
His hand slipped into my hair, twisting it, keeping me close in that soul-sucking kiss. So many times during our failed three month deal we’d come close to this, each time his touch had been gentle, but this was different. This was needy and visceral. I threw myself into it and met him head on.
Grabbing his lapels I pulled him to me, walking backwards I led us to the garden nestled between my wings, the place hidden from outside view.
Inside, I grappled with his belt but his hands were there, stopping me. I whined in frustration as he pulled away, panting. “I don’t have a condom.”
“I’m on the pill.” I held him close, desperate for him but he held back. “You don’t trust me?”
“I trust you…do you trust me?” He was giving me this chance, this one last chance to back out if I still didn’t trust him with my body. But I did trust him. There wasn’t even a question of it anymore.
“Alfie…” It was all my lust-addled mind could think to say and it was all he needed. Grabbing fist-fulls of my dress he yanked me to him, crushing his lips to mine. His tongue was a heated balm, soothing yet igniting every need I had. My core clenched and I pressed up against him.
I gasped as he picked me up, dropping to his knees he lay me out underneath him.
With hurried hands he unfastened his belt, I pushed his trousers, his briefs down and wrapped my hand around his length.
My mouth watered at the feel of him in my hands again, the velvety skin, soft veins, the bead of precum resting on the tip.
I groaned into his mouth and yanked my underwear to one side, needing him inside me with maddening urgency.
I pulled him to my core, moaning as the tip of him ran over my wet folds. He shuddered, growling against my lips. His hand cupped me, blocking himself from entering. I mewled with desperation. I tried to force his hands away but he took my wrists and pinned them over my head.
“Look at me…fuck, just look at me.” His voice was husked with desire, the tone of it sending a shiver through me.
I looked up and found him just as desperate as me, his jaw clenched tight as he moved one hand between us. Two fingers pressed inside me, gently scissoring, stretching me.
I made desperate pants as he eased a third finger inside me. I winced and was glad he’d had the strength to do this first instead of hurting me the way I would have let him.
Gently, he thrust his fingers, letting me open and I lay there in the moonlight, legs spread, underwear pushed to one side as he gazed down at me, all his.
“Please.” That word was all it took. His fingers left me, the tip of him pressed against my opening, not yet pushing inside, just hovering. He kissed me, pulling on my lip and on that breath, he held my gaze and pushed inside.
My mouth opened in a silent cry as I flowered open for him.
His restraint left him and he took me like an animal. His thrusts came hard and fast as he set a gruelling pace. I held onto him, moving with him, swallowing his pants as he breathed in my moans.
We fed off each other, revelling in a way we hadn’t in so long. I didn’t care as he ripped the front of my dress open, freeing a breast so he could clutch it and suckle my nipple with a moan. I arched into him, lost in our lusty waters. I was high on him and I didn’t ever want to come back down.
I could feel myself climbing that familiar peak, yet it was different this time, not driven by the parts of me he’d touched, but by emotions I hadn’t thought I would ever feel. I was in love. Truly. Purely.
Frantic hunger drove us to that edge and I met him at the top, crying out my orgasm as he spilled inside of me.
I stared at him in wonder as he slowed his pace but didn’t stop his relentless need to wring every last sliver of pleasure out of me. I held onto him, meeting his need when I was suddenly jolted out of our bubble by the sound of the gate creaking open.
“Hello?” The security guard called out, his torch light shining in broken shards through my wings. Alfie clamped his hand over my mouth as he continued to fuck me, deep and slow. “Miss O’Connell, are you still here?”
I whined as Alfie pulled the last of my orgasm out of me. The gate creaked again as it was closed, keys jostling as the guard locked it shut. Only when his steps had retreated did Alfie release my mouth.
“What was that about?” I hissed, only to see him smirking down at me.
“Guess you’re stuck with me for the night.”
I gave him a light shove. “Guess you’re stuck with me for life.”
The weight of my words hung in the air, falling around us like confetti. He stared at me, the faintest flicker of uncertainty there. My body he was sure he possessed, it was my soul he wasn’t so sure of.
“Say it again.”
I didn’t need to ask what it was he needed to hear.
“I love you,” I whispered. He stared at me as if he couldn’t believe it. “Alfie, I love you.”
I watched my words settle inside him like seeds taking hold, roots spreading throughout his being until the irrevocable fact of my love was as certain to him as the moon above us.
He buried his face against my neck, one hand clutching my breast as his tears began to spill. I held onto him like I would never let him go. If I had my way, I never would.
We had come so far, suffered so much but here we were, at the finish line. We’d finally made it.
I was there, I was falling and he was with me. As he had been with me since the day I met him, as he would be forever.
Ever mine.
My Alfie.