Chapter 10
Ten
The air was wet but my mouth was dry. I tugged on the ropes, my breath catching in my throat.
“Don’t panic, Lo. You’re not powerless.”
“I’m feeling pretty powerless.” This had been a stupid idea. Why had I agreed to this?
Alfie moved in front of me. His gaze met mine, stilling my rushing heart without even touching me.
“I chose rope made from coconut husks because it's weaker than normal rope. If you put your full weight on it, it’ll give eventually.” He shrugged off his jacket, folded it neatly and placed it on the floor.
“You want me to be able to get free? Doesn’t that defeat the point?”
“The point of this is to teach you to trust me again. Completely. So no, it doesn’t defeat that.
Did you think I was just going to throw you in at the deep end?
” He gave the smallest shake of his head.
“Baby steps, Lo. I tie you up for the first time using something you can get free from. I do it in an environment most natural to you. No sex swing, no whips and chains. Not yet anyway.”
I began to relax a little. He was right. I’d had visions of being tied up in one of the Onyx rooms, filled with fetish paraphernalia that I couldn’t begin to name. This environment made me feel safe.
“You thought of everything.”
“I didn’t think about how much I’d hate you not being able to touch me, but I do like having free range to touch you.”
He unfastened his cufflinks and put them in his pocket. I watched as he unbuttoned his shirt, taking his time. This wasn’t going to be quick. My mouth began to water as he revealed inch after inch of alabaster skin.
“You’re beautiful, Alfie Tell.” I hadn’t meant to say it but I couldn’t help myself.
My man was a painting, a marble sculpture, a fantasy.
Even in the dim orange light, I could see the hint of bashful blush, the shy turn of his eyes.
It left as quickly as it came. He divested himself of his shirt, folded it and placed it on top of his jacket.
“I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what to do with you in here.
” He stepped behind me. He smoothed my hair over one shoulder, leaving my back bare.
His fingers went to the tiny clasp at the back of my neck, holding my dress up.
He unfastened it but didn’t let it go. I held my breath, waiting for my dress to fall to the floor. It didn’t.
Why?
He was waiting. Waiting for me to tell him to strip me naked. He wanted it to be my choice.
“Do it,” I said before I could chicken out. No sooner had the words left my mouth did the clasp leave his hand. The silk brushed over my skin as it fell and pooled at my feet. A cool rush swooned over me before humidity settled on my skin.
He moved in front of me again and I closed my eyes. I don’t know what I’d expected but it wasn’t this. He’d barely touched me and I was already overwhelmed.
“No. Don’t close your eyes. Watch me look at you.”
I did as he asked, forcing myself to look at him. He’d seen me naked thousands of times – why did this feel so much more vulnerable? I pressed my legs together. His brows twitched and I stilled.
“Tell me what you’re feeling.”
“Hot. Nervous.”
“What else?” he asked patiently.
“Vulnerable,” I admitted. “Embarrassed.”
“It’s not the first time I’ve made you feel that way.”
No it wasn’t. I’d felt all of this on a visceral level when I’d found out about the cameras. Only this time, I’d chosen to feel like this. I’d chosen to trust him to see me through those emotions. That was the point.
“I love looking at you,” he murmured. “I love the lines here.” He ran a finger over the faded stretch marks on my hips left over from puberty.
“Your mouth. It’s usually the eyes that are the most expressive but your mouth…
” he trailed off, eyes fixed on my lips as if he wanted to devour me.
I was on the verge of begging for his kiss when he broke away.
He scanned the tree I was tied to, the dense collection of branches, vines and greenery. I thought he was admiring it but I realised he was looking for something. He reached up and untied something fastened to a low hanging branch.
It was rope, bound neatly. “I had this placed here earlier, in case I decided to use it.”
“You don’t have me tied up enough already?” I flexed my fingers in the bindings, my arms were beginning to ache.
“This is made from cotton,” he said, ignoring my comment. “It’s very soft. Your skin is delicate and I don’t want to mark it.”
He moved behind me and began braiding my hair, weaving the rope through it like Kal did. The rope brushed against my skin and I shivered with each touch. Then he began the process of weaving it around my body. He made artwork out of me, like Kal had of the woman he’d hung from the ceiling.
I closed my eyes, focusing only on the sensation.
He didn’t speak but he communicated with me constantly.
Reassuring touches and soothing kisses. The rope fastened around my neck and down my waist, firm but not too constricting.
My braid was fixed to the rope too and I could barely move my head.
He was immobilising me slowly, like a python constricting its prey.
He stepped around me and my eyes sprung open as he smoothed the rope around my breasts in a simple figure of eight.
“Alfie…”
“Trust me.”
Trust me. The theme of this whole night.
I tried to look down to see what he was doing but I couldn’t.
He gave the rope a gentle tug and the figure of eight grew tighter. I gasped.
“Look at me.” He pulled it a little more until I whimpered. “There. That’s enough.” He fastened it off, leaving me breathless from the pressure. It was slow at first but as he continued his rope work my breasts grew fuller, more sensitive.
I thought he would want my legs apart but he bound them together.
I wished I could see what he was doing. I always loved to watch his hands work.
He knelt by my feet and after a minute or two, I felt a ball of rope being pushed under the raised heels of my feet giving me something to stand on and relieving some of the pressure in my legs.
His hands went to my calves, massaging gently through the thin rope.
He moved up, doing the same with my thighs, easing the sore muscles.
Then he stood. Whatever he saw when he looked in my face pleased him.
“You look sleepy, that’s good.” He stroked his thumb over my cheek. “Tell me how you’re feeling.”
“Calm. Safe.” That feeling broke the second I heard voices. The laughter of lovers chasing each other outside. “Alfie, get me down!” I hissed, immediately panicking.
“Shh. They can’t see you, Lola. And they can’t get in here. It’s just us.”
Right. The walls were frosted glass.
“Can they hear us?”
“Not if you’re quiet.” He grinned.
Oh fuck. He was about to make a game out of this. The couple outside had stopped laughing to indulge in a passionate kiss. I could see their shadows and heard the gasp and giggle as the woman was pressed against the wall of the dome. They had no idea we were in here.
I was distracted from them by Alfie pulling something out of his pocket. His cufflinks. “You’ve experienced this before. Baby steps, remember?”
His fingers moved to my swollen breasts, thumbs brushing over my nipples. I gasped at the sensation. Alfie smiled. He pinched them gently and I bit my lip, trying to stay quiet.
“Kiss me, please.”
“Not yet. I want to watch you.” He fastened one cufflink over one nipple. I made a breathless sound. And again with the second. I’d experienced this before, yes, but my breasts hadn’t been tied that time. The extra blood flow was making me feel insane.
I tried to lean into him and he let me, holding me for a moment as I adjusted to the sensation. I marveled that my anxiety had dissipated. I wasn’t nervous anymore. I was completely at peace under his control.
His hand slipped into the tiny space he’d left between my legs. His fingers dipped into my slickness.
“So wet and I’ve barely touched you.”
“So touch me.”
“Is that what you want? That couple is just a few feet away. Moan too loud and they’ll hear you.”
My gaze darted over his shoulder where I could see the woman was on her knees now, her partner grunting as she pleasured him. “I want you to touch me.”
“Do you want me to make you come while they listen? Do you want them to hear you?”
“No!” Blush crept over my skin.
“Then you’d better be quiet.”
He began slowly. It was so simple. So effective. Before coming here, my mind had turned in circles trying to imagine what devices he would use on me. But just his fingers…really it was all I wanted. Nothing could make me feel as good as his touch.
Riding the high of those tiny, little circles he was making, I began to climb that same mountain I’d climbed with him thousands of times.
The couple were making love now. Or fucking. That’s what Alfie would call it. The woman was pressed up against the glass, one leg hitched around his hip. Unlike me, she wasn’t trying to be silent.
Pleasure spread through my body, an erotic poison that I could feel in my nearly-numb fingertips right down to my sore toes.
There was no relief from it. I couldn’t move.
Couldn’t turn my head. Couldn’t close my eyes.
Couldn’t cry out. I could only stay here in this moment, in this intensity with him.
He took me there, guiding and goading me higher and higher.
“Just look at me. Still yourself. Calm. Let it happen. Let it come.” His whispered words wrapped around me, holding me as tight as his arm around my waist. My bound breasts heaved against his chest.
“Alfie…”
“I’ve got you,” his voice was firm but reassuring.
“Tell me you love me.”
“I love you. I love you. I love you…” he repeated over and over as I gasped, breathless with pleasure. The sticky air clung to us, almost claustrophobic. His lips hovering over mine, I came, breathing in his ‘I love you’s’.
I slumped against him, finally losing my strength. I felt him reach above us, only dimly aware of him releasing my wrists.
“Touch me, Lola.” He sounded like a starving man. I ran my hands over him, clinging onto him as my core twitched and my muscles trembled. He gazed at me, his hand cupping my face and finally he kissed me. If a kiss could say ‘I love you’ it was this kind of kiss.
He broke away too soon and moved behind me but he didn’t let me go. I swayed on my tip toes, my legs still bound together.
“Put your hands behind your back.”
I did as he asked. I didn’t know how he managed it, but he weaved the rope at the base of my spine around my wrists, securing them there. My heart pounded a little. If he let me go I was going to fall flat on my face.
“You won’t fall,” he said, reading my mind. “I won’t let you.” He held onto the knot at my back where my hair was fastened, holding me completely upright.
Trust. I had to trust him not to let me fall.
I heard the zip of his trousers and I knew what was coming next.
The lovers outside finished their coupling and with more breathless laughter, they left us alone. I was glad. I wanted this moment just for us.
With his free hand, he guided himself to my entrance, angling my body enough to give him access. He entered slowly, filling me up in one smooth motion. I shuddered against him.
He held me bent, the blood rushing to the tips of my breasts, causing me to moan all over again as they swayed with each thrust. With one hand on the rope and the other on my shoulder, he took me.
It should have been dirty but it was so deeply erotic, so full of love and adoration. Now I understood why Alfie had laughed when I’d called this a kink. This didn’t feel like a kink. This felt like us connecting on the deepest level we could.
When he was close, he pulled me closer. Lifting me up so he could bite my neck. I stayed still, not wanting to fall. My core clenched around him, pulling the seed from him as he finally came. It was beautiful. It was perfect and even trembling with pleasure, he hadn’t let me fall.
As the heady waves began to recede, I became more aware of the soreness of my body. He released me before I could ask. He’d been right when he’d said that he’d know I’d had enough before I did.
The ropes had taken so long to put on but came away so fast. He removed the cufflinks and kissed both nipples gently. Then he sat down in his tux trousers and pulled me into his lap.
I didn’t know how long we sat there for, on the floor of this man-made jungle, the moonlight beaming through the glass.
Slowly, we came back to earth together and waiting for us both was reality.
The reality of why we were here at all. Because of what he’d done to me and the damage he’d done to both of us.
“Never again, Alfie,” I whispered. “You can’t ever hurt me like that again.”
“Never. I promise.” He pressed a kiss to my temple.
“I don’t need to do this again.” I hadn’t meant to say that but as soon as I did, I knew it was true. “You wanted to do this to teach me to trust you. But I already do. I just needed a reminder. I don’t need you to do this to me again.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Alright. But do you want me to do this again?”
I thought about it, then snuggled in closer to the man I loved. “Ask me again when I get the feeling back in my legs.”