Chapter 25
Twenty-Five
The end of the week came and our sculptures were practically perfect.
Having to build two instead of one was a lot of work but I was ambitious and we’d managed to pull it off even if it had meant working late on Friday.
Eventually it was done and I waved at Sid as Maia drove us out of the Harrington estate.
“You’d think Moneybags would let us use his helicopter to save you the drive each week.”
“Moneyba-Mr Tell doesn’t want you flying without him.”
“Of course he doesn’t. Heaven forbid he misses an opportunity to get his bondage kink on again,” I grumbled, remembering the device he’d used to strap me in last time we flew together. Maia raised an eyebrow at me in the mirror. “I didn’t mean it like that!”
“Sure you didn’t.” She smirked and I smiled back. My anger towards her was fading. The pain of betrayal was still there, just as it was towards Elliot who had helped Alfie film every corner of my life for two years. But they worked for Alfie. They did what he told them, I understood that.
“Tell me to mind my business, but I heard that you asked Elliot to look into your father.”
“Yeah, better to be safe than sorry. Like you said, I have resources now, I might as well use them.” I settled back in the seat, getting comfortable.
Seeing as we were asking personal questions, I decided to go ahead and ask one of my own.
“Hey Maia, tell me to mind my business, but I heard that you and Eli are still kind of seeing each other?”
“You heard?” Maia raised her brows at me in the mirror. “Meaning you saw me at the club?”
“I didn’t want to say that. I’d hate to pull a Julia.
” Bringing it up was probably against club rules even if I wasn’t strictly a member and even if Maia and I were friends or…
whatever we were. “I’m not judging at all, but you know you can talk to me about whatever is going on with him, if you want to, I mean. ”
She didn’t reply. “I’m not sure where I stand with you, Lola. We were friends but we weren’t, and now I work for you but you aren’t exactly my biggest fan. Which is understandable.”
“Yeah, it’s complicated, isn’t it?” She glanced at me in the mirror, her brown eyes softening. “Why don’t we just say that I’m still mad at you but I’m working on it?”
“I’ll take that.” She pulled in a deep breath.
“There’s not much to say about Eli. We got to know each other during a vulnerable time in my life.
We met when Alfi-Mr Tell asked him to represent my mother in a legal case.
” Before I could ask she waved a hand. “Long story, I don't want to talk about it. I could never afford Eli but Mr Tell covered the costs. He was amazing, got my mother out of some trouble, took some of the stress off my shoulders. In the process he got to know more about my background than I’d like. We’ve been in and out of each other's lives since.”
“And now? Why not get it together now?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I want him too much. Maybe I don’t like aspects of his life.”
“The club?” I asked and Maia nodded. “Then why were you there the other night?”
“I want to see him, it’s easier to see him there so I don’t forget why we can’t really be together. I don’t judge anyone else's lifestyle, it's just not mine.”
“He enjoys things that you don’t,” I said, reading between the lines.
“He’s a Dom and not in the Damien-Marx-fun-for-a-night way.”
“He’s…what is he?” This was still new to me.
“He enjoys having a sub as part of his everyday lifestyle. He doesn’t switch it off, it's a 24/7 deal.”
“Wow. Ouch.”
Maia giggled. “Yeah. Ouch. I like it for a night here and there. It can be exciting, but he likes to control everything all the time. I’m not judging him, I just can’t be what he wants.”
“Maybe you could meet in the middle somewhere?” I suggested.
That’s what Alfie and I were trying to do.
I knew he was used to a lot more kink in his life than he was having with me.
I’d seen nearly every corner of the club at this point and Alfie had built that place.
He’d done things with other women that made my toes curl.
“Tried that. Kind of. We don’t see each other much. I’m your shadow and he spends more time in New York than he does here. He and Keira have crossed paths a few times at certain clubs.”
My stomach turned over. I worried about my friend. I trusted her, she was smart, but other people weren’t always so trustworthy. I didn’t like to think of her putting herself in vulnerable situations.
“Are you saying that she and he…?”
“No. He wouldn’t do that to me, or to Damien for that matter. I just can’t seem to let him go. He’s not good for me, I can’t make him happy, we should just leave it alone.”
“But you can’t.” I knew that feeling too well. “Maybe he’ll get over it. Realise that having you is more important than having every titillating fantasy fulfilled.”
“It’s more than titillating. I thought you’d figured that out by now.”
“Alfie enjoys aspects of that life, but he would drop the club in a heartbeat if I asked him to.” I was sure of it. Once I would have doubted if he loved me enough but not anymore. “If he wants you enough, he’ll figure out how to negotiate. He is a lawyer after all.”
Maia gave me a smile but said nothing else. I decided to let it be, figuring I’d given her enough to think about. I thought about my mother and father, Natalie and Riley, Keira and Damien, Maia and Eli, Alfie and I…I wondered if love was ever straightforward for anybody.
We lapsed into silence until we arrived at Alfie’s house, well, my house. I kept forgetting it was mine too. He met me at the door and pulled me inside. I found myself pushed up against a wall, giggling as he left a trail of kisses from my cheek down to my collar bone.
“How tired are you?” he asked. “I want to take you somewhere.”
“You can take me somewhere. The club? You said yesterday that you’d spank me later.” Aspects of the club still made me uneasy, but as long as it was just Alfie and I, I was coming to love the intensity of our sessions there.
“Tomorrow, I’ll take you to the club tomorrow. Tonight I want to take you somewhere else.”
My interest was piqued but he refused to tell me anything. He had me change out of my jeans and t-shirt, and dressed me himself in a pink Prada cocktail dress.
We drove alone with Elliot following in a car behind. ‘I want privacy’ was Alfie’s only explanation as to why Elliot wasn’t driving us wherever we were going.
“This looks familiar,” I said, recognising the street he turned onto. Then I saw a steeple up ahead. “We came here last year?”
“Yes, this is the old church where I brought you to listen to Vivaldi.”
A smile spread across my face. Alfie had taken me to the Royal Albert Hall twice since we’d been engaged to watch the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra play but still, this was special. Private.
“Are we going to see another concert?”
“Something like that.”
We walked up the steps, leaving Elliot to wait outside in his car.
Inside, the church was lit up with a hundred candles.
I wondered if this place even had electricity.
The last time we’d come here it had been winter time, I’d sat, breathing puffs of frozen air while we listened to the London orchestra.
Now, it was summer. The setting sun shone through the old stained glass windows like one giant flame ruling over the dozens of tiny ones scattered around the church.
“There’s no one here.” I had expected musicians.
What was going on? I noticed then, a single violin laid out on the altar.
I walked over and realised I recognised the case.
I’d seen it before in Alfie’s time capsule room at his old house.
The room where he’d kept my shoes from the night we separated, and the engagement ring I wore now.
So many of his memories, along with this violin.
His violin that he’d gotten from the girl in Italy.
He’d told me that story in Harrington House years ago.
“This place has great acoustics, I told you.” I turned to stare at him. Was this really happening? “You said you wanted to hear me play.”
“I know, but…really? Are you sure?”
He had opened up to me in so many ways but this was the last piece.
He’d told me every secret, let down his guard in the bedroom, but this, he’d held onto this.
Protecting the little boy inside who had learned the violin to try to impress his mother.
Who used it as an outlet for years and only put his violin away as a punishment after the deaths of his father and brother.
Now he was handing that part of himself over to me.
“I’m rusty though. Don’t laugh at me.”
“I would never,” I said with all sincerity. I could laugh at him in Hawaiian print shorts, but not over this.
He shrugged out of his jacket and rolled up his sleeves.
“What are you going to play?” I asked.
“What would you like to hear?”
“Vivaldi’s your favourite, right?”
“It has the most sentimental attachment. It’s the only time my mother ever came to watch me play.”
He’d told me that before. “That’s why you feel ready to play for me now? Because your mother’s been around?” I wondered if it had stirred up old feelings that he was finally able to face.
“I’ve been ready for a while, just waiting for the right moment.”
“What makes now the right moment?”
“I don’t know. I was talking to Damien, the way he’s hooked on Keira has got him acting out of character.
Can't relate to that.” We shared a smile.
“I just realised I don’t know what I’m waiting for.
I’ve spent too long hiding parts of myself from you.
I don’t want there to be any parts of me left that you haven’t seen. So, make your request.”
“Not Vivaldi if that’s connected to your mother. Just play me something sweet. Something I haven’t heard before.”