Chapter 38
Thirty-Eight
Alfie
Istood on the rooftop, the same rooftop I’d tried to punish Lola for standing on a few weeks ago. I closed my eyes, pulling in deep lungfuls of summer air. I couldn't decide what I felt more of – freedom or loss.
She was gone.
My mother, the last ghost of my past, was finally banished.
It was over and yet, I still had a few more boxes to tick. I had planned to leave her in comfort but after learning everything she’d done to Grace, or rather not done, I’d decided her punishment wasn’t enough.
After Grace had left, I’d made every phone call necessary to start the process of having Carolyn’s properties taken away. It wouldn’t be hard, my father had always found a way to kick vulnerable tenants out of a building so he could buy it cheap and turn it into a hotel.
She wanted me to be like my father, I could be, one last time. We’d all suffered his wrath, no reason she couldn’t too.
Yes, I’d planned to leave her in comfort but not anymore.
Let her count her pennies for the rest of her fucking life.
Let her beg her so-called friends for charity.
I knew she had enough connections, enough personal items worth a lot of money that she could sell and get by on.
She wouldn’t be destitute but she would be frightened and I wanted her frightened.
I wanted her to suffer the indignity of having to sell her lavish things.
I wanted her on her toes, wondering what I might do next when in truth, I planned to do nothing else. She was done.
For me, I stood on the dawning of a new era. I had a sister. She was smart like me, tenacious like me and like me that tenacity had been tamed by a no bullshit person with a heart of gold.
Lola.
After today, I wanted nothing more than to bury myself in the woman I loved but I could barely look at her without feeling like I was going to break.
Her face, her body…I should have done more to protect her.
Her and our baby. Our baby. How hadn’t I known?
I noticed everything about her – how hadn’t I seen it?
Had I really been so distracted? I tried not to blame myself. How could I have known when she hadn’t?
It didn’t matter now. I watched the little life we hadn’t gotten to celebrate yet tear away from her and a part of her had gone with it. I could see it in her eyes, the loss of something she hadn’t even known about.
Was she heartbroken? I couldn’t tell and that terrified me.
Was I heartbroken? Yes. When the dust settled, when the Berne family and my mother were dealt with and I knew Maia was going to be okay, in the settled dust I had to examine the dream I’d lost. I would have been delirious with joy to know we were going to have a child but that would have come at a price, the price that said Lola wasn’t ready.
I didn’t know how to fix it. I didn’t know what to say?
In this she felt so far away from me, experiencing something I couldn’t go through with her.
I felt disgustingly helpless. I wasn’t supposed to stand by and watch her suffer, I was supposed to fix and protect and I couldn’t.
I could only wipe away the blood and the tears and tell her that I loved her. Maybe that would be enough, maybe—
My phone rang, jolting me out of my guilt-ridden thoughts. I almost ignored it but I was expecting a call from Damien and sure enough, it was him.
“Should I ask how you are?” he said when I accepted his call.
“Probably not,” I said, deciding that there was too much for me to dive into. He knew everything and would say nothing, that’s why he was my best friend.
“Okay, then I’ll just ask if you’re serious about doing this?” There was an edge in his voice. I’d known it was coming. This decision I’d made ever since confirming that Julia Whitmore was behind the photos had shocked all of my Tellers.
“I’m absolutely serious. I’m done, I’m cutting all ties to that place.”
“It’s the club, Alfie. You’re really just going to give it up?”
My chest tightened. I didn’t feel any joy about my decision to shut down the club I’d built at eighteen, but I didn't feel any loss either. Whatever I’d built it for, whatever it had given me back then, I didn’t need it anymore.
“That place is like a second home to me. You know that.”
“I do know that, but maybe it shouldn’t be anymore. Maybe it’s time we all moved on. We’ve all got ghosts in that place. Me, you, Eli, Kal, even Cas. Maybe it’s time to let it go.”
“Maybe for you,” Damien said. “For me, my ghosts are happy ones. Besides, my girl actually likes the club.”
“Is she your girl now then?” I wondered what Lola would make of that. I couldn’t tell what she really thought of my friends. Except Kal. I knew she liked Kal and I tried not to think about that.
“I don’t know. I don’t think Keira will ever be anyone's girl.” He paused and I knew my best friend well enough to know what question was coming next. “How’s your girl?”
“Asleep.” I’d checked on her before coming up here. I was glad she was sleeping, I didn’t know what I was going to say to her when she woke up.
“She’s tough, Alfie. She’ll be okay.” He was right. Lola was the strongest person I’d ever met. She didn’t always handle a challenge with grace and dignity, but she always figured it out.
“Right, she’ll be okay. I need to ask you about Julia,” I said, changing the subject, “where are we at with her?”
“She’s been picked up in Berlin, they’re escorting her to England and will bring her to the club. We’ll keep her in the Onyx rooms until you're ready to deal with her.”
I pulled in a breath, staring out across the vast landscape that I owned. Dealing with this business was a dirty business but it had to be done. I couldn’t go to the police, asking Julia nicely to leave us alone wasn’t going to work. We were past that now.
“You can deal with her for me. I don’t care.”
“Are you sure? She broke the rules on your turf. She hurt your woman. You don’t have to be the one to handle the punishment but you should be there.”
Punishment. It had never really been my cup of tea outside of being playful. It reminded me too much of the shit my father did to me. However, I didn’t make the rules for the darker world that Julia and Damien moved in. In their circles, you got punished for shit like this, punished hard.
“You can represent my interests as well as the club. Whatever is done to her, I want it filmed. I want every bit of it filmed and photographed. I want her to know that I can expose her and ruin her any time I want.”
“Done. And don’t worry, from what I hear she isn’t fighting it. She gets it. She knows she fucked up.” He fell quiet again and I knew another question was coming. “Does Lola know?”
“She knows Julia is behind the photos, she doesn’t know about the punishment. I’m trying to drip feed the drama as much as I can. She’s dealt with enough over the last few weeks.”
“At least it’s over. We have the photos, her cloud is wiped, laptop, phone, everything seized.”
“And Muffin?” I snorted, what a stupid fucking name.
“Blacklisted and barred. The only play she’ll get is from BigDom69 on whatever fetish site she wants to sell herself on. We have enough dirt on her too that she’ll behave.”
Damien was smart in his handling of this. Julia was a Dominant, the best punishment for her was humiliation. That wouldn’t work for her pet though. Bratty subs loved the kind of treatment we were going to give Julia. For Muffin, the worst thing we could do is ignore her. Make her invisible.
I heard the sound of a drink being prepared on Damien’s end. He still liked a whiskey to wind down the night. “Truth be told, maybe shutting down the club wouldn’t be the worst thing. I don’t know how our members would feel about cavity searches.”
I laughed, I couldn’t help it. Julia had managed to sneak a tiny camera into the club by hiding it in a plug that she hid in one of Muffin's body cavities.
With the help of a bent security guard that was also being dealt with, Muffin had been able to sneak it into the room that we were going to use that night.
What a fucking moron Julia was, destroying her own life because she couldn’t bear consequences.
No wonder she and my mother got along so well.
Both of them couldn't stand to lose control. I felt stupid when I discovered their friendship but I couldn’t know everything.
My mother had been paying her for dirt on me for years, what I did at the club or other clubs around the world where I worked off my stress.
That part I hadn’t told Lola yet, but I would.
“You know, you could always buy the club off me?” I suggested. “Re-brand it?”
“Yeah, I should do that. Marx Manor or something.”
I snorted. “Yeah, or something. Let’s keep brainstorming that.”
“You saying the Never Tell Club was better?”
“I’m saying I was eighteen when I named it that. The marketing worked, didn’t it?”
“Holy fuck, did it.” We laughed, a laughter that remembered the years of debauchery, of notoriety and wealth that had filled those heady days. I didn’t miss them. I was happier now than I’d ever been then.
We talked for a while longer before hanging up. Left with my own thoughts again, a wave of need washed over me. It felt like a lifetime since I’d been with her, just the two of us, my arms around her.
I headed for the fire escape door but it opened before I reached it. Circles ringed Elliot’s eyes, the lines in his forehead were deeper than usual.
“The Berne family called. The money arrived, everything's settled. Her father is free and clear and so is she.”
I nodded. “Good, thank you.” I breathed a sigh of relief. Her father had a dirty past but at least I could comfort my girl with the knowledge that he hadn’t had any part in her attack.
“The Isabella is on its way too. Should be with us by tomorrow night.”
“Good. I don’t want to go far. We’ll stick to the coast in case Lola needs more medical attention.” The Isabella was the perfect place for us right now. Far away enough from everything that had happened but still, I’d be able to keep her close.
“It’s been a long few weeks, Elliot. I want to thank you for everything you’ve done. Not just recently but…always.”
Elliot frowned. “You sound like you're saying goodbye. What are you planning, lad?”
“You mean aside from leaving my fathers company and shutting down my club?” I chuckled. “I’m thinking about selling my house.”
“Again?”
“Yeah,” I chuckled again. “Lola likes it here at Harrington. I like it here.” She would never ask to live here, she’d never be so presumptuous, but I could offer it.
It should be our home. I’d known it for a while but only decided on it when she’d asked me to bring her here when we left the hospital.
“So…not a hotel anymore?”
“I don’t know.” I truly didn’t know. For the first time, I didn’t really have a plan. “I’m building a new life, Elliot. I’m not sure what that’s going to look like yet but I want it to be everything that she wants.”
He rested a hand on my shoulder. Then, for the first time in our lives, he pulled me in for a hug, his arms wrapping around me tight. “I’m proud of you, son.”
I was proud of myself too. Without the company or the club I didn’t really know who I was but I knew I was hers and that was enough for me.