Chapter 41
Forty-One
The summer sun warmed my face, sending a sense of calm straight into my soul.
Laughter and chatter surrounded me, a stark contrast from the quiet grief over the last few weeks.
Keira sat on my left, chatting to Natalie about New York life.
I joined in when I felt like it but mostly, I just listened, comforted by the sounds of their voices.
The back patio of Harrington offered a gorgeous view of the grounds and in the distance I watched Alfie and Riley give Ryan a tour of the ‘castle.’
Alfie looked back at me every now and again to check on me. He had only left my side after adjusting my cushions a dozen times and tucking me under a blanket. I didn’t mind. I would rest if it made him happy.
“I can’t believe you won’t even show me a picture of your dress,” Keira was sulking. She’d seen photos of the rejected dresses but the final one, Natalie had wanted to keep a secret. Not even her mum had seen a photo.
“I want it to be a surprise. Speaking of, Riley says he won’t tell me where we’re going on our honeymoon. It needs to be a secret for some reason.”
“Where would you like to go?” I asked.
“Well, I’ve never been anywhere so anywhere would be nice.”
I got a sense of deja vu. I’d said almost the exact same thing to Alfie once standing on the roof of Harrington the first time we’d met.
“Ryan’s staying behind?” Keira asked her.
“Yeah, he’s mad about it but he gets it and we’re going to take a second trip anyway so he’s excited for that. Also he gets to spend time with his new grandpa which he’s over the moon about.”
My stomach turned over and I tried not to let the concern show on my face. “Ryan can stay with Alfie and I,” I offered. I would much rather have him with us than unsupervised with my father.
“That’s okay. You’re still healing and Ryan is a handful. Besides, dad wants to spend some time with him.”
I didn’t know how to tell her that was a bad idea without saying more. Was it a bad idea though? John had brought a mess into my life but Elliot had said he was clear of it now. Maybe it would be fine. Maybe I didn’t want to take the risk.
“They’re staying at the house?”
“Yeah, so they’ll be close if you want to check in.”
I would be checking in. Daily.
“Hey, so Riley told me that Alfie was the one who pulled some strings to make the wedding happen? I wanted to say thank you before I get wrapped up in wedding stuff and forget.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“I’m guessing you’re the one that pulled Alfie’s strings, so thank you.
” Natalie sat back in her chair and sighed.
“I can’t believe it. I’m getting married.
You know, this might sound silly but I’m so happy that Alfie Tell came into our lives.
I know he’s been a whirlwind but look where we are.
I would never have found Riley if you’d never met him. ”
“Every cloud, I guess.”
I gave Keira a look and for once she looked apologetic. Alfie didn’t deserve her jibes. Not anymore.
The day wore on. The sun set, we ate pizza and eventually, Natalie and Riley had to take Ryan home to go to bed. We had a busy day tomorrow.
After walking them out, Alfie returned to us where we were still cosied up on the patio. “Lola, you should come inside. I don’t want you getting too cold.”
“I have a blanket. I’m comfy.”
He frowned but didn’t seem to want to disagree with me. “Alright, I have a few things to tend to. Please call me if you need anything.” He looked at Keira. “Don’t let her do anything strenuous.”
“Sure, because we were going to put up some scaffolding and get to work on an extension because this place isn’t big enough.”
They rolled their eyes at each other and I hid a smile as Alfie went inside.
“So, are you going to tell me everything you haven’t been telling me yet? He’s not hovering over you because of a few bumps and bruises and I’m not buying his bullshit that you just had a car accident. Maia was shot. I’m not stupid, Lola.”
“I know, there’s so much and I don’t want to cry.” We had to have this conversation sooner or later. She’d been waiting to ask me about it all day. “If I tell you now, you can’t tell Natalie. This is her weekend and I’m not going to ruin it.”
“Alright.”
“Actually, you can’t tell anyone. We’d probably all be in deep shit if the police knew the extent of what’s been going on.”
Her frown deepened. “You’re scaring me. Is it Alfie? What’s he involved in?”
“No. It’s not him.” I told her everything. About my father, his mother, Julia. I even told her about the miscarriage. She was the first person I’d actually told, but of course she was, she was so many of my firsts.
She sat quietly for a moment, processing everything I’d told her. Her pouting mouth was set into a line for once as she chewed on her lip.
“How do you feel now about all of it?” That was a loaded question but one I had the answer to.
“I feel ready.”
She turned to look at me, her brown hair falling around her face. “For what?”
“For everything.” I smiled at her. “For the new turn in my career. I’ve ordered camera equipment, did I tell you?
And I’ve started planning the first episode Sid and I are going to put together.
Maybe it won't work out but I’m going to try.
” It had become my new obsession. Maybe it was a distraction from everything that had happened or maybe I was just doing what I’d always done, taking my trauma and channelling it into making something new.
“I’m ready to be married. I’m ready to live here, if ‘here’ is where Alfie wants to be. I’m ready for our future, to get old, to get annoyed with each other.”
I breathed in the evening air. I could swear this place was magic the way it was healing my soul.
“Alfie told me once that the only thing our Evergarden was missing was children. That terrified me then but not anymore. I’m so sure of him now and I’m certain of my strength in a way I’ve never been before.
” I met my friends eyes, deep and brown and as familiar to me as my own.
“You don’t need to worry about me, Keira.
I’m ready to live life without the training wheels now, like you always have. ”
“Still, I’ll always be here. I’ll always need us.”
“Me too.” I slipped my hand into hers. “It doesn’t matter where you are, you know. New York or Mars, you’ll still be my favourite person.”
She nodded, squeezing my hand tight. She took a sip of her drink, tossing back the rum and coke so she didn’t cry.
“You’d be a good mother, Lola. Dating Moneybags has proved you’ve got the patience of a saint if nothing else.”
I burst out laughing and just like that, the tension of the moment melted away.
“By the way, did you ever go and get the ‘treasure’ from your old house?”
The treasure. I hadn’t thought about it in weeks. With everything that had happened, I’d just forgotten about it.
“Yeah, it’s in my luggage. Somehow Alfie hasn’t found it yet.” We’d promised each other no more secrets but maybe this little one could keep until our wedding day.
“Hey,” I said, “you called it my ‘old house.’ You’ve never said that before.” I didn’t like to think of my childhood home that way. It was still mine, my bedroom was still there and my name was still on the deed.
“Well it is, isn’t it? You don’t live there anymore and you aren’t going back? I know your memory garden is still there but that's not your home anymore, is it?”
I knew she didn’t mean for her words to hurt but they did all the same. Still, it was a good kind of hurt. The kind that told me I was letting go of something that I didn’t need to hold onto anymore. I didn’t need to clutch onto the memories of my mum and gran so tightly now.
“No, I suppose it’s not.” Maybe it was time for a conversation with Natalie about changing some paperwork.