Chapter 45
Forty-Five
ONE YEAR LATER.
It was perfect. But of course it was. Keira would never make anything for me that was less than perfect.
My wedding dress sat off my shoulders, white lace covering a bodice that pulled me tight.
The skirt flared out, layers of delicate fabric covered in tiny flowers embroidered one at a time by Keira’s own hands.
They were the most faded pink petals, blending into the dress so subtly you almost missed them.
A veil pulled my hair off my face and left it trailing down my back, exactly how Alfie liked it.
My mothers necklace sat on my collarbone, Alfie’s ring on my finger and my ears wore the surprise I’d managed to keep from Alfie for over a year now.
I stared at myself in the mirror. Keira sat, a hand over her mouth and tears forming in her eyes.
“How do you feel?”
“I feel ready.” I’d expected to be nervous but I wasn’t, not even a little bit.
She stood and smoothed a lock of hair over my shoulder. “You look ready.” She gave me a watery-eyed smile. “I can’t believe we’re here. Do you remember fighting over a barbie on our first day in nursery school?”
“I remember you stole it and wouldn’t give it back.” I nudged her with my elbow. “I remember we got our first ever periods on the same day.”
“Yeah, during double P.E. It was like a scene from Carrie.” She shuddered at the memory. “I got my first kiss before you. You were so jealous.”
“I was not. That boy was gross.” The boy whose name I couldn’t remember but I did remember he always had food in his braces. “I remember you were there for my mum's funeral.”
“I remember you bought me a cake when my shitty parents forgot my birthday.”
“Prom.” We both said at the same time and burst out laughing. We’d shared a bottle of champagne we shouldn’t have had and ended the night puking in the bushes.
“I couldn’t have done any of it without you.”
“Shut up,” she huffed. “This make-up cost a fortune.” She fanned her face and turned away from me. “I’ll meet you downstairs. You take a minute and then we’ll walk down. Hurry though, or Moneybags will come and get you himself.”
She left me alone. For the first time in what felt like forever, I was on my own.
The last weeks had been a cacophony of celebrations.
There was the trip we all took to Dublin to meet my father’s family and see where he grew up.
Then the bachelorette party. The mad whirlwind of building the bleeding heart sculptures with Sid and of course, dealing with all the tiny details that went into planning a wedding.
Getting everything ready and just right.
I was getting married.
I walked to the window, overlooking the grounds, the smattering of trees that hid our evergarden where everyone was waiting for me. As always, my hand went to my necklace. She was with me.
I was ready. Ready for the rest of my life with the man I loved more than anything.
I was ready for a lifetime of arched eyebrows and dirty words over a smooth tongue.
None of it seemed frightening anymore. I could suddenly see our path.
I saw us getting old, I saw our children.
I saw how we could meet in the middle every day.
I picked up my bouquet of bleeding hearts. It was time.
I took the stairs instead of the small elevator Alfie had installed last year. He hated ruining the aesthetic but Ada complained about climbing the stairs so he’d had one built, tucked away into a closet out of sight.
I wanted to take my time walking through our home. Home. It was still surreal that this was my home now. No longer a hotel, Alfie had remodelled it. The top two floors for us, the first floor for Ada and Elliot and whichever of our family wanted to visit.
The gold ballroom would stay, not just for aesthetic, but for nostalgia and for our wedding dinner later.
I found Keira in the entrance hall, leaning against Damien, head bent in private conversation.
“Wow,” he said as I approached. “Alfie’s going to lose his mind.”
“It’s all Keira.” I still couldn’t believe she’d embroidered each little flower by hand. “How is he?”
“Impatient. I’ll go and tell him you’re ready?”
He left and Keira held her hand out. “Ready for the long walk?”
It was a perfect day. For once, the skies were clear, there was no rain, no need to worry my dress was going to be ruined.
As I approached the grass steps and the flower wheels covered with honeysuckle and jasmine that would lead me down to our Evergarden, my heart started to beat a little faster.
Music was playing, that was our cue. Keira squeezed my hand then let go. The long walk I was doing on my own.
It had taken me a while to decide whether to follow tradition or not with regards to being given away.
In the end, I’d decided to take a leaf out of Alfie’s book and set my own rules.
I loved my dad, I loved Keira too and Natalie and Ryan and Elliot, all people who had offered to walk me down the aisle.
But I wanted to do it alone. I wanted to stand on my own two feet.
If my dad had been upset by my decision, he didn’t show it.
Besides, we still had our father-daughter dance that I’d watched him rehearsing for on his own when he thought no one was looking.
I watched Keira disappear and waited for the music to change. When it did, I gripped my bouquet tighter, and took my first step.
We hadn’t decorated the Evergarden, there was no need. The sea of bluebells and the cherry tree over the lily-filled lake were enough.
A sea of familiar faces turned to me and I felt anxious at being the centre of attention. I might be on camera for a living now but that didn’t make this part any easier.
As always when I was uncomfortable, I searched for him and as soon as I found his eyes, my spirit settled.
I walked past Rosie and her labrador, Violet. Sid was smiling wide, looking very dapper in his crushed velvet suit. I walked past the Tellers, Cas blew me a kiss and Kal winked. Even Eli looked somewhat happy with Maia tucked into his side.
Ada was dabbing her face with a hanky and even Elliot looked glassyeyed. Grace and Ethan wore beaming smiles.
Natalie and Riley took up my row, baby Polly sleeping peacefully on Natalie's chest. Ryan waved at me, he was so much taller than he’d been a year ago.
As I reached the front, my dad stepped out to kiss my cheek briefly before letting me go.
Keira stood on one side, doing her best impression of a person who absolutely wasn’t crying and Damien pressed a hand on Alfie’s shoulder as I finally reached him.
My love stood by the plinth covered in bleeding hearts, waiting for me as if he’d been waiting his whole life.
His gaze swept over me, from the flower embroidered hem to the dip of my neckline. Those steel grey eyes absorbed every bit of me, sealing me in his memory forever. He frowned when he landed on my earrings. I knew I wouldn’t have to tell him. Alfie Tell was a man of details.
“They’re not…?”
“They are. Diamonds don’t apologise, remember?” Alfie had given them to me once upon a time after one of our many arguments. I had given them to Ryan who had buried them in the garden as part of his pirate game. They were ‘treasure.’ “I dug them up a year ago,” I told him.
“I helped!” Ryan called out and our families laughed.
Alfie kissed me suddenly and as always, the world fell away and I forgot anything else existed. That was until the officiant coughed loud enough to wake the dead. We broke away, not bothering to look sheepish.
“Are we ready to start?” she asked.
Alfie and I looked at each other.
We’d been ready since our first kiss in this garden, back when it was barren land and the flowers were only a dream.
I closed my eyes, shivering as his fingers brushed over my skin. My veil lay somewhere nearby, cast away and thrown onto the floor like an old skin.
My husband held my hair in a fist, kissing a trail of kisses along my shoulder. My mouth watered, my skin felt like it was on fire. Would this feeling ever stop? I hoped not. I had just bound myself to this man for eternity with the two most dangerous words. I do.
“You’ve driven me mad today, woman. You’ve danced with too many other people, given away too many smiles that should only be for me.”
He unzipped my dress, the bodice opened, leaving me in the strapless corset Keira had specially made for me.
He walked away from me, leaving me bereft. But the way he smouldered at me, those grey eyes turning molten as they swept over my curves.
“I know I said you could pick something for me to wear on our wedding night but I figured you’d be happy with this.”
He nodded. “It works.”
I almost laughed. That sounded like the understatement of the century considering that he hadn’t stopped staring at me.
“The only thing I got for you to wear tonight is this.” He picked up a box that had been lying on the bed, watching me ominously as Alfie had begun his seduction.
He opened it and pulled out a gold chain.
It had a loop at both ends. I frowned but before I could ask, he looped one end over my wrist and the other loop over his own.
He pulled it taut. My mouth fell open as I realised what he’d done.
“You know you don’t need to chain me to you, right? I’m not going to run away from you anymore.”
Alfie only smiled. He threaded his fingers into my hair until he was cupping my face, his thumb smoothing over my lips. “By the time I’m done with you tonight you might try to. This will just stop you from doing anything stupid.”
“Stupid? Are you trying to scare me? You’re just a big faker, Alfie.
” I reached up on my toes and kissed him.
He growled when I nipped his lip, making me smile.
I walked us backward and pushed him onto the bed.
He fell onto the mattress, the chain tightening and tugging me with him. I landed on top of him with a giggle.
His mouth found mine, his free hand fisted in my hair, giving him a sense of control.
Our bound hands held together. I reached between us, freed his erection and with a skill I hadn’t possessed when we first met, I positioned myself and pushed down on him, taking him to the hilt the way he’d taught me to.
I gasped and his jaw tightened. I watched him take my worship, my pleasure.
“Nothing exists but us, my love.” I wrapped a hand around his throat as I began to ride him. “Nothing exists for you but me.”
His eyes flashed as I worked myself over him. “That’s it, Lola. Show me what I’ve made you.”
Didn’t he know already? He’d made me his and made himself mine. His body, his skin, his tongue. His fucking name was mine. It lived in my mouth. It was carved on my heart. It would be the last thing I ever said when I left this life.
Alfie. Alfie. Alfie….