Chapter Seventeen Hollis
Chapter Seventeen
Hollis
I peeled off Reed’s shirt and flung it onto the bed, fighting back tears as Ranger scratched at the door.
I hesitantly opened up, worried Reed might be out there, too. The coast was clear, so I let Ranger in and shut the door.
He sat by the bed, eyeing it as if waiting for permission to jump up. “It’s okay, come on.” I plopped down on top of his dad’s shirt, and he curled up next to me, resting his head on my bare thigh.
I patted around in search of my phone and finally located it. Before I’d left my family’s estate, Julian had given me a disposable cell with his number, our parents’, Lyra’s, and Gideon’s programmed in it.
Lyra: You doing okay? I miss you.
I stared at her words, my chest aching at the fact I didn’t miss her since she was a stranger to me.
Me: It’s late where you are. Go to sleep.
Lyra: Well, I’m up. Talk to me.
In that case, I did have a question.
Me: Any chance you can tell me what happened when you went to my flat in London with Dad? Find anything?
Me: Or are you sworn to secrecy about all things related to me since I ran away?
Lyra: I don’t trust Julian’s not reading our texts for Grumpy Gideon.
Grumpy? More like terrifying. Also, talk about an invasion of our privacy, but since the phone came from Julian, I shouldn’t be surprised he’d be monitoring my conversations. Also my every movement, more than likely.
Lyra: Your flat was tossed. Your place in the South of France, too. Dad sent someone to check it since you were here and there two weeks ago.
Lyra: And, Julian, if you’re reading this:
Me: So, someone went through my stuff at the hotel and my two places over there. What were they searching for, and why not just ask me if they had me? Something doesn’t add up, right?
Lyra: That’s what I heard Dad say to Gideon. Unless they wiped your memories first before asking, assuming you wouldn’t talk, even if interrogated.
Lyra: Right, Julian/Gideon?
Me: He’s probably asleep, like you should be.
Lyra: None of us can sleep, you kidding?
Lyra: I wish you didn’t leave, but I kind of get why you did.
You wanted to be near your best friend (I’m a little jealous of her btw) and you’ve really grown close to those Delta operators this year, so .
. . Nope, not toooo shocked you chose them over your family even though everyone’s a stranger.
Me: I’m sorry.
That was the best I could do. I didn’t know how to explain why I knew I was safe with Reed. Though, after his little speech to me in the kitchen, maybe I needed to rethink this living situation. It was possible he did hate me and I’d been misreading things, since I wasn’t exactly in my right mind.
Lyra: It’s okay you’re closer to someone else. I’m still number 2 & Julian would give anything for that precious spot, wouldn’t ya, J? He thinks because you’re twins he should be your #1, but the man can’t get his head out from behind his screen, so it’s his fault.
Me: You’re making me feel a little better, btw. Thank you.
Lyra: I’m here for you, always. Just worried about you.
Me: Something tells me we’re not a family of worriers. Apparently, Julian smiles/laughs when nervous. Gideon, well . . . broods harder?
Me: What am I like?
Lyra: You pretend that everything is fine. No nervous laughter though. Fake it until you make it kind of thing.
Lyra: Sometimes you can’t hide your feelings. It’s rare, but it happens. Gotta be pretty bad for you to show any signs of . . .
Me: Weakness? That’s what our lovely mother would call it, right?
Lyra: More like show signs you’re actually human. Mortal. Sometimes I wonder
Me: What about you? How do you handle things?
Lyra: Pretending everything is good, just like you do. Also, insomnia, which is why I’m up now. You went missing for a day, and I can’t stop thinking about what happened to you while you were gone. Makes me sick to my stomach. So glad you’re back, of course. But . . .
When she put it that way. Missing for a day. Why’d those words hit me like I was being stoned to death by them? Fear trickled in slowly before whipping me hard and fast, propelling me to the floor to stand.
No, no, no. Chills beat down my bare skin, and my teeth clicked together. I cupped my mouth as liquid gathered in my eyes while Ranger jumped from the bed to stand next to me, offering his paw and support.
It was Reed I needed, even if he could hardly stand me. He could calm me down, I knew it. Anything to stop the what-if scenarios playing in my head as I imagined what may have happened to me during those missing hours.
Me: You should try and sleep. I will too.
My teeth chattered and my hand trembled as I texted her.
Lyra: Love you.
Me:
That was the best I could do for now. I tossed the phone on the bed and rushed to the door. I flung it open, only to stumble in surprise that Reed was there, hands braced on the doorframe.
“You’re here,” I sputtered, catching a tear with my tongue before launching myself into his arms.
He went stiff at the contact as I crushed myself against his hard frame, my cheek pressing tight to his chest, truly breaking down for the first time since I’d woken up in that coffin.
A few seconds later, he wrapped me in his arms, a hand to my bare back, another cradling my head.
Our first hug, apparently.
“I got you,” he promised in a hoarse voice as I trembled, sobbing. He kept hold of me, letting me unleash every ounce of sadness I’d held back before this point, while whispering, “I’m not going anywhere.”
My ugly cries mixed with the sounds of Ranger’s worrying whimpers as he pawed my leg.
I wasn’t sure how long we stayed like that—seconds or minutes—but when the tears slowed down, I lifted my head to look up at him.
He framed my face between his big hands and stared at me like I was the light at the end of his tunnel.
“Twenty-four hours gone,” I said softly, hiccupping. “It just hit me that they . . .”
“They what?” His fingers gently pressed into my damp skin, and his thumbs caught more tears. “Do you remember something?”
I lightly shook my head. “I’d know if they did that, wouldn’t I? Or made me do something, right?”
His eyes immediately tightened on mine, understanding what I was trying to ask without spelling it out.
I’d swear the blood visibly drained from his face as he processed my questions.
“No,” he gritted out, lowering his hands to my bare shoulders and then to the sides of my arms. “I don’t believe that.
We don’t know why you were taken, but it’s most likely someone who you’d let in your own house.
They knew you, and I . . .” His words trailed off, like he didn’t have it in him to lie to me.
Memories or not, I was well aware that sometimes the people you knew the best were the ones to cause you the most pain. A gut feeling, at least.
“I don’t hurt anywhere.” Just my chest. “But I have a million horrific ideas from A to Z that could have happened flying through my mind.” I stepped out of his arms and swiped the backs of my hands across my cheeks.
I supposed even warriors could have their hot mess moments.
I didn’t have to be one or the other. Julian had told me to hang somewhere in between while I worked through this, and maybe he was right.
Also, now I was feeling bad for turning my back on my twin.
My whole family. But . . . I still had questions.
“I, um, was so distracted by waking up without my memories I didn’t stop to think about those missing hours.” Ranger slipped between us and plopped down on my bare feet, and I forced a smile, not wanting him to worry about me. “People don’t deserve dogs.”
“I say that all the time.” His gravelly voice had me peering at him, but I couldn’t meet his eyes because his were pointed at the ceiling, throat muscles taut, a vein visible.
I shivered, realizing I was covered in chills for more than one reason. I was only in a bra and panties, and that was why this man was respectfully looking anywhere but at me.
“I’m sorry. I was mad and took off your shirt. I’m clearly not acting like myself.” I stepped away to grab his shirt from the bed.
“Not your fault.” His voice was steady. Calming, even. “Also, I’m sorry I upset you in the kitchen.”
“Not your fault, either.” I swallowed. “I pushed you, which is probably one reason you didn’t like me before.”
He didn’t reject the idea. Didn’t say anything at all. Just remained quietly standing in the hall, hands on the doorframe, head bowed, and eyes closed.
Shirt on, I dropped on the bed and patted the spot next to me, signaling for Ranger to join me. “I’m dressed.”
Reed slowly looked at me, dispensing a deep breath before crossing into my room. “You’re going through a lot right now. The least I can do is be, uh, cordial while you’re here.”
“O-okay.” You really don’t like me, but based on how I’m feeling, I was only pretending to dislike you before.
I stroked Ranger’s head, finally calming down, but that oddly opened my mind to new what-if ideas, and a movie memory popped up and had me rushing out, “Wait, what if they Jason Bourne’d me?”
He frowned and cupped the back of his head at the base of his skull. His arm muscle flexed, temporarily drawing my eye to his obvious strength. “You mean—”
“Used my skills to do something for them.” My heartbeat pulsed up into my ears at the new theory percolating.
“They didn’t need to super-soldier me because I’m apparently already that girl, but maybe they brainwashed me into committing a crime, then wiped my memories so I wouldn’t remember I did it.
” I stopped petting Ranger and stood. “Anyone get assassinated while I was missing?” Did I really just casually ask that?
He grimaced. “Not that I’m aware of, no.”
That’s a relief. “What if they needed me to access something that only someone in my family could, and then they wanted me to forget afterward and used the drug on me?” I proposed next before my eyes went wide as another idea lanced my mind.
He closed the space between us, and his warm, rough palm slid down my forearm and to my wrist. “You’d never talk. Too stubborn—I mean, strong.”
“I—I don’t know. If they threatened people I cared about . . . ?”
“Maybe now’s not the best time to make guesses.” He let go as if just realizing he was holding on to me. “You’re scared and overtired.”
He was right. I’d had a good cry and a welcoming hug. Sleep was needed, and with any luck, tomorrow would be the day answers would come.
“Get some rest. I’m going to check in with my team, then do another perimeter sweep. You know, make sure your brothers see me from those satellites they’ve probably hacked so they know I’m not dropping the ball.”
I couldn’t believe it, but he had me cracking a smile.
He surprised me when he leaned in and slanted his mouth over my ear. “I gotta keep my heart in my chest.” He paused for a moment as I recalled Gideon’s words to him. Then he pulled back to find my eyes and added in a husky voice, “I can’t risk having it cut out . . . now, can I?”