Chapter 17
JUNO
Ipaced around my apartment like a caged animal, my bare feet wearing a path in the hardwood. Back and forth. Back and forth.
I couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss.
My fingers kept finding their way to my lips, tracing where his mouth had been. I could still feel the pressure. That sexy, gentle way he’d cupped my cheek.
Dammit. Of course he would have to be a good kisser.
“This is insane,” I muttered to the empty apartment. “Absolutely insane.”
I should have been mad. I was mad.
He’d kissed me in an elevator. And I’d let him. No, I hadn’t just let him. I’d participated. Enthusiastically.
My face burned at the memory of how I’d grabbed his shoulders, pulled him closer, and made that embarrassing sound when his tongue had slipped into my mouth. God, what was wrong with me?
I grabbed the bottle of wine from the counter, poured myself a generous glass, took a long drink, and sighed. The Pinot Noir slid down smooth and warm, but it did nothing to quiet the chaos in my head. I should have said something on the plane when he attempted to discuss the situation.
Instead, I’d shut him down. Very mature, Juno. Really professional.
I poured another glass and collapsed onto my couch. What would I have said, though?
“Thanks for the kiss, but let’s keep this professional?”
“That was great, let’s never speak of it again?”
“You tasted like chocolate and I hate that I liked it?”
I burst into laughter, sounding a bit like a lunatic. The wine was making my head fuzzy. I should stop. Put the bottle away, drink some water, go to bed like a responsible adult.
Instead, I refilled my glass. Because responsible Juno had apparently taken the day off.
She would come back to work tomorrow. For now, irresponsible Juno was going to get drunk and daydream about the sexiest man she’d ever kissed.
Irresponsible Juno had looked at Hollis Blackwell like he was a goddamn snack, and then, because that version of me had zero survival instincts, she went ahead and kissed him.
I went ahead and kissed him.
I groaned and pressed my wine glass against my forehead.
“You’re an idiot,” I told myself. “A complete fucking idiot.”
Even as I said it, heat pooled low in my belly. That kiss had been incredible. Mind-melting. It made me want to do very unprofessional things in very inappropriate places.
I drained the third glass and poured a fourth. The bottle was almost empty. When had that happened?
Should I text him? No, I should block his number and change my name and move to Alaska.
The wine was definitely making me dramatic. I decided to get some sleep instead of cracking open a second bottle.
I barely made it into the office the next morning.
My head pounded with every step. I swore I could feel wine sloshing in my belly.
I looked like death warmed over despite my best efforts with concealer.
Ever since Hollis Blackwell had come into my life, I’d been suffering from more hangovers than normal.
It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why.
I made it to my floor, sunglasses still on, and stumbled into the breakroom, desperate for coffee. Kari was already there.
She took one look at me and her eyebrows shot up. “What’s up, rock star? Rough night?”
“Don’t ask,” I muttered, making my way to the coffeemaker.
My hands shook as I reached for a mug. I had woken up late and didn’t even have enough time to make myself toast. I needed bread. Something to soak up the alcohol and raise my blood sugar.
“Here, let me.” Kari gently took the mug from my hands and started making my coffee the way I liked it.
“Thanks,” I mumbled and rummaged through the basket with the little snack-size chips, crackers, and cookies. I grabbed one of each, then ripped open a granola bar and took a bite. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it wasn’t about want.
I had fallen into necessity. I needed food.
“Not to stage an intervention or anything,” Kari said as she put the warm cup in my hand, “but this is the second time you’ve shown up hungover recently.”
I slumped against the counter and closed my eyes. “I know.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“Not really.” I inhaled the strong caffeine first and then took a sip. And then another sip.
Kari watched me. “Want to talk about it anyway?”
“I’ve just been really stressed recently,” I said and took another bite of the granola bar. “With the B Well partnership and the viral video and everything. The trip. And then flying back. Jet lag.”
I had a lot of excuses and it was perfectly acceptable to use every damn one of them.
“Juno.” Kari’s voice was gentle. “I’ve known you for three years. I’ve seen you stressed. This is different.”
I opened my eyes and looked at her. She wasn’t judging me. She was just worried.
“It’s complicated,” I admitted.
“How complicated are we talking? Is there math involved?”
I took another long drink of coffee, buying myself time.
Could I tell her? Should I tell her? If I didn’t get it out, I could very well implode.
Kari was trustworthy. She bought me tampons and picked up my birth control.
She wasn’t going to tell my dad. And he was the only one I wanted to make sure never found out.
“I kissed Hollis Blackwell,” I blurted out. “Or he kissed me. We kissed each other. In an elevator. In New York.”
Kari’s mouth fell open. She stared at me for several long seconds. I scarfed down the rest of my granola bar while she tried to process what I’d just told her. I understood the shocked feeling.
“Hence the wine,” I said when my mouth was no longer full. “I needed something settle my nerves and relax.”
“Fuck the wine. Rewind back to that kiss.” Kari shook her head like she needed to clear her mind of this lunacy.
“I think he just got caught up in the moment,” I said, shrugging. “I know, I know. It was stupid and unprofessional and I have no idea what I’m doing and now I can’t stop thinking about it. So I drank an entire bottle of wine last night trying to make my brain shut up.”
“Did it help?” she asked.
“Not really.” I took my sunglasses off and rubbed my eyes. “And the worst part is it was amazing, Kari. Like, life-alteringly good. And I hate that. I hate that he’s good at kissing on top of everything else. The world is not fair.”
Kari continued staring at me. It stretched on for so long I actually feared she might have stroked out right in from of me. Then a slow smile spread across her face. “You naughty little minx.”
“Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you think this is exciting. It’s not. It’s a disaster.”
“It’s a little exciting,” she said, still grinning. “No one else has been kissing you for as long as I’ve worked for you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Thank you for reminding me my love life is dead.”
“And it was good?” she prompted.
“Too good,” I said with a sigh.
“How can a kiss be too good?”
“Because I want more.”
“No shit. I want one.”
I huffed out a laugh and shook my head. “I don’t think he hands them out. Or maybe he does. He probably does. He kissed me and it wasn’t a big deal. Just a kiss.”
“If it wasn’t a big deal, why did you get wasted last night?”
“Kari, you don’t understand,” I said, crumpling the granola-bar wrapper. “I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask to be partnered with him. My father forced this whole thing on me. And now I’m supposed to just what? Pretend I didn’t have his tongue in my mouth?”
“You could try enjoying it,” Kari suggested, leaning against the counter with her own coffee.
“Enjoying what? The humiliation? The complete loss of professional boundaries?” I was getting worked up, my voice rising. “This is exactly what I didn’t want. I’m supposed to be evaluating his business, not evaluating his kissing skills. Which, for the record, are annoyingly excellent.”
“You mentioned that already.”
“Because it demands repeating!” I threw my hands up, nearly spilling my coffee.
“Everything about this is wrong. He’s cocky and entitled and he thinks he can just smile and get whatever he wants.
And the worst part? He probably can. He probably kisses women all the time and they just fall at his feet. ”
“Are you falling at his feet?”
“No!” I paused. “I nearly did in that elevator, though.”
“Juno!” She laughed and looked around. “I think you might still be drunk.”
I pressed my fingers to my temples. “My brain is too pickled to think straight.”
Kari studied me for a moment, her head tilted. “Can I ask you something?”
“Can I stop you?”
“Why does he get under your skin so much?”
I opened my mouth to respond, but she held up a hand.
“And I don’t mean the kiss. I mean before that. From the very beginning, you’ve been extra hostile toward him. More than you are with other people you’re vetting.”
“Because he’s… him.”
“Hot?”
“No. I mean, duh, but no.”
“Rich?”
“That’s part of it.”
“Successful?”
I glared at her. “Whose side are you on?”
“Yours, always. But, Juno, half the women in this office have been drooling over him since that first video. Can’t you just appreciate the view like the rest of us? Why does everything have to be so intense with you two?”
I drained the rest of my coffee and immediately went for a second cup. “Because he represents everything I’ve spent my entire career fighting against.”
“You know he’s not a grifter like you thought he was,” she said.
I wanted to argue but the hangover and the exhaustion were all swirling together into one massive headache.
“This is a mess,” I muttered. “Everything is a huge mess.”
“Let me get this straight,” Kari said, a smile playing at her lips. “A hot, athletic billionaire wants to kiss you, and you’re complaining about it?”
“Yes. Because I still have to work with him. It complicates things.”
“Oh, because you’re thinking about his mouth on yours? What else you might want that mouth to do?”
“Kari!”
“What? I’m just saying what you’re thinking.”
“You’re not helping.”
“I’m not trying to help. I’m trying to get you to admit that maybe this doesn’t have to be a disaster. Maybe it could be fun.”
“Fun.” I laughed, but it came out harsh. “Yeah, really fun when my father finds out.”
“I can keep a secret.”
“I don’t even like him.”
She laughed. “So what are you going to do?”
I rubbed my face, careful not to smudge what little makeup I’d managed to apply. “I don’t know.”
“You could cut him loose. Tell your father he’s not a good fit for future projects. End the partnership. Then you never have to see him again.”
“We still have to work on this project and I’m not ready to blow the whole thing up just yet. The PriceCo deal is solid. It could be very lucrative.” I sighed. “I suppose we need to talk. Clear the air.”
“There’s the Juno I know,” Kari said, smiling. “The one who faces problems head on instead of drowning them in wine.”
I pulled out my phone and stared at it.
“Just text him,” Kari urged. “Keep it simple. Don’t overthink it.”
“Easier said than done. Did I mention I was a total bitch to him on the flight home? Like I said two words. I completely ignored him.”
She winced. “Well, you dug yourself a deep hole.”
“Thank you. That’s very helpful.”
“Go to your desk. I’ll order you some breakfast. And one of those hydration smoothies. Then you’ll be able to think clearly.”
I nodded. “Let’s hope so.”