Chapter 20
And of course, of course, in all the time I could have run into him, it had to be tonight.
Gabby and I both turned. I saw shock register in Tomas’s eyes before they flicked to Ashok and darkened with anger.
‘Kitty?’ There was so much more contained in that one word than I could even begin to put into words but somehow, I understood all of it immediately.
‘Kitty, you remember my brother, Tomas?’
I shifted my bruised eyes to her, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. Gabby, in turn, had an uncertain expression on her face. After all, how did you introduce the once love of someone’s life to them after a gap of thirty years, especially when it had all ended so badly?
‘I do, yes,’ I replied, almost automatically, my mind still running round in circles, trying to decide which emotion to pick. ‘Hello, Tomas.’
‘Hello, Kitty.’ God, I’d always loved the way he’d said my name and it turned out, from the suddenly squishy feeling in my stomach, that, at least, hadn’t changed. The sensible part of my brain strutted over and gave me a kick and I gave an almost physical start.
‘Kitty and I ran into each other by the bathroom! Isn’t that incredible? They’ve asked us to join them for coffee. We do have so much to catch up on. This is Kitty’s friend, Ashok. Ashok, this my brother, Tomas.’
Ashok, only a fraction shorter than Tomas, held out a hand in greeting.
Tomas had never been good at hiding his emotions back then and apparently, little had changed in that respect. It was also evident that he didn’t think them joining us this was the fabulous idea the rest of us did. But he took Ashok’s hand and shook it.
‘Bonsoir.’
‘Bonsoir.’
‘Wouldn’t that be wonderful, Tomas?’ Gabby gave him a verbal prod, accompanied by a look that few would argue with. Tomas, unless he’d very much changed, was one of those few.
His gaze shifted back to his sister. ‘I thought you wanted to get back early this evening?’
So, no, apparently he hadn’t changed, at least not in that aspect.
‘No, not particularly,’ she replied lightly.
Ashok, who’d barely been able to take his eyes off my old friend since we’d approached the table, signalled a waiter and requested in perfect French for two more chairs to be brought.
I didn’t miss the glance of appreciation from Gabby as he did so, nor the suspicious one from Tomas.
Chairs were found and Tomas was overruled.
Fresh coffee and teas were ordered – the one Ashok had ordered for me earlier having long gone cold as Gabby and I caught up in the ladies’.
‘I can’t believe you’re here!’ Gabby started, her hand taking mine as I rested it on the white linen of the tablecloth.
‘I’ve hoped for years that I might run into you one day.
’ Her eyes filled with tears and I felt like a shit for not keeping in touch with my friend.
It wasn’t her fault that her brother hadn’t stood up for the woman he professed to love.
‘This is actually my first time back in Paris since… back then.’
I felt Tomas’s eyes on me but refused to meet them.
‘No!’ Gabby put her other hand to her chest. ‘C’est vrai?’
‘Very vrai, I’m afraid. You know… life and all that.’
‘Oh,’ she replied as we waited for the waiters to place the white bone china cups and saucers down on the table, so fine they were semi-translucent, along with a large cafetière, glass teapot and all the necessary accoutrements and condiments.
The waiter asked if we required anything else, was advised by Ashok with a smile and thanks that we didn’t and moved away.
Gabby turned to me, her hand still holding mine. ‘Well, you are here now so. Alors! Tell me everything about your life now.’
We’d given each other some brief details in the loos but now I gave a potted version of the last three decades, purposely avoiding looking Tomas’s way when I recounted my wedding, the birth of my daughter and more recently, my divorce.
‘Do you have a photo of your daughter?’ Gabby asked.
‘Thousands!’ I said, laughing, pulling my phone from the chic clutch bag Sash had lent me for the evening. Quickly, I opened the gallery app and scrolled through a few. Gabby took the phone and continued. ‘Oh, she is so beautiful.’ She glanced at me. ‘She takes after her maman.’
‘I’m not sure about that,’ I replied, the automatic self-deprecation kicking in as usual.
Tomas leant towards his sister so that he could see the screen. ‘Gabby is right. She does.’
It was the first time he’d spoken since his attempt to avoiding joining us. His gaze flicked up from the phone and met mine.
‘Thank you,’ I said, for lack of anything else to say while my brain momentarily set itself to pause without my permission.
‘Perhaps you have already explained to my sister, but why are you bruised?’ he asked, looking for a moment at Ashok before turning back to me.
‘Oh!’ My hand went automatically to my temple. Caught up in our memories, I’d temporarily forgotten about the state of my face. ‘I slipped in the bath last night.’
It was obvious he didn’t believe me. This was what I’d worried about on Ashok’s behalf.
A more kind and gentle man I’d never met and I hated that anyone might think he was in any way responsible for my injuries.
His earlier dismissal of my worry had settled my concerns somewhat but the fact that Tomas doubted my explanation bothered me more than it should have.
Strangers thinking something was easier to ignore but then again, what was Tomas to me now but yet another stranger?
I felt my hackles rise. What right did he have to judge me or my friend?
He’d given up that right the moment he’d let his mother treat me like I was well below par as a potential partner for their son.
‘My daughter was there if you feel you need confirmation, Tomas. If not, then I’d appreciate it if you’d stop giving Ashok dirty looks. ’
Wow! Where the hell had that come from?
For years, I’d been the peacemaker. The smoother of ruffled feathers amongst our acquaintances and family, but Tomas had pushed a button.
‘It’s fine, Katherine.’ Ashok shrugged the suspicion off. Let them, he had said. But for some reason, I wasn’t able to ‘let’ Tomas.
‘No, Ashok, it’s not fine.’
For a few long moments, silence settled over the table.
Tomas and I locked eyes and despite the boundless love I’d once felt for him, all that burned in me now was anger and hurt and I wasn’t sure if that was because he’d refused to accept my word, thereby insulting both me and my friend, or for reasons that went far further back.
He swallowed then broke the gaze, turning to Ashok.
‘My apologies.’ He held out his hand to Ashok. Ashok hesitated for a fraction of a moment before taking it.
‘Accepted. Thank you. Shall we begin again? It’s a pleasure to meet you, Tomas. I’m Ashok, a friend of Katherine’s.’
‘Tomas Bertholle. I used to be a friend of Kitty’s.’ As their hands separated, Tomas’s eyes once again met mine and for a moment, there was a flicker of a smile. ‘I was young and stupid enough to mess that up – something I’ve regretted ever since.’
I felt frozen in place. Part of me wanted to go to him, to have him hold me as he’d done so many times. The other half wanted to scream at him that he had no right to say those words. He’d had his chance and I’d moved on. Made a life. Without him.
‘Well said!’ Gabby said, placing her coffee cup back on the saucer. ‘Glad to see the old Kitty is still in there somewhere, putting my brother back in his place.’ She turned to Ashok. ‘Kitty was one of the few who always stood up to him.’
‘This is true,’ Tomas agreed. ‘If I hadn’t met Kitty all those years ago, I dread to think what kind of person I’d have become. Unbearable, I suspect.’
Gabby wiggled her head to and fro. ‘There are still plenty of times you are unbearable.’
Her brother grinned and my stomach flipped before my brain sent down a very sternly worded message telling it to behave.
‘Probably also true.’
‘So what are you doing in Paris?’ Gabby asked Ashok. ‘Apart from visiting your friend.’ She darted a look at her brother and I smiled inwardly. The days of attempting to make him jealous on my behalf were long gone, whatever platitudes he spouted.
‘A business trip,’ Ashok replied. ‘Sadly not a long one.’
‘But perhaps you might be back again soon?’
‘I very much hope so,’ he replied as they exchanged a flirtatious smile.
‘And what business is it that you are in?’ Tomas asked.
‘Hospitality. Specifically hotels.’
‘I first met Ashok when I stayed at one of his beautiful hotels in Goa last year with my daughter.’
‘You got to India then?’ Tomas replied, his eyes softening as the faintest of smiles tipped his lips. ‘I’m glad. I remember you had always wanted to go there.’
My heart swelled with a mixture of emotions that were hard to separate or even name. When I looked up, I saw some of those same emotions reflected in Tomas’s eyes. Travelling India together was another one of the many plans we’d made that had never become reality.
‘Did you ever go?’ I asked, making sure to keep the question light and conversational despite my insides churning like a washing machine on super spin mode.
He shook his head.
‘You really should. It’s an incredible country.’
A smile that got lost long before reaching the deep blue eyes touched his lips. Just as quickly, it was gone.
‘So what are you doing here? I thought you had planned to move to Provence?’ I focused on Gabby, pulling myself away from the look on Tomas’s face.
I wasn’t going back there. I couldn’t. I’d put those memories, the many plans we’d had away in a corner of my mind and gradually, other memories had piled up in front of them but they were never quite hidden. As much as I tried, a glimmer always remained.
‘Oh, I did. But I’ve been back in Paris for about ten years now, since my divorce. Tomas has an exhibition at a local gallery not far from here. For my sins, I am his agent.’