Chapter 37 #2
I’d done the Facebook thing as a playground mum and as a local town resident but all it seemed to be was people sniping, either openly or passive aggressively, at others.
It made me feel uncomfortable and often stuck in the middle.
I’d finally deleted it before we went to Goa.
Ironically, just when I had something to actually share, I had no inclination to do so.
And then, when I’d deleted it, nothing happened.
The sky didn’t fall in or a great chasm open beneath me.
So then I deleted Twitter (or X or whatever people were calling it now).
After that went Instagram, Threads and BlueSky.
The latter I’d never once used and still didn’t entirely understand what it was or how it worked.
I cared even less. The amount of time I’d regained was phenomenal and I didn’t miss any of it a jot.
‘Anyway! She’s amazing. She used to be a model.’
‘Ah. Now you say that, the name does ring a distant bell.’
‘Yeah, she was a massive name on the catwalk years and years ago.’ She gave a wave to acknowledge the very dim and distant past of the late nineties.
Presumably in Sash’s eyes, Simone was modelling the latest in whalebone corsets and seen as racy for showing a glimpse of ankle.
‘But she trained to be a chef without letting anyone know and had been working under a pseudonym. A couple of years ago, she opened Quatorze under her own name. It’s been booked solid ever since. ’
‘I suppose celebrity helps.’
‘Of course,’ Tomas spoke now. ‘But it will only go so far. Her food is incredible. People here are as obsessed with celebrity as anywhere but they won’t pay for bad food, no matter whose name is above the door.’
‘And she’ll really speak to me?’ Sash asked him.
‘Of course.’
Her expression, which at first had been stunned excitement, something I recognised from the first time we’d taken her to Disneyland and were confused as to why she’d looked so meh when Winnie the Pooh and Mickey Mouse had waved at her.
And now, like then, the astonishment had slid into a smile and moved through into a full-blown ear-to-ear grin.
‘I don’t know what to say!’
‘Thank you, Tomas?’ I suggested from my seat on the sofa next to him.
‘Thank you, Tomas!’ She jumped up with the apparent intention of hugging him and then stopped, an awareness hitting her of her previous, rather more cool, behaviour towards him. ‘Umm… can I give you a hug?’
Tomas remained silent, but stood from where he’d been perched and opened his arms enough to signal that all was forgotten. His generous nature, both materially and emotionally, had been one of the many attractions both then and now.
‘Thank you so much!’ she said again. ‘You’ve saved my life.’
His eyes met mine over the top of my daughter’s head.
A restaurant reservation wasn’t life-saving and he knew it.
We both did. Just as we knew having not had it wouldn’t have been fatal.
But right now, to my daughter, that was how it felt, and with a welcome thaw in the atmosphere between the two of them, neither I nor Tomas were about to disavow her of that belief.
‘I need to call Benoit and see if he’s free tomorrow evening,’ Sash said as they parted. Tomas remained standing.
‘If I know my godson, I can guarantee he’s free if you tell him where you’re taking him.’
‘He’s been before?’
‘To Quatorze? No.’
Sash looked up from the phone. ‘Really?’
Tomas gave a small shrug before resting his hands in his pockets.
‘But you got the reservation… and so much more, so easily. Don’t you, you know, do that all the time for people?’
‘Non. Not really. Generally, I am happy to wait.’ He paused, gave a brief side to side wobble of his head, then continued. ‘Well. Wait impatiently, just as everyone else has to.’
‘But…’ Sash looked back to me then at him again.
‘I only use my powers for good.’ He winked.
She bit her lip, her smile still peeking through as our gazes met.
‘I did tell you he wasn’t such a terrible monster.’
She widened her eyes as if to shoosh me then made a choice on the phone still, as always, in her hand.
‘Bonsoir, beautiful.’
‘Hi!’ she replied with a brief wave at the screen, her cheeks taking on a faint blush, the smile automatic. Happy memories fluttered through my mind like so many butterflies being released.
‘I’m with Mum and Tomas.’
‘Ah, bon.’
Sash’s clear warning to Benoit not to say anything he wouldn’t want either of us to hear was both subtle yet obvious.
‘Are you OK?’ he asked.
‘Yeah, better now, thanks. Sorry about the meltdown earlier.’
‘Not a problem. I’m glad you called.’
Benoit’s words were casual but caring. Unhurried with no concern as to whether they were overheard by family members. I liked him even more for it.
‘I’m still cross, obviously. Well, more upset than cross, I suppose.’
‘Understandable.’
‘So! Are you free tomorrow night?’
‘For you? Of course,’ he replied, not taking a beat.
‘Fancy coming with me to Quatorze?’
‘The restaurant? Seriously?’
‘Yes!’ Sash bubbled with excitement and laughter. Benoit’s soft, deep tones echoed hers.
‘How?’
‘Your godfather. I met them when I got home and told them what had happened. Next thing I know, we’ve got a table at Quatorze and not only that, guess what?
’ She carried on before he had a chance to.
‘Simone Deschamps only told him that I can interview her if I want! If I want?’ She was practically bouncing now.
‘That’s fantastic, ma chérie. She will love you.’
She blew him a kiss. ‘I just need to get all my fangirling out of the way and not make an idiot out of myself.’
‘You could never.’
‘Oh, believe me, I could, but I need to make sure I don’t.’
‘I’m afraid I have to go,’ Tomas whispered. I stood up, and his hand automatically went to mine. ‘I’m sorry. I have an early-morning call. Time zones.’ He gave the little head wobble he did when things were mildly annoying. I loved that, as much as he had changed, some things had stayed the same.
‘It’s fine. You only planned to walk me home and then got dragged into my family drama.’
He gave my hand the gentlest of squeezes to signify that wasn’t how he saw it, or if he did, he didn’t care.
‘Sash, Tomas has to go.’
She turned to him, her pretty face aglow with happiness and excitement, so different from the hurt that had smothered it when we’d first seen her this evening.
‘I’m sorry to leave, but I hope you have a wonderful evening tomorrow and that it’s useful.’
‘It will be! You have no idea!’ She hugged him again, this time without hesitation, then turned the phone so that Benoit could see us both.
‘Bonsoir, Kitty,’ he said warmly. ‘Pap.’ He winked, so much like his godfather, then held up his forefinger and thumb in the shape of a circle.
‘Glad to hear your old flames are coming in useful.’ The tone was teasing.
Tomas tilted his head to one side, one eyebrow raised just a smidge, and his godson barked out a laugh.
‘Thank you for that,’ Tomas replied. ‘I will deal with you when I see you.’ The words might have formed a threat but there was nothing but warmth in his voice, and love in his eyes for the young man grinning out from the screen.
Sasha was staring at his godfather, agog.
Tomas and I stepped outside the apartment and I closed the door behind me with a soft click.
‘Thank you.’
‘It really is my pleasure. I’m so sorry she was let down by people she thought were friends. It’s the least I could do.’
I leant back against the door. ‘You didn’t have to do anything, but thank you for caring. It’s so you.’ I reached up and laid my hand against his cheek for a moment. He tilted his head into it a little more before I let my hand drop.
‘I was so pleased she seemed to have made some friends. She was too. I think the idea of living in Paris really appealed to her, but she’s also found it more overwhelming than she expected. And perhaps a bit lonely. Although obviously meeting Benoit has helped with the latter.’
Tomas leant his shoulder against the wall and looked down at me. ‘You know he’s… how do you say? Smitten? With Sasha.’
‘He is?’
‘Totally. Quite pathetic, really. You wouldn’t catch me falling for a girl that hard.’
‘Is that so?’
‘Nope.’
‘Not even Simone Deschamps?’ I teased. His face was close now.
‘I wondered when that might come up,’ he replied, his voice soft with that hint of gravel that manifested when he was tired, or turned on. Right now, it seemed he was a little of both. ‘And considering I’m here with you right now and wouldn’t wish to be anywhere else, I think you have your answer.’
I pushed myself away from the wall, grabbed a fistful of hideously expensive cotton shirt and pulled him towards me, and he let me.
The thrill of that control, that allowance, sent a shiver through me.
Tomas felt it and I felt his smile as his lips met mine.
My hands slid up over the defined chest, slipping under his coat and over the bump of toned trapezoid muscle between his neck and square shoulders, all of it reminding me of his strength.
The thought ignited a flame down low in a place that hadn’t even smouldered in a long time, let alone known flames.
My hips pressed into his thigh as he pulled me closer.
I heard Sash laugh but it was way in the distance, barely registering.
Right now, right in this moment, it was just Tomas and me. And it felt incredible.
‘I have to go,’ he whispered in my ear before kissing it and making my knees sink. His arms wrapped tighter. ‘Believe me, I don’t want to.’
‘I can tell,’ I teased.
His laugh was deep and soft and full of promise.
‘I don’t want you to go either.’
‘Tomorrow.’
‘Tomorrow.’
His hands cupped my face, kissed me again softly before sinking back into something far more raw. And then he broke away, shaking his head. ‘If I don’t go now, I never will.’
I didn’t want him to. I knew that now. For all the going slow, not rushing things, right now, I wanted to rush in like the ocean in a storm.
‘Tomorrow,’ he repeated and I nodded, beyond speech now. And then he was gone, hurrying down the twisting wrought-iron stairs with me looking over the banister like a lovesick teenager. Which perhaps I was. Just in a fifty-year-old’s body.