Chapter 20
Chapter
Twenty
Lana
“Lana, I wanted to speak to you,” the coach’s voice called out as I walked into the arena. With the away game tonight, I was just coming in to prepare the last minute things for them to take along.
“Of course, are we going to your office?”
“Your office works,” he teased, gesturing for me to lead the way.
I did as he asked, heading for the kitchen. I quickly set my tote bag down before giving him my full attention.
He cleared his throat and dove right in.
“I spoke to the board. The team collectively sent an email, each expressing how happy they were to have you here. There was also a glowing recommendation from me. I’ve seen the difference at practice.
I don’t have them slacking and lagging behind because they had a long night.
Whatever you’ve been doing has been incredible. ”
“Oh wow, thank you,” I said, completely stunned. Excitement and pride washed through me. This was exactly why I loved my job. Seeing the outcome was incredible. I couldn’t wait to see the guys playing again for myself.
“That means,” he said with a flourish, pulling out a piece of paper. “I am equipped to offer you a full-time position on the team.”
“Really?” I was trying my best to hold onto some dignity, when all I wanted to do was scream in excitement.
He chuckled, seeing right through my feebly attempted self-control.
“I’m glad you like the idea as much as we do.
In fact, I think these numbers could be quite beneficial.
We’ve added a sign-on bonus. The only exception I have is, well…
some of my best players are grounded.” He gave me a look that said he knew exactly why they did what they did.
“I’d like you to stick around here for this weekend’s game.
I would love if you would prepare us snacks that we can take on the bus and have a cooler ready to go, but we’ll do what we usually do for away games for the time being.
Under the circumstances, I would feel more comfortable knowing that you had the pack around you. ”
The pack. I guess we were more obvious than we realized. Any words I was trying to muster died as he slid the proposal across the counter to me.
“Are you serious?”
“Yes,” he said firmly. “They know between your degree, the name that you want to make for yourself, and the differences you’ve made here that you’re worth every penny. You will also have an arena card for any food purchases or materials that you need for your job. We want no out-of-pocket costs.”
My eyes ran over the page. The zeros on it had my head spinning.
It wasn’t that I was desperate for the money, but with this kind of contribution, it put me on more equal footing with the guys, and that level of independence soothed the terrified part of me.
The one that had been burned before and didn’t want to be left with nothing at the end of the day.
I’d already blown up my life once. I wasn’t eager to do it again.
“Where do I sign?”
His face broke out into a grin at my question, and he flipped the page, highlighting a few points for me to see, then tapping where I would put my own signature.
I didn’t hesitate to sign it. The best part was it was a yearly contract, which meant we would renegotiate next year and neither of us were tied together long term.
This also meant I had the full weekend off.
For now, I had work to do.
“Alright,” the coach said, tapping the counter. “I’ll leave you to your magic.”
Now that I was alone, I queued up my playlist. My singing was probably horrendous, but I couldn’t find it in me to care. I belted out the songs as I whipped up a big batch of trail mix and cookies, wrapping them in portions.
I had just popped the last batch of cookies into the oven and started gathering the things I needed for their energy shots and smoothies when someone walked in.
I turned, eyes widening at the sight of my brother standing there.
We’d never had tension between us like this. I fucking hated it.
“This is bullshit,” he said, walking over and pulling me into a tight hug. He held me until the tension drained and I sagged into his embrace. “We don’t fight like this, and I’m not about to start now. We can agree on that, right?”
I held my brother close, breathing in the usual comforting scent. I always thought he smelled like white chocolate macadamia nut cookies, which were one of my favorites.
The same ones I was making, ironically. Maybe I was more affected than I cared to admit.
He released me and snagged one of the fresh ones.
“So, have you talked to your best friends yet?” I questioned, giving him a side-eye.
“No.” He let out a sigh. With it being just us in here, I hoped he would be more willing to let me in and talk this out.
“Con, I need you to know they’re not the same. The others never treated me like this pack. And no matter what, I’m not going to steal them away or leave you behind for them.”
“It’s not even about that,” he admitted. The pain on his face made my chest ache but I waited patiently for him to get the rest of his words out. “I failed you, Lana. I literally handed you over to assholes who should’ve never been given the chance.”
“We’ve been over this,” I said, pointing a carrot his way.
“You’re not in charge of who I date. Sutton, Milo, and Dean were…
are… so self-absorbed. and I should’ve seen it from the start.
It was my fault for falling into their trap.
They just wanted me for my name. They expected me to be their pretty little omega that they flaunted around when it was convenient, nothing more. ”
“They should’ve known better than to try to make you a damn trophy wife,” he snorted. “You’ve been snarky since the day you were born.”
I paused the conversation long enough to run the juicer. The heaviness of his gaze burned into my back, but he waited until I finished and started pouring the individual bottles to speak again.
“How are you not more angry?” he questioned. “I’ve been trying to wrap my head around it and I just… I can’t.”
He wasn’t wrong. Once I’d written them off, it was like I’d given myself permission to not care anymore. It hurt less knowing I’d never put myself in that situation again.
I survived and I knew my worth. End of story.
“I’ve had time to get used to the idea and you haven’t,” I said with a shrug. “Part of me already knew that they weren’t going to show up for me like they should. I’d already given up on them; it was the one final chance and they blew it.”
“Understatement. It was catastrophic. You almost fucking died,” he growled. “It never should have gotten to that point.”
“No, but it did,” I said. “And I think that I’ve come to terms with the fact that it did. They can’t take it back and we all know that.”
“Do you think they’ll realize it before or after the media does? You haven’t exactly been staying inside and hiding away. Someone’s going to recognize you and announce that the hockey princess made her way home. Does it bother you if that’s how they find out?”
I considered his question for a moment. “Not really. I’m kind of ready to be out from under this.
I wanted to find out for me. I needed to see just how little they thought of me.
It’s been nearly two months… they’ve already answered that burning question.
Any pack that gives a shit about their omega would have never gone this long without seeing her. ”
“Damn straight,” he muttered. “I haven’t even found my scent match, and I would never treat my omega like that. It’s disgusting.”
“It is,” I agreed. “I’ll never be with them again. They don’t even deserve my kindness. Maybe one day I’ll forgive them for my own piece of mind, but I won't ever forget. My omega doesn’t trust them. In fact, I’m afraid for any omega who has them in the future.”
“We can agree on that,” he said, grabbing a few of the pans and starting to wash them while I tossed out the trash and moved onto the next thing.
“Now, back to the reason I’m here.” Something in his tone had me turning to listen.
He was nervous. His hand was rubbing the back of his neck in the way that Conrad did when he was unsure. “I’m sorry for being a dick and trying to make decisions for you. I know you’re capable. Seeing you like that nearly broke me, and I let fear get the best of me.”
“Take a second to consider the men that are your friends. Do you think they would truly ever do that to me?”
“No,” his answer was instant. “For one, Cade would beat the shit out of them. For two, after defending Cade like you did, I think he’s got your loyalty for life.”
“Speaking of, what the fuck was that?” I bit out, waving a knife around. He promptly took it and chopped for me in true Conrad fashion.
“Cade’s dad is a grade-A dick. That’s the only way I can describe it. He’s never cared about him or hockey. He wants him to fit in a pretty little mold. Really, he wanted him to take over the company, but because he made a name for himself in hockey, he’s had to adapt.”
We were quiet for another moment or two, before he gave me a serious look again.
“For what it’s worth, you have my blessing. I think that they work well for you, and honestly, you’ve brought life out in them. Lennon has never let anyone get close to him. He holds people at arm’s length. He’s been hurt before, and he let it change him.”
“He told me about it,” I said.
“That in itself is a miracle.”
I bit back a smile. My omega and I loved the fact they were giving me pieces of themselves the same way I gave pieces to them. It felt equal.
“It goes beyond that. Kieran has been an incredible friend, but he’s had this quiet sadness that he never shakes. He embraced it and it became a part of him. Not anymore. I’ve seen him smile and relax for the first time. That’s all you.”
My brother wasn’t the sappy type. Hearing all of this from him was exactly what I needed.
“They’ve given you your confidence back. They brought you back to life.”
“They’re pretty great, huh?” I said as his words sank in. Everything I’d felt but refused to acknowledge came rushing in.
No matter how terrifying it was… I wanted every complicated piece of this pack.
“They are,” he agreed. “We just weren’t pack material and that’s okay. Close friends can simply be just that. Friends.”
“You’ll find a pack someday, and it will all click into place,” I promised.
“Is that how it felt with them?”
It was an easy answer. “Yes. From the moment I met them, there was a connection. Which is ironic because their scents weren’t noteworthy at first. They were pleasant and I enjoyed them, but it wasn’t earth-shattering.
The more time I spent at the house getting to know them and finding myself again, the more it changed. ”
“That was probably your bond dissolving,” he said. “I’m so glad you didn’t get sick from it breaking.”
“I think the fact they felt nothing says all there is to say. It was a slow process, and that’s what saved us. My omega realized that they weren’t right for us and she let them go.”
“Good riddance,” Conrad said. “And I’m holding you to the deal we made. The moment they realize what went down, I’m going to beat the douchebag right out of them. Treating you like this has consequences.”
I rolled my eyes, but let him have this one.
“The moment they realize, they’re yours, brother. Just don’t get arrested,” I said.
“They wouldn’t dare. We have receipts of their neglect,” he said with a wicked smile, stealing a cookie in true brother fashion before walking out of the room.
The only thing I could focus on now was the fact that my brother gave me his blessing. His opinion mattered to me, and the idea of starting a pack while also causing a rift with him had never settled well.
Maybe now I could stop fighting myself and stop fighting this pack.