Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen: Ryder
Ifucked up. Those three words keep echoing in my head as I feel Delaney pull away more and more with every mile closer we get to landing in Botswana.
How could I be so fucking stupid? So damn reckless.
I lost all control and fucked her in the bathroom without protection.
Totally unacceptable. Goddamn disrespectful.
And I’m pissed at myself for being so careless.
I was on the verge of apologizing, starting a conversation we should have had before that kind of intimacy ever became a reality, when she shut the door in my face.
Now I just feel like the world’s biggest jerk.
I really want to talk about what happened before she can stew too long about it, but it’s impossible to have a private conversation with my team surrounding us. I’m almost tempted to pull her back into the bathroom to talk, but I don’t think that’s the best idea.
It’s time we sat down and had a long conversation, anyway.
I need her to see how good we are together.
That it’s so much more than just sex—which obviously is so fucking amazing I can’t stop myself from being a damn caveman around her.
It’s everything about her. How well we work together, understand each other, complement each other’s skills, see each other for who we really are.
Yes, I lost myself in the moment, but it’s only because I literally can’t see myself with anyone but her ever again.
And if I need to grovel, I will. Because I’m not losing this woman. No fucking way. Whatever I have to do to make her see our potential, make her see how much I care about her, I’m going to do it.
“Once this is all over, we need to talk,” I murmur under my breath.
She looks over at me, blue-green eyes carefully blank, and I hate it.
She’s throwing those goddamn walls up again, trying to keep me out.
But I’m going to tear them down. Every last one.
From this point forward, I belong to her, and I need her to know that.
For the first time in my life, I’m all in.
I’m in love.
Christ. I rake a shaky hand through my hair and hope she doesn’t break my heart. That would really fucking suck. All I know is I will never break hers. I’ll always protect her, shield her. Love her fiercely. If only she’ll let me.
The truth is I’ve never felt so vulnerable, and if she rejects me after I pour my heart out, I’m not sure I’ll ever recover.
The next hour of the flight consists of me trying to talk to Delaney, and her avoiding all conversation.
Good times. She turns her back on me completely, and after sneaking peeks at her for another hour—like a fucking creeper—I end up going over and dropping down beside Addie.
If anyone has words of wisdom for me, it’s her.
Her intuitive cobalt eyes regard me knowingly. “You look like you just lost something very important,” she says in a low voice, for my ears only.
“I’m scared I might have,” I admit, watching Delaney thumb through the same magazine she’s been looking at for the past hour. “I don’t know what’s going on.” Frustration fills my voice.
“I think it’s pretty obvious,” she states.
“Really? Then please tell me.”
“Love transforms a person’s world,” she murmurs. “And one day you wake up and realize someone else’s happiness is more important than your own.”
“Is that an Angel-ism?” I ask, referring to one of her mother’s wise sayings.
“Nope. It’s an Addie-ism.” She smirks. “How does your world feel right now, Ryder?”
“Like I’m floating in a snow globe and someone just shook the shit out of it.”
Addie lets out a low snicker. I give her a wry smile then glance over at Delaney again. She’s watching us from beneath her long lashes, but the moment I meet her gaze, she returns her attention to the magazine.
“How did you know you loved Cole?” I ask.
“When I couldn’t picture my life without him,” she answers with zero hesitation.
“But how did you know he loved you back? That it was a leap worth taking?” I press.
“You can’t guarantee someone will love you back. But he did work pretty hard to make me see we had something special. And every time he looked at me, touched me, held me, it reassured everything I felt. Or, in my case, was scared to feel.”
“Like Delaney,” I murmur thoughtfully. “I think she’s scared.”
“Of course, she’s scared, dummy.” She slugs my shoulder.
“She’s spent most of her life alone, hiding who she is from everyone.
Then you come along with your pretty brown eyes and smooth-talking ways, and she opens up.
Vulnerability is uncomfortable. Baring your heart and soul when you’ve kept it hidden and protected for so damn long? That’s downright terrifying.”
“When the hell did you become so wise?” I ask, a little in awe.
“After I fell in love.” She sends me a playful wink. “I suggest you go back over there and sit with your girl, because she’s starting to look a little green with envy.”
“Thanks, Addie.”
“Anytime, lover boy.”
One day you wake up and realize someone else’s happiness is more important than your own.
Yeah, I’m there. I’d do anything to put a smile on my little Brit’s face.
We land on a dirt runway at an airport—and I use the term loosely—that looks like it’s been abandoned.
After exiting the plane, I lower my sunglasses and study the rugged land and far-off horizon.
Shit, we really are in the middle of nowhere.
Yet, somehow, two Jeeps loaded with gear and supplies wait for us, courtesy of The Man.
Once again, I wonder who he is and how he has so many connections.
We’re in the middle of the Kalahari Desert, yet The Man has everything we need already in place.
“Oh, look! My favorite!” Brighton exclaims, lifting a package of cookies out of a cooler in one of the vehicles. “Macarons au chocolat.” She bites into one and lets out a lusty sigh. “Mmm, tastes like home.”
Hmmm, interesting. I look through the rest of the provisions and don’t see any of my favorite foods.
Or anyone else’s. As Brighton happily chews the little French cookie, I can’t help but think it was a special gift just for her.
Makes me wonder if our mysterious benefactor might have a little crush on the gorgeous brunette.
Looking at my friends’ faces, I’m pretty sure they’re thinking the same thing.
I take a minute to get my bearings straight, then dive into operations mode. “The mine is about an hour drive that way,” I announce, glancing up from my map and pointing south.
Hunter looks around, chews her lower lip, and frowns. “Maybe I should stay with the plane.”
“No way,” Knox declares. “You’re staying with me.”
She flips her ponytail, not appearing worried in the least. “I’ve got my gun, phone and comms. I’d rather not leave our ride unattended.”
“And I’d rather you stay right by my side,” he insists. “Our ride can be replaced. You, my Sparrow, cannot.”
I watch them stare each other down for a few seconds. I can tell she’s battling with her feelings, weighing her emotions with her sense of duty. I get it, my friend. Boy, do I get it. Hunter finally gives him a terse nod.
Knox nods back, then he pulls his fiancée in for a long kiss.
I peek a glance at Delaney, but she seems very interested in something on the ground about two inches in front of her feet. Fuck.
Nearby, Addie slings a backpack over her shoulder. “Linc, why don’t you drive the lead Jeep, and Ryder and Delaney can navigate. Knox, Hunter, Brighton and I will follow.”
“Copy that, Boss,” Linc says.
Delaney and I walk over to the first Jeep, and I open the rear passenger door for her.
The car is full of gear, so there’s no room for me to get in next to her.
She climbs in, once again barely looking at me as she mumbles a thank you, and I carefully close the door and get into the front passenger seat.
After buckling my seatbelt, I pull up the GPS.
I have my maps, but I want to make sure all our bases are covered.
The last thing I want to do is get lost.
Even though it’s technically considered a desert, the Kalahari is so much more.
It’s a truly special and exceptional place.
Unlike true deserts, it supports abundant wildlife, features unique red sand dunes, vast savannahs and massive salt pans.
Covering three southern African countries, it’s best known for its extreme temperatures, the iconic black-maned Kalahari lion, and for being the ancient home of the San people. And it’s absolutely massive in size.
Yeah, we don’t want to get lost out here. It could mean certain death.
Since the mine has been abandoned for twenty years or so, I have no idea what to expect.
I just hope locals haven’t snuck in and started illegally mining.
It’s a big concern here because of the poverty in the region, and the danger from slides and collapses isn’t enough to deter efforts when people will do anything to survive.
But from what I know, they mostly focus on the huge, abandoned mines formerly owned by DeBeers.
Ones with clearly marked borders and well-known locations.
My little mine shouldn’t draw much attention comparatively.
It’s probably considered too dangerous and, being abandoned for so long, carries a reputation for a lower chance of actually finding anything.
Locals also believe it’s cursed, and only a handful of people know the original Phantom Orchid was discovered here which works in our favor.
After over an hour traversing the rough ground and spotting a handful of endemic animals, which Delaney oohed and ahhed over, we reach our destination.
A cloud of dust swirls around us as Linc stops the Jeep and we get out.
The sun is still high in the sky and it’s damn hot out, so the first order of business is to set up camp.
Without it, we’re leaving ourselves vulnerable to the elements.
After we take a quick look at the boarded-up entrance to the mine, getting a quick idea of what we’ll need to crack into it, we start unloading.
While Linc and I set up four tents, Knox and Hunter build a large campfire, and Delaney, Addie and Brighton organize the gear and supplies.
It’s important to keep the camp clean and not leave any trash or food laying around.
The last thing we want to do is attract a lion or other dangerous predator.
Because there are only four tents, six of us will double up and one person will get their own tent.
I know Knox and Hunter will be in one. Addie and Brighton are close, so they’ll share another.
That leaves me, Linc and Delaney. And let’s be honest, I’d much rather share with Delaney than squish into a small tent with Linc who’s going to hog all the space.
Plus, Delaney smells so much better, and cuddling up to her warm, soft curves sounds divine.
Way better than getting an elbow in the head or feeling Linc’s hairy leg brush against mine during the middle of the night.
Yeah, I’m bunking with my little English crumpet. She just doesn’t know it yet.
Once everything’s in place, it’s time to do what we came here to do.
The entrance to the mine isn’t much more than a boarded-up shaft, and Linc uses a crowbar to force it open.
Leaning over the pitch-black hole, I look down.
A lone, rickety ladder leads straight down into the bowels of the Earth, and a strange sense of foreboding fills me.
I’m not a superstitious person, but I can’t easily discount my feeling or the prickles rising on the back of my neck. There’s no curse, I remind myself.
Knox whistles under his breath. “That looks like a looong way down.”
“It’s about thirty feet,” I confirm.
Before we left Argentina, I made copies of the map depicting the mine shaft tunnels. I gave everyone one earlier, and I hope to God this doesn’t turn bad. I don’t normally get nervous before a job, but something feels off to me.
“We don’t all need to go down right now,” I say. “There’s no telling what the mine’s condition is, and I’d like to scope it out first.”
“I’m going with you,” Delaney says, and I nod. I could tell her no, but that wouldn’t go over well. And I know she’s as invested in this as I am. If not more.
“I’m not going to argue with that.” Linc sounds a little relieved. The big guy is about to be a father, and I refuse to put him in any danger.
As if she’s thinking the same thing, Addie turns to Linc. “Why don’t you hammer the anchors into the ground? Anyone who goes down wears a harness in case that ladder is rotted.”
We all agree on who’s doing what, then head over to the Jeeps and start pulling out ropes, headlamps and other equipment we’ll need.
I make sure to grab the heavy bag containing tools.
If the rest of the Phantom Orchid is down there, we’re going to need to dig it out with drills, hammers and chisels.
Once we slip our harnesses and headlamps on, I turn to face Delaney. “I don’t mind going down first and scoping things out alone.”
“Forget it. We’re doing this together,” she insists, placing her comms unit in her ear.
I know there’s no arguing with her, but I had to offer. And it’s nice hearing her refer to us as “together.” I check my comms then nod. “Okay. I’ll go down the ladder first and let you know how stable it is and where to watch your step. As soon as I reach the bottom, I’ll let you know.”
“Be careful, Moneybags.” Her ocean eyes clash with mine, and I don’t miss the concern flashing there.
“You, too, Crumpet.” We share a small smile.
My team gathers around, and I get into position as Brighton secures the end of my rope to the anchor Linc hammered into the ground a few minutes earlier.
“You don’t think Laurent will show up again, do you?” Delaney asks, chewing her bottom lip.
Addie laughs. “Are you kidding me? He wouldn’t risk getting his fancy suit dirty. Besides, he waits for us to do all the work then shows up when we least expect him.” She smirks, then sends me a serious look. “Don’t take any unnecessary chances, Diamond Man.”
“Yeah, not like there’s a hospital nearby,” Knox adds.
Nodding, I step onto the ladder’s first rung. Then I start my descent into darkness.