27. JENSEN
27
T he sun is warming my face through the windshield of the car, and I let out a deep, happy sigh. I’ve been driving across the country with this sassy blonde for a while now, like I’m a lost boy, consumed by wanderlust. But really, I’m completely at peace, sitting in this car with my girl next to me.
Yes , my girl .
The world might not agree with me, and hell, she might not even agree with me at this point. But she is my girl in every way possible.
Waking up this morning, feeling her next to me for the third time this week, it gave me the realization I already felt lurking under the surface. I don’t just like this girl. My feelings for her go deeper than I have ever felt before. She pisses me off with her snarky tongue and her snappy comments, but really, I haven’t felt this thrilled in forever, and I know she’s the reason. I love seeing her face in the morning and kissing her goodnight.
I want this.
I want her.
The thought has my mother’s face flashing in front of my eyes in the worst way. She’s going to give me hell. My parents can’t have any change of plans now that my dad is getting more popular every day. They’ve threatened to make my life miserable multiple times, but they don’t see the big picture.
You see, my life is already miserable. It’s already filled with things I don’t give a shit about, or things I don’t want to do, just because my father is a politician. If they want to make life hard on me, and end my reputation with their power, my career, or whatever else they want to hang above my head, I say let them.
I’d rather pack my bags and live in bumfuck nowhere, waking up with Rae in my arms every single day, then play their show pony for another day. I made enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life.
I’m ready to fight.
“You know you have to be on your best behavior?” Rae’s sweet voice snaps me out of my daydream, and I give her a questioning look.
She tilts her head, narrowing her eyes.
“What are you talking about, woman?” I chuckle.
“Meeting my family.”
“Have you forgotten I am a politician’s son? I’m always on my best behavior.” I now laugh.
“You’re an asshole,” she deadpans.
“He really is,” Bodi chimes in.
“See, Bodi agrees.”
I point my thumb to the back of the car. “You gonna listen to that fucker over there?”
Defiant, she nods her head. “Definitely.”
“I’ve been nothing but nice to you! Really nice. ” My gaze darkens, thinking about waking her up with my tongue between her legs, my eyes still heavy with sleep.
Good morning at its finest.
“To me, yeah. I’m not complaining.” She grins as I watch her with amusement. “But to everyone else, you’re your dick-ish self and I kinda want them to like you. Just show them my version of Jensen.”
“What version is that?”
“Sweet, funny, sexy,” she taunts, licking her lips before her face straightens again. “No, scratch that, don’t need Nana to think you’re sexy.”
“Scared I’ll run off with your grandmother?” I give her a faux seductive look.
“Ew.”
“Yeah, seriously, mate. EW.” Bodi pipes up from the back.
“Just give them you,” she continues. “The real you.”
I glance at her, looking at her bright golden eyes showered with kindness. My chest moves up and down as I feel my skin tingling. The world stops, forgetting everything else around me but the girl that’s worming herself deeper into my heart.
“Eyes on the road, hotshot,” Bodi calls out, and I snap my attention back in front of me as I swallow hard to push the emotion away.
“Yeah?” I say as casually as possible. “Who’s that?”
“ A warm, fun, caring person.” The words leave her lips quickly, like they were already on the tip of her tongue.
The heat seems to radiate through my chest, fueling my desire to never let this girl go. My muscles relax, and I roll my shoulders, then bring my chin up with a cocky grin.
“Intimidating?” I joke, partly.
“You can be, if you want to be.”
“But not to you.”
“No, not to me.” She shakes her head.
“Why is that?”
She smirks. “I’m not easily intimidated.”
“Clearly.” I smile.
“Why is it you never give people the real you?”
“This is the—”
“Don’t give me that bullshit,” she interrupts harshly, though eyes still peer at me with an overwhelming kindness. “I’ve been with you for the last seventy-two hours, and I know that brooding NHL playing asshole is not who you are. I already told you that before, and I stick by it.”
I sigh, shrugging. “Maybe.”
A few moments pass, and I stay quiet, thinking about her question.
“You didn’t answer my question, though,” she points out, still waiting for an answer.
I guess it’s just something I’m used to. People treat me differently than they treat my brother. And they don’t treat me the same as they treat my sister either.
In my younger years, I was the maverick, the difficult one. I wasn’t bad at learning, but I wasn’t very good at it either. I didn’t want to play piano, I wanted to climb trees.
As soon as I realized I could never please my parents, I stopped trying, to an extent. I turned from the difficult one, to the feared one. The one who went through life growling and kicking, always trying to push his own way through. It only worked half of the time, but at least they’d rather leave me home when going to certain events because they couldn’t risk me roaming off. Or God forbid if I did something to damage their reputation.
Fine with me. I’d rather stay home and watch TV anyway. It didn’t take long for me to understand that showing that side of me wouldn’t make me happier, but the expectations lowered, which helped a little.
“Because it takes off the pressure if people expect less of you,” I admit with a heavy heart, a slight shame sitting in the back of my mind.
“Baby. I’m sorry.”
I don’t like that this is the first time she calls me that because I hear the pity in her voice, and I don’t want it. I’m not a good person, I know that. I can blame my parents for everything, but I was there. I know the things I did.
“Don’t,” I say, my tone low and reserved. “I’m not some sad little kid. It is what it is.”
She glances at me, biting her lip in that cute way she does. “Okay.”
I turn my head, offering her a comforting smile, not wanting to ruin the mood.
I don’t mind her asking about my childhood, but it does feel weird, since no one ever did. Bodi did, so I told him the gist, but Rae manages to give me looks that make me want to tell her every detail of my life story. She makes me wanna share every step that led me to this. To her.
“But I’ll be on my best behavior, baby.” I grab my snapback from my head, putting it on backwards so I can see her better. “I promise.”
The corner of her mouth lifts, her eyes beaming. “Good.”