Chapter Eleven
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Despite her difficult week, Ottilie had a spring in her step as she headed over to meet Fliss for a walk on the shores of Windermere. In fact, more than a spring – it was a skip. She was due to meet Heath later that day for dinner, and she was hopeful they’d be able to clear the air properly, back to normal; and Fliss had phoned saying Charles was home. Not at his home – of course, they famously lived in separate cottages which supplied endless gossip to the villagers – but staying with Fliss, where she could keep an eye on him. Reading between the lines – as in, gleaning from what Fliss didn’t say rather than what she did – Charles had been blessed with the luckiest of escapes. Perhaps if his wife hadn’t been an incredibly experienced GP and hadn’t spent years sharing her knowledge with him, he might not have recognised his symptoms so quickly and he might not have called for help in the nick of time. Others who lived so far from an ambulance station and who weren’t quite as aware might not have been so fortunate.
But Fliss had sounded cheerful on the phone, far more positive than she had since her ordeal had begun. That alone was enough to lift Ottilie’s spirits. She was so fond of Fliss it filled her with joy to know things were moving in the right direction at last. And it would have been comical a few weeks before to hear Fliss talk of healthy lifestyles and getting out into the fresh air more – even her patients recognised that she never took her own advice where healthy living was concerned – if not for Ottilie recognising how much Charles’s close call must have scared them both. Certainly enough for Fliss to even discuss going out for walks.
That Sunday morning was cold, a frost lingering on the hills and mist wreathing the valley floors, but the sun was doing its best to burn through, giving it a magical sort of light. Ottilie had grown to love days like this since her arrival. She was often out early, up at Hilltop Farm before work, and the view from up there on such days was something else. She’d often have to stop for a moment on the path to admire it, and just as often she’d spare a thought for Josh and wonder what he would have made of it.
Ironically – though it would save them time – Fliss had offered to drive them both to Windermere instead of making the hour or so’s hike there to start their walk. Small steps, she’d said, laughing, when she’d told Ottilie the plan; she couldn’t be expected to turn into Sherpa Tenzing straight off the bat.
What Ottilie hadn’t expected when she arrived at Fliss’s cottage was to see Lavender making her way up the path to the front door.
‘Morning!’ she called, wondering why she hadn’t realised before that Lavender would be invited too. Perhaps what was more surprising was that Lavender had accepted the invitation – she was another resident of Thimblebury who more often than not squandered chances to explore the glorious landscape that surrounded the village. In the time Ottilie had lived there she’d never known Lavender to go walking.
Lavender turned around, hand poised to knock, and smiled. ‘So you’ve been summoned too?’
‘Not summoned, exactly. There was definitely some cajoling involved. But to be fair, I’m always up for an excuse to go for a walk.’
‘I wish I could say the same. I ought to be, but I’m always too bloody busy.’
Lavender had a box of chocolates under her arm, and Ottilie dug into her bag and held up one of her own. ‘Snap.’
‘Great minds think alike, though I can’t help wondering if we ought to have brought something a bit healthier over.’
Ottilie laughed. ‘They’d have binned it if we had. Perhaps they’ll both pace themselves.’
Lavender raised her eyebrows, and Ottilie’s laughter grew.
‘OK, we can’t expect immediate miracles.’
Whether Fliss heard them talking or whether it was pure coincidence, the front door opened and she stepped out.
‘Morning, you two!’ she said briskly. ‘This is odd, isn’t it? Feels like it ought to be a work morning but somewhat surreally we’ve replaced the surgery with my front garden.’
‘Doesn’t it?’ Lavender said. She looked at the door with a vague frown as Fliss pulled it closed behind her to join them on the path.
‘Charles is asleep,’ Fliss said in answer to her obvious confusion. ‘I hope you don’t mind if I don’t invite you in just yet. Perhaps when we’ve had our walk he’ll be awake and more open to visitors.’
‘It’d be nice to see him,’ Ottilie said. ‘But only if he’s up to it.’
‘I’m sure he will be. His recovery is actually going remarkably well. I hadn’t imagined he’d be back on his feet so quickly, but he gets tired easily these days. I’m sure that will remedy itself in time too.’
The drive over to the lake was short but boisterous. Ottilie was pleased to see Fliss in high spirits, although she allowed Lavender to do most of the talking – and a lot of it was focused around what had been happening at the surgery in Fliss’s absence. Ottilie sat in the rear seat and enjoyed their back and forth, only prompted now and again to chip in with some agreement or expansion of something Lavender had said. She was more animated when the conversation turned to the locum GP, Dr Stokes.
‘He’s not you,’ Lavender said emphatically.
‘It might prove confusing if he were,’ Fliss said, laughing, as they crested a hill, rising above the early mist where it was so bright she was forced to pull down the car’s sun visor.
‘But he’s been very good,’ Lavender added.
Ottilie leaned forward. ‘He’s brilliant actually.’
Lavender twisted to look at her. ‘Someone’s a fan.’
‘Not like that,’ Ottilie said, flushing. ‘I’m only saying I’ve seen him working first-hand and he’s wonderful with patients. He’s good at his job – even you can’t argue with that.’
‘I never said he wasn’t. I only meant it’s not the same as it is when Fliss is there. He’s good for a temp.’
‘And he seems like someone with a lot of integrity,’ Ottilie continued. ‘I like him – he’s easy to work with.’
‘Hmmm…’ Fliss was suddenly thoughtful. ‘That’s interesting,’ she said finally, her eyes fixed on the road. ‘Very good to know.’
The sun had finally broken through as they parked up and began their walk. The route Fliss had chosen – starting at Wray Castle and along to Blelham Tarn – was new to Ottilie, and she suspected it was new to Lavender and Fliss too. She’d chosen well, though, because the clear, crisp brightness of the early spring weather only added to the stunning beauty of their surroundings.
Wray Castle was an odd little place, and they took half an hour out of their schedule to take a proper look at it. It was curious and quaint and lovely, and Ottilie wasn’t surprised to hear that it had actually been built by a Victorian rather than someone far earlier, because it looked like a toy castle, exactly like the sort of thing a wealthy Victorian would build. She was surprised and quite excited to learn that it had also hosted a very young Beatrix Potter and must have played a part in her love for the Lakes.
From there they made their way to Blelham Tarn, which was so untypical of the district, with a quieter, gentler beauty, but beautiful nonetheless. The water was calm and blue, and Ottilie could see acres of plant life beneath the surface, not to mention the forests of reeds along the banks. She held her breath as she spotted a kingfisher dive into the water and tried to make out what birds might be making up the cacophony of song, though there were far too many to recognise even one, even if she really knew how to.
‘I feel as if I’ve missed out all these years,’ Fliss said as they stopped to rest halfway around the tarn. ‘How entitled of me to have all this on my doorstep and yet never take the time to come and see it.’
‘You’re busy,’ Ottilie said. ‘We all are. Life gets in the way often.’
‘Far too often…’ Fliss’s gaze was on the distant hills, indigo and emerald and gold and amber in the sun, pensive, as if her thoughts weren’t really on their beauty after all.
A movement caught Ottilie’s eye as something splashed into the water. Another kingfisher? She turned her gaze to the spot, hoping to see it emerge from behind the reeds, but her thoughts weren’t really there either. Fliss was right – life got in the way far too often to enjoy simple pleasures like this. She wished she’d learned that lesson while Josh had been alive because, though they’d been happy, it seemed now that in one way or another they’d always been too busy to make time to enjoy moments like this together, and she made a pact with herself right there and then that she wouldn’t let that happen with Heath.
She was brought back to the moment by the sound of a deep sigh from Fliss.
‘Actually…’ she began slowly, ‘there’s a reason I wanted to see you both today. Apart from enjoying this lovely morning,’ she added. ‘I hadn’t quite decided what I was going to do, but I’ve had plans hatching in my mind for a while now. I was hoping to get your opinions on it, but as our walk has gone on, I’ve realised I don’t need anyone else’s opinion. I think I’d already made up my mind, but I was too scared to say so.’
She looked at Lavender and Ottilie in turn, and her smile was so sad and yet so resigned that Ottilie couldn’t imagine what she could possibly be about to say that was so bad it would make such a smile.
‘I’ve decided…’ Fliss hesitated, and then, as if it hurt to look at them, she turned her attention back to the distant hills. ‘I’ve decided to take early retirement.’
‘What?’ Lavender’s eyes widened.
Fliss turned to her now, something shrewder on her face. ‘Don’t tell me it’s a complete surprise. I’m not getting any younger?—’
‘You’re not old!’ Lavender cut in, and Fliss held back a frown.
‘Almost sixty-three. Not old, but not getting any younger either. Neither is Charles. We both work hard and we don’t have nearly enough time to do the things we’d always said we would. His heart attack was a timely warning that we don’t have all that many years left. I choose to see it as a positive thing, a reminder that it’s time we both put ourselves and each other first.’
‘Just like that?’ Lavender’s voice was thick and there were tears in her eyes. Ottilie might have felt that way too, but she had such empathy for Fliss’s position that although she didn’t want her to go any more than Lavender did, she understood that it was a positive step, one that Fliss and Charles deserved. Hadn’t she herself been thinking that she ought to dedicate more time to Heath? How many times had she cursed that she’d never done it with Josh? Of course Charles’s close call would make Fliss do the same.
‘I understand it might seem sudden,’ Fliss said. ‘But I can assure you it’s not. Just because I haven’t mentioned it, doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking about it. In all honesty, it’s been at the back of my mind for some time, even before Charles’s heart attack, but every time it came to the fore I put it on the back burner and got on with things. Next year , I kept telling myself, think about it again next year . But what if there isn’t a next year? If Charles’s illness has made one thing very clear, it’s that there are no guarantees of a next year.’
She glanced at Ottilie, a glance loaded with understanding. Ottilie gave a tiny nod.
‘Can’t you go part-time?’ Lavender asked.
‘Lavender,’ Ottilie cut in, ‘it sounds to me like Fliss has made up her mind. And we all know that part-time in a job like that is never really part-time.’
Fliss nodded slowly. ‘I’d always be thinking about the surgery even when I wasn’t there. I’d need a partner, and I’d be worried about continuity of care if there was more than one doctor seeing a patient. I’d end up going into work even if it wasn’t my turn.’
‘You’d be bored if you retired now!’ Lavender insisted. ‘I know you – you’d last two minutes before it started to drive you mad!’
Fliss was quiet, her gaze on the hills again. ‘I must admit that had crossed my mind too.’
‘Then why don’t you take on a partner and carry on with reduced hours? We’d make sure you didn’t do more than you were meant to…’ Lavender looked at Ottilie for support. ‘Wouldn’t we?’
Ottilie shrugged. ‘Yes, but ultimately it has to be Fliss’s decision.’ She turned to Fliss. ‘I haven’t known you anywhere near as long as Lavender, but I think I know you well enough to know that you might be tempted to make your decision based on what you think we want, but this time you can’t. You have to think of yourself and Charles and what’s best for you both. Obviously I’m on the same page as Lavender – I’d miss working with you and I would wish you to stay – but I’m not going to say so.’
Fliss gave her a small smile. ‘Thank you. Shall we walk some more? Perhaps a bit more oxygen to the brain will make things seem clearer. I must admit, I hadn’t expected quite such a strong reaction to my announcement. And I know what you’re saying, Ottilie, but it is making me question my decision.’
‘I can see why, but if you think it’s right, then please don’t.’
‘But I wonder if there might be another option. You said the locum is very good and he’s looking for a permanent position.’
‘Yes, but…’
‘I don’t know whether a part-time role would suit him, but I suppose it can’t hurt to ask.’
‘You mean take him on as a partner?’ Ottilie asked as they began to walk the path again.
Fliss smiled. ‘Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. But I wonder whether he might be persuaded to join our team.’
Ottilie turned her gaze to the tarn, catching a diving flash of dazzling blue-green. That elusive kingfisher again? She couldn’t allow herself to be too hopeful, but if Fliss was determined to spend more time with Charles but she wasn’t ready to let go of the surgery just yet, perhaps drafting Simon in was the perfect solution. Whether he’d be on board with the idea was another matter entirely.