Chapter 26 Trust
Trust.
I never thought it would come to this.
My friendship with Elliot was one of the most precious relationships in my life—steady, familiar, and safe.
But in one night, with his hands, his lips, his body, he unraveled months of doubt I had forced onto myself.
Years of insecurities, planted by others and watered by my own fears, crumbled beneath his gentle touch.
I felt secure.
The man I had just given myself to loved me. And he made sure I knew it.
I felt it in the way he held me afterward.
No urgency, no rush to pull away. Just warmth and comfort as his arms wrapped around me like he never planned to let go.
I felt it in the way he kissed me. Like he had all the time in the world to remind me exactly how he felt about me.
I felt it in the way he looked at me, his gaze filled with something heavier than just lust.
I was at ease. My body was relaxed, and my mind was quiet for the first time in forever.
And yet, beneath all that peace, a new kind of ache took root.
Because I wanted more. More of his hands, more of his body, more of the way he said my name like it belonged to him, which it did in more ways than one.
But the more I wanted, the more dangerous this became. Because nothing this good ever lasted. And losing him—losing this—would hurt far worse than any insecurity I ever had.
I woke up to his voice pulling me from that nightmare.
“Ellie, baby, wake up. I gotta go.”
I blinked against the early morning light filtering through my curtains, my body still tangled in the warmth he was providing beneath me. My head turned toward the clock. 7:39 a.m.
“Already?” My voice was thick with sleep.
“I know, it’s early. But I have to tie up some loose ends at work.”
I frowned but climbed off his chest, immediately missing the steady rise and fall of his breathing beneath me.
He sat up and moved with practiced ease, grabbing his clothes from the floor and slipping them on.
I admired the way his muscles flexed and the way his back tensed as he pulled on his shirt.
I drank in each movement like it was something I needed to commit to memory.
“I might be really busy today,” he said as he fastened his sweat's drawstring, “but I’ll try to call when I can, okay?”
“Okay.”
I didn’t even try to mask the disappointment in my voice. He caught it instantly, pausing to shoot me a reassuring smile before leaning down to press a kiss against my lips.
“Don’t pout, I’ll see you tonight,” he reassured. “Walk me out?”
I nodded and followed him downstairs, the cool morning air slipping through the door as I pulled it open.
“Promise you’ll call?” I asked, lingering in the doorway as he turned to face me.
“Of course, I’ll call,” he said, his voice warm with amusement. He tilted his head slightly, eyes roaming over my face with that same intense, all-consuming look that always made my breath hitch. “Thank you for such an amazing night, Peanut. I don’t know how I’m gonna focus on work today.”
I blushed, looking away slightly.
He smirked. “I’m sorry I gotta leave so early but I’ll make it up to you. Have a good day at work. I love you.”
“You too,” I murmured.
His smirk deepened as he leaned against the doorframe, watching me like he knew exactly what he was doing. “Me too… as in, have a good day? Or me too… as in love?”
I opened my mouth to respond and stumbled over the words. His quiet laugh sent warmth curling down my spine. He kissed my cheek, lingering for just a second before pulling away.
Then he climbed into his car and was gone.
I locked the door behind him and padded back upstairs, slipping beneath the covers. But sleep never came.
The bed still smelled like him. The warmth of his body still lingered on the sheets, teasing me, taunting me. I exhaled sharply, fingers trailing between my legs and into my panties, seeking what only he could give me. But it wasn’t the same.
When my alarm went off, I stayed there for a while, staring at the ceiling. Eventually, I forced myself up and went to the kitchen, finding Esther perched at the counter with a steaming cup of coffee.
She looked up, eyes immediately scanning the space behind me. “Where’s El?”
“He left already.”
“Damn. So early?”
“Yup.” I tried not to pout, but I knew I wasn’t fooling anyone.
Her gaze narrowed. “Oh my God. Did you two hook up?”
“No,” I lied too quickly. Because it’s an unwritten rule in female friendships—you never admit when your best friend was right.
Esther took a slow sip of her coffee, smirking over the rim. “Liar. I can feel the heat from over here.”
I rolled my eyes and busied myself with the coffee pot, but my hands were unsteady, betraying me. I could still feel him—on me, in me. My body still buzzed, overstimulated and aching for him. I shifted my weight, pressing my thighs together, but it did nothing to ease the lingering heat.
Esther watched me like a cat that had just cornered a mouse. “You’re glowing, E.”
“Shut up.” I pressed my forehead against the cabinet.
“You are!” She pointed at me with her mug. “You definitely got some—”
“Can you not?” I cut her off, finally pouring my coffee, needing something to do with my hands.
She grinned but let it go, at least for now. “Fine. Act stupid. But I know what I know.”
I sat across from her, blowing on my coffee even though I had no intention of drinking it yet. My mind was still with him, replaying the way he looked at me before he left, the way I love you left his lips like it was the most natural thing in the world. I wasn’t used to it yet.
“You’re thinking about him right now, ain’t cha?”
I shot Esther a glare.
“Mhmm,” she hummed, leaning back.
I groaned, covering my face with my hands. “I hate you.”
I spent the entire morning pretending I wasn’t waiting for his call. Or I wasn’t checking my phone between clients. Or I wasn’t counting the hours since he left my bed. Six.
But by lunch, I couldn’t pretend anymore. The insecurity I thought had dissolved in me had reared its ugly head again. It gnawed at me, twisting my stomach into knots until I felt physically sick. He promised he’d call. He always kept his promises.
Did I scare him off?
Was last night too much?
Was I too much?
I took my break early, slipping into the staff room and shutting the door behind me before dialing his number.
He picked up after two rings. “Hello?”
Just hearing his voice made my chest ache. “Hey, Puddin'. I haven’t heard from you all day.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s been so busy here. I just got out of a meeting.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Oh. Okay.”
“You okay?”
I forced a smile, even though he couldn’t see me. “Yeah, I’m good. I wanted to know if you wanted to get lunch or something.”
“I can’t, Peanut. I gotta go to another meeting soon.”
The disappointment hit me like a gut punch. I bit the inside of my cheek. “Why are you so busy today? The comic is already out.”
“Yeah, but I still gotta market it. Plus, I got other projects going on.”
Excuses.
“Yeah. I’ll still see you tonight, though. Right? Maybe we can grab dinner at Tony’s?”
There was a pause. Too long. Was he thinking of more excuses?
“I don’t know if we can. You might be asleep by the time I get home, baby. I’m so sorry.”
Red. All I saw was red.
My grip on the phone tightened. My heartbeat pounded in my ears. “Are you avoiding me, Elliot?”
“What?” He sounded caught off guard.
“Are you avoiding me?”
“No, Peanut, why would you think that?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because you left my place before sunrise, you haven’t called, and now you’re too busy to see me today?”
“Ellie, I told you that—”
“Is it because we slept together?”
“Huh? Elliot that has nothing to do—”
“So that’s it? You got what you fucking wanted, and now you’re done with me? Is that how you wanna do it? Then fine!”
I hung up before he could respond.
My hands shook. My breath came fast and sharp. The second I set my phone down, the dam broke. Tears spilled hot down my cheeks.
I think I’m going crazy. I have to be. Why else would I get so emotional like that?
Elliot wasn’t like that.
But last night had left me feeling so raw.
I had given him a part of me I’d locked away for years.
I hadn’t even pleasured myself in over a year, let alone let someone else touch me.
I had spent so long in self-inflicted celibacy, convincing myself I didn’t need intimacy, that when he came in and shattered that illusion in one night, I was unraveling.
Apparently, the cons of self-inflicted celibacy was freaking out on the man who knocked your screws loose.
After a very shameful pity party—complete with wiping my tears on the freshly washed hair towels—I forced myself upstairs and back to work.
I moved through my appointments in a daze, doing what I had to do with minimal conversation. My hands worked on autopilot, but my mind was somewhere else. Half of me wanted to call him, and apologize for the way I snapped, but the other half convinced me he was probably pissed.
No calls. No texts. Nothing. That wasn’t like him.
“Ouch!”
My client flinched as the needle nicked her scalp while I sewed in a track.
Shit.
I blinked, snapping back to the present. I needed to be focused on EL’evations, not the man who had completely wrecked me last night.
“I’m sorry, girl. I spaced out.”
“You need a minute?”
I shook my head, forcing a smile before placing the needle between my teeth as I tightened the thread. “No, I’m good. Almost done.”
“Elliiiieee!”
Johanna’s voice rang across the salon. This girl was gonna be the next person to receive an Elliot Sawyer-style cussing out.
“Johanna! Please! No yelling across the salon!”
She stood in the doorway that led to the reception area, giving me a sheepish smile. “Sorry. But, uh… El’s here to see you.”
I paused. My stomach flipped, and I nearly swallowed the damn needle between my lips.
Elliot’s here?
I forced a neutral expression. “Tell him I’m busy.”