Chapter 30 Restore #2
“She got married. Her husband can’t handle it?”
“I guess not.”
He scoffed. “Fuck, Ellie. You almost married that deadbeat.”
Huh. He was right. If things hadn’t unfolded the way they did, I’d be exactly where Ryan was. The thought made me chuckled under my breath, then it built, rising into full-blown laughter.
“That… was almost… my life!” I said between gasps. “Pregnant by an asshole while my mother tries to sell my dead father’s house for money.”
“El…”
“And what’s worse is he probably still would be fucking my sister!”
“Ellie, baby, you’re turning red. Breathe.”
I laughed and laughed until the tears came. Not sad tears, just the kind that came when everything stopped making sense and all you had left was the absurdity of it.
“What a joke,” I muttered through a sigh. “All of it.”
“You done?” he asked.
I nodded, breathless.
“Think they’ll take me to court over the house?” I asked after a long stretch of quiet.
Elliot glanced over at me. “They might. Know any good lawyers?”
I exhaled through my nose. “I did a law student’s hair once.”
He snorted, the corner of his mouth lifting. “I don’t think that counts, baby.”
“Damn.”
“Just relax.” He shifted, turning to face me more fully. “We’ll figure it out if the time comes.”
I stared up at the ceiling, its familiar cracks no longer comforting. “Am I petty for not wanting to give them the house?”
“You’re honoring what your father wanted,” he said softly.
“I know. But deep down…” My throat tightened. “I’m doing it for selfish reasons. I know I shouldn’t. I know I should be healed. I know I should’ve grown. But the bitter part of me is louder. It wants revenge. It wants them to suffer. And I don’t know how to make it stop.”
I paused, my voice cracking.
“I don’t want it to stop. But I don’t want you to think less of me for feeling that way.”
Elliot didn’t rush to speak. He reached for me, cupping my cheek with his calloused hand. His thumb brushed just under my eye.
“Ellie,” he murmured, voice low and sure, “Of course, part of you wants revenge. Of course, it hurts. You’re human.
You’re grieving. You won’t heal today. Or tomorrow.
Fuck, you may not even be completely healed by next year.
But you’re allowed to be upset. You’re allowed to fuck up.
It’s part of the messy process. You’re not bitter because you feel this way.
You’re honest. I don’t need you to be over it.
This—” he gestured gently between us “—this is enough. I’d never think less of you for expressing how you feel.
I just need you to be real with me. And you always are.
The fact that you can see your emotions for what they are shows you’re in a much better place than you were before. ”
His fingers skimmed back through my hair.
“I’m proud of you.”
My chest cracked open a little at those words. I closed my eyes and breathed him in. His arms wrapped around me. They felt more like home than Daddy’s house ever had.
“I’m glad someone is,” I whispered.
“Oh, baby,” he said softly, his lips grazing my temple, “you’re allowed to fall apart with me. I’ll always pick up the pieces.”
“I don’t know how I would’ve survived this without you.”
“Thankfully,” he whispered, “you’ll never have to find out.”
I leaned into him, my fingers resting against the beat of his heart. “I’m more thankful you belong to me.”
He paused, then said, “It just occurred to me… I never actually asked you to be mine.”
I lifted my head, eyes narrowing playfully. “What happened to ‘you are undeniably my other half, Elliot’?”
“It’s true,” he said, grinning. “But it’s different. The respectable thing to do is ask.”
I laid my head back down on his chest. “So ask.”
“Not like this.”
“Then when?”
“Soon,” he said. “Very soon. I won’t keep you waiting.”
The day finally caught up to me, its heaviness wrapping around my limbs. I yawned, the last of my tension softening under his touch.
“I’ll hold you to it,” I mumbled, already half-asleep.
His lips brushed my hair. “Get some rest, beautiful.”
?
I didn’t know when I’d fallen asleep, but I woke to the low sound of El’s voice beside me.
“…And dear God, I ask that you protect the woman You’ve gifted me.
Keep her safe when I can’t, and bless her when she’s broken.
I pray You give me the strength to fix what’s hurting her, so that I can be the man she deserves.
Please protect our peace, and safeguard our mental health as we navigate through this difficult time.
I ask that You bless our union and our future. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Then he leaned down and kissed the top of my head.
“I love you so much, baby,” he whispered.
“I love you too,” I murmured, still half-asleep.
He stiffened a little at that, then exhaled softly.
“I didn’t know you were awake,” Elliot said softly.
I turned my head toward him, catching the outline of his face in the dim light. “I didn’t know you prayed for me.”
He exhaled, tenderness flickering across his features. “I always pray for you, baby. I pray for us… because I need us to work.”
My chest ached in that fragile way it always did when he spoke like this. I reached for his hand, threading our fingers together and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. “We’re going to be fine. Okay?”
“Okay, baby,” he murmured.
For a moment, the silence between us was easy again. But then he spoke, quieter this time.
“Ellie?”
“Yeah?”
I felt him hesitate before he started. “When you were talking to your sister today… you asked if your ex hurt her.”
I tensed.
“The way you said it…” he continued carefully. “Did he hurt you?”
I swallowed hard. My throat burned. It was such a loaded question, one I wasn’t ready to unpack tonight.
“No,” I lied. “He was rough a few times. But he never hurt me.”
El went quiet.
“Are you sure?” he pushed.
I squeezed my eyes shut. “El… just—not tonight.”
Another beat of silence. Another moment where his breathing slowed so I could catch my own.
“Okay,” he said finally. I felt his thumb brush over the back of my hand as he added, “Get some rest. I got us on the first flight back home. We’re getting out of this messy bullshit.”
“Okay.”
I felt the steady rhythm of his breathing shift deeper, and slower. He’d fallen asleep.
I closed my eyes and tried to fall back asleep myself, but my mind wouldn’t quiet. I reached for my phone and checked his blood sugar levels one more time, just to be sure. When everything looked okay, I curled up next to him again, pressing my forehead to his shoulder.
And this time, I whispered my own prayer.