Chapter 32
Serenity
“This all seems so unreal, all you guys… having such strong feelings for me in one way or another.” I tinkled the now empty crystal tumbler on the glass coffee table nearby. “Sounds so arrogant, even saying it out loud.” My body was warm from the liquor, and the tremble in my hands had calmed down.
Four pairs of eyes followed me as I moved away from Seb’s makeshift sickbed and onto the central couch.
I met Hunter’s intense gaze first, knowing I owed him the first explanation, and patted the cushion beside me.
His bulk creaked the springs as he sat close.
I brought his hand to my lips, and those soul-searching eyes of his softened around the edges. “Make no mistake. I care about you so much. More than I ever wanted to let myself admit… because I don’t know how permanent any of this can be.”
My declaration of affection had cracked half a smile across his square jaw, but by the end, his face focused downward. “Because of how you feel about New Nebraska… or because you don’t think we can last?”
I cupped his scruffy cheek. “It’s entirely about my past. This city. If anything could ever make me reconsider, trust me, it would be you.” I stroked my hand along his jaw. “Are we clear on that?”
He rested his heavy palm on my hand, managing a smile. “Yes, Little Dancer. But why do I feel like there’s still a ‘but’ coming?”
I drew a shaky inhale loaded with the scents of balsamic and lemon, coming from Bryce’s lovingly prepared feast, now growing cold as I bumbled my way through this awkwardness.
I had to explain to four caring, gorgeous, amazing men—at least two of whom could barely stand each other—how I felt strongly drawn to all of them.
And that, deep down, I wanted them all.
“You’re all special to me, in your own ways.” I kissed Hunter’s hand again, pressing my lips against his warm skin. “Hunter, I shudder to think where I’d be without your courage and compassion. I know I can talk to you about anything, and you’ve always been so encouraging.”
“I’d do anything for you.” He moved his mouth toward mine, and I captured it with a little gasp. He deepened the kiss briefly—a message just for me.
It took all my willpower to pull back. I had to get these feelings out now, or I never would. “You’ll always have a place deep in my heart.”
Rising, I returned to Seb, who’d managed to sit up and was taking swigs of his Bloodweiser. He looked a bit steadier, until I sat beside him and felt his thigh tremble where mine bumped it.
“And Seb, you’ve become special to me too.
I had an incredible time with you today, and I’ve seen again and again how wonderful you are.
You’ve upended all my instincts to doubt that a vamp could be good.
You’re altruistic and gentle, and despite how rude I was to you when we first met, you’ve been so understanding and welcoming. ”
Seb smiled, faint pink filling his cheeks, as if my attentions had injected nourishment into his starving body.
I didn’t know how I’d started falling for anyone with vamp blood, but I had.
Hard. Everything else about him, outside of those fangs, reached out to the girl I’d been before the den.
The girl who’d wanted someone to laugh away lazy days with, talking about art and our wildest dreams.
I combed fingers through his dark waves and kissed his forehead. “I want to make things right. You can’t go on like this. We’ll figure out the blood issue tonight, somehow, and have you feeling like new, I promise.”
I turned my attention to Dagger, who still waited in the middle of the room in his tight black boxer briefs and T-shirt. Despite his legs being swathed in bandages—he looked as if he were posing for a photoshoot. “But let me guess. I’m your favorite, right, Cowgirl?”
Hunter huffed and I could tell he was having a hard time not glaring at his twin.
I should have told Dagger to go fuck himself.
I should have. Instead, I wanted to kiss that cocky smile off him all day long.
I walked over and stroked his jaguar-tattooed arm with my fingertips.
That drink must have been stronger than I thought because the jaguar’s inked yellow eyes seemed animated, burning with life, and locked solidly on me.
“I’ll be honest.” I rubbed his dark, tattooed knuckles. “Despite all the bullshitting and posing you do, it’s hard to be angry with someone who saved my life.”
“After he endangered it in the first place,” Hunter grumbled. The promise he’d made me had gone out the window, but considering the situation, I forgave him.
Dagger scoffed, waving his brother’s words away like flies. “Shut up. She’s about to declare me her mate.”
No, I wasn’t, but part of me wished I could.
Hunter returned the attitude. “The fuck she is. She’s got better taste than self-absorbed, swaggering pricks.” He hammered the air with his index finger. “You couldn’t even take out two scrawny vampire fucks.” He turned to Seb. “No offense.”
Seb toasted with blood-beer. “None taken. Everyone’s feeling emotional, I understand.”
I backhanded Dagger on his bowling-ball shoulder.
“You see how your behavior upsets your brother?” I spread my palms wide, pointing at all the other guys.
“You could learn a lot from these guys. In fact!” I rounded on him, arms crossed.
“This whole mate thing… it means you want to make me happy, right?”
“More than anything.” Dagger nodded, all playfulness gone from his expression now “And not just because of the mate bond. I meet a lot of survivors in my line of work, but you embody that word like nobody I’ve ever known.
You’re the bravest, sweetest creature I’ve ever met, and if I can give you even a fraction of the happiness you deserve, I’ll crawl across broken glass to do it. ”
“If you truly feel that way, just try being a bit nicer for a change. Okay? The bad boy swaggering all the time… it’s a lot to handle.”
Okay, I kind of liked it. Only in moderation though. “It’s not a free pass for being rude,” I added.
“I understand. I’ll try, for you.” He growled the last two words, sending flutters through my stomach.
“Thank you, Dagger. I understand your job doesn’t allow for kind words all the time. Just be respectful and polite to the other guys here, and then, well, we’ll see…”
“We’ll see what?” He toyed with a strand of my hair.
Tense glances hung on my face, waiting for an answer.
“We’ll just see.” I beckoned for him to stoop. Lips brushing his ear, I whispered, “Be nice, so I can be nice to you…”
“Fuck,” he grunted, his voice low. “I’ll be so nice…”
I looked down to see Dagger’s dick had started straining against his dark boxers.
I was reminded again that he and Hunter were twins in every way under their clothes, and I caught my tongue tracing along my upper lip.
I composed myself and left one temptation behind for another as I made my way to Bryce, who had moved over to perch on a stool at the kitchen counter while calling Gerald to cancel the useless blood bag order.
He slid off the barstool when I got close, “And then there’s the man who took a chance on me and who keeps spoiling me in every way.”
I opened up my arms and he practically fell into them. We held each other tight, his crisply pressed shirt soft against my chest and arms. I soaked in his citrus scent then pulled back slightly to peel off his soft calfskin gloves.
Someone behind us sucked in a breath when I placed Bryce’s hands on my cheeks. It must’ve been Seb. He murmured, “Incredible.”
“Guys,” I said around a small grin, “I don’t have the answers, but I know that something between me and Bryce makes me the only known person in New Nebraska who can touch him.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and sank into his embrace.
“And I love that touch. I love so much about you…” he murmured into my hair as he held me close.
I squeezed him back, then pulled away to face the other guys.
“And I love his touch too. And I sort of made an internal pact that I’d quit depriving myself of things I want out of fear.
That I’d quit letting what happened at that feeding den control me.
” I took a deep breath. “Like all of you, Bryce has become very important to me. So, I don’t know what to do, because honestly, I want all of you to be a part of my life…
romantically.” My cheeks and forehead surged with heat.
“But I don’t know if I can… you know, with four different guys. ”
“The steps you take with anyone here or when you take them is entirely your decision,” Bryce said, “and I’ll respect it, no matter what you decide.”
God, he was such an amazing man.
He kissed my cheek and his warm lips surged spicy tingles across my skin.
“I’d like to say that, obviously, Serenity’s incredibly important to me too, as I’ve never known anything but pain from human touch, all my life, and destruction from my powers.
But now, thanks to the most spectacular woman I’ve ever met, I’m getting to know another side to life and to my abilities, like they can help people too. ”
“I owe you and your new ability with that blue anti-fire my life,” Dagger said somberly.
“I’m glad I was able to do it. But the blue anti-fire was certainly a newly acquired ability. Also”—his focus moved to Hunter—“the other night, you shifted for the first time in forever. And not only that, but your jaguar seemed to be considerably larger, yes?”
Hunter nodded. “I felt way bigger. Not only that though, my speed, my stamina when I was swimming, my general capabilities felt… enhanced. I guess, now that I’m thinking about, I’ve felt a bit stronger in human form, too. Why? What are you saying?”