Chapter 46
Hunter
Amid the thrum of the club’s music and the cheers for the ladies on stage, my sensitive ears picked up cork pops, chimes of crystal, the scrap of stools pushing back from the packed bar.
There wasn’t a vacant table in the place.
Vance had taken his manager promotion and grabbed it by both balls. Good for him. I admired the initiative. He was giving his best each and every night.
Shame I couldn’t say the same for myself.
Sitting hunched in the bar area’s least chaotic corner, I sucked at cold suds, shook well-wishing hands, and feigned smiles.
I couldn’t keep my mind from mulling over the troubled side-eyes Serenity had given me all morning.
Despite the dramas and ongoing danger, I knew beyond doubt that being with my mate, even sharing her, was the best chance I had at finally fixing my wounded heart, having a family, and salvaging some happiness from this life.
And I was fucking it all up.
I didn’t want to be. Sometimes my instincts, my raging blood, led me around like a chained circus animal, even when I knew damn well to do the opposite.
I’d felt such entrenched resentment toward my twin for so long, it’d become the new normal, overtaking and obscuring what had happened all those years ago.
I wasn’t even sure if my contempt for him was deserved anymore.
Memories and reason blurred over time, but the emotions connected to them stayed strong as ever.
The idea that he’d made love to her before me—even though I was the one that had so many other firsts with her—prodded old wounds, splitting them open again. I’d agreed that us all being together was for the best, and she was free to choose what to do and who with, whenever she wanted.
But my heart was playing catch up with logic.
That was the nature of the animal within.
It wanted to take and claw. Mark its territory.
But I hadn’t given up trying to better myself with civilized thought and logic.
Whether my primitive side was free now or not.
I had a great book in my office I was gonna read slowly and carefully, ten times over if I had to, that would clear my—
A growl echoed through my skull. Primitive? I think you mean superior.
I clenched my beer mug. I don’t need your bullshit right now. Go to sleep, and I’ll feed you a steak soon.
You think I’m a stupid animal. But you’re the mouse sulking over a beer while our mate goes unfilled.
You mean unfulfilled.
I mean what I mean. You’re not so evolved as you think. If anything, you went in reverse and became prey instead of predator.
See, that’s your problem. I’m not hunting Serenity. I’m trying to share my life with her. Life isn’t all cocks and claws, smart ass.
I’m not saying hunt her. She’s your huntress. She makes us stronger. And you keep running away from her to mope. I want to keep growing. I feel good. He said the last word in a low, savage purr that rumbled through me.
What are you saying?
I’m saying you’re not the only one popping out new muscles. Maybe I should force a shift right now? They’re cheering for those women in sparkly costumes, but the screams for me would make headlines.
You do that, and when the shift eventually wears off, I’m gonna put every ounce of my energy into caging you in forever, and I’m going vegetarian for life—no, vegan. Don’t test me.
Vegan? Fuck off! You’re bluffing.
Am I…
Vance strode up beside me, beaming in his sharp black suit and subtly patterned black jaguar tie. He was on the same side of the bar as me, for a change. “Boss, it’s great to see you. How’re things?”
I swept my palm across the bustling club as the music thumped its sinful beat and the waitresses ferried full trays of liquor and champagne bottles back and forth to the booths and tables. “Things are booming in here. Well done, Vance. I don’t know what you’ve been doing but keep it up.”
“Thanks, boss, I—”
“And no more of this boss stuff. As far as everyone in the club should be concerned, you’re the day-to-day boss now. Just call me Hunter, please.”
He smiled broadly, showing fangs I wasn’t in the mood for seeing.
He was a good kid though, and more like a friend now, so the sight didn’t put my back up.
“Thanks, bo—uh, Hunter. You like the tie? It’s not real jaguar fur, obviously, but I thought in honor of the jaguar spirit, especially with your birthday coming up next Friday—”
“How’d you know my birthday?”
His pale forehead pinched into a frown. “It’s uh, on most of the license paperwork. It’s due for renewal next month. I thought that’s why you were here? You know, to sign stuff for the renewal application?”
I’d come here to sulk, sip beer, and read words of wisdom. “Oh yeah, I did. Just things on my mind, distracting me. Thanks for the reminder.”
Yeah, great. The birthday I never looked forward to.
It was Dagger’s too, of course, and was also forever entangled with the grief of our parents’ death.
My twin was brash and rowdy as an adult, but in his teens he’d been borderline feral.
We all had struggled to keep control of the little shit, which had strongly contributed to me not having a mom and dad now, slicing a wound between me and my brother so deep, I didn’t know if it’d ever fully heal.
With that date on the horizon, it’d be even more tense between us.
Pfft! You’re handing over our empire to this little vamp punk? He thinks he can put on a K-mart tie and be a jaguar?
“Would you shut the fuck up!” I blurted, making Vance take a step back, eyes bulging. “No, not you Vance. Sorry. Just forget I said that.”
He nodded with both eyebrows raised high. “Uh, o-of course. So, you going somewhere nice for your birthday? How about the Glasshouse? I worked there for a couple of years as a kitchen hand. That place is tight. The view across the city, and the night sky? Forget about it.”
“I’ve heard of it. Never been much for fine dining…” But if Serenity’d like something different, that might be an idea. “It’s the one on top of the Tolstoy Building, right?”
Vance’s eyes crinkled with a sly smile as he eased against the bar. “Yep. Walls, ceiling, all glass, clear as crystal. They keep the lights low so you can see a bunch of stars. Most romantic restaurant in the whole state, if you’re bringing a date…”
Romantic? To eat tiny plates of food behind glass. Don’t listen to this thumb sucker. If our mate wants stars, we’ll take her out to a pretty field and fuck her under them.
It’s freezing outside.
We’ll keep her plenty warm.
Shut up.
I breathed deeply, ignoring my jaguar’s arrogance and forcing a smile at Vance. “You know, that’s a really good suggestion. I might just do that.” I leaned forward and clasped his shoulder warmly. “You’re a good friend, and you’re doing a great job here. Well done.”
He shrugged. “Thanks. I just took what was already great about the club and tweaked a few things. The girls are more popular than ever.” He jumped his eyebrows. “I had a damn good time sourcing the new talent. Thanks again.”
Course he did, my jaguar interjected with a scoff-like chuff. Picked out bloodsuckers like him.
I ignored him, but I knew he felt my jolt of surprise.
Sure enough, one of the three new recruits was on stage in a goth pinup getup, fangs gleaming in flashing blue lights.
Well… could I really begrudge the guy a personal preference?
And the crowd clearly had no objections.
Dollar bills were fluttering around her like confetti.
Still… I leaned back and skewered Vance with a serious, appraising look. “So long as you’re treating them all with the same respect I do, we’ll be good.”
“Don’t worry, I learned about respect from the best. Oh, and the license paperwork’s all on your desk, by the way.”
“All right, I’ll take care of that, then I’ll be reading. Only disturb me if it’s an emergency.”
Vance nodded, wished me a happy birthday for next week, and began schmoozing a trail around the club, shaking hands, comping cocktails and cigars. I’d been unsure about promoting him at first, but he’d found the courage to rise to the challenge and then some.
Maybe it was time for me to do likewise with Dagger. I’d go up, read my book cover to cover, meditate, and see if I was brave enough to take the plunge. I chugged the dregs of my beer and—
You must feel out of place, among all those books.
My jaw clenched. Fuck are you babbling about now?
They’ve got spines. Let me talk to our brother. I’ll square it all with his animal, even if we have to sign the treaty with a few scars each.
Hell no. And also, fuck you. This calls for cool, collected, wisdom. Dagger and I have fought enough. We’re not going to bleed forgiveness out of each other.
Pfft! How has that helped you so far, hmm? If you could help yourself, you wouldn’t need a book in the first place, would you?
Fuck off. I shot out of my booth, using every ounce of restraint not to slam my hands on the table.
Snappy come back. You must read a lot.
Just what the fuck do you really want from me, smartass? I asked him as I cut toward my office. Some real advice, please. Not your usual alpha bullshit.
You know damn well. It’s why you locked me away. But at this point, I don’t care what you do, so long as you fucking pick something. Act! Quit with the self-pity. You’ve been boring me with it forever.
I jerked to a stop in the middle of the back hall, feet from my door.
That’s… actually good advice. We could choose our attitudes.
But mine wasn’t much of a choice anymore, was it?
My jaguar and my mate, my two other halves, both wanted reconciliation, and I was denying them both for my own stupid pride. I choose… to forgive him.
His happiness trilled through my psyche like birdsong, but he spoke in his usual gruff growl.
Good. Do that. Get over the past and focus on the future with our mate.
Now get your sorry ass back to the loft and let her know the depth of our love.
And make sure you eat at least two giant steaks at our birthday party too.
Thanks, I will. And now I’ve taken your advice, can you do me a favor in return?
What?
Can you please shut the fuck up!