10. Dr. Beckett
Dr. Beckett
Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.
I can’t believe I did that. My face burns, my skin itches, my heart beats too fast, and my blood roars in my ears.
I’ll blame it on the fact that Brooke and June showed up unexpectedly at the E.R. tonight and that I had to drive them home. It unlocked something I buried years ago, when Addie walked out of my life and left me hanging in the balance.
Women surprising me is not a good thing.
I don’t like it. I can’t really blame Brooke for coming to the E.R.
with June either, so my hands are tied. She’s not after me in the way many women are when they find out I’m a doctor.
She’s also not not interested, if the looks she’s given me when she thought I didn’t notice mean anything.
And, finding out that she’s single, that the man who didn’t kiss her in the driveway wasn’t her loser boyfriend, but her twin brother , I’m … well, yeah. I’m just flummoxed.
I run my fingers through my short hair, wishing for coffee and hours of sleep before I have to head back to the hospital.
I kick off my shoes and flop onto my bed. I don’t even bother closing the shades. I’m exhausted, and thinking about Addie fries my nerves in ways that nothing else can.
Hours later, I’m jerked away when my phone buzzes. It’s a text from Logan.
Logan
I think you need to come to Billy’s.
I grimace. I have no interest in going to the local dive bar and watering hole, even if it is our regular routine. I can’t drink before work anyway.
Beckett
I have to work tonight.
Logan
Not a suggestion. You need to come here.
Beckett
I just got up, it was a long night.
Logan
Billy’s. Just stop by for a few. Trust me.
Trusting Logan is probably the dumbest thing I’ll ever do, but we’ve been friends since childhood, and he was the one who helped the most after Addie.
He called vendors and sweet-talked them into giving me a discount on goods we didn’t use.
He made the announcement at the church, and he was the one who fielded all the questions from family and friends on both sides of the aisle about what went wrong while I stood there, too shell-shocked to open my mouth.
It’s four, which is just enough time to stop by, see Logan and whatever tourist he’s picked up this time, grab a bite to eat, and then head to work.
I groan as I stand and stretch out my sore muscles.
A quick bathroom trip and a tiny bit of hair gel later, I’ve smoothed down the bedhead and look decently presentable.
I throw on black joggers and a dark gray henley under a red plaid flannel. I thrust my badges and ID into my pocket before leaving for Billy’s.
Billy’s is made of old logs. It’s ancient, one of those dive bars that has seen better days and also not seen enough.
No one would ever voice an idea to change anything about it, but everyone thinks it would be good to update.
All the same, if you were foolhardy enough to voice an idea for improvement, you’d be chased out of town.
At the very least, the food’s good, even if it’s decidedly unhealthy.
I push through the door and enter into the hazy atmosphere. The lighting is so dim that it always takes a moment for my eyes to adjust.
“Beck! Hey, man, over here!” Logan yells, and Ben lifts a cheeseburger in my direction.
I walk across the room, peeling my shoes off the sticky floor with heavy steps. Logan’s latest tourist is sitting on his lap and feeding him fries. Ben looks a little disgusted, but it’s par for the course with Logan. He collects girlfriends the way some people collect bottle caps.
“Hey,” I say as I sit in one of the empty seats at the table. “Why did I need to come down here?”
Just then, a waitress leans over. “What can I get for you? Something to drink?”
I turn to look at her. She’s pretty, but my heart doesn’t stutter. She’s wearing a V-neck, and I keep my eyes trained on her face, even though I know she’s trying to show off her cleavage. She’s also wearing very short and tight black shorts.
“Water, please,” I say and attempt a smile. “And a cheeseburger.”
“Ok, but we have three drafts from local breweries on tap tonight—”
I know it’s rude, but I cut her off. “Just water. That’s all.”
She frowns and walks away.
“You have a real touch with the ladies, you know that, right?” Ben elbows me.
I roll my eyes. “Why did you need me down here?”
Logan and Ben meet each other’s eyes for a moment before looking away. Ben gives it away when he stares after the waitress.
“Wait.” I blink. “You told me to come down here because of her ?” I hiss the question because I’m not the rudest man in the world and I don’t want her to overhear, even though she’s nowhere to be seen right now in the crowded bar.
Logan’s girlfriend pops up off his lap. “I have to go to the bathroom,” she announces before she giggles and pulls Logan in for a lengthy kiss.
Ben makes a retching sound, and I stare at the table, trying to block them out. When she finally scampers off, I look up.
“You two are the worst best friends in the entire world.”
“Naw. Don’t say that,” Ben says as he crams a mouthful of fries.
“Hey.” Logan flicks a fry at Ben. “It was your idea.”
Ben sighs before he presses his palms down on the table. “Listen, man. I just… You never want to meet anyone. And we worry about you. You don’t have fun unless we tell you to come with us, and you don’t have any of your … personality anymore.”
I bristle.
“C’mon, Beck,” Logan interjects. “You know it’s true. It’s been years since Addie, and we want you to come back. We miss the Beck from before.”
I stiffen as the waitress puts my burger in front of me.
“Thank you,” I growl.
The waitress glares at me before walking away.
“Some things cannot be changed. And some things cannot go back to the way they were before.”
“Beck.” Ben frowns. “You need to figure something out because … Addie’s coming home.”
Ben would know. He’s Addie’s older brother.
I don’t say a word, just calmly take a bite of my burger, chew, and swallow.
Reach into my pocket and extract my wallet.
Fish out a twenty and throw it on the table.
Shove my chair out and walk with tingling nerves and all the calmness I can muster back to Billy’s door. Inside, my body is combusting.
The aggression has to go somewhere, so I yank the handle toward me and stumble when someone collapses into me.
Instinctively, I reach out to steady them, and my eyes skate over this person’s body for signs of injury.
All that is forgotten when I meet the pretty blue eyes of the blonde woman with pink streaks in her hair who’s taken up residence in my neighborhood and somehow my heart.