Chapter 16
Lila
The acrid stench of shame and regret fills my nostrils as I sit there in the shower. Off to the side, the key gleams up at me, taunting me, demanding I pick it up and unlock myself. And then what?
There's no way I can get the smell of his piss out of this underwear set. Tears slide down my face as I look at the mess, but it's not the clothes. Not really. Humiliation and sorrow eat at me, burning me from the inside out.
Despite how he treated me, despite the way he pissed on me like I was nothing, I still want him.
I still crave the feeling of his hard cock sliding against the crack of my ass.
Even now, if I close my eyes and concentrate hard enough, I can almost feel the phantom drips of his precum as it lubricated his movements.
He wanted me. There was no question. Even when he found out who I was. His cock never softened. It stayed hard and thick, leaking for me, pulsing with need. How could he do this? How could he despise me this much?
Soft whimpers catch at the back of my throat as I reach over to the key. I strain in the silence, my body burning and aching as I stretch to the limit. He couldn't have put it closer? But then that wouldn't be as degrading, would it?
Now, I'm having to squirm in his piss and my slick, my body slipping in the mess of fluids as I work to release myself.
As my fingers touch the cool metal, the tears splash on the back of my hand.
Why can't I get him out of my head? Why can't I just convince myself that this is a bad fucking idea and force him out?
Wrenching the key from the cool tile, I unlock the other hand and flop back down, unwilling and unable to move. Not now. Not when every minute twitch of my body sends traitorous pleasure through my limbs.
Eventually, however, I know I'll need to get up. Heaving my body off the floor, I turn on the hot spray and stand there, letting it pummel my body. With slow, tender movements, I peel the soaked bra and thong off and toss them to the floor. What am I going to wear home now?
If I show up without a bra, it will be very obvious. There's no way I can explain it away to Dad. It will confirm every fear he's had about me—I'll just get used up by some Alpha. And yet, that's exactly what happened.
I might still be a virgin physically—the doctor’s forced examination notwithstanding—but my mind and soul are forever branded.
Even now, I can see his thick cock jutting proudly from his toned hips.
The precum that slid from his plump slit called to me, beckoned me like an aphrodisiac I never knew existed until now.
I wanted to taste him. I still fucking do.
Even though the acrid stench of his piss still clings to my body, I can smell the musky undertone that's all him.
Fuck. It still has to be the pheromones they pumped into this place.
Why else would I still want him to do nasty things to my body after what he did?
Reaching for the soap jar, I pump a bit out in my hands but stop short. Nothing. No scent. No change in odor to cover up what he did to me. Nothing to hide the shame of my slick as it still clings to my lower lips and perfumes the air.
The room is thick and heavy with it. We didn't fuck, but no one would know that.
It smells like rough, dirty sex. Like he rutted into me for hours, like he claimed me thoroughly.
At least, that's the only thing I can think of.
It's similar enough to what wafted through the dorm doors after Chelsea had a hot and heavy sessions with her flavor of the week.
Leaning back against the tile, I let the hot water run over me in rivulets, making myself a conduit for the cleansing stream as it coats me and washes away the shame. Taking the soap, I scrub my body raw, rubbing every bit that he touched… But it doesn't matter.
Nothing I do erases the memory of him grinding against my ass as I was bent over the desk. It was like something out of a wet dream—my greatest fantasies come to life. Why did it have to be him? Why couldn't it be some other Alpha?
A sob catches in my throat as I slide my hand down over my mound to spread my lower lips to the spray. All I want to do is get cleaned then go home. Only, once the hot water touches me there, slams against my clit like a thousand darting little tongues, the cry turns into a soft, low moan.
I touch myself, caress my body as I wipe away the slick, only for more to appear. It doesn't stop. All it does is ease my touch, making it all the more addictive and alluring. Sliding down the wall, I spread my legs open under the spray and strum my clit, groaning as my body tightens.
This is wrong.
I should be furious.
I should be angry.
I should fucking hunt him down and show him an omega's wrath.
But I don't. I can't. All I can do is touch myself and scream out in my head for an Alpha who will never be mine.
The thoughts in my mind are filthy and erotic as I pull out all my deep, dark fantasies and paint them in Nate's image.
I picture his massive cock as he slides into me, fucking me for the first time, forcing his way past the tight ring of my virgin entrance, stretching me impossibly wide, making me scream. Will it hurt? God, I hope so.
Reaching between my splayed thighs, I slip a finger inside. Not enough. There's no stretch, no filling the ache that throbs in time with my frantic heartbeat. Taking in a deep breath, I slide in two. Still not enough. My pussy is greedy, hungry, and needs more.
Fevered moans pour from my lips as I manage to force three inside. The stretch burns, but dear God, in the best way, making me gasp and writhe. It's the most I've ever gotten in there.
Need slithers through me, making me pant and whine with each movement. Maybe that's the problem. It's never been about me being too tight. Though, granted, that will be an issue at some point. But it could be I've just never been fucking horny enough to relax.
With Nate as the star of my darkest fantasies, I continue to picture him spanking me, owning me, devouring me.
Holding me down, forcing me to take it, using me however he wants.
Everything I've read about and more. He straps me down as he forces me to take each inch of his massive cock—a cock far too large for my tiny body.
He doesn't care about my weak protests. He doesn't stop when I half-heartedly beg him not to do it, not to rip my virginity from me.
Please, Nate, I scream out in my mind. It's too big; it won't fit.
But he just laughs and shoves in deeper.
He doesn't give a fuck about anything I say, only about conquering and controlling me.
A scream wrenches free as I fuck myself on my fingers, feeling the slick sliding down to mix with the water. My other hand roughly grinds against my clit until that alluring mixture of pain and pleasure sends me hurtling over the edge.
Spots dance before my eyes as everything clenches.
My inner walls clamp down, making it hard to slide in and out, but I don't care.
My pussy grips my fingers so tight I can barely move them, but I fight past it, riding out my orgasm until there's nothing left.
Until I'm sobbing his name as my legs are shake. Until I can't take anymore.
Soft whimpers and moans flit into the air as I soften my touch, gentling it as I come down off my orgasmic high. I lay there in the stream as my mind and body come back into one. I hate it. I detest it. I want nothing more than to stay in this liminal space where nothing has meaning.
Unfortunately, real life calls.
Crawling to my feet, my body goes numb as I continue to wash off every trace of Nate. My skin is raw, nearly bleeding, pink by the time I finally step out. Out of every Alpha out there, why does it have to be him?
As I wrap up in a fluffy towel, I look at my discarded underthings as tears prick my eyes once more. The amount of work I needed to do to get that set. I had to hide them away in case Dad found out. I had to sneak into a sale and convince him I only got the plain, sensible kind.
I couldn't trust Linda not to tell him. And even if she didn't with her mouth, I'm sure the bond would have revealed it if she ever did the laundry.
And now it's ruined, tainted forever with Nate's scent.
Marked with his piss, soaked with my slick, and basically unwearable.
Nothing will ever be able to get it out.
A side door opens, cutting into my mourning to reveal the beta from earlier. She steps over to me with a soft smile on her face. "I hope this evening was satisfactory. Let's get you a fresh set of clothes before you head home."
Pausing, I look back down at the sopping mess. "I- I don't have to take these with me?"
"Not unless you want to. The Alpha made it very clear you were to have a brand-new set. Money is not an option. You are also free to pick out another outfit if you want it."
Money is no option? What did Nate do? Clutching the towel even tighter, I join the beta in the medical room, but thankfully we don't have to stay there. Another door leads to yet another room, but this one is filled with all sorts of pretty things.
Glancing at the clock, I note the time and freeze. If I don't leave the theater soon, Dad will come looking for me. As much as I want to take my time, to luxuriate in the spread before me, I flip through the various styles until I find something that catches my gaze.
The set is a dark blue, a perfect offset to my eyes. It's a bit more daring and sexy, something I'd never be able to afford… that is, without much scrutiny. The only saving grace in all of this is I'll finally start having enough to do what I want, when I want it.
Even if I have to live with Nate until I've amassed enough to break out on my own, I can taste freedom.
I can see it in the fancy lingerie and the sumptuous little outfit I have draped over my arm.
Rushing back to the room with my clothes, I slip on the bra and thong and yank my clothes over my body.
Still time to get to my car. But just barely.
Clenching my teeth, I head back out to the main desk, confirm my banking account, and slip out the door into the frigid night air. Thankfully, no messages blow up my phone as I leave the bubble of the clinic. There's no dad hunting me down.
I pull my clothes tighter around my small frame as I run across the lawn and into the center of town. Breath comes out in harsh gasps as I dodge people on the sidewalk. The last thing I need is someone to recognize me and sound the alarm.
By the time I reach the theater, many of the cars are gone. "Damnit," I snap under my breath as I crank up the vehicle and drive home. It's later than I want to be, but not so bad that I'm too terribly worried.
That is, until I slip into the front of the house and come face to face with Robert, Linda, and fucking Nate sitting in the living room just waiting for me. Dad looks at his watch and back at me before raising an eyebrow.
"Hey kiddo. I was about to come look for you. Everything okay?"
"Y- yeah," I mumble, refusing to meet Nate's steady glare. His eyes burn into me, reminding me he knows exactly where I've been and what I've done. "Decided to grab some food with my friends."
"Oh!" Linda cries out as her lips turn to a slight pout "Then you've already eaten. I'll go put up the leftovers."
My stomach growls in protest, though, thankfully, it's so low no one hears it. At least, I don't think they do. The way Nate glances down at my waist makes me think otherwise. Fuck. I knew I should have grabbed something to eat.
"Hmmm," Dad replies, glancing down at his phone and back at me. "Shows you were at the theater the whole time."
Of course he tracked me. Now, more than ever, I'm glad I made the hike from there instead of parking at the clinic. Glancing at Nate, I do my best to give him an I told you so smirk, but I don't want to alert anyone to what we both were really doing.
"They have a place right next door. No sense in driving when it's that close."
"Makes sense. Well, now that you're home safely, I'm off to bed. Get some sleep, kiddo. You and Nate have several places to check out tomorrow."
Irritation turns to anger as I look at my stepbrother. "Oh. I didn't realize we'd already picked out some houses to look at."
"He sent me what's in the budget and I told him which areas would be safest for my little girl."
"Of course you did," I mutter. "How thoughtful. And I'm assuming you're coming with us?"
"Can't. Got work. But Nate knows where to go and who to talk to. You'll be just fine."
Of course he misunderstands my line of inquiry. It's not about me. It's not about an unneeded sense of concern for my wellbeing. It's about being alone with him all day. It's about being trapped in a car with my stepbrother for eight plus hours.
Fuck every bit of my life right now.